Seeking Hope: Book 2 in the Seeking Saga

by Becky Poirier

  “I might wear it someday, but for now, I’m still holding out for Mr. Right,” she said with a smirk. “You’ve already found your Mr. Right and should be able to wear something beautiful on your wedding day. Besides, you need something borrowed and something old and this fits into both those categories.”

  “You’re forgetting about the something blue and something new,” I replied trying to remain detached from the gift she was trying to give me. It still didn’t feel right, even if she was just loaning it to me.

  “Actually; I have that for you too. Just wait here.” Before I could respond, she took off out of the room. I could hear her footsteps ascending the ladder to her loft.

  I stood there staring at the gown. It was gorgeous, perfect, everything I wanted. It just seemed too good to be true. I couldn’t have everything I wanted, or could I? Nothing would ever live up to the image I’d played out in my head a million times, though my fantasy was probably unrealistic. I’d always imagined showing up to my wedding on a beautiful white horse, on a sandy beach with the waves crashing against the shoreline. That was probably always going to be a little over the top. But to have an actual wedding gown to wear, that was an amazing thing. I should have felt elated. But I still worried.

  Kaia came back a minute later holding something behind her back. “Close your eyes,” she said. I rolled them at her instead. “I’m serious. Close your eyes.” I obeyed the second time. “Now hold out your hands.” I sighed as I obeyed. She plunked something cold, metallic, and light into my hands. “Okay, you can open them.”

  I looked down at what she’d placed in my hands. It was a large silver hair clip with several blue gems surrounded by delicate white pearls. “It’s beautiful,” I exclaimed.

  “It’s your Christmas present. I figured it would be better to give it to you early. Now you have everything; and you can’t reject the dress or the makeover.”

  “What makeover?” Kaia jumped up and down excitedly as she giggled. Oh great, this was bound to be unpleasant.

  I hadn’t had my hair done up in anything more than a bun in the last six years. Having someone curl my hair was a strange thing. She kept tugging at my hair and scolding me for moving. She’d borrowed a mini generator to power the curling iron and I wondered what kind of excuse she’d used to check it out. She probably said she needed it for the sewers, though we used a much bigger generator in our cabin. In the summer months the solar panels on our roof were enough to power our machines but in the winter; we also used generators. The soldier in charge of supplies, probably didn’t bat an eye at Kaia.

  Kaia refused to let me look in the mirror as she worked. I could feel soft warm ringlets landing on the side of my face as she worked. Kaia often curled her own hair, but normally she put rags in her hair overnight to get the curls. I wasn’t even aware that we had curling irons in the village.

  I tried to sit still, but I couldn’t help fidgeting. I thought when she put the hairclip in my hair that was the end of the torture, but she pushed me back down in the chair when I attempted to stand back up. She ran back up to the loft and was back in a flash holding what looked like a small flowery purse. Kaia pulled out a tube of lipstick and I instantly started to protest. The last time I’d worn make-up was when I was six for a dance recital and I’d hated it back then. I’d squirmed when my mother tried to put it on me. She practically poked my eye out trying to put eyeliner on. I’d never had the urge to put make-up on since.

  “No thank-you. I think it would be best if Jack married the person he fell in love with, not a scary alter ego covered in slime.”

  Kaia laughed. “Come on. You can’t tell me that you don’t want to look pretty for him.”

  “I agreed to the dress and the hair. Make-up is a no go.”

  “Just a little bit of lipstick…please,” she begged.

  I groaned. “Fine, but not red. I’m not wearing hooker make-up.”

  “I’m offended by that. Red lipstick doesn’t make me look like a hooker…well at least not the cheap kind.” I laughed. “Okay, hold still this won’t hurt a bit.”

  The shade she forced me to wear, wasn’t all that bad. It was a very soft pink. It was subtle, just the way I thought make-up should be and it complemented my skin tone and hair colour. But I wasn’t about to let Kaia know how much I liked it. She would have been inclined to force more make-up onto my face and lipstick was enough.

  By the time she finished dolling me up, the sun was already beginning its descent. It was almost time to meet Jack. Kaia helped me into her mother’s dress. The material was much lighter than it looked, and it was nearly a perfect fit. The only place it was slightly too big was at the bust, but Kaia managed to hide a couple of pins so that it didn’t look so out of place. I softly glided my fingers over the embroidery on the skirt.

  “Your grandmother made this, didn’t she?” Kaia nodded. I recognized the beautifully delicate handwork. Sofia had an amazing gift. There wasn’t anyone in the village that was as talented when it came to sewing. I often felt like Sofia got bored with the simple clothes she was forced to make. Whenever she had the opportunity to do something different and exciting, she jumped on it. Even though it was normally her break time in the afternoon, she’d started joining us in the afternoon, for the kids’ class so that she could participate in the gift making.

  “You look so beautiful,” Kaia said as she turned me around to look in her grandmother’s tall dresser mirror. My hair had never looked so soft or full of life. The soft ringlets flowed down the sides of my face. Only a small amount of hair was pulled back into the hairpin. The dress looked amazing on me. It was better than the gowns I used to imagine.

  “Kaia are you sure this is okay?” I asked again. “I could change. It really doesn’t feel right.”

  “It does to me. You were meant to wear this dress and someday I might get to wear it too, but for now, I want you to wear it. So please just stop fussing, so we can get ready to go already.”

  The workday wasn’t over for most people yet. We still had an hour before supper time. We needed to be back before the commander made his big announcement. While everyone was still busy, we were all going to sneak out to the hot spring. Jack was going to go get Billy just before. April was going to fake an illness to get out of work early and Sofia was going to excuse herself to join us. Kaia of course was going to be there too. It was starting to feel like a real wedding. But there was still a part of me that couldn’t help but feel sad. A tear rolled down my cheek before I could catch it.

  “What’s the matter?” Kaia asked.

  “It won’t be the same without them there. My brothers, my sisters-in-law, my nephew…my parents.” I’d always imagined my dad walking me down the isle, trying not to cry. My mother would be looking on proudly from her seat. Noah of course would have been looking grumpy at the idea of any man taking me away from the family. My nephew would have been the ring bearer. But none of that could happen. Jack couldn’t fix everything. I clung to my little compass necklace trying to draw strength from it. It was something I hadn’t done much since we’d come here. It was at least a little piece of my father that I’d bring with me on my wedding day.

  Kaia wrapped her arms around me. “I know,” she said softly as a tear fell down her cheek. She did know. She’d lost her parents. When it was her turn, they wouldn’t be there. That was a hard thing to give up. “Okay,” she said shaking off the negative emotions, “no more crying. We can do that later when you’re getting married. For now, we need to get going.” She took a handkerchief and wiped away the remaining moisture from my eyes. “I’m just glad you refused the mascara because you’d be an absolute mess.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

  It felt strange sneaking around the village, in the most obvious apparel I could wear. But no one was around to notice. Kaia’s cottage was far from the main part of the wall, where most of the guards were stationed and no where near any of the work buildings. It was way better than sneaking away from my place would have been.r />
  To keep from freezing, Kaia loaned me an ivory bolero her grandmother had knitted. It didn’t match the dress at all, but I planned on taking it off before we reached the spring. I hoped that the ceremony wouldn’t take too long.

  The butterflies in my stomach wouldn’t stop flitting about. The closer we came to the spring, the more active they became. I could feel my cheeks flushing. April was waiting just outside the brush for us. She took a double take as we approached. Her lips spread into a proud grin, and I swore she was fighting back tears.

  “Wow,” she exclaimed. “I’ve never seen you look so…wow.”

  “You said that already.”

  She laughed. “I know.” She sighed. “Well, I guess we better get this over with…I mean get the show on the road,” she corrected.

  “I thought you said you were okay with this.”

  “I am. I’m just tired and stressed is all. I’m happy for you Summer.”

  “April, it’ll all be okay. For both of us.” I didn’t know it would be. All I knew was that it had to be. She was sacrificing staying here for me. I never saw it before, but it really was a difficult thing for her to do. And now I understood. Giving up her freedoms wasn’t something April did lightly. And given what was about to unfold, I didn’t blame her if she felt anger towards me, for insisting we stay.

  “It will be,” she replied with a weak smile. “Anyways, your groom is waiting rather impatiently on the other side. Let’s do this.”

  My heart pounded violently in my chest. Jack was just on the other side of that brush. And he was waiting to marry me. It suddenly felt so real. Before I’d felt like I was walking in some sort of haze, but now I was fully awake. I was both excited and terrified. I slipped my bolero off and handed it to Kaia. Goose bumps instantly sprung up on my arms.

  April wrapped her arms around me as she tried to rub some warmth back into me. I fought back against the shivers that threatened to overtake my body. The last thing I needed was for Jack to see me shaking and get the wrong idea.

  With a deep breath I slowly willed myself to move forward through the brush. When I did, I nearly gasped at the little miracle that lay before me. Jack was standing beside the pastor with Billy at his side. All around the trees and brushes were dozens of white Christmas lights that Jack had hooked up to a small generator. Scattered on the ground were dozens of red flowers. I looked at April who pretended to act all innocent. Only she would have had access to the flowers in the greenhouse.

  Jack was wearing a simple grey suit that was slightly too long in the arms. Billy got the short end of the stick. His navy suit looked to be a size too small. He kept pulling at his pants as if tugging at them would somehow make them not cling at the crotch. Jack didn’t notice his brother. His eyes were stuck on me and mine on him. I couldn’t look away. Any fear or doubt I might have had, disappeared in that moment. This just felt so right.

  “You look gorgeous,” Sofia whispered as I stepped closer. I hadn’t even noticed she was there. She was standing off in a corner. I smiled at her and reminded myself that I owed her big time for this gesture. It couldn’t be easy seeing another woman wear her daughter’s gown.

  Jack reached out for my hand, and I took it, allowing him to gently guide me towards the pond. Pastor Lewis beamed as he took up his book. “Are you ready for this?” Jack asked me. I nodded.

  “Are you?” I asked in return.

  “I’ve been ready since the day I met you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  For the better part of the ceremony, I struggled to even pay attention to Pastor Lewis as he spoke to us. I think he might have given some words of wisdom regarding marriage and then there were the vows. Jack and I hadn’t really had the time to even consider preparing our own, so we went with an original wedding script.

  None of that mattered to me. I couldn’t stop looking at Jack and he couldn’t stop staring back at me. If ever I needed to know if Jack loved me, I’d just remember this moment. The look he gave me was indescribable. All I knew was that the way he was looking at me, it was like he was looking at the most precious thing he’d ever beheld. I’d never considered myself beautiful before. Not when I had my sister to compare myself to. She was tall and elegant. In comparison, I was short and a little messy. But when Jack looked at me the way he did, I truly felt beautiful for the first time.

  I was barely aware that there was anyone else there. My sister was standing beside me of course. Sofia and Kaia were standing back a little. Billy was somewhere too. But in that moment, it was just Jack and me. When Pastor Lewis said that Jack could kiss his bride, I finally snapped back into reality. Jack didn’t hesitate. He apparently was listening better than I was. He leaned in and pressed his lips gently to me. I think he meant for it to be a chaste kiss. After all, we did have an audience. It didn’t take more than few seconds before he gave up on all propriety and I liked it.

  He pulled me in closer as our lips locked intensely. We could have stayed lost in that moment for much longer, but Billy pulled his brother back.

  “Hmm,” he coughed, “sorry to interrupt but the rest of us are freezing our butts off out here.”

  Jack and I both blushed as we finally acknowledged our audience. Kaia was looking at me with a sort of jealous grin. Sofia just shook her head. My sister, she was looking…well kind of nervous, but I didn’t know what for.

  ​“Unfortunately, my brother’s right,” Jack said regretfully. “And you must be freezing,” he said trying to rub some warmth back into my arms. “We should head to the dining hall before the commander has a chance to make his big announcement.”

  Kaia rushed up to me with my borrowed bolero. I hadn’t realized just how cold I was, until she put its little bit of warmth over me. I nodded at Jack. If only it had been warmer, we could have stayed there and made the others go back to announce our nuptials for us. I was really beginning to feel nervous about facing the commander. He didn’t really seem like the type that appreciated any kind of defiance. And this was kind of a slap in the face to his new protocols. I just hoped that he’d believe we didn’t know. It was doubtful. He wasn’t exactly a stupid man.

  Jack took my hand as we got ready to leave our special place. Sofia and Kaia had already taken off. Even though they had jackets and gloves to keep them warm, they were eager to get back to the warmth of a fire. And now that I was finally noticing the world again, I was too. The pastor was heading towards us when Billy stopped him with his hand.

  “Pastor Lewis I just need to borrow you for one more minute if you don’t mind.” The pastor hesitated. His cheeks were bright red, and he was hopping around trying to gather warmth into his skinny limbs. “I promise it won’t take long. You guys go on without us.”

  “Summer I need to speak with the pastor too, so I’ll meet you back at the dining hall.” I stared back at April with confusion. She waved me on. I shrugged my shoulders and headed out of the brush with Jack.

  Once we were a few yards from the clearing, Jack voiced what I was thinking. “That was strange, right?” He asked.

  “Very…and definitely suspicious. You don’t think the two of them are planning something, do you?”

  “I don’t see what,” Jack replied. “We’ve already pulled off the biggest scheme this village has seen since those two drug addicts took off with half our drug stores.” I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t know what the two of them could possibly want with the pastor, but I figured April would fill me in when we met up later.

  The dinner bell rang out at the dining hall and with the sound came the crowd. You never had to ring that bell twice to get people to come out. We’d originally planned to be back to the dining hall before the bell was rung, but I’d taken a little longer than expected getting ready. And now we were with the crowd heading to the hall which meant we had a lot of curious eyes watching us. I was sure the sight of a woman in a wedding dress wasn’t something any of them had seen in a long time.

  Jack squeezed my hand for reassurance. I
could barely feel his fingers intertwining with mine. My hands were numb from the cold. It was probably a bad sign that I was past feeling the sting of the cold. The moment we walked through the doors, the heat from the fireplace hit me causing a painful pin pricking sensation to travel over every piece of exposed skin. I tried to rub my arm with my free hand without drawing Jack’s attention, but apparently, I wasn’t subtle enough. He pulled me towards him and wrapped both arms around me trying to rub feeling back into my arms with his frozen hands. It wasn’t exactly that effective.

  “I’ll be okay,” he whispered. The dining hall was far more quiet than normal. The prying eyes outside had made me uncomfortable enough. This was almost more than I could bare. Jack held me tighter. I realized I was shaking into his arms. I didn’t have the strength to look back at the crowd of onlookers, so instead I focused on the feel of Jack’s hands on my skin.

  Jack slowly weaved us through the tables and the mess of people, just standing around. I dared to look up and saw that we were headed straight towards the commander who was eyeing us with curiosity. Standing beside him was Michelle and her mouth was open so wide it was a wonder her chin didn’t hit the floor.

  Jack released my arms and placed his left hand in my right. He intertwined our fingers tightly as we approached Commander Tate. Michelle was still staring at us with a look of horror and confusion. If I hadn’t been so nervous about talking with her father, I might have been in a gloating mood.

  “Jack, Summer,” the commander began, “what have the two of you been up to?” He asked curiously, with what almost looked to be the hint of a smirk on his face.