by Gemma Hart
And impossible was the worst feeling.
Although I knew it would be a useless mission, I had actually called the UN to send people to check out the camp with the trafficked girls. I had expected them to immediately reject my request since I knew they were stretched pretty thin amongst all the refugee camps but it just so happened that a team was coming to visit our refugee camp to take a census count.
I sent the UN team on ahead with Dozer to see if the girls were still there. Even if they were, I didn’t know where they could possibly send the girls. The country was too broken and overwhelmed to run a proper orphanage. They’d be kidnapped and trafficked again in a matter of weeks of arriving at any orphanage in this country. But I remembered Emilia’s eyes and had sent the UN workers on ahead.
That look of pain. I recognized it. I recognized that pain because I felt it as well. It was something that had become as common in my missions as carrying weapons or sweating your ass in tick infested jungles.
But more than the pain, it had been the disappointment. She hadn’t realized what it meant to be a mercenary, to be an Easy Team member. It wasn’t brave heroics where we tramped around some godforsaken part of Earth, wielding rifles, and rescuing damsels in distress.
Yes, there was death. There was blood. There was injuries.
But a lot of it was compromise. A lot of the missions were about realizing just how far your limit was.
You can’t rescue everyone and that is the worst realizations to have.
And Emilia had gotten a taste of it.
She had been disappointed in realizing I couldn’t save everyone in the camp.
I could bear that disappointment from anyone, but not from her. She was a fucking amazing doctor and I wanted her to always believe she could save the world. I wanted her to have that confidence. I wanted to protect her from the reality of her own limitations.
But the real world wasn’t having that.
So fuck it. If the real world wanted to fuck with her like that, then I would fuck with the real world by ignoring my limitations and calling the UN.
But the camp had been emptied. Randall wasn’t stupid. He probably had kept a man or two back after we had left to grab all the girls and take them to some new and more hidden location.
I knew it had been a futile attempt but still…I had hoped that there had been a chance. A chance at saving those girls. A chance at preserving Emilia’s belief in hope.
“Hawk?”
I turned around and saw Bear standing ready at the mouth of the tent. I straightened up. “Are they ready?”
Bear nodded. “The med team is packed and ready for town. Half of Easy Team will accompany them. They’re already waiting in the trucks.” Bear looked down at the radio in my hand. His lips turned down in a frown but there was no surprise in his eyes. He was all too familiar with the ways of this kind of world. “No luck with the camp, huh?”
I shook my head. “That sick fuck took them all before we got there.”
Bear shook his head. I knew he was remembering the El Salvador mission. I could tell by the way his fists curled up in old rage. “I can’t believe he’s here. In Qunar. What are the fucking chances?”
I shook my head again. What were the chances? And not only was he here in Qunar when I was also here. Randall was here when Emilia was here as well, putting her life in danger.
“Tweety hasn’t heard any chatter about an American in these parts,” Bear continued. “Have you let the commander know?”
“First thing I did,” I said. “But so far, the orders have been to stay put and to make no waves. Our business here is first and foremost to keep the peace and protect the refugees.”
Bear snorted darkly, his lips twisting in a grim smile. “If I remember correctly, Randall has a distaste for peace.”
“Which is why we need to protect it,” I said. But instead of peace, all I saw in my mind was Emilia.
As if reading my mind, Bear’s face slowly relaxed into a teasing glint. “The med team is all loaded but,” he paused giving me a sly look, “we were short on seats and Dr. Lyon is still in need of a ride.” He grinned at me knowingly. “I figured you wouldn’t mind driving the good doctor yourself, boss.”
I narrowed my eyes at Bear, not enjoying his knowing leer. And I especially wasn’t enjoying the fact that Bear probably knew just how eager I actually was to have Emilia in the truck to myself.
“Fine,” I said stiffly. “Let’s go.”
Bear grinned. “Yes, sir,” he said with mock severity.
I gave him a good punch in the side and was pleased to hear him grunt in response.
***
Well, this is awkward. I drove down the road, following the parade of trucks towards town.
Emilia sat next to me, stiff and formal, as she stared out her window. I knew she wasn’t mad at me. She wasn’t so petty as that. It was something more. She was trying to reimagine me with the truth of who I was with the idea of who she thought I had been.
It had been a cold decision to let Sora go. And I could tell Emilia was still shocked by it. Regardless of the fact that if I hadn’t let her be taken, the other girls would’ve been shot and killed, Emilia still couldn’t believe Sora hadn’t been rescued.
“Did you…” she suddenly started. “Did you call the UN?”
I pressed my lips, silent for just beat before answering. “Yes,” I answered honestly, keeping my eyes on the road.
Emilia turned to me in surprise. “You did?” she asked. Seeing her surprise made me realize that I hadn’t fooled her with my promises the other day. At the time, I hadn’t thought I would actually call the UN. I was just trying to calm her down. And clearly, she had seen through all that.
“And?” she pressed. “Did they come? Are they going to come?”
I tried to weigh the options before me.
Emilia still had several weeks ahead of her in Qunar. She had much more to see during her time here. She might very well see a bombing or a terrorist attack bleed over from Pakresh. She had prevented a measles epidemic but something else might break out and we might not get so lucky. We might run out of medicine and vaccines and she would have to see people die from preventable diseases right in front of her.
But more than that, she might see sides of me that were dark. That were bloody.
Randall was here in Qunar. And now he knew I was here as well. Regardless of our mission of peacekeeping, I knew it was just a matter of time before we had our confrontation. It was inevitable.
And a side of me that Emilia won’t have seen before will come out. A side that is even more ruthless than she’s already seen.
Till that day came, I wanted to protect Emilia. I wanted to protect her ability to hope and to fight and to work for a better future with Qunari.
I didn’t want to taint her further with the darkness of my world.
“They went to the camp this morning,” I said, keeping my voice even. “They were able to round up the girls and will be transporting them to the capital today. There’s an orphanage there far from the border where they can be safe.”
Emilia fell back against her seat with a deep sigh. I looked over at her and I saw a glowing relieved smile on her face.
“That is probably the best news I’ve ever heard in my entire life,” she said sincerely. “And I’m including the time I found out I had passed my final anatomy lab by the skin of my teeth.”
I chuckled and Emilia laughed, a heavy weight off her shoulders.
I was glad to take the weight off her shoulders and I had absolutely no problem of carrying the weight myself for her.
“Maybe there’s some hope after all,” she said softly to herself.
I looked over at her before reaching for her hand. She jerked in surprise but I held firm and gave her a squeeze. “There’s hope if you keep fighting for it,” I said. “Things can get dark in this world but that’s why hope is that much more precious. And that much more worth fighting for.”
She stare
d at me in surprise and wonder. Her eyes studied me carefully and I made sure to keep my expression neutral and genuine.
“You’re right,” she said, squeezing back. “But it’d be hard to keep fighting if you couldn’t see hope at work. I’m glad those girls are safe. That gives me strength.”
It’d be hard to keep fighting if you couldn’t see hope at work.
I knew from the minute I had seen her that she was someone special. Only someone special could be so insightful because fuck, were her words true.
Fuck. They were the truest words anyone could say.
But before I could reply, we arrived in town and were quickly swept up into the work of setting up the medical station. The city official had done a great job in letting the word get out about our arrival. There was already a modest line of people waiting for treatment near the meeting hall.
Immediately, we unpacked the equipment, helped the doctors set up their stations, and then began the process of organizing the people outside. Within a few short hours, the meeting hall was buzzing with activity as the doctors worked nonstop to treat the patients.
Every quick moment I got, I watched as Emilia work tirelessly to bandage, stitch, examine, or splint a patient. She smiled and spoke her few words of Qunari to the patients. She was gentle with the children and understanding towards the elderly. She showed no signs of disgust or revulsion at their poverty or their dirtiness.
One man came in with an infected foot that was covered in dirt and oozing pus. Emilia calmly examined the foot and carefully cleaned the wounds and lanced the boils, draining the remaining pus, before bandaging the entire foot. And through it all, she was calm and friendly to the man, making sure he wasn’t in too much pain through the procedure.
Yes, a woman like that was worth protecting, even if it meant lying to do so. She had something special in her that the world needed and I didn’t want it to get snuffed out.
“Hawk!”
I stepped out of the entrance of the meeting hall and saw Bear a few meters down the road escorting a group of elderly city people. Two of them were pushing someone in a wheelbarrow and were struggling. Another was limping on a crutch.
I ran over to help the group when I felt a sudden tremor run underfoot.
Immediately, I froze.
I looked up and saw Bear standing still, motioning to the group of patients to stand still, with the same look of horrifying realization that I knew was in my eyes.
He looked at me, locking eyes with me.
Fuck, no. God, don’t let it be.
Then another harder tremor ran beneath us again. A small corner from one of the buildings fell off and plummeted down to the street, landing just mere feet in front of Bear and the city people. One of the women screamed.
I looked around quickly. Even before the refugee crisis from Pakresh, Qunar had never been a wealthy country. Most of these buildings were old and outdated and certainly not made with reinforced steel and concrete. And after some bombings and shootings, a lot of the buildings were even more unstable.
Another, harder tremor ran through the ground, shaking all of us. I heard the wheelbarrow fall over and the man inside grunt as he tumbled out.
I turned around and saw the confused people standing by the meeting hall, eyes wide with fright.
The meeting hall! How many dozens of people were inside there now?
I quickly assessed the building. Normally, it would be better to duck and cover indoors but the buildings were just too unstable here. I could already see them crumbling.
People outside started panicking and crying out as the ground shook beneath their feet. As far as I knew, Qunar hadn’t had an earthquake even once in the last decade. No one would know what to do. We had to quickly take hand or else people would just start running around in chaos.
Outside. We had to go outside.
The buildings here were weak but they weren’t very tall. And there were plenty of spaces outside that were in open clearing. We needed to get people outside before they were buried alive in the rubble.
“Outside!” I shouted at the men near the meeting hall. “Get everyone outside and towards the square!”
The square was in the center of the town and was completely clear of any kind of blockage. There weren’t even any trees. If the buildings collapsed, they would be well away from the wreckage. We just had to make sure that they didn’t cause a panic and stampede on each other.
My men near the door quickly started pulling people towards the square, leading them in a swerving line as the ground shook more strongly. I could tell these were just the foreshadowing tremors of a bigger earthquake to come.
Everything was shaping up to be a natural disaster in the making.
“The square!” I turned around, shouting at Bear. But he had heard and was already leading people towards the clearing.
I made my way towards the meeting hall, watching the people tumble out, making sure no one got caught underfoot. In a situation like this, it would be easy for someone to get trampled.
I watched as Doc Jones and Margie made their way out. Margie was holding a child in her arms and Doc Jones was helping a pregnant woman make her way out.
But as I got closer to the meeting hall and the number of people flooding out slowed to a trickle, I felt my heart pound.
Where was Emilia?
I hadn’t seen her yet. I was positive. She was the face I was keeping a look out for and I hadn’t yet seen her come out.
“Where’s Dr. Lyon?” I shouted at Tweety as a small building behind us crumbled. People screamed as they ran quickly towards the square.
Dust plumed around us and fell over us like a second skin. Tweety blinked rapidly as his eyelashes were covered in grit. “I haven’t seen her yet!” he shouted back as he picked up a man who had tripped. “I’ll go inside!”
“No!” I said, motioning him to keep moving. He needed to direct people out safely. “I’ll go get her!”
Before I stepped inside, I heard another round of screams and cries of terror as another building in the distance fell, a loud cracking sound echoing across the city as the walls snapped under the pressure of the earthquake.
A shriek pierced the air behind me as a woman stumbled right as a huge piece of a wall fell behind her, nearly crushing her legs. She reached out towards me in fear and desperation.
I ran towards her but my heart nearly ripped in worry.
Emilia!
I needed to get to Emilia!
Chapter Fourteen
Emilia
“Everyone, out! Out!” Tweety shouted as he rushed into the meeting hall.
People were already wide eyed and frightened before he had come in with the order. The building shook badly, bits of plaster sprinkling over us. I saw mothers clutch their children to them and elderly people look frantically down at their withered legs, wondering if they could make it out.
“Calmly!” I heard Doc Jones shout out from the opposite end of the room. He was nearest to the door and was putting out his hands to stop people from causing a stampede. “Calmly! Slow down! Let’s go out calmly!”
I don’t know how many people actually understood what he was saying but they seemed to understand the steady level tone he was using. Another quake hit us and the walls of the building had a noticeable shiver run down it. The calmness quickly disappeared again into panic.
Tweety came in and was ushering people out. I helped a pregnant woman towards Margie, who helped her towards Doc Jones, who helped her towards Tweety, who guided her outside towards some safe clearing, I assumed.
We daisy-chained the patients too weak or feeble to make it on their own. I stumbled at one point, nearly taking down a patient with me, as a strong tremor hit us.
My heart raced as I passed off the patient to Margie. God, did earthquakes normally happen in this part of the world? I thought being thousands of miles away from California, I would at least be safe from earthquakes!
But actually, in California, I woul
d’ve been safer during an earthquake. Buildings there were built with earthquakes in mind. They were reinforced and designed with quick exits and strong beams. I would’ve been less afraid of an earthquake in the middle of our hospital in L.A. than here in Qunar.
The buildings were small and scattered here but they were poorly built and were already crumbling with these few shakes. God only knew what would happen next if a big one came.
“How many more?” Doc Jones called out from the doorway.
I looked behind me. There was a child and his mother, another heavily pregnant woman who was having a hard time standing with so much shaking. And a man whose broken leg I had just splinted and bandaged.
I heaved the pregnant woman up to her feet and almost toppled over myself. The woman was very near her due date and her belly was unwieldy. My shoulders nearly buckled from her weight.
“Get the kid!” I shouted at Margie as she ran toward us to help. She nodded and went grabbed the little boy and picked him up bodily, running towards the door. The child’s mother running right behind her.
Doc Jones ran towards us. “Just the man then?” he said, already heading towards him.
I stumbled and fell, unable to hold the woman as she leaned almost completely on me.
“Doc! Doc!” I cried out, turning around. He stopped, a shower of plaster sprinkling his hair white. Screams of panic and terror were coming from outside. Clearly, earthquakes were not a common phenomena here.
“Take her!” I said, getting back on my feet and holding the pregnant woman’s hands. “Take her! I’ll take the man!”
Doc Jones stared at me. Clearly, he was thinking the man would be harder to help but the woman was heavy with child and desperately in need of someone to lean on. The man was skinny and just had a broken foot. It would be easier to help the man than the woman.
Doc Jones nodded and quickly heaved the woman up, letting her lean her weight entirely against him as he helped her out of the building.
I helped the man up, letting his much lighter body lean against mine as we hobbled our way towards the exit. We made slow progress and Margie and Doc Jones were already out of the hall before we even reached the door.