by Amy Brent
It was like that time back in twelfth grade. Exam time of course. That was when my stomach would always choose to go into a full opera mode. It was a bellowing alto tune that unleashed itself at the exact moment no one was shuffling their papers or moving their seats. I’d been forced to shift my chair in order to obscure the sound.
My lips compressed into a grim smile. If things came to it, at least I’d have a strategy to deal with my embarrassing stomach groaning when it was quiet.
Although something told me that whatever happened in the next hour or so, quiet would be the least of it.
Charles had to coax me out of my seat in the limo. Then his hand in mine stabled me.
It squeezed mine. It said “you can do this.” Unfortunately, it was wrong. Already, I’d lost my voice, and every step I took was shakier than the last. My whole body felt itchy, as if I were horrifically allergic to whatever material the dress Charles had sent me was made out of.
I forced myself to take a deep breath. In, two, three. Out, two, three. Just one foot in front of the other. That was all it would take. One foot in front of the other.
As we walked through the ornate entryway and through the ballroom, I kept my gaze glued to Charles’s tense face. There was a fierce fire there, one I trusted implicitly. I didn’t dare stray my eyes from it lest I get horrifying flashbacks of what had happened here just a little under a week ago. No, I was here with Charles and today was different. It would have to be different.
When he gestured his hand out into what appeared to be the most lavishly decorated dining room I’d ever seen, I felt like fainting on the spot.
Lavish was too weak a word in fact. The room’s walls and velvet floors, not to mention the velvet settings of the chairs, were rich crimson red. The candelabras and the chairs themselves were gold. On the walls were massive paintings that were as big as ten of me, and the ceiling looked like something out of an art book.
Charles put his hand on my back to steady me.
“Mother insists on having all meals, even family ones, in this mausoleum,” Charles said dismissively. “But don’t be intimidated. I don’t care what she says. I’ve made up my mind.”
I only nodded as he helped me into a cushy chair. Now wasn’t the time to inform him that I had made up mine, too, and that he wasn’t going to like what conclusions I had come to.
We sat there a minute or two before Henry strode in, looking as jovial as ever.
“Imagine seeing you two lovebirds here.” He threw his head back with a grin, which quickly sagged. “Yeah, this is some deep bloody shit we’re in, all right.”
“Tell me about it,” Charles said darkly.
Henry looked as though he were about to make another comment, but he clamped his lips shut. I followed his gaze to the far door. There, in a simple black dress that did nothing to diminish her regal glory, was Queen Mary herself. Her eyes stopped on me and she froze.
“What is she doing here?”
My furious gaze met Charles’s. He hadn’t told her? How could he? My eyes went to the door. I still had time to run out…
Chapter 27
Charles
“She,” I said, my hand going to Heidi’s, “is the mother of your grandchild and the woman I love.”
My words echoed up into the vaulted ceiling. Mother stood stock-still, as if what I’d said physically prevented her from going any farther.
“You can do this the easy way,” I continued, “or you can do this the hard way. Whether you like it or not, we both know Henry is not fit to rule.”
On my right-hand side, Henry took his feet and crossed them on the edge of the table to back me up.
Mother’s lips quivered. She was just itching to tell him off.
Finally, without a word, she glided to the head of the table and primly sat down. She was still half a table away, but at least she had agreed to give me an audience, however temporarily.
“And what do you propose instead?” Mother asked, her eyes as cold and calculating as ever.
“Something viable but acceptable,” I said reasonably, spreading my arms. “Something that will charm the public and please them alike.”
Mother’s impassive, pasty face betrayed no expression. Her light curls were arranged around her face in a stiff confection of waves.
“And you’re under the impression there is such a thing?” she asked, skepticism clear in her voice.
“Yes,” I said simply. “Our story can be that I had Heidi come here for work because we’ve been dating for year and I wanted to propose to her, that we’ve been engaged since she’s been out here.”
Silence. Every breath I took seemed more labored than the last. That was a good story. Right? Mother had to accept it. She had to. Couldn’t she see that?
“And you think the people of England will accept that?”
This question of Mother’s was more skeptical than the last. I met it with a question of my own: “And you think they won’t?”
She sealed her lips and shook her head once more.
“I don’t know. It certainly is a better story.”
That was when the butler, Randolph, decided to show up with our food. He brought little Cornish hens baked to perfection. Henry and I attacked ours with vigor, Mother took her sweet time slicing and dicing it in all the right ways, and Heidi hardly touched hers.
She looked even more floored than before I’d announced the plan Mother had almost accepted.
The stubborn old queen hadn’t accepted it yet, true, but the very fact that she hadn’t dismissed it out of hand meant we had a chance—a bloody good one.
“Is something the matter?” I asked Heidi.
She only smiled tensely and tried shoveling some of the hen into her mouth. She chewed for several minutes before she swallowed shakily.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” Her voice was quiet but strong.
“What you mean?” I asked her. “This would be the answer to all our problems. You could stay here, be with me. Isn’t that what you want?”
She wrung her hands together, keeping her gaze firmly on them.
“Of course it’s what I want,” she continued quietly, “but I don’t want to lie. That was the one thing my father always taught me: not to lie. And I’ve always been terrible at it, so I don’t even know how I’d do it and…”
She stood up and the room fell silent.
“I’m sorry,” she said to my mother, “but I have to go.”
She hurried through the door and out into the ballroom.
“Heidi, wait!”
I chased her, but she only paused when she was out of Buckingham Palace’s front door.
Shaking her head furiously, she said, “Please, Charles. I gave you time, so give me time. I can’t sit there and pretend to accept this in front of you, your mother, and your brother while my insides are churning with this decision. This is my whole life you’re asking me to leave. Everything I’ve ever known has been in the United States of America. And I love it here, but…” She shook her head miserably. “You told her so many things you never even told me. Your mother didn’t even know I would be here. And then your big plan…why didn’t you tell me about it in the car?”
Every one of her words was another sting in my side. I winced, then sighed, nodding.
“You’re right of course,” I said. “It’s just that… You have to understand. I did this for us. Mother wouldn’t have come if she’d found out you were here. And you, I didn’t know what your reaction to my plan would be, so I thought the best thing to do would be to spring it on both of you at the same time.”
“Spring it on us,” she said bitterly.
My hands snatched hers.
“Heidi, please.”
She ripped hers away, not even looking at me now.
“Please, let me take your car back to my flat. Please let me do that and have the time I need to think this through.”
“Okay,” I said hollowly.
She disappeared into the li
mo waiting at the curb and then was gone.
I turned back to Buckingham Palace and tried to imagine what in heaven’s name I was going to tell my family. Or what I was going to tell myself even.
To say that Heidi hadn’t reacted how I’d expected would be the understatement of the century. I’d thought she would have been happy that I’d come up with a solution for us.
I paced outside the castle, strolled around the palace once, twice, three times. But I couldn’t walk off the crumbling sensation in my chest. It was as if everything I’d ever wanted was being destroyed in front of me.
Chapter 28
Heidi
I must’ve looked ridiculous as I waited inside the airport terminal, seated on a stiff-back chair, wearing my huge sun hat.
But the alternative was much, much worse. Who knew what nosy tourists would start doing once they realized who I was? There would probably a parade of covert cell phone photos and another round of sad stories online. I didn’t want to see any more of that, and I certainly didn’t want to put my parents through any more of that either. They’d been through enough because of me. According to my dad, they’d actually had reporters come to their house.
Could you imagine?
Anyway, now everything was settled. I’d made my decision. I’d sent Charles the text, but by the time he got it, it would be too late. I’d be gone.
I’d known it was the right thing to do when he had come by the apartment on Monday—to leave, to get away from all this—but my feelings for him and his entreaty had convinced me otherwise.
Now, for the first time, my whole body felt still, as if the hammer had fallen. Yes, finally I was doing what was right.
Sure, it would hurt Charles, but me staying with him would only be a liability to his career and mine. What would I do sitting around the palace all day? Not to mention that his mother hadn’t even accepted the plan and probably wasn’t going to. Anyway, I wasn’t about to stick around to find out. I was doing what was best for Charles and for me. Of course, I’d let him visit and see his child, but that was it. Although maybe he wouldn’t understand it now, one day he would.
Right now, my bags were packed and checked, and here I was, inconspicuously conspicuous in my ridiculous sun hat and sunglasses. No matter. That was my flight now.
After hearing the call, I lingered a little in the waiting area. I remained in my seat as time ticked down to the last minute we could board the plane. I knew I was getting on it. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for. I guess a part of me really didn’t want to do this, to leave Charles like this. I had to, though.
So, I got up, slung my duffel bag over my shoulder, and made my way to the ticket counter.
I handed the man my ticket, and he said, “Just one moment please.”
The next thing I knew, there was a strong hand on my wrist.
“Heidi.”
I turned around to see Charles.
He was wearing a big hat and bulky sunglasses of his own, and I almost burst out laughing at how preposterous he looked before I remembered why he was here.
“I have to board my flight. I bought the ticket and I’m going,” I said.
“Can you just give me a minute? Please,” he said forcefully.
He looked at the ticket man. “You can put off the flight for fifteen minutes while we talk?”
The man nodded and mumbled something into his walkie-talkie. Taking me by the arm, Charles conveyed me to an abandoned part of the seating area.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “I just don’t have a career and I’ve nowhere to stay. I know you’ve made these big promises, Charles, but I don’t think your mom’s going to go for it. And my career means so much to me and—”
“She did go for.”
That shut me up.
“What?”
My gaze went to his. His was steady, unwavering. Around him there were airline passengers going about their daily business, waiting for flights and whiling away time on phones and in books. They had no idea that right now two people were making a choice that was going to change everything about their lives.
“She’s agreed that you’re to move into the palace until the baby is born,” Charles continued.
It seemed as though Charles was saying the wrong thing, as if he had said lines that belonged to some other story. They couldn’t be real. They were just too good, too perfect.
“Charles,” I said weakly, “I don’t know.”
“But I do,” he said. “I’ve known for a few weeks now. I won’t be happy with anyone but you. I know this is going to be hard, for both of us, but I can help you with your career if you can help me with mine. You don’t get it, do you, Heidi?”
As I looked into his fervent blue eyes and down to his hand, which was clasping mine, I realized he was right. I didn’t get it.
“You being with me,” he continued, “won’t hurt my career; it will make it. A woman like you will make me a better man, a better ruler. In making me happy, you will make me a fit ruler for the people of England.”
His words were so big, and I still felt so small, so insignificant and accident prone and…
“So will you?”
It was almost surprising to see Charles looking at me in that avid way.
“Will you stay?”
I said nothing.
“Will you at least walk with me somewhere to talk some more? If you decide not to stay, then I’ll have you driven back here myself. I just don’t feel comfortable here.”
I followed his gaze to a woman wrapped in many layers who was not so slyly eavesdropping on us.
Every part of my body was rustling with anticipation. I knew what I had to say, and yet the answer terrified me. It absolutely freaking terrified me. Nevertheless, with every bit of bravery I had left, I said it.
“Yes.”
--
Crystal Palace Park was thankfully pretty abandoned. Part of me wondered if Charles had booked it off. Then I realized he couldn’t have expected I would have agreed to come. Or could he have?
Whatever the answer, it was nice, walking around the giant fake creatures from the scaly iguanas to the hairy moose. Charles made me sit on the back of a giant dinosaur.
“Aren’t we expressly forbidden from doing this?” I asked with a wry smile.
“Have you forgotten who I am?” Charles queried loftily.
“And what about the baby?” I said, more nervousness in my voice now. As Charles climbed up behind me, he rested his hands around my stomach.
“I meant what I said before. I’m never going to let you fall, either of you.”
“Charles…”
His hands stroked up to my shoulders and gave them a squeeze before setting in on a massage.
“Relax,” he said. “We’re just talking, deciding, figuring things out.”
“Is that what we’ve been doing?” I said, still grinning myself.
I’d almost forgotten the whole reason we’d come here. Being with Charles was like that. It clogged my brain with so much happiness, all rational thought got swept under the table. But he was right. I had a decision to make, a really big one.
“I really like you,” I confessed, “but I don’t know about this. It’s just so much in such a short span of time.”
Charles’s hands stopped their relaxing motions, and he lowered his chin onto my shoulder.
“Do we have to do this on the back of a giant, long-neck dinosaur?”
Giggling, I allowed him to crawl off and give me his hand.
“Did they have The Land Before Time in England too?”
He assumed a hotly offended expression.
“What kind of heathens do you take us for? Of course we were well acquainted with Littlefoot, Ducky, and Cera.”
“You forgot Petrie,” I said with a wink as he helped me down.
We stared at each other for a minute and then burst out laughing.
“How is a model so weird?” he asked the sky.
“How is a prince s
o weird?” I asked the sky too.
He shrugged.
“Poor parenting, I guess.”
I laughed.
“Same here.” We gave each other a high-five, which led into an extended hand-holding session.
As Charles led me over to an old-looking terrace, he continued. “You have to feel this. Tell me you don’t feel this.”
I averted my gaze. His low words were an arrow that hit me straight in the heart. Of course I felt this. How could I not? The whole entirety of my heart was thrumming with this, this feeling, this joy, this rightness.
And yet, my head knew better.
“There’s just so many variables at play,” I said. “It would mean a total three-sixty in my lifestyle, where I live. I’d be far away from my family and friends.”
“Who would be welcome to use our jet to come visit at any time they pleased,” Charles pointed out.
My surprised gaze found his.
“You have a jet?”
Charles heaved a mock sigh. “Oh no. Tell me you’re not one of those.”
“One of what?”
“Those jet hos,” Charles said emphatically.
I burst out laughing, then got quiet. Charles’s words made me think. He was systematically destroying any argument I had with logic. Really, I had been afraid of losing touch with my family and friends, but my dad and mom were not adverse to flying, nor was Cindy, the one friend I’d left back home who I was still close with. They wouldn’t mind taking the odd jet trip out here. Not to mention Charles and I could probably take trips ourselves in the few spare moments we had.
“And my career…”
“Yeah. What happened with that?” Charles asked. “Liza said even your agent blew you off.”
I sat down on the rocky side of the terrace with my legs dangling down. Charles sat beside me, though he kept his arms wrapped protectively around me. The grass was so green that it reminded me of the grass from the Shire in The Lord of the Rings.
“I went in and it was like something out of a movie,” I finally told him. “No one could look at me, not even my own agent. My agent, who I’ve worked with for years, said my career is virtually over, that my reputation is destroyed and no one wants to work with me. I even called this guy who had been begging to work with me and he hung up on me.”