Morris seemed a bit taken aback by Dan’s arrival. ‘I’ve been teaching this young man a lesson in humility,’ he croaked out in that gravel voice of his.
Dan pulled up a chair and sat down, leaning back with his hands clasped behind his head. ‘I’m glad I found you here, Morris. I need an inventory of the stockroom.’
Morris made a face. ‘It’s Sunday. Can’t it wait until tomorrow when I can put one of my staff on it?’
‘I’m sorry. I’m working on a budget proposal and I need this right away. Of course, since you’re here putting in overtime, I figured it wouldn’t be too much of an imposition.’
‘And you need the inventory right this moment?’
‘I would like it, yes.’
Morris raised his eyelids as he glanced suspiciously at both of us. With a great deal of effort he pushed himself out of his chair. As he made his way across the office, he stopped to waggle a finger at me.
‘Don’t go moving those checkers around. I have the position right up here.’
He tapped his skull and gave us both one last suspicious glance before leaving the office and closing the door.
Dan turned to me, smiling as pleasantly as ever.
‘I wasn’t kidding before about just talking about you,’ he said. ‘What happened this morning?’
‘I ate some powdered doughnuts before church. Some of the powder must’ve gotten on me and Phil thought it was cocaine residue. He jumped me right there in the church parking lot.’
‘You’re kidding?’
‘Nope.’
Dan chuckled at that. ‘I guess our DA friend is chomping at the bit to nail you any way he can. Let me ask you a question. What the hell were you doing going to church?’
‘I don’t know.’ I looked away. ‘I guess I was trying to fill some spiritual void.’
‘Yeah, well, you should’ve tried filling it last night at Kelley’s.’ He was still smiling, but it was thinner and less pleasant. ‘I talked with Toni. I don’t understand you, Joe. That was all the spiritual enlightenment you needed right there. And an exclusive and expensive one at that. A hell of an expensive one. Here I go out of my way to help you out and what do you do? You walk out on her?’
‘I wasn’t feeling good last night.’
‘You weren’t feeling good, huh?’ He started laughing, but it came out kind of brittle and harsh. ‘I don’t know. You’ve been acting soft in the head ever since you got out of jail. All I asked of you was to keep a low profile, do what needs to be done, and then move the hell away from here. Instead you go to Zeke’s just begging for trouble—’
‘I didn’t go to Zeke’s looking for trouble.’
‘Of course you did. The same reason you went to church this morning. It’s making me wonder whether I can count on you. It’s really causing me to think, Joe, especially about your Tuesday deadline.’ He paused to study me, his smile now completely gone. ‘So what’s so important that I had to be dragged here?’ he asked.
‘I found out something about Phil last night.’
‘Yeah?’
I hesitated, feeling a little sick inside thinking about what I was doing.
‘Hurry it up. I don’t have all day.’
I took a deep breath and told Dan about Phil’s weekly trysts.
‘No kidding?’
‘No kidding.’
His smile came back. ‘Well, it explains why you walked out on Toni.’
‘Why’s that?’
‘Never mind,’ he said, chuckling to himself. He seemed to enjoy whatever private joke he was having. He wiped a tear from his eye and asked, ‘What girl’s he seeing?’
‘I’m not sure, but I think it’s the redhead.’
‘Susie?’
‘Yeah, I think so.’
‘What do you know,’ he said. ‘He’s got good taste, I’ll give him that. So why’s this so important?’
I hesitated again as I felt my stomach twist into knots. I waited until the discomfort passed. ‘If your boys can catch them in the act, you could have the county bring a morals charge against Phil. That would sideline him for at least a week and buy us some more time.’
He sat like a mannequin as he stared at me, his smile frozen into something not quite human. He was like that for a good several minutes.
‘Why am I wasting my time with you,’ he finally said.
‘We’re playing a waiting game now with Manny,’ I tried to explain. ‘If we can buy enough time this problem is going to resolve itself and—’
‘There is no problem if you take care of either Manny or Coakley. That’s all that has to be done. It’s so damn simple, but you want to make it into some big complicated mess. I really think you have gone soft in the head, Joe. I’m serious about that.’
He got out of his chair and took several angry paces before turning back to me. ‘Quit trying to be so fucking smart,’ he forced out. His skin color had dropped to a sickly white. He was breathing hard and I could tell he was making an effort to control his emotions. ‘You think you’re so goddam brilliant, and maybe in some ways you are, but in other ways you’re the stupidest motherfucker I know. This is simple. So very fucking simple. Just take care of it and get it done before Tuesday. This is the last time I’m going to tell you that.’
‘Dan, why don’t you think about what I said—’
‘Shut the fuck up.’ He pointed a finger at me. ‘Just shut your mouth and think. Quit acting like a goddam moron.’
He started towards the door, but stopped to face me.
‘I’m pissed off right now,’ he said. ‘So don’t get too offended, okay? Just fucking think and do what needs to be done. And when Morris comes back, tell him I’ll pick up his inventory later in the week.’
After Dan left, I sat alone and generally felt lousy. It just seemed like such a rotten thing to do, telling Dan about what Phil was doing. If I hadn’t maimed him, he wouldn’t be seeing a prostitute. And here I was trying to expose him even further. I felt some relief that Dan wasn’t going to use what I told him, but it still made me sick to my stomach thinking about it. At that point I made a decision. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen, but Phil was going to be left out of it. I wasn’t going to cause him any more damage. I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do, but I knew that much.
When Morris came back with his inventory, I gave him Dan’s message. It left him in a foul mood. I let him beat me a few more times and it mollified him somewhat. A little before twelve thirty I stood up and offered him my hand.
‘I’ve got to get out of here while I still have a little dignity intact,’ I told him.
‘Well, young fellow, thanks for stopping by to see me,’ he said, his eyelids half raised. ‘At least, I think so.’
I wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that. I murmured something about seeing him around.
‘Funny about Dan showing up for that inventory,’ he noted.
‘Yeah, that did seem kind of odd to me also. Well, so long.’
Morris let his eyelids droop a bit more. ‘As far as seeing me around,’ he said, ‘I certainly hope not. At least not here in Bradley. I hope by this time tomorrow you’re walking along the sunny beaches of the west coast of Florida.’
‘It’s a nice thought, Morris, but I got a meeting with my parole officer tomorrow. But I’ll be thinking about it.’
‘I hope you do more than think about it. I’d hate to see you back here.’
‘Don’t worry, you won’t.’
Morris walked me out of the building and we shook hands again before parting. I walked over to my car and sat inside, not sure what to do next. There had to be a way out, I knew there had to be, but I couldn’t come up with it. If only it could be as simple as driving to Florida.
I tried picturing what it would be like living in Florida. Having white sand beaches and the ocean and hot weather. Drinking nothing but margaritas and daiquiris, and eating fresh key lime pie, stone crabs, and shrimp the size of my fist. I tried to imagine wha
t it would be like living somewhere where nobody knew me and where nobody had any vendettas against me. The idea of it sounded so damn nice. If I took off I’d probably have six months, maybe as much as a year, before they caught up to me. I thought about it. It was tempting, but then it hit me how useless my life would end up being. And then I started thinking about my daughters. After a while they were all I could think about. More than anything I needed to hear their voices. Five minutes, that would be all I needed. It just didn’t seem too much to ask for. I sat for a while longer and then drove to downtown Bradley, parked in front of the drugstore, and got five dollars’ worth of change.
When I had gotten Elaine’s address I had also gotten her phone number. There was a payphone outside the drugstore. I walked over to it, took out Elaine’s phone number from my wallet, and stared at the jagged scrap of paper until I made up my mind. I felt jumpy inside as I dialed the number. While the phone rang I felt as if my heart was going to bust out of my chest.
A girl’s voice answered, ‘Hello?’
I tried to ask if she was Melissa but my voice cracked.
She asked again, ‘Hello, who’s calling?’
This time I was able to get my question out. My voice sounded odd to me. I realized I was trembling.
In a guarded voice, she said, ‘No, I’m Courtney. Who’s this?’
‘I’m your dad.’
‘Who?’
I cleared my throat and tried to talk louder. ‘I’m your dad, sweetheart,’ I said, my words sounding hollow as they echoed through my head. ‘I know it’s been a long time. And I know you probably don’t remember me, but I wanted to call to tell you that I’ve always been thinking of you and that I love you.’
She must’ve put down the phone. I don’t think she heard most of what I said. I heard her yelling, ‘Mom, there’s a strange man on the phone who says he’s my dad.’
I heard a more distant yelling, probably from Elaine. I couldn’t make out what she was saying. Only that her voice sounded frantic. Then I heard a rumbling noise, probably somebody running.
Elaine had picked up the receiver. ‘I don’t want you calling again,’ she said.
‘Elaine, all I want to do is talk to my daughters—’
‘You’re not going to.’ Her voice had become deadly calm. It kind of surprised me how calm it was. ‘Tomorrow I’m going to get an unlisted phone number. I’m not going to let the girls answer the phone until we have the new number, so don’t bother wasting your time.’
I heard a click as she hung up.
I stood there feeling as if I barely had the strength to move. Somehow I hung up the receiver and got back into my car. It hadn’t fully hit me how important my girls were to me until I tried talking to Courtney. I had to find a way to live for my two girls. I had to give my life meaning for them. Otherwise, what the hell was the point of anything? The thought of that overwhelmed me. I sat still and forced myself to concentrate. Eventually I came up with a plan. It was a long shot, but given that Phil was off limits, it was the best I could come up with.
Chapter 12
I stopped off at the information desk to ask whether Charlotte Boyd was working. The woman at the desk seemed familiar. She was about my age, attractive except for some small red blotches around her nose and premature gray hair. I saw from her name tag that she was Alice Cook. I remembered an Alice Harrison from high school and was pretty sure it was the same person. Fortunately she didn’t recognize me. She couldn’t have – she was being too nice. After she checked the hospital work schedule, she told me that Charlotte had this Sunday off.
‘Are you a friend of Charlotte’s?’ she asked.
‘I only met her the other day,’ I said. ‘We had coffee together and I was hoping to see her again.’
She gave me a smile as if to say isn’t that sweet. ‘Charlotte’s such a nice girl. Quiet, but very nice. If she used some makeup and did something with her hair, she’d be quite pretty.’
That was stretching it. She’d still have those nervous eyes and a mousy look about her. Still, I appreciated the effort. I agreed with her and asked if she could give me Charlotte’s home number and address.
‘I’m sorry, but that’s against hospital policy,’ she said. I could tell she wasn’t happy with the policy. Her eyes brightened. ‘Charlotte might be listed in the phonebook.’
She found the Bradley phonebook and started searching through it. ‘Here it is.’ She pointed the listing out to me. I borrowed a pen from her and wrote the address and phone number on the back of the scrap of paper on which I’d written Elaine’s phone number.
‘I hope she’s home,’ she said.
‘I hope so too,’ I agreed. ‘She’s all I’m able to think about right now.’
She gave me another of those isn’t that so sweet smiles. I nodded to her as I headed off in the direction of the terminal patient ward. She looked a little confused. I guess she had expected me to run off and try to find Charlotte. But there was something else I needed to do first.
When I got to Manny’s room, I found him alone. He was propped up on his bed watching TV. His eyes shifted to the side as he noticed me, but he didn’t say anything.
‘Jesus Christ,’ I said. ‘I thought you’d be keeled over and dead by now. So much for wishful thinking.’
He scrunched up what was left of his face and made an expression as if he had tasted something foul. ‘You kiss your ma with a mouth like that?’ he asked. His expression shifted to something ill tempered. ‘And don’t worry about me,’ he added. ‘I got two months left and I’m going to be here every goddam second of it.’
I walked over to his bed and sat on the side of it. I could tell he didn’t like me sitting there, but he didn’t say anything.
‘What are you watching?’ I asked.
‘Pats–Jets game,’ he muttered, half under his breath. Then his body started to convulse with what must’ve been laughter. It sounded more like a broken garbage disposal. ‘You want any action on it, call my son,’ he said when he could. ‘Any amount you want to put down.’ Then he started laughing some more. When he finished, he asked, ‘What the hell you want?’
‘Nothing much. I just thought I’d visit an old friend.’
‘I got news for you, I never thought of us as friends.’
‘Yeah, well, neither did I.’
‘What do you know? You’re not as dumb as I thought you were. So what you here for?’
‘It kind of bothered me the way we left things the other day,’ I said.
He didn’t respond. He just shifted his cold, dead eyes sideways so he could watch me.
‘After all,’ I said, ‘I have no right to tell you what you can and can’t do. If you want to confess all your sins to Phil that’s your business. I just don’t see what good it would do you. I’m curious, why not make a confession to a real priest? Phil’s not even Catholic.’
‘Who says I want to confess jack to anyone?’
‘Come on, Manny, I’m just talking hypothetical. I don’t blame you for wanting to unburden yourself. But why not do it right and use a priest? I can help you find one if you want.’
His wasted face puckered up into something akin to aggrievement. ‘I never liked priests much,’ he said.
‘Look, Manny, have you talked this over with your son? He’s not going to be happy with this. Even if Phil honors the deal you make, Manny Jr is going to lose everything he’s got. And he’ll be watched by the law every second of the rest of his life. You’ll be forcing him into a mundane, blue-collar existence. He’ll probably end up having to bag groceries at Food Mart.’
As I stared at him, as I watched him shift uncomfortably in his bed, I realized that he wasn’t just trying to save his own soul. That part of his rationale for making a deal with Phil was to force Junior out of the business. That he was trying to save Junior’s soul also.
I started laughing. I couldn’t help myself. As Manny stared back at me, I could see in his eyes that he knew that I knew what was really
going on. There was no kidding each other anymore.
‘You should think about getting your affairs in order, Joe.’
‘I appreciate your concern.’
We were both quiet then, both deep in our own thoughts. After a while Manny announced that he was feeling tired and he wanted me to leave.
‘And don’t bother blabbing your ideas to my son,’ he warned me. ‘ ’Cause I admitted nothing.’
As I looked at him, I felt a blind fury overtake me. This sonofabitch was all set to ruin me because of some bullshit notion of saving his psychotic lunatic son.
‘It’s not going to be as simple as you think, Manny,’ I said.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘You don’t, huh? You think everything a criminal like you says is going to be taken at face value?’
‘Look Joe, you’re the convicted felon here, not me. And I’m not saying I’m confessing anything. But if I do, it’s going to be the truth.’
‘The truth according to who? A piece of scum like you?’
‘The truth, Joe. Like how you were the guy who beat Billy Ferguson to death.’
He showed me that ‘go screw yourself’ smile of his that I knew so well, and as I watched him gloat I could feel a hotness flush my face. He got to me. That was still no excuse, but he got to me.
‘So that’s going to be your story?’ I half heard myself asking. ‘The thing is I remember playing poker that night and I’m sure I can line up friends who’ll vouch for me. So who did you really send to collect? Junior? Is that what this is all about?’
His body started convulsing again, making that same brokendown garbage disposal noise. When he was done laughing, he looked me straight in the eye. ‘What friends you got these days, Joe?’ he asked, and then he started laughing again, his body convulsing harder than before.
I had to get out of there. I knew I made a mistake talking about Billy Ferguson with him, but as I had said, he got to me, and the words just slipped out. I couldn’t help myself. Everything was a haze as I made my way towards the elevator and then down to the main lobby. I could sort of make out Alice Cook as I walked past her desk. I think she said something to me, but I’m not sure. I just had to get out of there. I had to get that noise of his convulsing laughter out of my head. When I got to my car I sat for a long time. There was no doubt about any of it anymore. There was no longer even a tiny glimmer of hope. If I didn’t shut Manny up I was going to be spending the rest of my days in prison.
Small Crimes Page 12