All right, then. Alicia left the house, locking the door behind her. She set off down the neighborhood and ignored the childhood memories that flooded through her as she passed landmarks that had connections to Jeff Finch. She’d been fine in this neighborhood for months, but seeing him last night must have triggered everything. It was probably why she was so emotional today.
She wished she could call Gwen and dump everything on her, but the nice thing about Gwen was that Alicia hadn’t told her about her mom. So it meant that time with Gwen was like a break from worrying or talking about her mom. Alicia could separate herself from all of that and just have a good time with her friend.
She kept her pace brisk and turned the corner. The next neighborhood was as old as hers, but many of the residents had done major remodels on their homes, so the prices were much higher. A couple of the houses were for sale, which surprised her. Usually houses didn’t go on the market until spring.
She continued walking. Across the street about another block down, a young couple came out of one of the for-sale homes. Another man was with them. They seemed to be in an animated conversation over something, and Alicia decided they were potential home buyers with their realtor.
Then she nearly stumbled on a sidewalk crack she hadn’t been paying attention to. The single man—the realtor—was Jeff Finch, and he’d just seen her too.
Jeff squinted against the winter sun as a movement caught the corner of his eye. He glanced over, prepared to give a friendly wave to a neighbor, hoping the neighbor would stop and tell Mr. and Mrs. Jensen how great this area was. But the woman didn’t wave. In fact, she looked quickly away the moment their gazes connected.
Jeff’s breath caught. It was Alicia. Her hair might be mostly concealed by a purple beanie hat, and her turned-up collar prevented him from seeing her entire face, but he’d gotten a good-enough look.
He wondered if she was training for a race-walking competition, or if she was just trying to get out of speaking to him. Probably the latter.
“You have my number,” Jeff said to Mr. and Mrs. Jensen. “I’ve got to catch up with someone and ask a few questions . . . about the neighborhood. Please let me know your thoughts after you discuss this home. We have two others lined up tomorrow to visit.”
“Will do. Thanks, Jeff,” Mr. Jensen said.
Jeff shook both of their hands, then strode down the walkway to the sidewalk. Alicia was about a hundred yards away now, still walking fast. He hadn’t checked Facebook since he’d sent the friend request, and now he pretty much knew she’d deny it. So the only way to contact her was to speak to her in person. Jeff increased his stride, and when it was clear he wouldn’t be able to catch up with her without breaking into an all-out run, he called out, “Alicia?”
Her step hitched. She’d heard him, but she didn’t slow or turnaround.
“Alicia,” he called again, looking about to make sure nosy neighbors weren’t staring at him. When she still didn’t slow down or turn, he said, “I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, but if you could just give me thirty seconds, then I won’t bother you again.”
She continued to walk, but her step was noticeably slower, and Jeff quickly gained ground.
Finally, she came to a stop, still not looking at him. Jeff was relieved, but his pulse was also drumming with nervousness. When he caught up with her, she turned to face him.
Her hazel eyes stared up at him, and the first thing he noticed was that she’d been crying.
His heart twisted. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “I’m sorry for acting like I didn’t know you last night. I’m sorry for not apologizing after prom. I’m sorry for what happened with Shannon, and for not—”
“Stop,” Alicia said, holding up her hand.
Jeff stopped.
She took a deep breath and blinked a couple of times. The purple color of her beanie made her hazel eyes look more green. It also brought out the pink in her cheeks—or maybe it was the cold bite in the air. “It’s been ten years, Jeff. I’m fine.” She motioned toward him with her hand. “And you’re obviously fine.” She shrugged in a small, resigned way. “Life goes on. We were teenagers—kids, really—and emotions and hormones were crazy back then.”
Jeff nodded, relieved she was saying all of this. That she was basically accepting his apology. But the guilt was still a hard thing in his stomach. “Can I make it up to you somehow?” he asked, his thoughts racing way ahead of his speech. “Name it, and I’ll do it. I can’t stand knowing that I’ve made you cry.”
Her eyes widened. “You think I’m crying about you?”
“I—I can tell you’ve been crying,” he said. “And when you practically sprinted away from me, I just thought . . .”
She laughed, but it wasn’t a warm laugh. “Wow. You’ve still got your ego, I see.” She took a step back, shaking her head.
Panic shot through Jeff. He was going to lose her, here and now, he felt it. “Wait,” he said, reaching out and grasping her arm. As quickly as he touched her, he released her. “I mean, if you’re not crying about . . . me . . . what’s wrong?”
Her brows shot up, telling him that he’d crossed a line. Her personal life wasn’t his business. He knew it, she knew it, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. “Can I help you with something? I’ll do whatever you need. Is it money?”
At least she wasn’t turning and walking away again, but the expression on her face told him that he was pretty much the idiot he was ten years ago. “You think you can help me? Fix my problems?” She scoffed. “That’s really arrogant, Jeff. I’m not some damsel in distress you can throw money at and come away smelling the hero. Not every problem in this world is about money.”
He raised his hands. “I know. I just—”
“You feel guilty, that’s all this is.” Her eyes flashed with fire. “You don’t care about me, and I don’t know if you ever really did. Best friends don’t break each other’s hearts.”
Jeff looked away. It was hard to see the raw pain in her eyes. “I did care about you, Alicia,” he said in a quiet voice, meeting her gaze again. “I was mortified about what I did, and I was an idiot for trying to be someone I wasn’t.”
“Yeah,” she said with another shrug. “I get it, peer pressure.” Her gaze dropped. “I can take care of myself, thank you.”
“I know,” Jeff said. “I shouldn’t have suggested . . . well, I shouldn’t have assumed anything. I mean, I have no right to.” Their gazes held for a long moment.
And then her face crumpled.
Before she could turn away and hide her tears, Jeff pulled her into his arms. She was stiff at first, but as her shoulders shook from crying, she melted against him and buried her face against his neck. Whatever her pain and heartbreak were, it traveled straight to his own heart. He tightened his hold as she seemed to cling to him. After a moment, he realized he was smelling strawberries. It must be a perfume or something she used.
He took some comfort that she wasn’t crying about him. But it was clear her heart was breaking about something, and his instinct was to find out what was wrong and to fix it. He felt protective of her, and if this was about a boyfriend, he’d gladly confront the guy. Or maybe it was about one of her parents?
When she started to calm, he said, “Hey, my SUV is just down the road. We can get in and at least be warm. Do you want to go get coffee or something?”
She drew away from him and wiped at her face. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”
“We can just sit in the SUV, then?”
She hesitated, then nodded.
Jeff felt like he’d achieved a small victory. They walked down the street together, not touching, not speaking. When they reached his Land Rover, Jeff opened the passenger door for her. She climbed in, and he hurried around to the driver’s side to start the engine. The radio came on, and he turned down the volume, leaving a little background noise. He thought it might help her relax.
“You can just drive,” she said, her voice soun
ding a bit shaky.
Jeff was more than happy to oblige. He pulled onto the street and drove out of the neighborhood.
Alicia shoved her hands into her coat pockets and stared out her window. She wasn’t looking at him, or talking to him, but at least she’d stopped crying. And she’d let him hold her. That had to count for something. Maybe she really had forgiven him for prom. Maybe, he thought with a flicker of new hope, maybe they could be friends again. It would never be the same, he knew, but with her living and working again in Pine Valley, they could at least put the past behind them.
Jeff didn’t really have a goal in mind, but he drove toward the ski slopes. Most people were calling it a day, and the traffic going in the opposite direction was thick. But on the way up to the slopes, the lane was wide open. Jeff’s phone had buzzed a couple of times with incoming texts, but he’d been ignoring them.
When it rang, Alicia said, “You can get that. I’m sure you’re a busy man.”
Jeff wasn’t sure how to take her tone of voice, but when he glanced at the incoming call and saw that it was his receptionist, he picked up.
“Hi Clara,” he said.
“Oh hey,” she said. “You haven’t answered my texts. The Jensens want to put in an offer.”
Jeff exhaled. This was great news, but he didn’t want to abandon Alicia right now. “Okay, can you start writing everything up, and I’ll be in touch later. I’ve got some things to do right now.”
Clara was a smart woman and clued in to the fact that Jeff couldn’t talk much. “Are you sure? I’ve never really written up an offer.”
“Just pull up one from another client and compare that,” he said. “I’ll look at it when I can.” Clara agreed, and Jeff hung up with her.
He felt Alicia looking at him, so he glanced over.
“Why did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Blow off work?” she asked.
He raised his brows. “Well, I was hoping we could be friends again. And, uh, friends help each other, right?”
She just stared at him for a moment with those hazel eyes of hers; then her mouth curved into the barest of smiles. But at least it was a smile, and he’d take what he could get at this point.
“I guess we could maybe be friends,” she said. “I mean, I practically soaked your shirt with my tears.”
“Exactly what I was thinking,” Jeff said with a laugh. He had the sudden urge to grab her hand and squeeze it, but her hands were still stuffed in her pockets, and he probably shouldn’t be grabbing her hand anyway.
He pulled into the parking lot of one of the ski slope areas. The lot was nearly empty, and only a few stragglers were loading up their skis and snowboards. Instead of parking by the lodge, Jeff kept driving toward one of the groomed trails.
“Isn’t this for snowmobiling?” Alicia asked when they hit the trail.
“We can drive as far as the first meadow.” Jeff pointed up ahead where a long wooden fence stood. “We’ll have to stop by the fence though.”
Alicia just nodded, so Jeff took that as a yes. He drove to where the fence separated the groomed trails from the deeper snow. He put the Land Rover in park but left the engine idling for now. He didn’t want to presume too much. “Do you want a water bottle?”
“Sure,” she said, tugging off her beanie and running her fingers through her hair.
Jeff handed one over to her from his stash behind the passenger’s seat. Leaning close to her brought her scent of strawberries again. Maybe it was the shampoo she used, because strawberries were completely out of season.
He straightened and tried not to notice the way her eyes were still rimmed red and how it made him want to pull her into his arms again.
“Sometimes I come out here right before the sun sets,” he said. “If we’re lucky, we’ll get to see a herd of deer come down and graze.”
“What do they graze on?” Alicia asked, looking around.
“Winter grass grows on the other side of the fence,” he said. “The fence shields it from the blowing snow, so the line of grass makes a nice little feeding trough.”
“Hmm,” Alicia said, a slight smile on her face. “How come I never knew about this?”
Jeff shrugged. “I guess I found out about it after you’d moved.”
“You moved first.”
Her tone was light, so Jeff took that as encouragement. “Maybe, but when I came back, you were gone.”
Her brows lifted as their gazes connected. “Did you look for me?”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, couldn’t say anything. Then finally, he admitted, “Of course.”
It was strange sitting with Jeff and talking like no time had passed, Alicia thought. So much time had passed. She’d forgotten how fun it was to tease him. She’d forgotten a lot of things, and just spending the past hour with him had brought a lot of it back. The way he bit his bottom lip when he considered a serious question. The way he watched her so closely. The way he seemed unbothered to take time out of his day to drive her around and just hang out. Memories of what he was like as a boy and teenager came flooding back.
That had all gotten mixed up somewhere around their junior year in high school when their bodies and hormones had made both of them topsy-turvy. Alicia could admit her part in things now, and looking back, she knew she was probably one moody girl during those years. Jeff had always been able to coax a laugh out of her, though, just like he had today.
When he told her about the first time he’d come to this cleared field and tried to feed some deer, yet was chased by a buck, Alicia couldn’t help but laugh. He hadn’t been wearing boots, so his dress shoes had sent him tumbling into the snow.
“I think the buck felt sorry for me when he saw how clumsy I was,” Jeff said with a broad smile. His blue eyes seemed to soak her in, and she felt a flutter in her stomach that she promptly ignored. “He decided to turn away and leave me alone after that. No use kicking a man when he’s down.”
Alicia laughed, and she realized how good it felt to laugh. He hadn’t asked her again why she’d been crying, besides the first mistaken assumption that it was over him, and for that she was grateful. Out here, in nature, and watching a vibrant orange sunset helped her put the issues with her mother in perspective. What if, she wondered, what if her mom was doing the best she could and even though her best seemed extremely weak, it was all that she was capable of?
“Look,” Jeff said, interrupting her train of thought. “They’re coming out now.”
Sure enough, Alicia spotted some deer separating from the line of trees and emerging onto the meadow. Jeff turned off the engine of his SUV, and everything went absolutely quiet.
The deer were beautiful creatures, elegant as they traveled together, and Alicia counted fifteen of them. “It’s like a whole herd,” she whispered, thinking if she spoke any louder, the deer would somehow hear and be spooked. “Where’s your buck?”
Jeff gave a quiet laugh. “I think he’s long gone by now.”
Alicia nodded and settled deeper into her coat. The air in the SUV had started to cool already. She felt comfortable with Jeff, as if it hadn’t been ten years since they’d talked. “My mother has become a hoarder,” she said in a quiet voice as she watched the deer bend their heads to eat.
Jeff looked over at her. “A hoarder? As in, she collects stuff?”
“More than that,” Alicia said, meeting his gaze. “She won’t throw anything away. She orders stuff online all of the time with her alimony from my dad and the disability she’s gotten from the state when she lost her job last year. She doesn’t leave the house anymore. We got into a fight about this today because I threw away thirty-year-old hot pads.”
Jeff blinked. “They must have been really important to her.”
Alicia hadn’t expected this response. She’d expected him to be shocked about the deterioration of her mom. “They were a wedding present. But in my defense, they were so ruined I couldn’t even wash them.”
&
nbsp; Jeff leaned his head back and exhaled. “Is your mom why you came back to Pine Valley?”
Alicia nodded, feeling the tears burn her eyes again. She wouldn’t let herself cry a second time on Jeff’s shoulder. She drew in a shaky breath, then told him everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. How her mother was nearly arrested. How her father wanted Alicia to move on with her life and leave her mom’s care to the state system—which would probably end up in jail time because of her habit of sorting through the neighborhood trash. How she didn’t love having to work as a restaurant hostess and waste her college degree in business marketing.
At that confession, Jeff stopped her. “You have a marketing degree?”
“Yep,” she said. “I thought about looking about town for a job, but working in the evenings is actually better than dealing with my mom. She takes late naps, and so she’s asleep most of the time I’m gone, which means she can get into less trouble.”
“You mean she can collect less of the neighbors’ garbage?”
“Yeah,” Alicia said. “The whole neighborhood knows about it, and it’s like everyone is watching for her. I swear I feel them staring out their windows at me when I’m outside.”
“That must be rough,” Jeff said. “I had no idea your mom was having such a hard time.”
Alicia shrugged. “No one does, not even Gwen.” When she saw the questioning look on Jeff’s face, she added. “Gwen’s my friend at the restaurant.”
“Ah, that’s right,” he said. “I saw a picture of the both of you on Facebook.”
“What?”
Jeff’s face reddened, and Alicia decided not to find that adorable.
“I, uh, I sent you a friend request after I saw you last night,” he continued. “I wanted to find a way to apologize.”
Alicia pulled out her phone. She hadn’t been on Facebook today, and she opened the app. “There’s your request.” She looked over at him, and he gave her a hopeful smile. Alicia laughed, then clicked “confirm.”
“It’s official,” Jeff said. “We’re friends.”
Worth the Risk Page 4