You’re the Reason

by J. Nathan

  I pressed my palms to my eyes as guilt flooded my body. “So, this was a warning?”

  She nodded. “To both of us.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  She shook her head, not looking for an apology or my sympathy. “It could’ve been my secret,” she said. “The hazing’s nothing compared to my secret.” Her eyes moved away from mine. “And she knows it.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  She looked back to me, her eyes lifeless and dark. “Another wrong move and it’s out there.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  “I saw Valerie cleaning up leaves on the quad earlier,” Chase said.

  I peeked up at him seated across from me in the coffee shop. “At least she’s still here.”

  Valerie had been called to the dean’s office to discuss the video that surfaced. I don’t know what she said to the dean, but he decided not to kick her out of school. However, she was placed on probation and sentenced to one-hundred hours of on-campus community service. So, her free time no longer belonged to her. I’d offered to help her, seeing as though I was partly to blame for Chantel’s payback, but she wouldn’t allow it.

  But I still couldn’t shake the guilt I felt.

  “When do you wanna watch the movie?” I asked Chase.

  “You tell me. Because you alone in a dark room is all the motivation I need.”

  “We actually have to get our paper written.”

  He rolled his eyes. “So demanding.”

  I bunched up a napkin and tossed it at his face.

  He laughed, the raspy sound burrowing into every crevice around my heart as he grabbed it from the table where it bounced.

  Oh, man. I was more far gone than I ever imagined.

  “So, she makes the soccer team and all of a sudden she thinks she can start ordering me around?” He tossed it back at me, but I caught it in the air.

  “Ordering you around?” I laughed. “Oh, the irony,”

  “Well, isn’t this nice.”

  Our eyes jumped to Chantel, standing beside our table with her hands dug into her hips.

  Her eyes moved to mine. “Just saw Valerie cleaning up leaves. I wonder what made her go all crunchy earthy these days?”

  I shoved back my chair, prepared to get in her face, but Chase grabbed my arm, stopping me from standing.

  Chantel’s eyes dropped to his hand on me. “Watch him. One minute he doesn’t have time for a relationship, the next he does. Seems like he doesn’t know what he wants.”

  I tried reining in the anger I felt toward her. How could she hurt Valerie the way she had? Especially since it was me she was really angry at. “How could you do that to her?”

  “Do what?” Chantel asked, all innocent and perplexed.

  Heat rushed to my cheeks. “Next time you want payback, I’m right here.” I jumped to my feet, this time too fast for Chase to stop me from standing. He grabbed my arm as I stood there, stopping me from touching her.

  Her eyes cut to Chase, ignoring me entirely. “I hope you haven’t slept with her yet. I’ll never take you back if you have.”

  “Take him back?” I said. “You’re as crazy as you are cruel.”

  “He likes the chase. You made it too easy. He’ll get bored.”

  “I’m sitting right here,” he said. “And you don’t know a thing about me and Sophia.”

  “You’re right. I don’t. Because I never thought the two of you would stab me in the back the way you have.” She spun away from us and marched out of the coffee house.

  I dropped back into my seat, my entire body trembling with anger.

  “Don’t let her get to you.”

  I scoffed. “Why’d you hang out with her for so long?”

  “I’m a guy. We do stupid stuff.”

  “Was it for the sex?”

  He tipped his head.

  “What? It’s a valid question.”

  His eyes drifted off, and I wondered if I’d made him angry for asking. “Chantel and I never had sex.”

  “Right.”

  His eyes moved back to mine. “I’m serious. We may have fooled around, but that was it.”

  “Like us?”

  “Nothing like us.”

  “What’s the difference?”

  He jerked a glance over his shoulder, taking in the busy coffee shop. “Are we really doing this here?”

  I shrugged. “Seems timely.”

  He released a breath. “You’re real. You’re honest. You like me for me and not what I look like standing next to you.”

  “Wellllll,” I teased, pretending the last one wasn’t entirely true.

  He laughed. “You know what I mean. I can be me with you and laugh with you. And I know you’re being the same with me.”

  I reached for the necklace he’d given me and slid my finger up and down the chain. He’d been right about Chantel and me. We couldn’t have been any more different.

  Thank God.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Chase’s name appeared on my screen as I walked back from my last class on Friday. I lifted my phone to my ear. “Hey.”

  “Soph?” The rushed tone of his voice told me something wasn’t right.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I need you to make me a promise.”

  My brows tugged together. “What?”

  “Do not go to the frat tonight.”

  I stopped in the middle of the path as students walked around me. “Why?”

  “I just need you to trust me.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay, you won’t go?” he confirmed.

  “You asked me not to go and to trust you. And I do.”

  Silence filled his end.

  “Chase?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you okay?”

  Silence.

  What the hell?

  “I will be,” he finally said. “I’ll call you later.”

  He had to know asking me not to do something was going to pique my curiosity. I needed more information than he’d given. But I’d do what he asked even if I didn’t understand it. “Okay.”

  “I love you, Soph.”

  My thoughts grinded to a halt as goosebumps scampered up my arms.

  “You there?”

  “Um…I’m here. I’m just…”

  “I just wanted to be sure it was said. I gotta go.” He disconnected the call and was gone.

  What. The. Hell?

  ***

  I lay on my bed staring up at the ceiling. I’d checked my phone a hundred times between the time Chase dropped the L word on me and now. I knew how I felt about him, but the L word was a huge step. Was he mad that I hadn’t said it back? Did he think I didn’t care about him the way he cared about me?

  My phone rang.

  I grabbed it without even checking the number. “Hello?”

  “So…ph…ia?”

  “Val?”

  “I ne…ed y…ou,” she slurred.

  I sat up. “Are you drunk?”

  “I th…ink some…thing was…in…my dr…ink.”

  Alarm bells wailed in my head. I jumped to my feet and shoved my feet into my shoes. “Where are you? I’m coming.”

  “Kap…pa Phiiii.”

  I stilled. Chase asked me not to go there tonight. “Is Chase there?”

  “I…dun…nooo.”

  “Ryan?”

  “Ya.”

  “Can you get to him?”

  Silence.

  “Val. I’ll be there as fast as I can. Stay on the line.” I threw open my door and ran down the hallway. I made it down the three flights of stairs in record time and flew outside. I held the phone to my ear as I jogged as quickly as I could across the dark campus. I knew I needed to call 9-1-1, but I couldn’t risk hanging up with Val. “Talk to me, Val. Who did this?”

  Silence.

  “Val?” I nearly screamed.

  “He...re.”

  I heaved a sigh of relief. “Do not go anywhere with anyone. You
scream if anyone tries to get you alone.”

  “I th…ink I’m in…. ’s...”

  “You cut out, Val. Where are you?”

  Silence.

  I turned the corner to the main road. I could see Kappa Sigma’s front porch and black shutters, now looking more ominous than ever before. “I’m almost there, honey, stay with me.”

  My lungs burned and my knee felt tight as I bolted up the walkway and threw open the front door. Music blared from the speakers on the main floor, pounding as fiercely as my heartbeat. People packed the hallway and rooms. My head whipped from side to side, seeking out Valerie, but I couldn’t find her among all the unfamiliar faces.

  I ran to the basement, stopping on the top step and scanning the faces of those who danced on the dance floor. I spotted Tina, but no Val.

  I turned and hurried to the main staircase leading up to the second floor. I took two steps at a time and threw open the first closed door on the right, barging in on a couple going at it on the bed. “Oops. Sorry.”

  I spun around and hurried across the hall, throwing open that closed door and barging in. The room was empty. I moved to the next room. My hand landed on the doorknob.

  “Police!” a voice shouted downstairs.

  Screams were accompanied by the shuffling of feet pounding on the floor beneath me. I ignored the noise and twisted the door handle. Locked. I pounded on the door. “Val! Are you in there?”

  Nothing.

  The noise on the main floor grew louder as people scrambled to exit the house and avoid the police. Ignoring the commotion, I moved to the room across the hall. I turned the handle and it too was locked. I pounded on the door. “Val, if you’re in there, yell!”

  I spotted Ryan’s room next door. I hurried to it, twisting the knob and pushing open the door.

  I froze. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and a cold chill rushed up my spine.

  Val lay on the bed completely naked with Ryan seated beside her, fully clothed.

  “Oh, thank God you’re here,” I said to him as I rushed over and threw a blanket from his chair over Valerie. “Someone drugged her.”

  He jumped up. “Oh. Yeah. That’s what I thought.”

  The pounding of footsteps on the staircase told me it was just a matter of time before the cops made it to us.

  “Do you know who did it?” I asked Ryan as I leaned over Valerie to be sure she was breathing. She was.

  “No idea.”

  “Did you call 9-1-1?”

  “Hands where I can see them!”

  Ryan spun around with his hands raised.

  “Thank God you’re here,” I said, my eyes cutting toward the door. “She’s been drug—” My words were cut off by the sight of Chase, in a black bulletproof vest, with a gun pointed at Ryan. His eyes were on mine and a thousand thoughts played across his face. Seconds felt like hours before he tore his eyes away from mine and spoke into the walkie on his shoulder. “We need a medic sent to the second floor.” He moved toward Ryan. “Turn around and put your hands behind your back.”

  “Fuck you,” Ryan spat.

  Chase whipped handcuffs off his belt and twisted Ryan around so his chest hit the wall.

  “I can’t believe you’re a fucking cop,” Ryan said.

  Chase grabbed Ryan’s wrists behind his back and snapped on the cuffs. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

  My eyes shot daggers at Chase. “What are you doing? Valerie was drugged and he helped her.”

  He glanced at me over his shoulder. “He’s the biggest dealer on campus.” He spun Ryan away from the wall so he faced the door. “I have a feeling he’s been drugging girls for quite some time.”

  My eyes shot to Ryan who kept his eyes down. “Did you do this?”

  He didn’t look at me or say anything.

  I jumped up and circled in front of him. “DID. YOU. DO. THIS. TO. HER?!?”

  He forced his eyes up. They were cold and detached.

  I lifted my hand and smacked him across the face, the thwack echoing through the room. I spun around and hurried back to Val, holding her hand and telling her it was gonna be all right as my entire body shook with fear, anger, and confusion.

  Two more officers entered the room.

  “Take him downstairs,” Chase told them.

  The taller officer grabbed Ryan by the arm and marched him out of the room.

  “Is the medic on his way?” Chase asked the other officer.

  The officer nodded before walking over to Valerie and checking her vitals.

  “Is she gonna be okay?” I asked him.

  “The EMTs will be here any second,” he said before leaving the room.

  “I told you not to be here,” Chase said through gritted teeth, his eyes burning into mine.

  “Why? So, you could keep lying to me?”

  “You have to know I couldn’t tell you,” he said.

  More officers entered the room with two EMTs.

  “What happened?” one of the EMTs asked me.

  “She was drugged. That’s all I know.”

  As they took her vitals, I searched the room for her clothes which were folded on Ryan’s dresser. I’d been in Valerie’s room enough times to know she never folded her clothes. That snake. My eyes welled up as I grabbed the clothes. “I’d like to go with her.”

  The EMTs nodded as they moved her onto a stretcher.

  I avoided Chase’s gaze as I moved out of the room by Valerie’s side. She needed me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Valerie’s heart monitor beeped monotonously as I sat in the chair beside her hospital bed. She’d been unconscious since we arrived, though the nurses assured me she’d be coming out of it soon. I checked my phone for the time. Three in the morning. And Chase still hadn’t called.

  I guess I wasn’t surprised.

  Nothing pertaining to him—or Ryan for that matter—could surprise me now.

  How had I been so blind?

  He hid a major part of his life, and I fell for his deceit—his facade—hook, line, and sinker. He must’ve thought I was so stupid. So naïve. Why hadn’t I believed Madame Rose when she said there were secrets being withheld from me? She even warned me about Chase and I didn’t believe her.

  Sitting at Valerie’s bedside had given me time to think. Time to replay every moment with Chase. Every interaction. Every promise he made to me. But none of it added up to anything real. Anything tangible I could grasp onto. It had all been a lie. A grand manipulation to bring down the college drug dealer.

  “Sophia?” Valerie whispered.

  “Val?” Though her eyes were barely cracked, I leaned in so she could see me. “Are you okay?”

  “Thank…you,” she whispered.

  “I’m just happy you’re awake. Let me get the nurse.”

  “I’m so tired. I just need to sleep.”

  “Sleep. I’ll be right here. I promise. You can’t get rid of me even if you try.”

  “BFF,” she whispered.

  Tears glossed my vision. “Sleep.”

  The soft purrs leaving her told me she’d already fallen asleep.

  I stood from my chair and walked out into the hallway. The sterile bleach stench hit me as I walked to the nurse’s station.

  The nurse on duty glanced up from her computer station.

  “Valerie just woke up.”

  “Is she in any pain?”

  “She said she was tired and then fell back asleep.”

  “Then let her sleep. Her body needs it.”

  I nodded.

  “I’ll come check on her in a little bit,” she assured me.

  “Thank you.” I returned to Valerie’s room and dropped into the hard chair I’d been in since arriving. The intensity of the night, mixed with the emptiness occupying my chest, was too much for me to handle. I curled into a ball in the chair and rested my head on my knees. I closed my eyes and prayed that sleep would pull me under. And maybe then, after I woke up, I’d find
it was all just a terrible dream.

  ***

  “Sophia?”

  My head jolted up. My eyes whipped around, trying to grasp where I was. White walls. Beeping machines. Valerie in a hospital bed. Dammit. “Are you okay?” I asked, my groggy voice sounding nothing like my own.

  “I think so,” she said. “What happened?”

  “You were drugged.”

  She nodded. “I know. I called you, but then I don’t know how I got here.”

  “An ambulance.”

  “Did everyone see?” she cringed, clearly embarrassed by the idea of being taken out of a party on a stretcher.

  “The cops pretty much cleared the house before you were even taken out.”

  “The party got broken up?”

  With a deep exhalation, I nodded. “Something like that. Do you know who drugged you?”

  She shook her head.

  “The cops think it was Ryan.”

  Her lips twisted regrettably, as her eyes dropped away from mine. “I had a bad feeling.”

  I shook my head, so blindsided by the news and angry that I hadn’t hit him harder. “He was alone with you in his room.”

  She gasped.

  “I’m pretty sure I got there before anything happened.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes.

  “Oh, Val. Don’t cry. You’re safe. He got arrested.”

  “He did?”

  I nodded. “Chase arrested him.”

  Her face fell. “Oh my God, what?”

  A nurse walked in. “You’re up,” she said with a smile, pulling our attention from one another. “How’s the head?” she asked as she checked Valerie’s monitors.

  “Banging like a drum,” Valerie admitted.

  “That’s to be expected.” She frowned. “I’m going to have to administer a rape kit on you.”

  Valerie quickly looked to me.

  I nodded. “You need to, Val. Just to confirm what we already know. Nothing happened.”

  “Okay,” she said to the nurse.

  “And,” the nurse hesitated, not wanting to say what she clearly had to say. “There are two officers here who’d like to speak to you.”

  Unexpected dread crept into my body.

  “Would it be okay if I let them in?” she asked. “Or do you want me to tell them to come back later?”

  Valerie’s eyes cut to mine again in question.