She was explaining her actions from the other night, telling me the reason she’d lost it in the back room. I wished I could tell her it wasn’t needed. That she didn’t need to explain herself to me because I was more fucked up than anyone. But for some reason, I didn’t want her to know that. I wanted her to go on looking at me like the hard piece of stone her hand rested on.
Unbreakable.
Tuesday
Feeling like an idiot, I closed my eyes and chewed my inner cheek. He was my contractor, and here I was spilling my guts as if he were my best friend. I turned away and pressed my hand against another display. “What do you think of this one?”
I wished I could retrace my steps and start over again—but the words were already out there, floating in the air like a cloud of vulnerability.
Wanting to apologize, excuse him from having to respond to my silly admissions, I turned around, but he was right behind me.
“I like it.” His voice was soft, deep, textured—so close—and made me forget what I was going to say.
I stared at his chest, just inches from my face. “Like what?”
“The tile.”
“Yeah, it’s nice, isn’t it?”
He didn’t speak, he didn’t move, and I finally built up the nerve to look up again. “I’m sorry―”
But he shook his head, stopping my words. “We all have our shit, Tuesday. You don’t have to explain yours to me.”
My throat went dry, and I swallowed to clear it. The understanding in his voice was almost my undoing. “Even so,”—I looked down—“I’m sure you weren’t asking for my life story.”
“What makes you say that?”
I looked up again, finding he watched me, his expression so serious it made my breath quicken.
“I liked hearing about your life. It actually cleared up a few things.”
I furrowed my brow. “Like what?”
He lifted the strand of feathers in my hair and rubbed them between his calloused fingers. “Like these.”
I backed away, my breath coming harder, faster, but my eyes betrayed me and came to rest on his mouth. “They’re supposed to keep me calm,” I whispered. “But they aren’t working. They haven’t been working for weeks…”
He stepped closer, his hand resting on the wall of the display behind me.
I looked up into his eyes. Eyes that were so deep I could see my own reflection. “What are you doing?”
His body leaned toward me, his breath lingering a little too close. “Something I shouldn't.”
My throat hitched, and I knew I should step away, but his mouth, his beautiful mouth settled on mine. Firm, like the pressure to an open wound. A wound I didn’t even know was bleeding. But in an instant, his lips, warm and seductive, soothed a part of me.
All evidence of thought left me as I stood there. His arms caged me in on either side of my body, his chest so close I could feel his heat, but our lips the only things touching. I wanted to grab hold of his t-shirt and pull him closer, to lose myself completely in this intoxicating man. Then his tongue, whisper soft, brushed across my lips. Sexy, inviting, and completely irresistible. My whole being surrendered to his request. My mouth, body, even my throat let out a soft groan of submission. All I could do was focus on the taste of him. The smell of him. More enticing and erotic than the most potent pheromone. I didn’t care that we were in the middle of the aisle, or that someone could walk by at any moment. I was wanton with my desires, and couldn’t care less what people thought of me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and lifted up on my toes. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could feel it, but I didn’t care. I’d wanted his lips from the moment I met him, had dreams about them, yet their reality was so much sweeter.
My hands traveled to the back of his head, to the baby soft skin of his jaw, and I held his face between my hands. This man, a man I had no reason to care about, was seducing the panties right off me in the middle of the hardware store. And he hadn’t even tried to touch me.
I moved closer, wanting to press my body against his, but his hands came up between us, holding me back. His lips pulled from mine and his head fell back to his shoulders. “Fuck!”
I stilled, my heart running harder and faster than it had in a long time, and I turned away. “That shouldn’t have happened. This can never happen again.” My words were soft, staggered between gasps of air. I took a couple of steps, needed to put some distance between us, needed some time to clear my head so I could think.
“Tuesday, I didn’t mean―”
“Don’t.” I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want excuses, I didn’t want to hear that he was sorry. All I wanted was to pick some tile and get the hell out of there.
I turned toward the white distressed wood where he’d kissed me. A kiss that put every other kiss in my life to shame. A kiss that I would remember the rest of my life. I lifted my chin toward the display before I turned around. “I want that one,” I whispered, then wrapped my arms around my waist, and turned to leave. “I’ll go wait in the truck.”
I sat in front of my pickup, fingers running over my mouth where the memory of his kiss still lingered. It had been five whole minutes since our lips parted, yet I was more turned on than ever. His kiss was perfect. His mouth demanding, rough, passionate, yet soft and coaxing at the same time.
I didn’t know what I would have done had he not pulled away. I was lost, almost certain I would have let him take me on the concrete slab of the warehouse floor. But his mouth, his tongue, they moved with mine, giving me what I needed, exactly where I needed them. A piece of me wished he would come out here and kiss me again. I pressed my head against the upholstery of the seat. Why did he have to work for me? Why did he have to kiss so damned good?
The passenger door opened, and I instantly straightened, barely glancing over to ensure it was John before twisting the key in the ignition to start my truck.
“Where’s the flooring?” I asked, keeping my eyes fixed on the steering wheel.
The engine sputtered and groaned, not wanting to cooperate, so I turned the key harder, giving it a little nudge with the gas pedal.
“It’s being delivered tomorrow.”
“Oh,” I said, giving the engine a bit more gas, causing it to roll more but produce nothing. “Shit!” I slammed my hand hard on the steering wheel then tried again, but John’s hand covered mine, preventing me from trying again.
“Give it a second, or you’ll flood the engine.”
I snatched my hand away and turned to the window, frustrated by how quickly his touch affected me. But he was right. I was pushing the engine too hard, too fast. If I didn’t give it the time it needed, we’d end up stranded here all day, and that was something I couldn’t handle. I began to count. One, two, three, four—
“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice was gruff, flat, filled with an edge that cut into my heart.
He sounded pissed off, but I had no idea why. How could he possibly be upset? Because I gave him what he wanted? What a dozen women did on a weekly basis? Because I’d lost myself and looked like a fool? “No, I don’t.” I picked at a nick in the steering wheel with my finger.
“Suit yourself,” he muttered.
I looked over at him, to his eyes fixed out the front window. “How can you possibly be mad at me? I didn’t kiss you, you kissed me, remember?”
His eyes never wavered from the window as he shook his head. “I’m not mad at you.”
“You could have fooled me.”
“I’m pissed at myself!” He turned toward me. “I’m pissed because I should be able to resist you, but I can’t. I’ve wanted you since the moment I met you, and I caved—that’s it. It won’t happen again.”
My heart picked up speed, causing my chest to tighten with uncertainty, but I didn’t blink. I didn’t know what to say. Knowing he wanted me too, scared me to death. “You’re right.” I moistened my lips and forced myself to look away. “It won’t
.” I turned the key in the ignition, and my truck roared to life. I took my phone from the center console, programmed the shop into navigation, and waited for Siri’s voice to fill the cab. I didn’t say a word the whole way back to Simply Tuesday’s, and neither did he.
Chapter SIXTEEN
John
“What’s wrong with you?” Lisa whispered, poking me in the ribs as I took another scoop of potato salad from the bar. The rest of the family was already seated in the dining room, and only Lisa and I lingered behind in the kitchen.
I continued filling my plate, ignoring her question before heading to the dining room to join the others. My mind had been consumed all afternoon by what happened with Tuesday. I shouldn’t have kissed her. I knew I shouldn’t have kissed her, but damn, I wanted to do it again. She was so responsive, so real… so damned sweet!
Lisa sat down on my other side and plopped her plate on the table. “You’re hiding something,” she whispered. “You’ve been moody since you walked through the door. I haven’t seen you like this since Tabetha Swanson.”
My brows furrowed and I pulled back to look at her. “You mean from second grade?”
“Yeah. From second grade.” She laughed. “That’s how ridiculous you’re being.”
I took a forkful of steak and shoved it in my mouth. “Thanks, sis. Love you too.”
“I’m not trying to be a nag. I just worry about you.” She leaned forward, her hand touching my shoulder as she whispered, “It’s not the letter is it? Because you have no control over that, you know that, right?”
I glanced down at the table at my parents. For the first time all week, I hadn’t thought about the letter. Somehow, the one thing that had consumed my thoughts for seven days was replaced with Tuesday in a single afternoon. Her lips, her smile, the way she looked so damned cute in those overalls.
I turned back to Lisa and rested my forehead on one elbow. “Have you ever told a guy no, when you really meant yes?”
She choked on her glass of tea and raised a brow. “No, John.” She laughed. “No means no. Always. Why the hell did you ask that question?”
I scratched the back of my neck then jabbed another piece of steak with my fork. “That’s not what I meant.” I took a bite. “You know what, never mind.”
She quickly sobered then wiped her mouth with her napkin. “I’m sorry, that was shitty of me. Are you okay? Did something happen?”
I knew I shouldn’t say another word, but for some reason, the words still poured right out of me. “I kissed the woman I’m working for today.”
Lisa took in a sharp breath and moved closer. “What? Your boss?”
My brows furrowed and I made a face. “No, she’s not my boss. Jake’s my boss. She just… hired us. It’s different.”
She made a motion of dismissal with her hands. “Doesn’t matter. What matters is…” Her voice softened even further. “You kissed your boss.”
I rolled my eyes as Penny leaned across the back of my chair to talk to Lisa. “What are you guys talking about?” she whispered.
“John kissed his boss,” Lisa whispered back.
“What!” she whisper-yelled. “When did this happen?”
I closed my eyes. I shouldn’t have said anything. I REALLY shouldn’t have said anything.
“He wants to know if no sometimes means yes.”
Penny hit my arm. “No always means no, John. Have we not taught you anything?”
I shoved back from the table and rose from my seat. “You know what, I’m suddenly not hungry.”
Lisa grabbed my arm, trying to get me to stay, but I shook her off and picked my plate up from the table. Mom glanced up from her conversation with my niece Ashley and eyed me warily. I looked away and walked out of the room.
I placed my plate on the counter and raked both hands through my hair. Normally I had no problem shaking off their teasing, but for some reason, I couldn’t find the humor in the situation. I promised Tuesday I would never kiss her again, but it was a promise I wasn’t sure I could fulfill. Not when she looked at me like that, when she smiled like that…
Lisa came from behind me a minute later and put one hand on my shoulder. “You know I love you, right?”
I laughed and shook my head. “You have the worst possible way of showing it.”
She hugged me at my side and rested her head on my upper arm. “You really like this one, don’t you?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, suddenly having a headache. “Fuck—I don’t know.”
She swallowed, and I could tell she was a bit emotional, but she laughed at the same time. “You do. Come to think of it, I haven’t heard you talk about anyone like this in I don’t know how long.”
I nodded, knowing she was right—but relationships were hard for me. They required trust, and that was something I gave only a handful of people in my life. If I couldn’t trust her… I sighed heavily. “It doesn’t matter anyway. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
Lisa moved to lean against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. “What happened?”
I glanced over, knowing I was making a mistake, but I told her everything. But I didn’t stop at this afternoon. I told her about our altercation with the jumper cables, the night we first met. About our heated conversation when she found out I was her project manager… about her breaking down in the back room.
“And today…” She paused and tilted her head. “She kissed you back?”
I leaned my head on my shoulders and blew out a breath. “Yeah.”
She turned to stand in front of me, her face intense and serious. “Are you sure?”
I made a face. “Yes, Lisa, I’m sure. She’s not the first woman I’ve kissed.”
“I know that, John.” She moved to lean against the counter again and was silent a moment. “So I take it back.”
I lifted one brow and looked over at her. “Take what back?”
She cleared her throat and chewed her bottom lip. “I think in this case, ‘no’ might actually mean, ‘convince me’.”
Tuesday
I tipped my head up, glancing to the solid brown door that replaced the plastic I’d become accustomed to. It was only the second day since the switch, when the crew moved to work on the back room, and the shop became mine for the taking. But even though the product floor had turned out more beautiful than I could have ever imagined, my enjoyment was minimal because my thoughts were forever consumed with John.
We didn’t speak the rest of the way home that day. Actually, we still hadn’t spoken since our conversation in the truck. I knew it was probably for the best. We had four more weeks left to tolerate each other, and when he was gone, life would continue on like every other day before him. But for some reason, my stomach twisted in knots every time I thought about it. Thought about how honest he looked the moment he told me he wanted me. Thought about the possibility of never seeing him again.
I turned back to the box of lotion I’d been working on, determined not to obsess for a second longer, and climbed up another step on the ladder. The herbal scent of rosemary and lavender hit my nose, and I looked to the moss-covered basket that hung from the ceiling —one of four that graced each corner of the room. Everything was crisp and clean, the perfect offset for the rustic brown paper of the Simply Tuesday’s packaging. Exactly what I’d wanted. So why wasn’t I happy?
My head sagged a little as I pulled a bottle of lotion from the box. My heart knew the reason, even though my mind was having a hard time keeping up. The kiss from John made me realize I’d been selling myself short for a long time. Possibly my whole life. His kiss brought to life the feelings that came with fairy tales, romance novels, and dreams of little girls. Something I’d convinced myself didn’t exist. So why did it have to come from a man I knew couldn’t give me a happy ending? A man who was a player, one who had multiple women in a single night?
I placed the bottle of lotion firmly on the shelf and hastily grabbed another. It slipped from my ha
nd, landed on the step of the ladder, and then finally hit the hardwood floor with a thud.
“You okay?” Becky asked, startling me from my thoughts.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I climbed down the steps and snatched the bottle of lotion from the white distressed flooring. The fucking floor where he’d kissed me. “Damn it!” It had been three days since his mouth had been on mine, yet my lips still burned from the touch.
Becky sat on the other side of the room on the floor, her brows knit together as she peered at me. “You sure?”
I forced a smile. “Yeah.” But my insides twinged with guilt from not telling her what was going on. In the twenty years we’d known each other, John was the first man I’d ever kissed that she didn’t know about.
“What should I do next?” she asked, and I glanced over my shoulder before climbing up the ladder again.
“How about the cold-pressed soaps? There are a couple of cases over in the corner.”
She nodded and pushed herself off the floor.
It felt wrong keeping secrets from Becky, but at the same time, I didn’t want the questions. Not while John still worked under the same roof. I’d eventually tell her as I always did. I just wanted to do it when he was a safe distance away, so she didn’t fill my thoughts with dreams.
She grabbed a box from the corner and carried it over to the two-tiered display in the center of the shop. “Anyone coming to interview today?”
I turned my back to her and began stacking lotions on the highest shelf. “The lady who does placenta encapsulations. She’s coming at noon.”
Becky made a gagging noise behind me and I grinned.
“That’s so gross, Tuesday. Why would people do that?”
I laughed, finally finding the comic relief I needed, and looked over my shoulder, but my eyes locked on John standing in the doorway.
I instantly sobered. My heart flip-flopped in my chest, and I forced my eyes over to Becky. “They help replenish the mother’s hormones after birth.” My voice was flat, my cheeks incredibly heated, and I hadn’t realized until that moment, but I’d missed him. I knew nothing about him, but seeing his face just now was like breathing air for the first time after a long tunnel… and having your wish come true.
Waiting for Tuesday: Suspicious Hearts Book Two Page 10