They drove for a few more minutes, neither of them talking. Hazel turned up the radio.
‘Welcome to two hours of non-stop alternative rock!’
‘Pictures of You’ started to play.
‘Oh god,’ said Barry. ‘That was her favourite song, wasn’t it?’
‘Um… I dunno,’ said Hazel.
‘It was,’ he said. ‘I remember her saying it before. What if it’s her way of telling us something… letting us know that we won’t get away with it?’
‘Listen to yourself, Barry. I’ve never heard anything more ridiculous in my life.’
‘Yeah,’ he said, taking a deep breath. ‘You’re right. Sorry, babe, this whole thing is making me go insane.’
‘It’s OK,’ she said, rubbing his arm. ‘Don’t worry, it’s nearly over.’
He opened the door.
‘Don’t forget this,’ said Hazel, handing him the balaclava. He pulled it on over his head and got out of the car.
Hazel quickly turned off the radio.
I woke up shaking and sweating, but an enormous relief came over me. I knew what I had to do. I had to tell the Gardai everything I knew. After I’d done that I wouldn’t be dreaming about her any more.
The next day I found myself once again walking down Grafton Street on a Sunday morning. I still hadn’t heard from Nick – or Colin, who was obviously still furious at me for our last fight. He was going to New York soon so it would be even longer before we spoke… if he ever planned to speak to me again. At least I was beginning to feel OK about Nick though. Hannah had been right – things had started to become gradually more and more normal again. And more and more, my thoughts kept turning back to Dillon. I smiled – would he really wait those eighty-four days? I wasn’t so sure, but it made me happy thinking about the fun we’d had.
Because I’d spent the last day of term at Electric magazine and not in class, I had to keep reminding myself that school was actually over, that I was free for the rest of the summer. I planned to spend my first days of freedom doing nothing at all. After the stress of the past few weeks I was looking forward to relaxing.
It had been really hard confronting Matt Lawlor and handing him the disc with the photograph. He knew what was on it before he’d even opened it. I could see the shame in his eyes.
‘You’ve done the right thing, Jacki,’ he said. ‘I’m so sorry that I let you down like this, but you see now why I needed you on this case. It wasn’t just your incredible psychic sense that let you see things no one else could, but your impartiality also meant that you would see this through – even when I couldn’t. I’d begun to have my suspicions about Hazel. I had a feeling that she might be covering up for somebody, but I couldn’t do anything, not when I’d been involved with her. I’m going to tell the team everything now. I’m going to make this right.’
I’d left devastated. In some ways Hazel had won – Detective Sergeant Lawlor would probably lose his job, even though by confessing, he thought they might be able to save the case and secure a conviction that would send her to prison where she belonged. If he did, then that would probably mean the end of me working on the operation. I felt so sorry for him – I knew he hadn’t meant for this to happen. I thought it incredibly careless that he had got involved with Kayla’s half-sister, but I didn’t want him to lose his career over it. And although my time working on this case had been stressful and dangerous, I hated to think that this was the end.
And so I had absolutely no idea why Matt had texted, asking me to meet him in Ming’s today. He couldn’t want to go over everything again, surely? Maybe he had been officially let go from the Gardai now and wanted to tell me in person. Something didn’t quite add up though.
I arrived at the window of the restaurant and saw the three of them sitting inside, all wearing suits. Matt’s collar was unbuttoned and he looked scruffy and unshaven. Sergeant Ray Harte looked tired and Detective Sergeant Tony Lonergan just looked annoyed.
Matt was the first to spot me. I tried to read his face for clues, for a sign as to how he thought this meeting might unfold, but he wasn’t giving anything away. I tried to stay positive – I really hoped Hazel wasn’t going to win. I held the handle of my satchel a little tighter, then headed inside. Just like last time, there was nobody else there – it was only the four of us. I ordered a hot chocolate and joined them.
‘Hello,’ said Matt as I sat down at the table, giving me a meek smile. Ray nodded amicably in my direction.
‘Hello, Jacki,’ said Tony. ‘Glad you could make it.’
Maybe I’d imagined it, but his voice actually sounded sincere.
We sat in silence for a few minutes and I wondered what they were waiting for. Then the waitress came over and placed my drink in front of me, and I realized they were making sure we weren’t overheard. As soon as she’d left, Tony started to speak.
‘I’m sure I don’t need to explain to any of you the seriousness of the situation,’ he said.
Matt stared into his cup of coffee.
‘It’s very unfortunate,’ Tony continued. ‘But it doesn’t have to destroy this operation. I’ve decided that it will go no further. From now on, that photo doesn’t exist. Ray will take care of it.’
I looked over at Matt. He nodded. It was obvious he had been told this before, but was still too deeply ashamed to be properly happy. I couldn’t believe it. Detective Sergeant Lonergan had decided to help keep him on the team.
‘We need you to agree that this will go no further, Jacki. The case and the integrity of this operation depends on it.’
‘Of course!’ I stammered.
‘Then I also owe you an apology for doubting the very special skills you brought to this case.’
‘Thank you.’ I hadn’t expected that at all. Matt looked at me proudly from the other side of the table. ‘Does this mean you’re going to arrest Hazel, Barry and Libby?’ I asked quietly.
‘Yes,’ answered Ray. ‘Libby will be charged with manslaughter, and Hazel and Barry are accessories after the fact because they helped cover up the crime. That’s also a very serious offence.’
I was so relieved. It felt like such a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I took a sip from my hot chocolate.
‘Right, we better get to work,’ said Tony. He and Ray stood up to leave, but Matt stayed.
‘Detective Sergeant Lawlor has one last thing to give to you regarding the case, Jacki.’
They left, and it was just me and Matt. I looked at him, confused. Why would I need any more information from the case? It was all closed now, wasn’t it? At least I hoped it was.
He leaned down to a bag that was sitting next to his chair and pulled out a brown envelope. ‘There was a thousand-euro reward attached to the case for information,’ he said. ‘We want you to have it – you saved it for everyone, after all.’
‘That’s not why I took on the case, Matt. I didn’t even know that a reward existed – you must know that.’ It didn’t feel right to take the money.
Matt finished his cup of tea. ‘You know,’ he said, ‘when I first heard about you, I knew you were something special. I had a feeling that you’d be perfect for this operation. Tony thought I was mad, but I was determined to prove him wrong. You deserve this, Jacki. Take it – and welcome to the team.’
I hesitated. I felt that maybe it was tainted, that whatever I used it for would only bring trouble.
‘Think what you could buy with it,’ said Matt. ‘Is there nothing you really want?’
And then it hit me. There was something I really wanted, or rather, something I really wanted to do.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘I accept. Thank you.’
I drank the last of my hot chocolate. ‘So… what’s next?’ I asked.
‘Well, you know that serial killer? The one who everybody thinks murdered Kayla?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Except we know he didn’t.’
‘He didn’t kill Kayla,’ said Matt, ‘but he may be connected to some of the ot
her cases.’
A shiver shot down my spine. The thought that there was actually a serial killer out there, kidnapping women, was almost too frightening to consider.
‘Is he still abducting people?’ I asked. ‘Do you think he could strike again?’
‘Let’s just say, the sooner we catch him, the better,’ Matt replied. ‘I’ll sleep better knowing he’s off the streets.’
A family came into the diner and ordered milkshakes, the youngest daughter trying to jump up on her dad’s back.
‘Do you have any idea where he’s from?’ I whispered. ‘Why he’s doing it?’
‘We can’t talk about it here,’ said Matt. ‘But I’ll be in touch. Very soon.’
‘OK,’ I said, standing up to leave. ‘I’m looking forward to it.’
I rushed out of Ming’s. The sun was shining now and I took off my cardigan and stuffed it in my bag. I ran up Grafton Street and just barely made it on to the tram, the door closing shut right behind me. It seemed to take forever. I willed it to go faster, checking my watch every few moments and watching the seconds ticking down. I got off at my stop and ran all the way to Gran’s.
I checked the flight online and ONLY TWO SEATS LEFT flashed up on the screen. I’d have to hurry. I rushed up the stairs, found my suitcase and threw my stuff into it. I tried to remember all the essentials: phone, passport, charger, hair straightener, eyeliner… I sat on the suitcase and zipped it shut. The flight was leaving in less than four hours, so I had to hurry.
I left a note for Gran, explaining where I was going, then rushed out of the house and hailed a taxi. For a split second I hesitated, thinking about how much it would cost, but then I remembered it didn’t matter. I had a giant wad of money in my handbag.
I called Mum from the taxi, just because my life wouldn’t be worth living if I left the country without telling her. I called Colin, but his phone was turned off. I checked my watch and wished for the traffic to move more quickly.
Chapter 26
The airport was pretty busy and there were lots of people milling around the departure lounge. Some wore sun hats and bright colours and others smart business suits and serious expressions. I wove through a big group of kids in matching yellow tracksuits, then checked in my suitcase.
‘Did you pack this yourself?’
I nodded, remembering the scramble to get everything ready. I wasn’t even sure what was in it. I’d packed so quickly it was a complete mess. The envelope with the three remaining photographs was in there though, I was certain of that. It might have been weird to bring it on holiday, but it didn’t feel right to leave it behind. It was almost overwhelming to think that I still had to help another three missing women, not to mention the fact that Matt thought a serial killer might be involved. But I was looking forward to it. Like Ger had said, a unique path had been chosen for me. I knew the journey wasn’t over yet.
As I joined the queue for security, I realized how relieved I was to be leaving Ireland, even if it was just for a little while. I was sure there would be huge interest surrounding Libby and Hazel’s arrests, and I was glad I wouldn’t be there for it. Even thinking about Hazel made me feel sick, so I definitely didn’t want to see her face every time I turned on my TV. There was something wrong with that girl, something seriously wrong. I shuddered as I remembered sitting across from her in the bar, the indifference in her eyes as she told me everything. I didn’t regret it though. Kayla had moved on, she’d found peace – that was the most important thing.
I reached the top of the queue, took off my shoes and put them in the grey box along with my handbag and jewellery and the spare change from my pocket, then placed them on the security belt.
I looked up at the screen. GO TO GATE 406 flashed beside my flight number. As I walked through the metal detector, I actually started to get excited. I’d been so busy just trying to get to the airport that it hadn’t really sunk in before. I was going to New York City. A magnet for songwriting genius, the birthplace of punk rock, home of the Chelsea Hotel. I’d always imagined it as an incredibly cool place, where the music is loud and the lights are bright and anything is possible. And I was going there with my best friend in the world, even if he didn’t know it yet. Luckily Colin had kept emailing me updates of the travel arrangements over the last few months, in the hope that I would eventually cave, so I knew we were going to be on the same flight.
I picked up my stuff, put my shoes back on and headed for the gate. As I power-walked down the corridor, fear started to mix in with my excitement. What if Colin was still mad at me? I wouldn’t be surprised if he was. If so, it was going to be a very long trip.
‘Enjoy your flight!’ said the attendant as she took my boarding pass. I couldn’t believe I’d actually made it. Against all odds I was on my way – I was going to be at Lydia’s wedding after all. How had I thought that hanging around Avarna with Nick all summer would be better than that?
I walked up the aisle, looking out for Colin. I could hear his parents chatting, and then I saw Colin’s bright red hair in the seat behind them, about halfway up the plane. I was so happy to be there, but I was also scared. I really wasn’t sure what his reaction was going to be. I took my handbag off my shoulder and walked slowly towards his seat. I opened the hand-luggage compartment above his head, but he didn’t look up, he was too busy talking to the woman sitting next to him.
‘You see, I always try to be positive,’ he said, sounding deflated. ‘And although she’s not even talking to me any more, I really thought it would work out. I felt it, you know? I was so sure.’
I put my bag in the compartment, moving a jacket aside so that it would fit. Colin kept talking to the woman, who was trying to read her in-flight magazine.
‘Sometimes you put stuff out into the universe and it doesn’t happen for a reason. Like, there’s an actual explanation for it, and that’s OK. But I was so sure she would be coming to New York. What’s good about your best friend not coming to New York? How is that meant to be?’
The woman shrugged. At least it sounded like I hadn’t done irreparable damage. If he was still describing me as his best friend, then maybe he’d forgiven me.
‘I mean, I would have bet my life on it.’ Colin went silent for a few seconds. ‘Oh my god,’ he said. ‘I’m pretty sure I said that at some stage. I actually said I’d bet my life on it. Is there any way to take that back?’
‘I’m sure you’ll be fine,’ said the woman, her tone suggesting she deeply regretted her choice of seat.
‘I bet my life on it,’ said Colin, getting even more agitated. ‘And now I’m going on a transatlantic flight… Oh my god…’
‘Your life jacket’s under your seat,’ I said.
Colin turned round slowly, spotted me and then shrieked.
‘Jacki!’
He clambered out past the woman and threw his arms round me.
‘How did you… But where did you… I don’t understand!’
‘I came into some money,’ I said, when he loosened his grip. ‘Unexpectedly.’
‘So you’re coming then? You’re actually coming to New York?’
‘Yep.’
‘This is so exciting! I knew it. I knew you’d make it!’
‘Would you like to swap seats with me?’ said the woman, who must have had enough of Colin’s dramatics.
‘Oh, cool, thanks,’ I said.
She smiled at me and I showed her where my seat was, then I sat down next to Colin.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I said. ‘I’m so sorry for what I said.’
I hated remembering that night. I was so ashamed of how I’d acted.
‘It’s OK,’ he said. ‘People say things they regret when they’re angry. I’m sorry too.’
I was so relieved, so glad that Colin wasn’t going to hold it against me. As I sat beside him now, it was like we’d never even had the fight. That was the great thing about best friends, you could just go back to the way things were before. It wasn’t that easy with boyfriends
. You gave them something else, a part of yourself that you didn’t give to other people, a part that wasn’t so easy to repair when it had been taken for granted.
‘How’s James?’ I said hesitantly.
‘He’s good,’ said Colin. ‘We’re still not officially going out, but I don’t mind.’
I could tell he did mind, but I didn’t dare say anything about it. I wasn’t going to risk upsetting him again.
‘How did you afford the ticket?’ asked Colin. ‘Where did you get the money?’
‘The Gardai,’ I said.
‘So you solved Kayla’s murder?’
‘Yeah… it was Libby,’ I whispered. ‘Hazel helped her cover it up.’
‘What the f-’
‘I know, it’s crazy. And it gets crazier. But I can’t really talk about it here.’
‘OK,’ he said. ‘Let’s talk about New York!’
‘Welcome to Aer Lingus flight EI105…’
The seat-belt sign came on and I clipped mine closed. As Colin happily listed off all the galleries he wanted to visit, I took my phone out to turn it off. There were two messages. The first one was from Nick. My heart started to beat rapidly. It said,
I need to talk to you.
I quickly texted him back.
About what?
I need to talk to you in person, can we meet up soon? he texted back.
I saw the flight attendant coming down the aisle of the plane, her eyes on my phone. I realized I only had time to do one more thing – reply to Nick or read Dillon’s text.
I smiled, instinctively knowing what I wanted to do – and pressed the button.
82 days and counting.
I smiled again as the flight attendant arrived at my side.
‘Sorry, miss, you’re going to have to turn off your phone,’ she said.
‘Jeez, Jacki, turn off your phone!’ said Colin. ‘You know I’m a nervous flyer!’
The plane began to move down the runway. Colin started humming ‘New York, New York’ and I hummed along with him. I was going to stop thinking about boys and I was going to stop analysing everything. I’d concentrate on music and Operation Trail and I’d have lots of fun at the wedding. Maybe it was for the best anyway, the fact that I couldn’t reply to Nick now. I’d waited a whole week for that message; he could wait a few hours for my response. Dillon’s text had made me happy and I deserved that after everything that had happened. I didn’t know if he’d be able to hang on for seventy-nine more days – perhaps I’d lose my chance. But I wasn’t going to think about that.
Eighteen Kisses Page 17