'Sssh. It's okay.' I take him back in my hand. After thirty seconds I make a big show of looking at the clock.
'Just give me a minute.' Harry grabs his own prick. He closes his eyes and starts tugging it.
I don't need to blindfold him after all. I send a text.
Riiiiiiinggg. My mobile phone sings away in my jacket pocket. The ringtone It's a Small, Small World blares out.
Harry's eyes shoot open. His penis drops from his hand. He watches as I answer my phone.
'Stella,' I shout. 'Hi honey. I'm missing you.'
I wait as Stella tells me she hopes it's all going to plan.
'Of course I can chat. No I'm not doing anything. I was just watching Frozen again. Olaf's nearly wilted, I mean melted.'
I look at Harry and point to my phone. 'I'm going to chat to Stella.' I point to his penis. 'It's probably the alcohol.' Then I stroke it with my hand and look at it like it's a dog looking to be adopted. 'Poor thing.'
'Another night. I promise, Ronnie. I'm not usually—'
I've already waved at him and left the room. I go down the corridor to my own room and relay the whole story to Stella, The Queen of Mean. Then I put the phone down and sit back on my bed. I take a deep breath and then seemingly out of nowhere tears start. I'm not sure whether they are the result of relief or sadness.
Thursday 12 June 2014
The next morning I shuffle into the kitchen and make out I have a really bad head.
Harry shirks in. He can hardly make eye contact.
'Hazza. Did I watch a bit of Frozen last night? Only I woke up wearing my Tiara.'
He looks up. 'What do you remember?'
'I remember going upstairs to get changed and feeling really, really pissed, then not much. I keep getting flashbacks of Let it Go and for some reason, skinny hotdog sausages.'
He strokes his fringe back. 'Yeah, we watched a bit of Frozen and then I made us hot dogs to soak up the booze. You said you were going upstairs and I didn't see you after that. I checked in to make sure you were okay and could hear you snoring.'
'Oh. That's alright then.'
He nods. 'You got a hangover then?'
'Yeah. Sorry for disappearing. I was as pissed as a fart obviously.'
'So you can't remember anything else?'
'Like what?'
'Just… general conversation.'
'No. If you told me anything important, you'll probably have to say it again. It's like I've got amnesia.'
'Well OK magazine is popping over this morning. Do you remember me asking if you'd be in the pictures?'
'Not really, but yes, that'll be fine.'
Harry looks relieved. 'Great. They should be here soon.'
Sure enough an hour later Lulu and the team arrive. She gives me a hug. 'Good to see you again, Ronnie. Sorry about what's been happening with you lately.'
'Oh I'm picking myself up. You have to, don't you? Life goes on.'
Harry comes up and puts his arms around me. 'I'm looking after her. You're enjoying being here with me aren't you?'
'It's been good fun. You're a great friend.'
Lulu looks over from Harry to me. 'I was under the impression you were a couple?'
I burst out laughing. 'Us? A couple? Oh, hahahahahahahahaha.' I punch Harry on the arm, wincing as I hit pure muscle. 'Harry. Us. A couple. Hahahahahaha.'
Harry's smile wavers. ''We've been friends, but I feel we're getting closer. Living with Ronnie has surprised me. Who'd have ever considered Harry Taylor actually living with a woman?'
'Why, do you normally live with men?' I ask.
Lulu scribbles in her notebook.
'No, no. Ronnie. You like living with me don't you?'
'It's been fab, Hazza. You've been very kind. It's helped me cope with the end of my relationship, and now I'm ready to move on.'
'Move on?' Harry looks shocked.
'Yes, I've got a new place. I move in later today. I thought I told you last night? I planned to.' I put my hand over my mouth, 'But then I got drunk, didn't I? Oh Harry, I'm so sorry.'
Lulu sighs. 'Ronnie. Would it be too much trouble to take a photo of you in the kitchen with Harry? We'll get him preparing you a final breakfast before you move into your new home. By the way, any chance we could take a couple of photos of you in your new place? It'd be a great piece.'
'I'll have to ask my landlady. As long as she agrees, of course you can.'
'Landlady?' asks Harry. 'Are you ditching me for a B&B?'
'No. I have a bungalow on Sophie Weston's estate.'
'Sophie Weston. The Sophie Weston?' Lulu's almost choking on her own saliva.
'Yeah? What about her?'
'The heiress of Weston Fisheries. Always declined interviews. Kept her family life extremely closed and private.'
'I've no idea.' Then I think of the water theme in her home. 'Maybe,' I add.
'No-one has ever got a picture inside that Estate. If she says yes, I'll owe you forever. That will be the coup of the year. It'll certainly get me a promotion and the magazine the Number one position.'
'Well, I'll ask, but I can't promise,' I tell her.
'In the meantime… Guys,' she shouts to her team. 'Get the kitchen set up for the shoot will you?' She turns to Harry. 'Do you have some breakfast stuff in, or do I need to send out the runners?'
'Actually do you have any of those sausages you said we had last night?' I ask him. 'I have a craving for a skinny sausage and a couple of cherry tomatoes.'
I contact Sophie who agrees to be on one photo with me outside the bungalow and will allow OK to photograph the gardens. They aren't allowed a picture of the main house, other than what will be seen behind the potager. I ask Lulu if she'll change the planned garden feature from Harry's to Sophie's.
'We could do both?'
I let her in on my plans for Harry's garden.
'Oh. Well yes, that wouldn't fit in very well with the sophisticated image of OK. Thanks for letting me know. I'll let Harry know that we're cancelling.'
'Please don't tell him why.'
'Of course I won't. I'll say it’s because we have the exclusive of Sophie's instead.' Lulu bites her lip. 'Look. I really shouldn't be telling you this… About Harry, he's making out you’re a couple to secure himself interviews. I've heard he's even broached ITV about a reality series around the two of you.'
'That's why I have to do this,' I tell her. 'He needs teaching a lesson.'
Wednesday 18 June 2014
My first week in my new place has been great. I've been able to chat to Sophie and work on the garden. I've updated my YouTube channel with the latest truth about what the papers say. Harry keeps asking me to meet him for a meal, but I put him off, telling him I'm getting my new home ready. The best bit about my bungalow being within Sophie's grounds is that he can't just turn up. Neither can the press. It's perfect.
Today I am outside a community building in the area, waiting for Nina to arrive. I'm about to experience my first Hatha yoga class.
I see her turn the corner and come rushing towards me.
'Sorry. First chance of a lie in for a while. I couldn't get out of bed.'
'You should have called me. I wouldn't have minded you cancelling.'
'No. I've always fancied trying yoga, plus I'm in the mood for a girly chat.'
'Shall we grab a drink afterwards then?'
'Yeah if we aren't blissed out and asleep.'
We walk into the community centre. The room the yoga is taking place in is cool and airy, with wooden floors and rolled up mats in the corner. It's a surprise after the exclusive gyms I usually frequent.
A small plump woman smiles at us. 'You look new?'
Nina grins. 'That obvious, is it? I'm Nina and this is Ronnie. It's our first time.'
'I'm a yoga virgin.' I tell her. 'I hope the first time won't hurt too much.'
'You'll not bleed.' The woman winks.
I grin at her. She's fun.
'When's the instructor coming?' I ask.
'I am the instructor.' says the small, plump woman. 'My name's Maggie.'
'I'm so sorry,' I tell her. 'I'm used to attending posh gyms where all the instructors look like pipe cleaners. They only consume water and bog roll.'
She laughs. 'Don't worry about it. It's not the first time someone's wondered why a normal shaped woman like me is the yoga teacher. Reserve your judgement on whether I'm any good or not until after the class.'
Fuck me. Is she right.
Maggie contorts herself into all sorts of shapes. We do the Sun Salutation. Then an ever increasing set of moves that all seem to be named after animals, the Downward facing Dog, the Cobra. During the Tree pose, I try and keep one foot 'grounded' while my other is placed on my calf, but I keep overbalancing. Maggie assures me it gets better each week. She finishes with a guided meditation. She describes a wood and we have to find a tree and sit underneath it. Only when she said wood, I immediately thought of a stiff penis and visualised sitting on that instead. The hour passes quickly.
'So what did you think?' she asks us afterwards.
'I loved it. Definitely something I want to keep coming to. Could I film a little bit of it for my YouTube channel?'
'It's probably best if you just show yourself doing some moves at home, Ronnie,' says Nina. 'Otherwise Maggie will have a few thousand people turning up for her next class.'
'Oh yeah. I never thought of that. We'll keep you a secret. A fantastic secret.'
'Thanks, girls. Glad you enjoyed it.'
'I expected to hear people farting. That was the rumour I'd heard about yoga.'
'It's time to go Ronnie. Thanks Maggie.' Nina leads me out of the room.
'I didn't get an answer to my farting question.'
'You'll live. Let's go and get a coffee. I need something to wake me back up.'
In the cafe Nina keeps sighing.
'What the fuck is up with you? We've just relaxed in class and you're all shruggy shoulders and huffing.'
'I'm fed up of Skyping Mike. I want to see him for real.'
'Then book a holiday for goodness sake. Go over and meet up.'
She takes a sip of coffee. 'He suggested that, but I'm scared.'
'What have you got to be scared of?'
'What if I get over there and we're wrong? What if there's nothing between us? Then I'm in New York all by myself, stuck with nothing to do.'
'You've never been to New York have you?'
'No. Why?'
'Honey, there's never nothing to do. It's the city that never sleeps, remember? Anyway it just won't happen. I saw Mike's face when I visited. He is completely and utterly smitten.'
Nina's face lights up.
'Really?'
'Really? So please go and book it.'
'I'll give it some serious thought.'
I put my own cup down. 'I reckon I should be on commission.'
'Oh yeah?'
'I keep sending my friends to New York. There must be some aspect of my personality that says Meet Ronnie. Leave the country.'
She smacks me in the arm. 'That's pushing it a bit. I'm only thinking of going for a holiday.'
'It's something you need to think about though. If things do take off with Mike in a big way. He's not going to move here. After what happened with Isabel, he wants to make sure Sam has his familiar things around him. Same school, his family. You would have to move there.'
'It freaks me out thinking that far ahead,' Nina says. 'It's pointless anyway. This is the first overture into a relationship Mike's made. He may find he's not ready at all. I'll consider it a holiday, just to see. There's no point in thinking any further ahead right now.'
'Okay, but keep it at the back of your mind.' I tell her. 'That family is ready made.'
Monday 23 June 2014
It's my follow up appointment with Rebecca.
'So Ronnie. How have you found the last three weeks?'
'Much better. I bought myself a yoga CD and attended a class. The meditation CD you gave me is very good for settling my thoughts at night. I feel much more secure in my new bungalow. Actually I'm sleeping better than I ever have.'
'So do you put that entirely down to the yoga and meditation and the new place?'
'No. I've also not been around the crazy people in my life. I've no romantic ties. The one friend I see is a lovely down to earth lady. It's been like having a spa break, only without the massages and jacuzzi.'
'So what have you learnt about your life these past few weeks, Ronnie?'
'I guess what you said about not being able to control others. You're right, I can't. But I can limit being around these people or stop it altogether.'
'That's really good. You've made excellent progress. Like I've said to you, it's about finding a balance. I realise with your celebrity status there are going to be times when you have to mix in those circles. It's about making yourself aware of those who just want to hang onto you for your fame, and trying to distance yourself from them.'
'I get that.'
'Next I'd like to raise another issue with you. I'm actually surprised you haven't brought it up and I'm wondering if you haven't seen it.'
Rebecca lifts out a newspaper.
'I haven't seen any news. I've avoided the papers while I've been enjoying my break.'
'Hmm, well it's important that you keep yourself abreast of the news, Ronnie, both tabloid and broadsheet. After all, one of your commitments for your channel is to respond to stories and tell people the truth.'
I lower my head, feeling disappointed in myself for having got something wrong. 'I did a truth piece, but just based it on what was really happening with me right now.'
'I'm not telling you off Ronnie. It's your life and if you choose to never read another paper that's up to you. It's just by making that decision it means you miss things like this.'
She opens up the newspaper and shows me the business section at the back. There's a piece on Thomas Fernsby and a new major deal he's brokered. They've sold the coffee shops and Riverside will be expanded into a huge nationwide chain. Col has sold out. It's the accompanying picture however that Rebecca wants me to look at. In it are Thomas and Charlotte, smiling at the camera. Beside them are Col and a Lady Samara Tissington-Harris. They also have their arms around each other. Samara is gazing up at Col with a look of gushing admiration. The piece states that Samara is his fiance. Wow that was quick work.
I sit back, feeling sick.
'So how does this make you feel Ronnie?'
'Betrayed. Hurt. Angry. Deceived. Now I'm wondering if he was with Samara all along.'
'What are you going to do about this? Do you plan to confront him?'
I bite my nail, taking a moment to consider things.
'No.' I shake my head. 'We’re finished. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm sure someone will tell me the truth in the long run.'
Rebecca smiles. 'That's a healthy response, and I'll be honest. Not the one I was expecting from you Ronnie. I thought you'd have left here now, and be on your way to tear him a new arsehole.'
I laugh. 'I don't have the energy for it anymore. He was a liar from the start. This is just an extension of the lies. I think I'll have a rest on the romance front for now.'
'Might be wise, Ronnie. So how are you feeling now? How is your inner peace?'
'Much better.'
'Okay. Now I want to tell you something, and I don't want it sending you into a blind panic.'
'Oookaaaay.'
'I'm leaving.'
'What? No.'
'I have some personal circumstances that mean I need to go away for a while.'
'I'm sorry to hear that. Anything I can help you with?'
Rebecca laughs. 'Oh, Ronnie. I'll miss you. Anyway, because I need to go, I booked us an extra hour so that we can set some things in motion for you to carry on with. I'll give you the name of another therapist, but I really hope you won't need to find one. I have a feeling that you're going to be okay.'
I nod. Then as if she
has read my mind Rebecca adds, 'People do leave, Ronnie. What you've got to realise is it isn't connected to you. It's life. Life is not static. It's ever evolving and we move on.'
'It feels like everyone leaves me.'
'Your parents haven't left you. Let’s talk about them. You have a constant that you seem to avoid. I'd like to know why that is.'
'I was brought up by nannies. When I hit my teens my mother decided she wanted me on her arm to display like a prized pet. Look at my daughter. Isn't she beautiful? Is there a Count, Prince or Lord anywhere that might be a good match?'
Rebecca makes a note on her jotter. 'That's made me think of something else, but we'll return to that… Carry on.'
'So my Dad was always busy with his inventions and promoting his businesses. He felt that keeping my mother happy, and us being well provided for was enough. He wasn't happy when I decided I preferred alcohol and boys to social events. Eventually I just became too wild for them. My mother started going to events without me. Dad carried on working. They tried various stunts to modify my behaviour, cutting off my finances etcetera, but none of it worked. I picked up rich men instead and let them pay for me. In the end they bought me the apartment. They said it was in the hope I might start acting responsibly, but it was to get me out of their hair really.'
'Ronnie. During all this time did your parents stop speaking to you?'
'No.'
'So they didn't cut you off, did they?'
'Ah, well. I guess not. What about them stopping my allowance though? That doesn't exactly show they cared.'
'Did they still pay your bills?'
I go red. 'Yes.'
'So they just stopped paying for what?'
'Clothes, restaurants, shoes…' I groan. 'God, I've been a spoilt brat, haven't I?'
'Ronnie. We don't blame ourselves here. We just look at why you acted like you did. Now think about it. Why did you let them pay for everything?'
I shout out, 'Because they owed me.'
'Why?'
'For not being there. For not showing that they loved me. Me! Not the image of who they wanted me to be.'
'Bingo.'
I sit back shocked. 'Oh my God.'
'Now who else is acting exactly that way? Fitting in with what their family want? Who else is seeking approval the exact same way?'
The Calendar Game (The Alpha Series Book 2) Page 16