'Please may I point out to LoveBug, who emailed me earlier, that I have given permission to another company for the release of a range of products inspired by the design, so please refrain from contacting me again. The products will raise money for the prostate cancer charity whose link is also below, if you wish to donate to this worthy cause. I won't however be appearing in promotional material for the range, as I've been spending enough time with dicks lately, although you could ask Harry. I'm sure he'll be glad of the publicity.'
I end the clip and can't stop the smirk spreading across my face. Take that Harry Taylor you complete arsehole, and as a bonus, LoveBug can go fuck themselves.
CHAPTER 10
September 2014
Men (again)
Tuesday 2 September 2014
Like Rebecca said, when she wasn't trying to kill me, you can't deal with major life choices in one month. So this month I'm revisiting the subject of men, because my sneaking out of the house one night a week needs to stop. Needs to, but isn't doing.
I take a jug of Pimms into the garden and sit at my table. Sophie is on her way to join me. We chat amiably about the garden and how lovely the weather is. About the dogs. It’s a beautiful September day, one I want to make the most of as the summer draws to a close.
'Are you seeing Col again, Ronnie?' There it is. The question I've been waiting to hear from her lips. She's finally decided to challenge me on it.
'No.' I take a deep breath ready for the forthcoming conversation.
'I've been meeting Charlie.'
Sophie's brows draw together. She doesn't know who Charlie is.
'Charlie is Col's brother. I've been meeting Col's brother.'
There's no mistaking the disappointment that crosses Sophie's face.
'Oh, Ronnie.'
'It's not what you think.' I burst out. 'I've just been meeting him for a drink. Nothing's happened between us.'
Sophie nods her head, 'Thank God for that. So if he's just a friend, why all the secrecy?'
'Because he's Col's brother. The press would have a field day if they saw us together. I've been wearing my short black wig and meeting him in dark corners of unpopular bars. He's getting tired of us only being friends though, Sophie. He's made it clear he wants more. I like him, I really do, but he's Col's brother ...'
Sophie takes a sip of her Pimms, then sits back and crosses one leg over the other. 'You need to decide what you want Ronnie. If you like Charlie and you see it going somewhere then take off the wig and live your life. If what you are getting out of this is something else, an escape, well, you should end it.'
'I know.'
'What does Charlie say about it all then?'
'He wants to take me out on a proper date, minus my wig.'
'You have a decision to make then don't you, Ronnie? In the meantime, do me a favour.'
'Yes.'
'Please let me know where you are going when you go out. I know you're a grown woman and I'm not your mother, but I worry about you. I don't know this Charlie. I'd feel better knowing where you are and what time you are due back, if that's not suffocating.'
I smile. 'No, it's not suffocating at all. It's unusual. No-one's ever given a damn where I am.' I huff. 'God listen to me, feeling sorry for myself. I know I've got to get my shit together.'
'Has Harry been in touch?'
'No. I think what I did was the end of our beautiful friendship.'
'You look sad.'
'I miss him Sophie. That makes no sense does it? He used me for the press attention, but I miss him. He was fun.'
'Maybe given time, you'll be able to be friends again?'
'Maybe. I doubt it though. I made him look a complete idiot.'
I sit back and think. There really is a space in my life where Harry was. I miss hanging out with him. I had fun when we lived together, especially when I was tormenting him. I sigh.
'I'm going out on Sunday night, Sophie. With Charlie. I'll let you know where we're meeting and what time I'll be back.'
'Thank you. Are you sure I'm not being too much?'
'Sophie. I love that you want to know I'm safe. Now refill those glasses.'
Sunday 7 September 2014
I'm sitting in the pub with Charlie, but it's different tonight. I can't put my finger on it. As I drink I wonder if it's the fact Sophie knows I'm here. My meeting Charlie is no longer happening covertly. Or maybe it's because I'm starting to feel better about my life. Either way, this dingy bar is annoying me. Not only that, but I'm sick of wearing this wig. It makes my head hot and itchy. Plus I'm tempted to stand up and perform All that Jazz when I'm wearing it.
As usual Charlie has been regaling me with tales of all his trips abroad. Even that's starting to irk me. He chats as if he's been on independent, backpacking adventures, but I reckon he's living in five star hotels rather than roughing it. His hands are too smooth. I know because tonight one keeps rubbing up and down my arm. I feel like grabbing it and shoving one of his fingers in his eye. God I must be pre-menstrual.
'You seem lost in thought tonight Ronnie.'
'Yeah, I am a bit. I feel wriggly. You know? Like I'm itching to do something but I don't know what it is. I know I don't feel like hiding away in a wig anymore. You were right, I need to take it off. I shouldn't be ashamed of going out for a drink with you. I'm an adult.'
Charlie's face lights up.
'I knew it. I knew you felt the same way.' He launches at me, his mouth on mine.
'Ahhhh.' I push him off. 'What are you doing?'
'This is perfect. God I've been wondering how long it would take for you to see that we'd make a great couple. You could come travelling with me sometimes. I bet you'd be fine if I disappeared for a month or so as well, independent woman like you.'
He is rambling on. It's like watching a movie with a runaway truck. You know it might go over the edge, but you hope something can stop it in time.
'Just imagine my mother's face when she sees us together. What a picture. Come on Ronnie.' He lifts his hand up to my hair. 'Take off the wig. No time like the present.'
Crash. It's too late. Over he goes.
He attempts to pull off my wig but it's gripped to my own hair.
I scream in pain.
Charlie is pulled off me and goes crashing through a couple of empty chairs opposite.
Harry stands over him.
'Get the fuck out of here before I rearrange your face.'
'What did I do? She gave me the green light. What's it got to do with you?' He stands up and I think he's going to face off with Harry.
The Landlord comes over and makes it clear he wants Charlie out. 'Looked like you were making the lady uncomfortable to me.'
Charlie shakes his shoulders and looks at me.
'You know where I am, Ronnie. Think it over.'
'I don't need to think, Charlie. I won't be seeing you again. It's been a mistake.'
Spittle shoots from his face as he shouts 'What the fuck have the last few weeks been about then? You fucking prick tease.'
Harry launches at him. It's amazing to witness as Charlie is much beefier than Harry, but Harry's muscles are tight and corded. That and the adrenaline pumping through him give him a power surge, like he's fucking Superman or something. He has Charlie by the arms and I watch as he physically throws him out into the street.
'Now fuck off, because if you come near her or me again I will break your fucking pretty face.' He closes the door on him and apologises to the landlord.
'I'll make sure this lady gets home safely.'
The landlord nods. 'If that's okay with you, Miss.'
'It's fine, thank you.'
'Cheers for getting him out of my bar,' the landlord says to Harry. 'I didn't fancy taking him on, he was a big bugger.'
'Yeah, well I've had enough problems with Charlie myself in the past. Although the drug was a lot less irritating.'
I get in Harry's car and try and gather the vortex of thoughts whirling around my mind.
'How
did you know I was there Harry?'
Harry fastens his seatbelt and then looks over to see if I've fastened my own. 'Sophie phoned me. She wondered if I'd keep an eye on you. Make sure you weren't doing anything stupid. Well more stupid than meeting him in the first place.'
'So have you been there all night?'
'Aye. Around the corner hiding behind a pillar. As soon as I saw him kiss you, I was on my feet. If you'd kissed him back, I'd like to hope I'd have left you to it.' His jaw tightens.
'Hope?' I say quietly.
'Yeah. I still might have punched him.'
I can hardly breathe. 'Why?'
He shrugs. 'You can do better.'
My shoulders sag with what, disappointment?
We arrive at Sophie's. Security lets us through and he drives me up to the entrance and escorts me to my bungalow door. 'I'll give Sophie a ring. Let her know you're back.'
'No, it's okay. I'll call her myself.'
'Okay then. Well, I'll be seeing you around Ronnie.'
'Thank you, Harry. Thanks for tonight. I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't been there.'
'You'd have been fine. You're Ronnie. Survivor of attempted murders and kidnappers. No problem though and did you notice. No press. I've changed, Veronica Huntington-Jones, and it's all your bloody fault.'
'Why's that?'
'Look, I'm going to get off now, it's been an adventurous evening. So unlike a usual night with you.' He rolls his eyes. 'It's usually so calm.'
'Can I call you? I miss you Harry.'
His eyes flash up to mine. He moves his lips. Like there's something he wants to say, but the words just won't come out.
'I'd like that. I miss you too.'
He walks back up the driveway, leaving me standing in the doorway, feeling his loss.
What the fuck just happened?
Monday 8 September 2014
I found it hard to sleep last night. At first I was thinking of the meet ups I've been having with Charlie. I was stupid to think he wasn't hoping for more. He's been flirting for weeks. I just couldn't deal with it, so I pretended it wasn't happening. I should apologise.
But more than that, my thoughts kept going to Harry, wondering what he was going to say. Then I'd grumble and turn over in bed because I'd remember he just wants to be on the cover of OK with me.
By six am I've managed a couple of hours’ fitful sleep. I give up and go and fix myself some coffee. I open the curtains to find the day is wet and dreary, so there's no sitting in the garden today. I could do with someone to talk to, but not Sophie. Someone independent.
Nina.
I call her, completely forgetting that it's ten past six in the morning.
'It's a good job I'm up for a shoot or you'd be getting some swear words about now. I don't hear from you for weeks and then you call me on cockerel time.'
'I'm so sorry. I've been a shit friend.'
'Ronnie. You had a bit of a breakdown. It's okay that you weren't in touch.'
'I did have a breakdown, didn't I? Fuck. I never thought of it like that. Well I'm back. If you still want to be friends that is?'
'Of course I do.'
'So how've you been?'
'Okay. Mike was back over on business—without Sam this time.'
'Oooooh. That reminds me. I must talk with Sam. Stella as well. God I feel like I've been returned after being abducted by aliens.'
'I guess it will feel like that. You must be recovering though, if you're starting to want to see people again.'
'Yeah, I guess so. Do you want to meet?'
'I'm still going to yoga on Tuesdays. If you fancy it again?'
'I'd love to. I've done a bit at home. Tomorrow then?'
'Tomorrow. Looking forward to it.'
Once time reaches a more amenable hour, I wander over to Sophie's. She invites me in, putting the kettle on and getting cups out without even asking me. She seems nervous.
'Is everything okay, Sophie?'
'Are you mad with me?'
'About what?' I crinkle my eyes at her in confusion.
'That I called Harry? I told him where you were.'
'God, no. You did me a favour. Whatever funk I've been in is over Sophie. I feel like those meetings with Charlie never took place. Like it was someone else. I feel like I've emerged from some cult-like state.'
She exhales. 'Oh thank goodness. I really thought I might have gone too far.'
'I do have a question for you though. How long have you been conversing with Harry?'
'He phoned me after you fell out at the sanctuary. Asked if he could keep calling me to see how you were. He's adamant he didn't phone the press that day.'
'Well he has form for it.'
'He does. He knows that. He understands why you'd not want anything more to do with him. It didn't stop him caring though. He's phoned me every couple of days. When I asked him to go and check you were okay, he didn't hesitate.'
I nod. 'I need to talk to him. Say thank you.'
'Maybe it's time to build a few fences,' says Sophie. 'Or at least repair a garden border, you cocked up.'
Tuesday 9 September 2014
I meet Nina at the Community Centre. We embrace and I stand back and appraise her. She flushes and looks at the floor.
'You have so shagged him.'
'Ronnie!'
'Well. Have you?'
'I might have,' she giggles.
'Go Nina. Go Nina,' I chant. 'I don't want details, that's too gross, but goody.'
'I wasn't going to give you any huge details anyway.'
'Ew. Stop it.'
We enjoy the class. It's different to doing it at home via DVD. I like the ambience. I really must try and get here weekly. Nina has to get to work, so we make plans to have a night out later in the week. I wander up to Maggie, the Yoga Instructor to apologise for not having attended the last few weeks.
Then he walks in, carrying a towel and a drink.
'Oh fuck.' I run behind the nearest curtain.
Maggie follows me to the corner and chats out of the side of her mouth. 'Is everything okay, Ronnie? Are you having an episode?'
'I'm not psychotic. I had a breakdown. But it's him. Ben. He used to be my Martial Arts Teacher at BodyTone.'
'And? You're now shy?'
'No. He took out an injunction against me. He can't see me. I think it’s lapsed now, but it's best I keep my distance.'
'Well I need to go so he can do his class. Why don't you come out with me now while he's chatting to other members?'
'I daren't.' I don't think I could move if I tried. I'm frozen in place.
Maggie looks at her watch. 'So what are you going to do? Stay behind the curtain all day?'
'Until he's gone. Yes.'
She shakes her head. 'Ronnie. I'm not sure you're fully recovered yet. I'll see you next week, but in the meantime a GP appointment wouldn't go amiss.' She leaves me behind the curtain.
Ben's voice commands his attendees. 'Okay, you lot. Come on. I hope you have lots of energy for this sponsored Tai Chi session. Four hours—starting in five minutes time. So if anyone wants to grab any further refreshments now is the time to do it.'
Four fucking hours? I need a piss. I can't stay here for four fucking hours.
I look at the window. I could climb out onto the ledge but then there's a bit of a drop into the car park. I'd need someone to help me down.
An idea springs to mind. I take my phone out of my pocket and text Harry that I need help. Then I turn my phone on vibrate only, and wait.
My obsession with Ben's appearance must have had me make allowances for the fact his voice is like nails down a blackboard.
'You can dooooo thisssss.'
'Come on Brendaaaaa. You've done the twenty four loads of timessss.'
I start to get bored behind the curtain so I take a quick peep at Ben. He's still fit. With almost black cropped hair and wicked tight buns.
A shadow below me makes me jump. Harry. He motions for me to open th
e window.
As I push it open a gust of wind blows the curtain wide and then the air sucks it back in so that it clings to my body.
'Is there someone there?' asks Ben, like a medium calling to the spirits.
'There's someone behind the curtain.' shouts a woman.
I start to climb out quickly. As I do so I get my foot trapped within the material that's wrapped around me like a shroud. I try and shake it off as I'm half in and half out of the window and resemble a circus gymnast performing with aerial silks. I hear a clunk and then the whole curtain plus pole comes crashing down, launching me out of the window and down into Harry's arms.
I hear people shouting, voices coming nearer. I tuck my head into Harry's jacket.
'Run. Get me out of here,' I yell.
He rushes to his car and all but throws me in the passenger side. Then runs to the driver’s side, starts the engine and reverses out of the Community Centre car park at great speed.
'Explain yourself, lady. Why I'm rescuing you for the second time in less than a week? I feel like I should be on a horse.'
He's right. I do owe him an explanation, plus there's a thank you needed for the other night.
'I don't want to go home yet. Could we go to your house? You can make me some lunch and I'll explain.'
I tuck into a Ham salad sandwich while describing how Ben had walked into the room after yoga.
'Only you, Ronnie. Only you.'
'I liked doing yoga too.'
Harry bursts out laughing. 'I don't think you're going to be too welcome there again, after pulling the curtain fixture down. Although someone would have to identify you by your arse, as that was the only thing anyone could see sticking up in the air while you tried to hide in my jacket.'
'Maggie knew I was behind the curtain.'
'Maggie?'
'The Yoga Instructor. She indicated I wasn't mentally stable, so I'm not going back there. I'll either be admitted to an institution, or arrested for stalking or for causing criminal damage. Either way, I think I'll stick to my DVD, it's simpler.'
'Stalking. That's why you got a restraining order?'
'Yeah. I couldn't tell whether or not he was gay. If he was then I was wasting my time going to his lessons. So I followed him, only for a week or so. Never saw him with anyone, so I kept following him after class.'
The Calendar Game (The Alpha Series Book 2) Page 19