by Griffith, KF
The rest of my team was released from the Eliminated Player’s Box and they raced to the pit to congratulate me.
Baerwald lifted me from the ghost wraith’s ashes. “Well done, Grady Burr,” he said. He propped me up against the wall away from the flogiston pipe I had pulled down.
“That was astounding, kid,” said Elganbok.
Brunda and Slipknock and Grelda stood looking at me with big grins on their faces.
“That was more than we could’ve hoped for,” said Brunda. “Thank you for fightin’ so hard for us. And yourself.”
The rest of the team picked me up and started trotting around with me over their heads, cheering the whole time.
“They’re posting the scores,” said Grelda.
I looked up at the big scoreboard. They had the team rankings for the qualifying rounds. The Flaming Goat Ogreball Club was at the very top, in first place.
“That means we get a bye,” said Brunda. “We automatically advance to the finals. We won’t have to play against another team until the last game tonight.” She hugged Grelda.
The team danced and shouted and carried on.
“Now all you’ve gotta do is beat the one team that beats every other team,” said the shrunken head. He added sarcastically, “That should be easy.”
Everybody stopped and glared at the shrunken head. “What?” it said. “I’m just being realistic.”
Chapter 24: Game Watching
We spent the rest of the day watching the other teams play. I learned a lot about the game in those precious hours, maybe even enough to do some good for my team. It was a lot like watching a mash-up between rugby, hockey, and professional wrestling – there was a lot of running around chasing after a ball – or in this case a skull – and a lot of full-contact fighting. It was fast paced, violent, and really, really fun to watch. I couldn’t wait to hit the field.
Each game starts at the center of the field. The skullball is placed on the starting tee, and a single crossbone is placed at opposite sides of the field at the goal of each team. So, there’s a ball – it’s a real ogre skull that they get from a famous player that’s died during a game – and two crossbones. At the sound of the starting gong, it’s a mad scramble as both teams fight for possession of the skullball and the crossbones.
You score by putting the skullball into your opponent’s goal. The thing that makes the scoring interesting is that the two crossbones act as scoring multipliers or dividers. What I mean by that is if you score, you get an extra point for however many crossbones your team is holding. In other words, if you have possession of one crossbone when you score, you get one extra point. If you have both crossbones when you score, you get two extra points. The bad part is that your opponent takes points away from you if they’re holding any crossbones. If they have one crossbone when your team scores, one point is subtracted from your score. If they have both crossbones when you score, you only get one point instead of three. So, scoring can be all over the place from one point for a goal up to five points for a goal. That part makes it interesting, that’s for sure.
Each match lasts ninety minutes. There’s a forty-five minute first half, a short halftime, and then another forty-five minute second half. It makes for a long, grueling game. And of course, the team that has the most points at the end of the game wins.
There are tons of rules. In fact, they have an official rulebook. But for the most part anything goes. The object of the game is to score goals, but eliminating members of your opponent’s team by smashing them with your weapon is half the fun.
Another thing I learned is that during the game everything inside the stadium is powered by the stadium’s flogiston generator. And the flogiston generators are notoriously bad. They break down a lot during the games. And when the generator’s down, you can get killed. My teammates have told me over and over again, if the generator goes out, hide.
Seeing the flogiston generator blackouts in action convinced me completely how dangerous they were. The power fluctuated a couple times each game, but there had been only two complete blackouts. At the end of the third match of the day, just when the team for Grindspike Industries was about to lose, the entire stadium went dark. Emergency sirens blared, and an automated message urged the players to take cover and act with caution. That didn’t stop the Grindspike players from going on the attack. They had surrounded a player with the skullball from the other team just before the generator went down. When the generator and the field lights came back up, the player from the other team was dead, and a Grindspike player had the skullball. He scored quickly, and they won.
The Grindspike team had won a lot throughout the day. They were clearly the best team at the competition. They were the only other team beside us that had made it to the third round during qualifications. They were bigger, faster, and definitely meaner than any of the other teams.
They proved that by how they finished up the last team that stood between them and us for the final match. The other team was good, but they were losing by four points near the end of the game. The Grindspike team could have changed their aggressive strategy to a defensive one and coasted through until the gong signaled the end of the game. But what they did was shocking. As their biggest player ran down the field with the skullball tucked under his arm, he stopped dead in his tracks. He placed the skullball on the ground in front of him and walked away. Two other players from Grindspike came into view, and they were each carrying one of the crossbones.
They walked to where the skullball was, placed the crossbones on the ground next to it, and walked away. The skullball and both crossbones were lying there to be taken. Three players from the other team raced out to the spot where the skullball and crossbones were and snatched them up. I’m sure they realized that if they got all three of them and scored, they could win by one point. They stood there looking around for a moment and then dashed towards the Grindspike goal. That’s when the flogiston generator went out again. It was only out for a second, but when it came back on the three players from the other team were lying dead on the floor of the playing field. The Grindspike players walked back out and stood there as the clock ticked down the final seconds of the match. They didn’t even bother to pick up the skullball and crossbones.
The crowd was silent, and even the announcer had nothing to say. The clock ran out, and the final gong sounded. It looked like we were going to be facing the team from Grindspike Industries in the final match.
Chapter 25: The Game Begins
“That was grim,” I said.
“They were just sending a message,” said Baerwald. He was buffing his club and didn’t look up.
“Yeah, well it came through loud and clear,” said Elganbok. “They want us to be scared.”
“It worked, I’m scared,” said a twitchy ogre who was fidgeting with his war hammer.
We were gathered around our team bench on the sidelines, getting ready to go on the field for the kickoff.
“I can’t wait to use this,” said Baerwald. He held up a small bottle filled with yellowish green liquid.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Invisiboullion,” he said. “It’s a clear soup that makes you invisible when you drink it.”
“Wow, that sounds really useful,” I said.
“Not as useful as a shrunken head, though,” said my shrunken head.
“We’ll see about that,” I said. I looked up to see the Grindspike team march back out of their locker room towards their team bench.
Each team was assigned an area on the same side of the field for their team bench. The players, the coach, and the support crew were the only ones allowed to be there. On the far side of each team area was a pile of coffins for each team in case any of their players got killed during the match.
The team benches were very close to each other, too, so any player from one team that got too close to the line between benches was heckled savagely by members of the other team. Putting the benches so close together seemed
like a really dumb idea until I saw how much the crowd enjoyed it when players from rival teams taunted each other.
“I can’t believe what that brute just called me,” said Slipknock as he hustled away from the line between the benches. “All I did was look over in their direction.” The players from the other team were still laughing at him and pointing.
There was a trumpet fanfare, and the crowd erupted into a raucous howl. “It’s time for some ooooooogreballlllll!” yelled the announcer.
The sound of drumbeats came from behind the goal areas on both sides of the playing field, and the crowd chanted, “Ogreball! Ogreball! Ogreball!”
“Today’s championship match is proudly sponsored by the world’s finest beverage company: Shriveltongue Refreshments, makers of all your favorite drinks,” said the announcer. That cued a jingle that wafted from the speakers, chirpy voices sang about the joys of quenching your thirst after watching an exciting game of ogreball. At least that’s what I thought they were singing about. It was hard to tell with all the drumming, cheering, chanting, and stomping going on.
We marched out onto the field side-by-side with the players from Grindspike Industries. I hefted my war hammer over my right shoulder, and waved to the cheering crowd with my left hand.
“Best view in the house,” said Elganbok as he waved and looked around.
I have to admit that it was pretty amazing. The stadium was packed with spectators. And I could see dozens of giant monitors showing close-ups of us and the Grindspike players. The lights were intensely bright. And the air was filled with a sense of electric anticipation.
Each of the Flaming Goat players trotted to their position and hopped back and forth from foot to foot with nervous energy. The Grindspike players just moved to their starting positions and stood there scowling with their fists clenched.
“They look happy to be here,” said the shrunken head.
I stood on the line of the circle that marked off the starting tee area. Players weren’t allowed inside the line until the gong that started the game sounded. On the opposite side of the circle stood the other team’s striker. The skullball was placed on a tee in the dead center of the circle. It was my job as striker to beat the other guy to the skullball, take possession of it, and head for our opponent’s goal. The Grindspike striker was way bigger than I was, so I was hoping that meant that I was going to be faster than he was.
The gong sounded, the crowd roared, and I bolted for the skullball. I pumped my legs as hard as I could and drove forward. The Hand of Hardgrim made my war hammer feel absolutely weightless, so I had no more trouble running than I would have if I was carrying a long cardboard tube. Despite the fact that I was running as fast as I possibly could, it looked like the Grindspike player was going to get to the skullball first. I couldn’t believe how fast he was moving! At the speed he was running, he would never be able to slow down enough to grab the skullball. That was when I realized that the he wasn’t going for the skullball. He was coming for me.
“This is gonna hurt,” said the shrunken head.
And it did. The Grindspike player was carrying an enormous wooden club wrapped with iron bands. He swung it around over his head and brought it crashing at me from my left side. Before I could block it with my war hammer, it hit me. The shrunken head was right, it hurt.
The crowd groaned as I took the hit.
The impact sent me sailing head over heels like a rag doll into a nearby metal column. I struck it with a loud clang and dropped to the floor of the stadium.
“That will probably result in a penalty,” said the announcer. “Yes, the referee has a yellow card up. And he’s indicating that there will be a penalty shot for the Flaming Goat player. As you all know, aggressive play is encouraged, but the rules state that players are not allowed to attack each other unless they are attempting to gain possession of the skullball or creating an opportunity for a teammate to score. It is very clear that neither of those were the case in this particular instance.”
Baerwald and Elganbok raced over to me and helped me up.
“Are ya okay, kid,” asked Elganbok.
“I’m just a little dazed,” I said.
“You’re going to get a penalty shot out of this,” said Baerwald. “It’s a good opportunity to score first. That would really send them a message.”
“I’d like to send that guy a message,” I said as I looked over my shoulder at the Grindspike player that had sucker punched me. “I can’t believe how much that hurt.”
“We feel the pain every time we get hit,” said Baerwald. “We just won’t die.”
“Unless the flogiston generator is down,” said the shrunken head.
“Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine,” said Elganbok.
The referee lead me through the columns and other obstacles down the field to the Grindspike team’s goal area. He made all the other players clear the area except for the gate keeper – which is the ogreball version of a goalie – and positioned me on a long line about twenty feet away from their goal.
I had practiced penalty shots with my teammates, so I knew what to do. The object is to make the gate keeper think you’re going to do one thing, and then do something else instead. A fake out, in other words.
The referee blew his whistle and signaled for me to take my shot.
I unhooked the shrunken head and held it up at eye level. “Nobody but the gate keeper can come inside the goal area until I touch the skullball, right?”
“Right,” it said.
“I’m going to throw you at the gate keeper,” I said. And before I could go any farther, the shrunken head began to laugh. “I’m going to throw you right at his nose,” I continued. “And I want you to bite him.”
Through its laughter the head managed to say, “I’m startin’ to like you, kid. I like the way you think.” Tiny tears leaked out from between its sewn eyelids. “This is gonna be great.”
“It appears that the Flaming Goat player is having a bit of a conference with his little friend,” said the announcer. “Ah, it looks like they’re ready.”
I turned back towards the goal, gripped the shrunken head like a baseball, wound up, and threw it directly at the gate keeper’s face. It hit him smack in the nose. And hung there.
The gate keeper’s eyes grew wide, and he screamed at the top of his lungs. He grabbed at the shrunken head with both hands and tried to tear it off of his nose. He thrashed around, fell forward, and rolled off to the side of the goal.
I stepped beside the skullball and arranged myself like I was going to putt a golf ball. I swung my war hammer back and gently knocked the skullball into the Grindspike goal.
Cannons went off. Fireworks burst into the air. The crowd cheered. And the announcer sang, “Goooooooooal!”
I walked to the gate keeper – who was still flailing on the ground – and pulled the shrunken head off of his face. The gate keeper clutched his nose and whimpered.
I hooked the shrunken head back onto my harness, flipped my war hammer up over my right shoulder, and ambled back towards the middle of the playing field. My teammates rushed at me and covered me with hugs and back slaps. Brunda, Slipknock, and Grelda were jumping up and down on the sidelines.
“This is remarkable,” said the announcer. “Flaming Goat Ogreball Club takes the lead, 1 – 0!”
The referee hustled everyone back to their starting positions and warned the Grindspike team that they would forfeit the entire match if they committed another serious foul like the one that had just occurred. The gong sounded again, and the game began in earnest.
I took possession of the skullball quickly and headed for the Grindspike goal. When a Grindspike player jumped at me from behind a low wall, I tossed the skull to Baerwald. He caught it, but a Grindspike player instantly appeared in front of him to block his way. Baerwald swung his giant club and knocked the other ogre completely out of his path. He carried the skullball up a nearby ramp and threw it across the center of the field to Elganbok who h
ad climbed up a narrow pole. Elganbok dropped to the ground and tossed the ball to me as I raced down the middle past him. I was close enough to hurl the skullball into the goal, but instead I tossed it up in the air over my head. Elganbok jumped over me and grabbed the skullball. He hit the ground, rolled, stood up, and raised his arm to throw the skullball into the Grindspike goal.
That’s when a Grindspike player hit him from the side. Elganbok didn’t even see it coming. He tumbled through the air, slammed against a pillar, and slid to the ground, unconscious. The skullball rolled out of his limp hands onto the playing field. A second Grindspike player snatched the skull off the ground and raced off towards our goal with it.
By the time we’d gotten Elganbok up on his feet and regrouped, the cannon boomed and the Grindspike team had already scored.
Our gatekeeper told us that half their team had charged towards him, knocking him out of the way before they walked into our goal with the skullball. Neither of the crossbones had been moved from their spots atop the goals yet, so the Gridnspike team had only managed to score three points.
“The Grindspike team is now ahead, 3 – 1!” shouted the announcer. “What an event!”
And that’s exactly how the rest of the first half went. We’d take possession of the skullball, work our way to their goal area only to have the skullball snatched out of our grasp before we could score a point. Of course, as soon as they had the skullball, they ran straight for our goal and scored. The flogiston generator went out three times during the first half. Each time it did the Grindspike team scored a goal. Luckily, none of us were killed or hurt during any of the power outages.
Eventually, the halftime gong sounded, and we walked off the field towards our locker room.The score was 10 – 1 in their favor. The only way we’d managed to keep the score from being any worse was because we’d been able to maintain possession of the crossbones throughout most of the match and they’d only been able to score one point at a time.