by Griffith, KF
“The magic box is in the big pocket on my left pant leg,” I mumbled.
Elganbok pulled it out and looked it over. “It’s in perfect condition,” he said.
“Try it to see if it works, “said Baerwald.
One of the Grindspike players was crossing the playing field with the skullball a short distance away from us. Baerwald ran towards him with his club raised. He approached the Grindspike player from behind, and the second before he struck, Elganbok flipped a switch on the magic box. The stadium went completely dark, and then we heard the impact as Baerwald’s club struck the player carrying the skullball. The only thing I could see was the tiny red light on the magic box glowing in the dark.
Elganbok flipped the switch on the magic box again, and the stadium light popped back on. “Seems to work just fine,” he said.
Baerwald raced past us without a word in the direction of the Grindspike goal. He was carrying the skullball in his hand.
The magic box changed everything.
One of us would hide from the cameras and work the switches on the magic box while the rest of the team would focus on scoring goals. And then we’d switch, so that someone else could operate the magic box. We scored one goal after another. Elganbok scored four, Baerwald scored three, and I even scored two more, myself. The Grindspike team was utterly bewildered. We were scoring so many goals in such rapid succession at one point that they just stood by and watched us score.
I would never have believed it was possible, but with only fifteen minutes left on the clock, we had tied the score. We had possession of the skullball, and we were headed for the Grindspike goal once again. The Grindspike team had both crossbones, so even if we made the shot, we’d only score a single point. But that’s all we needed to win. It was time to use the magic box one last time, and I had it.
Elganbok had the skullball and was running along a raised platform on my right side. An ogre from the Grindspike team jumped up onto the platform directly in front of him, blocking his path. Elganbok tossed the skullball down to an ogre named Cramplip who was running past on the ground level. Cramplip had a straight run and a clear shot at the goal. It seemed like the perfect time for a little blackout. I flipped the safety cover up and flipped the switch on the magic box. Everything went black.
There was a loud crash in the dark ahead of me, and I heard Cramplip cry out in pain. I fumbled in the dark for the switch, and just as I found it, a war hammer came crashing down on me from behind.
Some instinct told me to dodge at the last second, so the hammer only grazed my shoulder and didn’t kill me. I scrambled around on all fours trying to find the magic box while at the same time listening for movement that would tell me where the ogre that had hit me was.
Within seconds the power came back up on its own. The blue flogiston lights flickered and flashed. In that eerie half-light I saw the magic box on the ground in front of me. It was smashed into a million tiny pieces. The ogre that had hit me stood there laughing.
“And yet another blackout,” said the announcer. “This must be an all-time record!”
I looked up at one of the monitor screens and saw Cramplip crumpled on the ground with a Grindspike player standing over him with a club in one hand. The Grindspike player reached down and picked up the skullball. He held it up high and shook it victoriously. He turned and charged in the direction of our goal.
Cramplip suddenly glowed blue and disappeared in a flash. On the video monitor, the camera angle changed and I could see Cramplip on a stretcher in the medical area. It gave me a sense of relief to know he was being taken care of, but now we were down a player with only eight minutes left in the game and the enemy had possession of the skullball. It would take a miracle for us to win now.
I looked back up at the monitors, and the camera showed a bunch of ogres arguing with the officials at the official’s station. Brunda was there, and so were Slipknock and Grelda. Brunda waved her arms around and ran off in the direction of the medical area.
I turned my attention back to the playing field and saw the Grindspike player with the skullball come into view. He was running straight towards me, and I knew I had to stop him.
“The Flaming Goat team has made a substitution,” said the announcer. “Cramplip, the injured player, is coming out, and a new player, Snotwaffle, is replacing him.”
I couldn’t remember anyone on our team named Snotwaffle. But I had more important things to focus on right now.
The ogre that had whacked me and destroyed the magic box stepped in front of me. “You’re not going to be able to stop us now,” he growled.
I looked past him to see the ogre with the skullball approaching quickly. I probably couldn’t stop him, but I might be able to slow him down. “Mind if I throw you again?” I asked the shrunken head.
“Of course not,” it said.
I unhooked it and tossed it directly at the ogre in front of me. It hit him in the leg and chomped down. The ogre wailed in agony, dropping his war hammer and grabbing at his leg. I swung my own war hammer over my head, and clobbered him from above. He went down like a sack of rocks.
“That’s for breaking the magic box,” I said to him. I hit him again. “And that’s for hitting me.”
He flashed brightly and vanished.
By that time, the ogre with the skullball had reached me. He came at me full speed, swinging his club furiously. I stood my ground.
I raised my war hammer and blocked his strike. I countered with a swing of my hammer from the right side, and he blocked it. He took another swing at me, which I barely deflected. This went on over and over. He would strike, I would block. I would strike he would counter. Each time our weapons clashed, I took a step backwards. He was inching me step by step back towards our goal.
“This is amazing!” cried the announcer. “The Flaming Goat player is certainly slowing the progress of the Grindspike team. And there are only two minutes left on the clock.”
That lit a fire under the Grindspike player. He came at me swinging relentlessly. All I could do was dodge and block, dodge and block. Within seconds he’d backed me up to our goal area. Players on both sides stood and watched as he pummeled me.
With one final massive swing, he disarmed me, glove and all. The Hand of Hardgrim flew off my arm and spiraled away, still clutching my war hammer. I staggered backwards and fell on my back.
The Grindspike player towered over me and chuckled. Moving slowly enough to make sure he had everyone’s attention, he lifted the skullball up and drew his arm back behind his head casually. He held it there, poised to throw it into our goal.
That’s when a blur whizzed across the field and plowed full-force into him, knocking him flying and sending the skullball straight up into the air.
The blur stopped and stood perfectly still. It was Brunda, dressed in Cramplip’s game gear.
She held out her hand and caught the falling skullball.
“Incredible!” shouted the announcer. “The Flaming Goat substitution is . . . is . . . a female?” We could hear him shuffling papers and conferring with someone else off-microphone. “And as unusual as this sounds, my research assistants have already scoured the official rules and have confirmed that while a female ogreball player is completely unheard of and highly irregular, it is nevertheless perfectly legal. Wrap your heads around that, ogreball fans! A female ogreball player.”
Some of the crowd murmured and grumbled. Others cheered enthusiastically.
“With only ten seconds left, the Flaming Goat team has made a stunning turnaround and taken possession of the skullball,” continued the announcer. “But there’s a whole team between them and the Grindspike goal. They’ll never be able to make it down the field in time to score. What a shame. On this day of firsts, it would have been quite the story if a team with a female player actually won the match.”
Brunda shook her head from side to side and rolled her eyes. With her free hand she pulled a small bottle from her harness. She pulled the cork
stopper out with her teeth and spit it onto the ground, and then she chugged down the contents of the bottle in one swallow. “Powerchug,” she said holding up the empty bottle. “Good stuff.” She belched and threw the bottle over her shoulder.
She hefted the skullball up, and looked down towards the opposite side of the field. She drew the skullball back behind her head as far as she could, and then she hurled it towards the Grindspike goal. It flew in a massive arc the length of the field, straight at her target.
“Five, four, three, two . . . and it’s in!” shouted the announcer. “Gooooooooal!”
The skullball had gone in just as the gong sounded to mark the end of the game. Cannons fired. The crowd went wild. Confetti filled the air. Trumpets blared.
The Flaming Goat team was jumping for joy. Baerwald picked me up and twirled me around over his head. Brunda stood there with her hands on her hips and a huge grin on her face.
We had won.
Chapter 29: A Quick Detour
In the middle of all the confusion, I ducked out of the crowd that had swarmed onto the playing field and headed back down the ramp to the weapons room and then all the way to the octozurl tank.
“You’re not really gonna do this, are you kid?” asked the shrunken head.
“Of course I am,” I said. I walked over to the tank and watched the octozurls thrashing around in the water. They were swimming towards the far wall of the tank over and over and clumping together into a giant slithering mass of slippery tentacles and slimy skin.
Every so often there would be a gap in the churning mass, and I could get a glimpse past them at what appeared to be a metal gate. The octozurls would shove themselves at the gate, get pushed away by the next wave of octozurls trying to get at the gate, and then swim back to the gate for another round. That must be the way out.
I followed the frame of the gate up along the wall of the tank until I saw the gears and pulleys that were used to raise and lower the gate. I then traced the power cables back from there to the side of the tank and spotted what I was looking for.
I climbed up on the side of the tank and hoisted myself onto a small platform where there was a small mechanical box that housed the controls for the gate. The box was covered with buttons and levers and switches. It took me a minute to find exactly what I was looking for and then a minute longer to figure out which way I needed to move the lever to get the gate to go up. I pulled on the lever.
The gate lifted slowly, raised by chains that clanked and hummed as it ascended. The water rushed out under the gate taking dozens and then hundreds of octozurls with it. The octozurls that hadn’t been sucked out when the gate opened splashed excitedly towards the opening and, once they got to it, jumped over the frame and out towards freedom.
I pried open my scoring harness and leaned over the edge of the tank, tipping my octozurl out into the nearly empty pool. It flopped into the water with a splash and sloshed its way to the far side of the tank and leaped out through the gate. By that time, all the other octozurls had made it out of the tank and back out towards freedom. I flipped my scoring harness closed, pulled the lever so that the metal gate closed, and headed back up to the playing field.
Chapter 30: Aftermath
By the time I joined everyone on the winner’s podium, they’d already eaten their octozurls. “You put your octozurl back in the tank didn’t you?” Baerwald whispered.
“Nope,” I said. “I let them all go free.”
He laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes.
So, there we were on the podium, waiting for our prizes. I couldn’t believe it. Against all the odds our plan worked, and we had won. My teammates hoisted me up on their shoulders and danced around with joy. Brunda had the biggest smile I’d ever seen on her face. There was confetti falling from above us, and the crowd was cheering us on.
“I can’t believe we won!” I shouted.
“But we did,” said Brunda. “Now we can afford to fight to save the Flaming Goat, and you’ll be able to go home.”
The team lowered me to the stage floor and settled themselves down.
“Snotwaffle?” I asked her.
“I had to pick a name,” she shrugged her shoulders.
“If you hear her sneeze when she’s cooking in the kitchen at the Flaming Goat, don’t order the waffles,” said Baerwald.
“You cheated!” said Grindspike with venom in his voice. He and his team had climbed onto the second place podium. Squinteye was hovering behind him.
Brunda turned to face Grindspike. “I can’t imagine what you mean,” she said.
Slipknock stepped forward. “I suggest that if you have any serious accusations to make, you file a complaint with the officials,” he said. He glared directly at Squinteye, who slid even further behind Grindspike.
“Go ahead and file a complaint, ya big cheater,” said Elganbok. “I dare ya.”
Grindspike flared his nostrils at Elganbok like he was a piece of spoiled fish. “I want my property back, you little thief” he said.
“Why thank you,” Elganbok said and bowed. “Comin’ from you, that’s quite a compliment.”
“We have no idea what you’re talkin’ about,” said Brunda.
“Fair warning to all of you,” Grindspike said in his most threatening voice. “You will pay for this. You will all pay for this. I spent a considerable sum to ensure my victory today, and you have cheated me out of what was rightfully mine.”
“A cheater cheated,” said Grelda. “How sad.” She looked past Grindspike and glared at Squinteye savagely.
The officials joined us in the winners’ circle. By the looks of them, they were B.O.R.I.A.L. through and through. They were dour and unpleasant looking, not a smile to be seen, even on an occasion like this. The championship trophy and the prize money were pulled directly behind the officials in a carriage made especially for the championship ceremony. The carriage was covered with bells that jingled and small glass bulbs that glowed with blue flogiston light. It was drawn by pullbeasts, the ogre equivalent of oxen. As the pullbeasts moved slowly towards us, their heads swayed back and forth with every step.
I could see the trophy. It looked exactly like the one we had stolen from the Ogreball Hall.
But this one was real, and it had a magical wish attached to it that I would be using in a matter of minutes.
We lined ourselves up on the podium so that the officials could shake each of our hands as they congratulated us. When they had all made it up onto the stage and stood before us, the ogre in the tallest top hat spoke directly to Brunda.
“There seems to have been a few . . . irregularities with this match,” he said slowly. “The apparent age of one of your star players, for starters. And the rather odd – and I must say coincidentally beneficial – blackouts that occurred towards the end of your match. Are you sure that you want to claim victory under such . . . questionable circumstances, madam?”
Brunda leaned down close to him and whispered, “You listen here, you crusty old sneakpot! In the first place, the fact that none of our players is an ogre child has been checked and confirmed by your people. And as for your second comment, feel free to look into that. You might be surprised by what you find.” She smiled at him and winked.
The head official looked stunned. He stole a quick look at Grindspike who was shaking his head from side to side slowly and snarling. Squinteye leaned forward and was waving his hands, desperately signaling the official to stop. The official turned back to Brunda.
“How about you give my boys their trophy and you give me my prize money?” she said.
At the offical’s signal, four ogres in stadium uniforms carried the trophy up onto the stage and placed it in front of us. Right behind them were two more ogres carrying a giant bank check with Brunda’s name on it in fresh ink.
She jumped off the podium and raced to the check and kissed it. “Now we’ll be able to afford to save the Flaming Goat,” she said. “This money will go to good use.” She turned aro
und and gave Grindspike a grin.
“And there you have it, ogreball fans,” said the announcer. “A perfect ending to an amazing day of our favorite sport. What more could we ask for?”
The rest of us joined Brunda at the center of the stage behind the trophy. An ogre with a camera urged the officials to move in close with us for a group photo. The head official made a great show of handing the giant check over to Brunda while the ogre photographer’s camera flashed.
“And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for,” said the announcer. “The Winner’s Wish!”
Brunda leaned over and whispered something to the head official. He looked unhappy and stepped away to talk with the other B.O.R.I.A.L. officials for a few seconds. He returned to Brunda and nodded his head. She smiled and had me step forward.
“We couldn’t have done it without you, Grady Burr!” Baerwald shouted. “Thank you.”
The rest of the team roared their approval.
“You’re a good ogre, Grady Burr” shouted Elganbok. “You out-ogred an ogre.”
The others laughed and shouted their agreement.
“Wait just a second,” said the announcer. “Something unusual is . . . wait, what? . . . ah, I’ve just been informed that the team owner has asked if it would be permissible for the Flaming Goat team to allow a single player to receive the winner’s wish rather than the team as a whole. The B.O.R.I.A.L. officials have agreed to allow the request. How interesting.”
From behind me, I heard Grindspike’s angry voice. “This is not over! You will pay for this, all of you! Especially the young one.”
“Boy, are you gonna be disappointed,” Elganbok said to him.
This was it, the moment I’d been waiting for. I was finally going home. I could hardly believe it. I stepped forward and gripped both handles of the trophy. I looked back over my shoulder at my new friends one last time. Baerwald had a giant grin on his face. Literally. Elganbok was giving me a big thumbs up and a wicked smile. Slipknock and Grelda were hugging each other and waving goodbye. And Brunda was crying and blowing her nose. She stopped blowing her nose when she saw me looking at her and started waving goodbye with her handkerchief. Snot flew off of it in every direction. The other ogres scattered, dodging out of the way of the flying ogre mucus.