by Gail Sattler
They introduced her to a few of their friends, and before long, Mike joined them. Darryl and his family were nowhere to be seen.
She doubted Mike would want to make social conversation, so they politely excused themselves and left.
“How would you like to come to my place for lunch instead of going to a restaurant? Or if you want, I can just take you home, if you’d rather be alone.”
He buckled his seatbelt and turned to her. “It’s going to be okay. Darryl and I had a good talk, but I have some serious thinking to do. In the meantime, lunch at your place sounds great.”
It didn’t take long, and they were soon at her house. “I hope you don’t mind grilled cheese sandwiches. I know we have sandwiches every day, but I can’t think of anything else to make that’s fast, and I’m hungry.”
“That sounds great. Can I help?”
“Sure. What do you want to do?”
He grinned. “Actually, I make grilled cheese sandwiches all the time, and I’m quite proficient at it. How about if you sit down, and I’ll cook lunch?”
Patricia had never had a man make her lunch. It was an offer she couldn’t refuse, so she sat.
Mike rolled up his sleeves. “Where’s the frying pan?”
Patricia stood and pulled the frying pan out of the cupboard, laid it on the element, and sat back down.
Mike checked out the counter. “Where do you keep your bread?”
Patricia rose, walked across the kitchen to the breadbox, opened it, plunked the loaf in front of Mike, and sat back down.
“Where’s the butter?”
She remained seated and pointed to the butter dish sitting on the counter, in what she thought was plain sight.
He removed the lid and looked inside the container. “Where’s a knife?”
She pointed to the cutlery drawer.
“Got cheese?”
“I would think the fridge would be a good place to look.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Isn’t it rude to rummage through someone else’s fridge?”
Patricia got up again, opened the fridge, opened up the cheese compartment in the fridge door, handed it to him, and returned to the chair.
He cut a few slices of cheese and returned the remainder of the block to the wrapper.
“I just thought of something. What about—”
Patricia groaned and covered her face with her hands.
“French fries?”
She thought he should have guessed that frozen French fries were simply in the freezer. “Do you want me to make this lunch?”
He wiped his hands on his pants. “Naw. I’m almost done. But thanks for asking.”
True to his word, soon the sandwiches were sizzling in the frying pan and a tray of fries was in the oven. After she pointed out the cupboard where the glasses and plates were stored, Mike poured the milk all by himself and served lunch. He hadn’t asked if she had napkins, nor did she volunteer any, because that was the one thing she had run out of.
After lunch, rather than sit around, they went for a walk around the neighborhood, not talking about anything important, which was both relaxing and therapeutic.
For supper, Patricia laid everything out on the counter and did all the preparation, and Mike did the cooking.
Usually she attended the evening service, but today she didn’t. Instead, they prayed together, asking for direction and guidance for Mike, and then she drove Mike home.
“I missed you yesterday at church.”
Patricia hit the Save key and nodded. “I went to a friend’s church. I hope you didn’t mind.”
Her father snickered and patted her on the shoulder as he stood beside her, reading the screen she was working on. “Of course I don’t mind. At times I worry that I’m tying you down too much. I like to see you get out with your friends.”
Friends. She still wasn’t sure what was happening between herself and Mike, but it wasn’t just friends. All day Sunday, they hadn’t talked about anything serious. She had given him plenty of opportunity to talk about meeting the man whom he had injured, but he hadn’t. That was okay too. Experience had taught her that people needed time for something like this to sink in before they could deal with it. What he needed right then was a friend, and being with him when he needed her was part of her ministry to Mike.
The biggest problem was that she was getting too attached to him. She didn’t know when it happened, but he had become more than a ministry, and that wasn’t in her plan. She wasn’t sure how he felt about her, or how he still felt about his exfiancée. He had kissed her, but that was at times when his emotions were running high and had gotten the best of him, and she really didn’t know what was in his heart.
When everything should have been clearer, things were only getting cloudier.
Her father checked his watch. “I think your friend is going to arrive any minute. I gather he’s the same friend you went to the other church with.”
“Mmm …,” she mumbled as she typed. She didn’t know what to say to her father about Mike. Bruce’s disapproval was already hanging over her head, and she didn’t want to hear the same from her father. Last night Colleen had phoned after the evening service, wondering where she was. After telling Colleen she had been with Mike all day, Colleen bombarded her with questions about a future with Mike that couldn’t possibly happen.
Once Mike sorted himself out, he would move on to someone more in his social circle, someone who could keep up with his lifestylke, and she wouldn’t see him again.
She didn’t want to think about that.
“Hi, Patty. You weren’t outside, so I thought I’d find you here. Since it was my turn to bring lunch, I didn’t think you’d take off on me.”
She hit Save one more time, and they walked outside to the park bench where Mike emptied sandwiches, juice, and some cookies out of his backpack.
They paused for a short word of prayer and ate in silence. The squirrel came, and Patricia fed it in silence.
When only a few minutes of her lunch break remained, Mike finally spoke.
“I know what I’m going to do about Darryl.”
“And what is that?”
“I phoned him this morning, and we had a long talk. His medical plan while he’s off doesn’t pay as much as his salary, so his wife, who was staying home to look after their two young kids, had to go and get a job. Even though the insurance paid to fix his car, it’s never as good as new, and they only have one car. Worst of all, he’s lost some of the strength and mobility in his arm permanently, which is bad because he’s an auto mechanic. His boss is going to give him a job in the parts department, but that doesn’t pay as much, and it’s not what he wants to do. But he doesn’t have a choice.”
She wanted to tell Mike it wasn’t his fault, but that would have been a lie. It was his fault. He hadn’t intended for this to happen, but that didn’t alter the fact that it had.
“I read somewhere in the Bible, I forget where, that when a man takes something from someone else, he is to repay it all, plus a portion extra. I can’t give him back the full strength of his arm, and he already told me he wouldn’t take money, but I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to pay for him to take some kind of course while he’s off work, so he can get a better job. It’s not much, but it’s the only thing I can think of.”
“That’s a wonderful idea. What did he say?”
“He said no, but I made him promise to talk it over with his wife. I don’t see how they will be able to survive if they don’t. I think he’ll change his mind and accept in a couple of days. I also talked to Claude. He says that this kind of restitution is actually one of the steps that come later in the program. He said he knows how hard it is, but the only way to put all this behind me is to make peace with God, make peace with others, and then to make peace with myself.”
Mike rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands, but he turned his head so he wasn’t facing her as he continued. “Darryl said he forgave me, ev
en before I told him that I would pay for a course. He said God forgave me too, but I don’t know if I can forgive myself. What if I hadn’t ever met Darryl outside of court? What kind of mess would his life be? It’s still not going to be easy for him. The man is a Christian. How could God have let something like this happen to him? Worst of all, I did it.”
Patricia felt a lump in her throat. “I don’t know. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes we know the reason, and sometimes we find out later. Most of the time, we’ll only find those answers when we’re with Jesus in God’s Kingdom.”
He turned, and the anguish in his face nearly brought tears to her eyes.
“I had better go,” he mumbled. He swept the empty containers into his backpack and left before she could think of anything to say.
All afternoon Patricia worked with a heavy heart. Mike was overburdened with guilt, and he was obviously filled with remorse for what he had done. The man he’d hurt had forgiven him. God had forgiven him. Now if only he could forgive himself. She knew from experience that was often the hardest thing to do.
She pulled the AA pamphlet she had marked with the dates of the meetings at Claude’s house out of her drawer. Tonight they would be working on step four “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” In the notes underneath it stated Haggai 1:7— “This is what the LORD Almighty says, ‘Give careful thought to your ways.’ ”
That would be a tough one for Mike. He was already looking carefully at himself, and Patricia didn’t think he liked what he saw.
Blankly, she stared through the office door and down the hall leading to her father’s office. Her father already knew Mike was one of Bruce’s clients, but she didn’t know how much Bruce had told him. According to Bruce, Mike wasn’t the type of man her father or the church would approve of. However, Bruce only knew the old Mike. The Mike whom Patricia knew was a new creation in God’s sight, set apart and called by God to be one of His children.
For now, Mike needed the support of those around him more than she needed the approval of her father or her brother to continue to see Mike for what was no longer strictly ministry. Even more than that, he needed prayer.
She closed her eyes, remembering the way Mike had kissed her. Even though she knew it wasn’t a good idea, she had kissed him back, and she would have kissed him longer if he hadn’t been the one to move away first.
That was wrong. She couldn’t allow him to distract himself from building his relationship with God. How she felt about him had to come second.
Patricia walked into her father’s office. “Daddy, I need to pray about something with you.”
Mike leaned his bike against the church wall and watched Patty trying to feed the squirrel.
It had taken a week, but Darryl had finally accepted his offer. For a few hours, he’d felt better about the way things were going, but then he’d gone to the step five meeting: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
He’d done a lot of wrongs. He hadn’t thought much about it before, but when he lumped together all the wrong things he’d done, he was a pitiful excuse for a human being.
Patty raised her head and waved when she saw him. The squirrel took off.
Mike cleared his throat and strode across the grass, forcing himself to smile, although he felt far from cheerful. When he reached her, he sat beside her on the bench.
“See?” she said brightly. “I scared Sally Squirrel all by myself today.”
His stomach churned. At least that was one rotten thing he hadn’t personally done.
Today it was Patty’s turn to bring lunch. Mike waited while she opened a small cooler on the ground beside her. She pulled out two submarine sandwiches, a container of potato salad, and a small cake, along with paper plates and plastic forks.
Mike blinked and stared at the cake. “Is it someone’s birthday?”
“Nope. Do you like chocolate swirl?”
He looked down at the cake. “Uh, yes. Is it a holiday or something I’ve forgotten about?”
She shook her head. “No. I just wanted to give you something special.”
A lump formed in his throat. He didn’t deserve something special. He stared into the trees while he tried to think of something to say.
Her fingers touching his arm startled him. “I’ve been keeping track of what you’re doing every Monday, and I know what you’re thinking. God has forgiven you for everything you’ve done. All you have to do is lay everything at His feet. ‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’ That’s 1 John 1:9.”
At the meeting last night, Claude had quoted that same verse to him and to everyone there. He tried to respond, but couldn’t.
“God has forgiven you, Mike. Now all you have to do is forgive yourself.” Before she finished speaking, she unwrapped the subs and gave him one. When she closed her eyes, Mike did the same. “Heavenly Father, I thank You for this food, for this day, for the abundance of Your love that You pour down on us every day, and for Your Son, Jesus, who died so that all our sins could be washed clean. Amen.”
“Amen,” he mumbled.
“Now let’s talk about something fun. I want to go out tonight.”
He blinked. “Uh-huh …”
“When was the last time you’ve been to the aquarium?”
“The aquarium? You want to go with me?”
He couldn’t believe it. She actually laughed. “Of course I do. Who did you think I meant?”
He didn’t want to think about that. Even though she’d never talked about another man, he knew there had to be someone out there who was right for her—someone who was more suited to her and more worthy than him. Patty was pure and innocent, and he … wasn’t. He should have been staying away from her. That she was his probation officer’s sister made it worse. He didn’t want to think about her being the pastor’s daughter. Every day he was with her, she brought more joy to his soul. The days he couldn’t see her, it felt like a part of him was missing.
Now, for the first time, it was Patty who was asking him to spend time with her, instead of the other way around. It was an offer he couldn’t refuse.
Mike cleared his throat. “I haven’t been to the aquarium since I was a kid.”
“Then you’re in for a treat. I discover something different every time I go, even though it doesn’t change much from year to year.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it. But isn’t tonight Bible study night?”
“Yes, but Gary and Melinda’s kids came down with chicken pox yesterday, so their house is under quarantine for awhile.”
Mike shuddered at the thought. “What time do you want to go? Tell you what. Why don’t you come over to my place and I’ll cook dinner, and then we’ll go.”
She grinned, and Mike’s heart flip-flopped in his chest. “Depends. Are you going to make grilled cheese sandwiches?”
He pressed one palm to his heart. “You wound me. I told you I’m an accomplished cook, and at my house I know where everything is.”
“Well, praise the Lord for that! Name a time, and I’ll be there.”
He glanced at his wristwatch. He had enough food on hand so he wouldn’t have to go shopping, but if Patty saw the way he kept his house, she’d never come back. “Six?”
“Six it is.”
They shared the cake and he returned home, where he immediately began a flurry of housekeeping. The novelty of cleaning his house himself had worn off quickly, and as he worked, he grumbled to himself that the first thing he was going to do when he got a new job was to hire his housekeeper back.
After everything was picked up and the house was clean, he had a fast shower. When Patty arrived, he was ready.
Chapter 11
Come on in. I hope you’re hungry.”
She smiled as she entered. “Yes, I am. Something smells good.”
Mike patted himself on the b
ack. They’d eaten together so often, he knew exactly what she liked. Patty was easy to please, so what he had prepared wasn’t difficult. Many of the women he’d dated in the past would settle only for the most expensive, and the best, and certainly nothing home-cooked, especially by him. He had once interpreted it as sophistication. He now saw things differently.
What they had talked about last night at the meeting had to do not as much with the rotten things everyone had done but the motivations behind those things. For himself, it was self-centeredness that had driven him—not to succeed financially or have more than everyone else, because he already had more than he needed. Instead, after he sat down and really took a good hard look at himself, he saw everything he did was in some way related to feeding his ego and putting what he saw as his own needs, instead of the needs of others, first.
Starting today, he was going to put others first, beginning with Patty. He would work on the rest later.
Mike grinned. “Don’t be too impressed. It’s just a simple potato casserole recipe my housekeeper gave me because she felt sorry for me. I’m going to barbecue the steaks now that you’re here. Want to come outside and talk to me, since everything else is done?”
He guided her through the house, smiling to himself at her reaction to his preparations. He had used the dining room table instead of the kitchen, and his setting included a tablecloth and cloth napkins as well as a small vase of flowers he’d snipped from one of the bushes in the yard. All in all, considering he’d never cooked dinner for a woman before, he thought it looked rather romantic, and he was quite proud of himself.
The only thing not perfect was that since it was summer, it was still light outside. For an added touch, he would have liked to have had it slightly dark and to have either candles lit or the crystal chandelier on low.
She followed him into the kitchen where he uncovered the steaks which were marinating on the counter and transferred them to a plate. He bit back a smile as she not very discreetly checked out the whole kitchen. He’d carefully cleaned up after himself, including washing the bowls he’d used in his preparations, so nothing was out of place. He’d scrubbed the counters and sink with some kind of cleaner his housekeeper had stashed under the sink and then gone on to sanitize the whole house with it. Just using it made his eyes water, but it was worth it. Everything was now spotless, and the house was the cleanest it had been for a month.