by Mia Villano
We made it through a beautiful, hot, and humid wedding. Cherise and Avery professed their undying love for one another in the July heat under the blazing sun, out behind the restaurant. The tent was set up, the band was there, and the food was being made as I watched my best friend in the world commit to the love of her life. The reception was beautiful and we laughed, danced, and drank until the last guest left and the two love birds prepared to head out to Belize for their honeymoon.
Before they left I had some time alone with Avery. She was standing outside and I went up to her.
“I love you. I want you to know you will always be my first love. If only you were a lesbian and I felt something sexual for you, we could’ve been set.”
“Do you have to be such an ass even on your wedding day?” I laughed through my tears. I wiped my eyes trying not to get my mascara smeared. She looked so gorgeous and so different now. Maybe it was because she was so happy, but she was always happy. Maybe I saw her differently, or maybe she always looked like that I just didn’t notice it until that day.
“You need to be happy, Izz. When I get back from my honeymoon I want to spend some time together. Cherise knows and is fine with our little relationship. I don’t want to hear any grumblings about you being a third wheel or bothering me. I need to be with you too. Please try to forgive Fabrice. I know you are hurt and afraid, but that man truly loves you.”
I nodded my head and hugged her again. She was a gift, a true friend that I wouldn’t want to be without. I didn’t want to let her go. As I hugged her she started feeling heavy. She collapsed in my arms.
Chapter 18
The minute Avery collapsed I started screaming for someone to help us. Her mother came running over to us.
“Help! Someone Help!” I screamed. The entire restaurant seemed to gasp at once. I couldn’t hold her up against me, she was dead weight. I tried to keep standing but fell underneath her. The entire time I was screaming.
“Avery, Avery!” The panic and fear took over my body as her brother lifted her off me. Cherise was there too. She reached down and took Avery from my brother. Someone screamed to call 9-1-1. My parents came over to me and grabbed me as I clawed at Avery trying to get her to wake up. Was she dead? I needed to know she was alive. I needed her to be breathing.
“Avery, Mom make her wake up. Make her wake up!” I screamed.
My mom held me to her. I tried to push away from her. She grabbed my face and looked into my eyes.
“Stop it. Stop it now, Isabella.” I instantly settled down.
I heard the ambulance in the distance. The siren was getting closer. Hurry the fuck up, I thought. Avery’s parents were on the ground holding her along with Cherise. She was lifeless, like a rag doll.
I yelled at them. “Make her stand up. Make her stand up. She will walk if you make her stand up.” I was hysterical. I tried to get to her but my brother came out of the back kitchen to hold me.
“Izzy, it’s okay.” Said Danny.
“No, it fucking isn’t. Let me go!” There weren’t many guests left, mostly family and close friends.
I looked through my teary eyes and saw Sebastian looking at me and he was crying. It was a nightmare.
The paramedics rushed in. I heard commotion and I saw there were two with their white rubber gloves on, their radios broadcasting a call. Then another ambulance came into the parking lot with its sirens on. The gurney was rolled in; I heard the sound of the rollers hit the cement. Avery’s parents were crying begging her to hold on. What the fuck was wrong with her?
They started CPR. I buried my head in Danny’s chest. I couldn’t look at her. She looked lifeless and wasn’t responding. I started to shake uncontrollably. I heard my teeth clanking together from chattering. It was stifling hot yet, I was freezing cold. I felt light headed.
I needed to go follow the ambulance. I needed to be with Avery. Before I said a word, my dad grabbed me and half carried me to his car. My mom in tow and my brothers said they would stay at the restaurant.
I hated the sound of the ambulance. It was ear piercing. I looked inside the ambulance door and saw them doing CPR on Avery still. How long before they said that was enough? Please, please don’t stop, I begged silently. The ambulance sped off and so did her parents with Cherise riding in the back of their car. We followed. I grabbed on to the door wanting to jump out and run next to the ambulance. I needed to know she was still alive. I began to scream again. This time, my mom turned around in her seat to comfort me.
“Izz, settle down. You are going to go into shock if you don’t stop this.”
“She can’t die. She can’t die.” I said this over and over until we reached the hospital. When we pulled in, I immediately opened the door before the car stopped. I barely managed to stand on my feet when I tried to get out. My mom wrapped her arm around my waist to hold me up and yelled for my dad to come over and help us.
“Izz, you aren’t doing any good for Avery acting like this.”
“Izz, get it together before we walk in there.” My dad’s voice settled me down a little and I was able to stand.
“She’s deathly pale, Dan.”
Avery, my Avery. I needed to wake her up. I needed to see her.
We walked into the ER but weren’t allowed in the back. Even in my utter despair I somehow expected that and sat down in a chair among other people.
It was chaos in the back and I saw her parents holding each other and crying. Cherise was with them. Her parents and her brother and sister were in the waiting room.
“Settle down now, Izz. She’s in the best place she can be. Everything is going to be okay now.” My mom sat down next to me. We were all dressed up. My dad had on his suit, his tie undone. My mom had her favorite black suit skirt outfit and I had on an off-white dress Avery picked out for me to be with her while she said her vows. My dress was now smeared with mascara that dripped down my face and I wiped off with my hand.
I looked up at my mom. “Is she going to be okay?” I asked barely able to speak from crying so hard.
My mom grabbed my hand and held it not answering me. I needed her to reassure me she was going to be okay.
“Is she going to be okay?” I asked again.
“I don’t honestly know, Izz. We have to wait for the doctors. This is the best hospital around. Now, settle down before you end up back there.”
We waited and waited. I was about out of my mind completely when her parents came out. I heard Cherise scream.
Chapter 19
Avery’s parents came out. Her dad was holding up Avery’s mom. She barely could stand. She was sobbing and wiping her nose with a tissue.
My dad stood up and went to them. Hoping to find out first before I was hit with the blow. I watched as they whispered and my dad shook his head.
“She’s alive, but barely. They have her in ICU and a machine is pumping her heart for her. They are running tests.”
“Can I see her?” I asked.
“Not now. Not until they know what they are dealing with. The doctor said, Izz, it doesn’t look good.”
The pain hit me in the gut. I felt my stomach grip me and convulse. I threw up.
“I’m sorry.” I said looking up at my mom. Vomit covered her and me both.
“It’s okay, baby. You need me to take you home and get you cleaned up while they are doing what they have to. You aren’t doing her or yourself any good sitting her. Come on.”
I don’t know what happened after that. I remember going home, my mom helping me with my dress. I showered. The hot water warmed my freezing body. My mom helped me put on jeans and a shirt. I was in the condo. The condo smelled like Avery’s perfume. I walked into her room. It was redecorated for her and Cherise. Everything was new inside. The furniture delivered the day before. Cherise’s clothes were in the closet. Suitcases were stacked waiting for them to go on their honeymoon. A honeymoon never meant to happen. I sat down on the couch and put on my shoes. I packed a bag in case they let me stay with Av
ery. My mom said they wouldn’t. I packed Avery a bag with her favorite Marc Jacobs pajamas, her Chanel sweater, and her toiletries I knew she would need them when she woke up. The bag was stuffed full and barely able to drag across the floor when I was done.
“What’s that?” my mom asked. I found her in the kitchen making two cups of coffee. She had taken off her blazer that I barfed on and had on her skirt and white blouse. Thankfully, the blazer was what I hit. I searched her face to see if she knew something she wasn’t telling me. I was relieved when I saw it looked the same before I took my shower. My mom could tell me everything by her face. She knew as much as I did.
“It’s some of Avery’s stuff for when she wakes up. She won’t want to be seen in a hospital gown and without her makeup.” My mom looked at me.
“Here, drink a cup and we will go back. Do you want something to eat?” I shook my head ‘no’. My mom hadn’t been in our condo in a long time. The last time she was there, she stocked the fridge with an immense amount of food.
“I looked in the fridge. How do you two survive? There is nothing in there edible.’” She was nervous and making small talk. She said that last time she was here.
I didn’t answer her.
I sat down at the bar stool and drank my coffee as I waited to be taken back to the hospital. I checked my phone to see if anyone called or texted. Nothing. I laced my fingers around my coffee cup and met my mom’s gaze.
“What do you think is wrong with her, Mom?” I asked.
“I have no idea, Izz. Her parents said she wasn’t unusually sick as a child. She was always healthy. They don’t know. The doctors are running different tests to find out. We will know soon. Did she act sick lately? Could you tell she wasn’t feeling good?”
I sat there for a few minutes and thought. No, there was nothing that told me she was sick. She was working out, going to school, eating, she looked good. She complained she was always being cold, but I thought that was Avery being herself. There are some people that freeze in the summer. Avery was that person. She was always cold since the first week I met her.
I sat there and racked my brain for something that could tell me what happened today.
“You know, she has been tired a lot these past couple of weeks. I thought it was school and the wedding. Hell, I’ve been exhausted too.”
“Was she taking anything?”
I shrugged.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know diet pills, pills in general. Didn’t you say she had that problem awhile back with pills.”
“She did, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. She quit after rehab. She wasn’t taking anything. You know what a health freak she was.”
We sat and drank our coffee in silence. The clock in the kitchen kept time with my thoughts as I kept thinking back the past couple of weeks for anything Avery did that may have been unlike her. My mom looked around the condo. She loved to be nosey. It was in her blood.
“Where did you get that picture over the fireplace?”
I looked up. I hadn’t noticed it.
“Avery must have bought it. Why?”
“It’s amazing.” It was and I never noticed it before. Then I remembered it was a local artist friend of Avery’s. It was of an English countryside with an old vintage bicycle.
“Can we go back now?” I asked. I felt like a twelve year old asking permission.
“Sure, Izz. You feel better?”
“No. I don’t feel better. I feel cleaner. Mom, she can’t die. She is like my sister. I won’t make it if she dies.”
“You will make it. I promise you. This is life, Izz. I tried to protect you from the ugliness while you were growing up. You always had a soft heart and would cry if a pet died or you heard someone died in the news. People die, baby. I pray to God, Avery doesn’t, but it could happen.”
The tears started to fall from eyes again. The thought of not having my best friend in the world with me for the rest of my life was a sickening idea. I didn’t want to listen to this. She was going to live.
I put my hand in my jean pocket and pulled out my St. Jude medal. I held it in my fist and closed my eyes, remembering the prayer I used to say. I kept it in my jewelry box and took it with me when I needed him to work miracles. Today he needed to work one.
“Pray, Izz. That is the only thing you can do right now. Prayer will help you get through this.”
“I am, Mom.” I sobbed.
We drove back to the hospital. Walking in the doors of the ER were heart wrenching. They had taken Avery up to the ICU part of the hospital and her family was there circled around her bed. My mom held my hand as we took the elevator to the seventh floor. I braced myself quietly before walking in. I exhaled and closed my eyes. The beeping of the machines made my heart race. I hated hospitals. She was asleep. Machines were pumping; an IV was in her arm. Her mouth was gaped open with a tube and an attachment hooked to it. My mom squeezed my hand.
Avery’s mom looked up at me and started to sob.
Her dad came up to me and hugged me. Cherise was sitting next to Avery with her face in her hands.
It couldn’t be good.
“The doctor was here.”
I couldn’t handle the news. I had to handle it. I leaned against the wall to keep myself anchored.
“The tests are telling us she has viral cardiomyopathy. They don’t know how it happened. Could have been a virus she picked up and went to her heart. She has the heart of an eighty year old woman.”
“How long will she be in here?” I asked. Not understanding the severity of what she had.
Her dad looked down on the ground.
“They may not be able to fix her, Isabella. She may not make it.”
My mom reached for me.
“The next twenty-four hours are crucial. We have to listen to the doctor and pray to God she pulls through. They are talking about heart transplants and drugs. We don’t know enough yet.”
Her mom started crying again, loudly. The beeping of the machine was making me crazy. It was like a fog horn. I walked over to her bed and looked at her. My Avery, my best friend in the world looked like she was sleeping. She was sleeping and soon she would be better and back home. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The night went on and I stayed at the hospital. I was tempted to call Fabrice. I needed to hear his voice. The voice that made everything better was the voice I longed to have comfort me. He would soothe me, make me smile. I couldn’t call him. Why now? Should I tell him about Avery? Once I called him he would have my new cell phone number. Was it so bad that he did?
I stepped outside in the wee morning with a cup of coffee and my phone. This was it. I dialed his number. It rang. It rang and as I was about to say this is stupid then I heard his voicemail. His beautiful, sexy Parisian voice answered. The sound of his voice made me ache again. How much I missed him. How much I truly loved him. The way he said, ‘This is Fabrice Arbidoux. I can’t answer the call right now, please leave me a message.’ Beep. I hesitated. Should I disconnect? I had a few seconds to make up my mind.
“Fabrice, this is Isabella. I wanted to let you know, Avery is sick, really sick. She’s in the hospital in ICU. They don’t know if she will make it. It’s her heart. She collapsed at her wedding two days ago. I thought you would like to know. I hope you are-” I couldn’t go on. I started to cry and I didn’t want him to hear me crying.
It tore at my heart. I didn’t even know if he was in town. As the day progressed and I sat with Avery, nothing changed. The doctors were still running tests and they had her in an induced coma. Sebastian stayed away from me either because of what happened between us, or because he saw how upset I was and it made him uncomfortable. They decided to go home the next day and Cherise’s parents would stay in town until they heard more of what was happening. Avery’s parents extended the use of the town houses they rented for the wedding for them to stay in. Cherise couldn’t go back to the condo without Avery so she stayed at the hospital with me. At
night, she was on one side of the bed and I sat on the other, both of us in reclining blue chairs. We talked and shared Avery stories. She hates coffee and drinks tea, I found out. After the second night I wanted to go home and get cleaned up. I was in need of a long shower and my bed. Avery’s dad dropped me off at the condo and it was extremely emotional when I put my key in the lock and turned the handle. I expected Avery to be sitting on the floor with her law books or cooking some awful dinner I had to choke down. There was none of that. It was me and a refrigerator full of food my brother brought over the night before. My brain wasn’t registering that Avery may not come home. I couldn’t think about that because I wouldn’t be able to make it. I had to keep telling myself she would be back. Once alone inside the condo, I threw myself on my bed and cried. I cried for Avery, who I may never get to talk to again. I cried for her family, that so loved her. I cried for Cherise who just married her. I cried for Fabrice who I needed so badly and may not see again. My life was unrecognizable.
I buried myself in my bed until it was dark out and my room was enveloped in black. I laid in the darkness alone. Around ten, I took a shower. The hot water felt so amazing when I stepped under it. I didn’t want to get out. How badly, Avery would love a shower. Her poor heart was sick. She couldn’t stand right now and take a shower. The pain hit me again. Then I thought of Fabrice and how he loved to get in the shower with me. How he loved to wash me. He didn’t call me back. It had been a day since I left him the message about Avery and he never returned my call. It was officially over and the fact he didn’t respond only told me so.
I dried off and went into the kitchen. My brother had filled it with pasta, eggs, vegetables, and fruit. Nothing looked good and I couldn’t remember the last time I ate. I didn’t care.
I was exhausted to the bone. I tried to sit up and watch the news. Nothing interested me. I called Avery’s mom to check on her. No change. The doctors would be in in the morning. I checked in with my mom. She said everything was fine there, Sophia was upset over Avery and wanting to cancel the wedding if something happened. We would talk the next day. All I could do was sit there and listen to her. I was too tired to talk to her. Too sad to hold a conversation. I drifted off to sleep sitting up and was wakened by the doorbell. I looked at my cell phone and it was eleven. Who the hell could be at the door that late? Without thinking I opened it.