At any rate, he told Priscilla he would be looking forward to the reunion and he would be driving his new VW.
The last time he’d seen her was a number of years before at a choir performance she was in with her boyfriend at a big Portland high school.
An equal number of years before that is when he met her. Her parents had moved west to start a commercial fishing business with his dad. That is when he had fallen in love with her at first sight and not much later, on an impulse said to her, “When I get older, I’m going to marry you.” Neither had reached their teens at that time. Their time together was much too short for Jake’s liking, only a couple of months.
Her mom became infected with a severe case of homesickness shortly after they arrived and she commenced badgering Jake’s uncle until he surrendered to her unrelenting harangues and they skedaddled back east on Highway-30, the route in which they traveled west.
Shortly after the big skedaddle, Jake’s dad died and a few years after that is when life with the lunatic, Janis, began. That little adventure screwed Jake up royally for three years specifically, and, just in general for quite a few years after that. The one thing he learned after a day, any day, with Janis was that it would not be the worst day he was ever going to have as long as he remained bound to her, guar-an-fuckin’-teed, as ol’ Roy used to say.
“You are even more gorgeous than the last time I saw you,” Jake said when Priscilla greeted him with wide-open arms.
Jeez, I’m still in love with you. It’s been an eternity.
He walked into those outstretched arms at the city park where the Forest and James’ clan had set up with their BBQ’s and red-checked tablecloths with the bowls of potato salad, green Jell-O with carrot shavings, which to Jake, disqualified it as a desert because of the added vegetable, and cold slaw. She introduced him all around to the relatives he had never met and renewed his acquaintances with those he hadn’t seen since he was on that family vacation when he was seven.
“Get some food and come sit by me,” Priscilla said.
One of the devout cousins, of which there seemed to be many, assumed Grace ought to be said and disrupted the beginning of the meal and assumed the “Grace” attitude and in a solemn voice commenced. He was one of the “born again” sort. Jake had heard rumors of his rebirth in one of the smaller groups he mingled with before lunch. He had recently experienced a difficult and expensive divorce and sought solace first in alcohol, then in religion. Neither an inexpensive choice.
Jake had never been sure of protocol in situations as this so he mimicked Priscilla’s lead and bowed his head. Feeling a bit the hypocrite he broke character until Priscilla elbowed him when she peeked and saw that he had given up any pretense of devoutness and was observing the curious ritual wide eyed.
I had a difficult marriage. Damn near didn’t make it out alive. I’d be saying Grace, thanking Him for the divorce; forget about the thankfulness for the green Jell-O with carrot shavings.
He and Priscilla finally got to have a few private words after the crowd dwindled into little groups and Priscilla latched onto his arm and pulled him away from the picnic table.
“I see you passed me by. You must be over six feet,” she said.
“Six-one and three-quarters,” Jake said.
“I’m glad you are taller than I am, Jake. You look so nice.”
“So, tell me what your story is. I assume you’re still with David.”
“Yes, he is such a wonderful man. He couldn’t make it this year, summer school. We got married in Utah and as soon as he finishes graduate school we’re going to start a family. Let’s go for a walk so we can talk.” She took his hand and headed for a trail coursing under the Maple trees leading around the lake.
“So, you didn’t wait for me. Gave up on me, huh?” Jake said.
“I’m Mormon now, Jake” She smiled at him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “We’re planning on having a baby or six and moving to a place where David can find a good job. Well, any job, truthfully. It’s been a difficult slog through school. Someplace like Chicago or Cleveland. Maybe even Des Moines.”
“Why don’t you consider moving to the West Coast?” Jake said. There’s several huge cities there. Portland or Seattle to name the two largest.”
“It is such a long way from my parents. I guess we could consider it. There is one little thing, though, that would keep us away from Portland. David and his mom are not very close. In a word, she is a flaming lunatic. He won’t even answer her letters their relationship is so sour. He won’t even read them. I read them to him and then he tears them to shreds.”
“Well, Isn’t that something. And here I thought Mormons were tight knit family types. I’m intimately familiar with lunatics, though. I married one. It just might be caused by all that rain in Oregon. Of course, Janis wasn’t originally from Oregon so I have really no clue how she became infected.”
“I think it is hereditary, David’s grandfather was not stable and ended up in an asylum. I think it might run in his family.”
“You might want to be careful,” Jake said. How do you know David is not afflicted with some lunacy?”
“Oh, no, not David. He is the most honest, most devout person I have ever known.”
“Those trustworthy people are the potential lunatics, from what I’ve experienced. It is not immediately obvious; it begins slowly and gradually overtakes their mind. Pretty soon, you’re dealing with a Charlie Manson or Ted Bundy. Or at the very least, a two-faced sociopath who will tell you only what you want to hear. That becomes their truth. They are the obsessive-compulsive types. Didn’t you tell me David has an enormous collection of pipes? He doesn’t even smoke, does he?”
“No. He collects them as art.”
“I don’t know, tearing up letters from one’s mom and collecting pipes. That just plain weird. Just be careful, Priscilla. Don’t be so trusting; you’ll end up getting blind-sided.”
“I will be careful, Jake. But, I assure you, there is nothing to worry about. He works really hard and spends most evenings studying at the library.”
“Don’t you let him study at home?”
“Of course, I let him. He says the atmosphere at the library is much more conducive to studying. Besides, I’d know if he was being unfaithful. I could just tell. Maybe we can talk about something else. What have you been doing with your life?”
“I haven’t been too close to home since I left high school and got married,” Jake said. “The marriage was a joke. Of course, you know all about that. I think God was mean-teasing me. Maybe he still is.”
“In more recent news, I have been in Montana for nearly a year now but that could change at any time. It is the fourth Big Richards store I’ve worked in since I graduated from OSU.”
“It sounds like an exciting life for you,” Priscilla said.
“It’s exactly like being in the military,” he said. “I was told where to go for four years by the Air Force and now Big Richards tells me where to go and when to get there. Sometimes I’d have three days’ notice to get to my new assignment, and it may even be in another state. Not too good for the social life. Probably stunting my social development, you know, relationships and stuff like that. A guy never has a chance to make any real friends. As soon as I meet someone, I get transferred and have to start all over again in a new place. They even tell you how to dress. My uniform is a shirt and tie.”
“What do you mean, God is still mean-teasing you? Are you going with anybody now?”
“Well, I am and I’m not,” he said. “I have a feeling it’s not going to end well.”
“Why is that, Jake? You seem like such a wonderful person. I can’t imagine someone would not be attracted to you.”
“There are plenty of girls who are not attracted to me. How much time have you got? That’s a joke. Sort of. But there’s plenty.”
“Well, what is the matter with the girl that you are going with now?”
“Nothing is wrong with Annmari
e, she’s perfect. I don’t think I should say any more though. I’m not sure I want my Mormon cousin hating me.”
“There is nothing in the world that would make me hate you, Jake. That’s the furthest feeling in the world I have for you.”
“Here’s where the mean-teasing comes into play. Brace yourself on a stump or something ... she’s married.”
“Oh Honey,” she turned and took both of his hands. “You must get out of that relationship. That’s can’t be good, for either one of you.”
“I know it. It’s not as easy as you’d think,” Jake said and dropped one hand turned to continue their walk. “Now it’s even harder. I’m in love with two girls,” he said and smiled at her. “I think I know exactly how she feels.”
“Don’t be silly, Jake. Is she going to leave her husband?”
“No, Annmarie told me from the git-go that she is never going to do that. She made a vow and she is not going to break it. She’s Catholic. They’re even stricter than Lutherans. I’d probably be better off if she were a Mormon.”
“Why do you say that, Jake?”
“Oh, no, that wouldn’t work; it’s multiple wives, not multiple men, isn’t it? This religious stuff has me all confused. What is it with all you religious women? She won’t even talk about it. She says we are only to concentrate on us when we are together and not to even think that she is married. I don’t know how she squares it with the Pope. She never talks about it.”
“I just don’t understand that. How can she do such a thing? What about the kids?”
“She doesn’t have any kids,” Jake said. “I know there are a Brazillion things wrong with what we are doing but we can’t seem not to do it.”
“You know this can’t possibly end well, don’t you?”
“I haven’t a clue how it is going to end. Who knows, maybe it won’t end. Maybe we’ll be seeing each other for the next twenty-thirty years. Who knows?”
“Don’t you want more than that Jake? Don’t you want kids and a family?”
“It’s like she says, we just don’t talk about that stuff when we are together. We don’t talk about the future, we talk about now. And now, when I am with her, is perfect.”
“I just hope things don’t turn out badly for you Jake. You are too nice a person for that.”
“You might have a few people who will argue with you on that point. But, I’ll keep what you said in mind. Please keep this on the low-down. I don’t want my nosy, Lutheran relatives knowing what a horrible sinner I am. Now I have to worry about Catholics, not to mention Mormons, not just my own nutty tribe of Lutherans. Christ, there’s not a chance in Hell things will work out. Well, maybe that’s the only place it could work out, come to think of it.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
She pulled him to a stop to look at the two white swans swimming near the shore. They stood quietly for a long time, and then they turned to each other.
“You know, swans mate for life. David told me that.” She glanced both ways down the path. She briefly squeezed his hand. “Oh Jake.” She reached up with both of her hands and put them behind his head and pulled him close and gave him a “not-cousin” kiss. Without a single word, dropped her hands from around his neck, grasped his hand, and they continued their stroll along the path.
Well slap my ass and call me Judy, she still loves me.
Priscilla said in her next letter, “In six weeks, David and I will be graduated. I am so in love with David. My parents are not happy about either my church or with David, but that’s been the case since I was in high school when I first started dating him.”
Jake kept his letters pretty general in nature. For example, he did not talk much about the girls he went out with or that he had slept with damn near every one of them. Of course, they also slept with him but religious people didn’t seem to have the same take on that as he did.
Mormons are pretty strict about sex and, unlike himself, Priscilla had sat in the bleachers during the sexual revolution, never getting into the game. All he could remember from the couple of times he kissed her she sure could kiss good. It was hard for him to understand that someone who could kiss that good could join such a rigid church when it came to matters of sex. He’d heard about those protective temple garments they were all required to wear, even the men. He thought briefly on how quickly Ann or Linda would have shed those protective garments after a few tokes on their invisible sex-weed.
Priscilla must be one bottled-up, horny-ass girl.
“I was completely taken in by the strong family values they have,” she said. “Mormons look out for each other. They’re always so loving to each other.”
Jake received regular letters from Priscilla. She kept him informed about her wonderful life and about the girls she had. Life for her was heaven with David.
That lasted fifteen years, then came “the not happy part.”
Jake began receiving a series of letters, one every several weeks.
“I received a call from the State Police. David was picked up in a stolen car,” she wrote. “They found a loaded gun under the seat. He was arrested. I had to go to the jail and bail him out. I was so embarrassed. He said he didn’t know about the gun and that the car belonged to a friend who let him borrow it.”
Another letter came. “David was fired and I had to take a part-time job in a grocery store.”
“We are seeing a marriage counselor. I am sure we can work it out. David is still looking for work.”
“I found letters,” she wrote in yet another letter. “You were right Jake, he only seemed honest. Apparently, there was not just one woman, there have been several. Obviously, I am not the only one taken in by his smooth talking ways.”
Apparently not all Mormons missed out on the sexual revolution. David was aware of it and, apparently, was not a “bleacher” sorta guy.
“I kicked David out of the house. My girls are really giving me trouble. This is really hard. I keep fighting with the girls and David is no help at all. They are skipping school and I found out from her counselor that my baby was caught with a marijuana cigarette. And, that’s not the worst of it all, my oldest is pregnant and is dropping out of school.”
“I left the church,” she said. “I tossed those horrid garments in the trash and, needless to say, we are no longer seeing the marriage counselor.”
Jake spotted Priscilla standing on the dock, next to the Light Ship turned museum. She was the tallest of the group of four people, Jake’s three aunts, plus Priscilla. When he approached and she saw him, her face flashed a gorgeous smile. They came west for a vacation. It was her mom who suggested Oregon to visit her cousin. Her arms were stretched wide in her unmistakable welcoming gesture.
“It is so nice to see you again, Jake,” Priscilla said. “Fifteen years is such a horribly long time.”
“It has only made you more beautiful, Priscilla. You are as gorgeous as ever,” he said as he slipped into her inviting arms.
The family spent the day sightseeing and everyone went to a restaurant on the waterfront for seafood.
“How about we plan something for the evening? Jake asked.
“I can’t wait,” Priscilla said.
I’ll surprise you with something.”
They left the restaurant and Priscilla, her mom, and his aunts retired to their motel room and he went to his apartment for a change of clothes.
Priscilla was watching from the motel window and came out and got into Jake’s Toyota pick-up before he had a chance to get out. She reached over and gripped his arm. “What do you have planned?”
“There is live music at the Thunderbird Lounge. How about we go dancing?”
“That sounds wonderful. I never turn down a chance to dance.”
He pulled out of the motel parking lot and headed across town and in fifteen minutes they were walking across the wooden planks of the pier at the waterfront and into the dimly lit Thunderbird Lounge. The Lounge normally booked rock and roll bands but on this
weekend they had a country band, “Lance Vance and the Goddamned Liars.” They were into their first set. The dance floor was empty.
“There’s a table,” Priscilla said and pulled on his arm and wound their way to a table where an elderly couple had just left. “This is perfect.” The table was close to the dance floor and away from the speakers. When the waitress came, he ordered a Bud and she a Chardonnay.
“Oh, Jake, this is just wonderful. The band is really good.” She latched onto his hand and led him to the empty dance floor, ignoring the unwritten rule of waiting till everyone was soused before stumbling onto the dance floor.
“It’s really nice to dance with someone my own height,” Priscilla said and held him close, resting her head on his shoulder while they slow-danced to a Waylon song.
“Would you like to walk on the pier and look at the ships on the river?” Jake asked when the set ended. “We can cool off a bit.”
Priscilla was on her feet before he finished the question. “I’d love to.”
They put napkins over their drinks and wove their way to the exit and into the rare warm night on the riverfront boardwalk along the Columbia River.
They held hands in a very “un-cousin” way as they walked down the gangways to the floating walkways. Fishing boats were moored on side floats on each side of the main walkway. The port holes of many of the boats were glowing from the dim, battery operated lights and the sound of boisterous people talking, drinking, and listening to music floated across the water.
“This is almost too romantic,” Priscilla said. “What a wonderful surprise, Jake. Thank you for being so nice to me.”
The Trouble Way Page 28