“Oh Zane,” I moan when he bites my nipple.
I push off his cut and pull at the bottom of his shirt, slipping it over his head. His heated eyes search my face and I simply nod. He unbuttons my jeans and slips them down my legs, along with my panties. I step out of my shoes so he can get it all off of me. I want to be completely exposed to him; no, I need to be. I study his incredibly built upper body. The way his muscles flex with every move, the dark tattoos decorating his arms and chest. I work on getting his jeans down his legs and before they are off, he lifts me and slams his hard cock in me.
“Yes,” I shout.
He begins to move, slowly at first. His dick unhurriedly sliding in and out. It’s too much and not enough. My nails dig into his back and he lets out a groan. His eyes are focused on where we are connected. He’s watching with heat in his eyes. I go between studying his face and watching his amazing body move. His eyes drift up to mine. Once they meet, he picks up his pace. He starts moving faster, slamming into me harder. My body is burning with desire, burning with the need for more. I moan out and he slams my back into the tree. He’s relentless now. He is pounding into me, hard and fast. I give myself to him completely and he knows it. He fucks me like he owns me.
I can’t fight the building I feel in my stomach. I know I’m going to come soon and knowing my body like he does, he knows it too. He reaches down and rubs my clit, sending a shot through me. “Fuck,” I moan.
“You feel so fucking good, Harper. I want to feel you come on me,” he groans out. He continues to pound into me and when he pinches my clit, I know it’s coming. “Look at me,” he demands.
Our eyes lock and I explode around him. “Zane,” I shout.
He doesn’t move his eyes from mine as my body rips in half. My orgasm continues on as he keeps up his pace. I reach down and cup his balls and it sends him over the edge. “Fuck,” he moans.
We hold tightly to each other while we recover. His hands dig into my ass and mine drag up and down his back. He moves his mouth to mine and we share a kiss. A slow, passionate, long kiss. It makes my heart race and my need starts to grow.
“I wanna show you something,” he says, putting me down on my weak legs. We get dressed. He helps me with a grin on his face and I can’t help but return it. When we are fully clothed again, he grabs my hand and walks me around to the other side of the tree. He flicks his lighter and my heart pounds against my chest. It’s the carving he put in this tree, probably ten years ago. Z + H.
“I can’t believe it’s still here,” I say, running my finger against the deep carving.
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses my head. “I told you, babe, some things stand the test of time.”
I turn my head to him and my eyes bounce between his. “What are you doing, Z?”
“I’m trying to enjoy being here with you,” he replies.
My instincts kick in and I push him off of me. I’m starting to feel mixed up and I don’t fucking like it. “You think I’m some soul stripper? That I’m going to fall to my knees because Zane Madden fucked me? Doesn’t work that way with me. You should know that by now. So tell me what the hell this little reunion is about,” I yell.
He runs his hand through his hair and walks away from me. I cross my arms, waiting on him to say something. It takes a few minutes of him pacing before he even looks in my direction. He lights a smoke and steps toward me. “This little reunion was about my fucking emotions getting the best of me. I can’t stay away from you, Harp. But, I sure as hell can’t be with you. I’m twisted up, don’t you get that? Don’t you fucking understand?” he shouts.
I blink back tears at the understanding. “I get it, Zane. You think I don’t wish things could be different? That we could be together and it wouldn’t start a fucking war? I’ve wished it more times than I can count. But, this,” I say waving my hands around. “It doesn’t do anything but hurt us both more.”
He once again turns away from me and finishes off his cigarette. He squats down and holds his head in his hands. It breaks my heart seeing him like this. The pain is too familiar. I go to him and squat in front of him, pulling his hands away. I hold them in mine and press a tender kiss to his lips. We both fall to our knees and hold each other. His hands are holding tightly onto my hair and mine are squeezing his neck.
“Why did you come back?” he whispers.
Tears sting my eyes at the pain in his voice. “I couldn’t stay away.”
“From me or your club?”
“What do you want me to say here?” I ask.
“I want the truth, Harp,” he pleads.
I close my eyes tightly and hold on even tighter. “My club.”
It kills me to say it, but it’s the truth. That’s what he wanted. There’s enough lies and secrets between us. I won’t lie about my personal shit when he asks me not to.
“Good,” he says and pulls away. “Come on, let me get you home before it gets too late.”
We ride home and I can’t stop thinking about how he makes me feel. I know when he drops me off I need to let go of him and I’m not ready to, not by a long shot. I still don’t know what tonight was about, but I hope it was closure. For us both.
Chapter 5
Zane
“Not that I’m not loving the visit, but what are you really doing here, Zane?” my mom asks.
I sip my coffee and lean back in the kitchen chair. “I just wanted to check on you, Ma.”
It’s not entirely true and she knows that. Not because I don’t stop by to check on her, but because she’s my mom and can tell something is wrong. It’s a gift or maybe a curse. She knows this life very well. I think sometimes she misses it, but she’ll never admit it. She doesn’t miss the violence, but she misses the bonds.
“Tell me what’s going on,” she pushes.
I blow out a breath and run my hand through my hair. “Harper is back.”
“Fucking hell,” she mumbles. “Zane, I love you more than anything else in this world, so listen to me when I tell you to stay away. It’s not good for you, for her, or for the club. You know damn well it’s something that can’t happen.”
“It’s not that simple,” I whisper.
She gets up and goes over to the sink. Her hands grip it as she looks out the window. “Nothing that has to do with the club is simple, Zane. You have a huge heart, bigger than most, but she’s gonna get you killed.”
She’s right about that. Especially after the other night. I had no idea what my intentions were when I sat in her driveway. Not until I saw her. When I got her on the back of my bike again, it was all instinct after that. Memories. I haven’t fucked anyone that made me feel like she does and that shit fucks with you. I need to get my head on straight and stop thinking with my dick. That’s what I’m hoping this visit does.
“If being with Dad meant destroying everything you loved, would you still have done it?” I ask, truly wanting to know the answer.
She turns around and looks at me with sad eyes and a small smile. “I would have done anything to be with your father.”
I laugh and stand up. “That’s what I thought.” I give her a kiss and she wraps her arms tightly around me.
“Zane, just be careful. I can’t lose you too.”
I pull away and nod my head. “I’ll call you. Love you, Ma.”
“I love you too, my sweet boy.”
When I get outside my phone rings. “Yeah?”
“Souls, now,” Enzo says and hangs up.
“Shit.”
When I get there, I light a cigarette and walk inside. Kace grabs my arm as I walk in and gives me a look I know all too well. Brooks is pissed about something. I just nod and we both walk into the room and sit at the table. Everyone is here and I have no fucking idea what is going on.
“Kingsley’s guys left a message at our goddamn door step,” he says and slams his hand down.
“What?” I ask.
The room is filled with smoke and everyone seems to be as
clueless as me. Except for Enzo. It pisses me off that I wasn’t told beforehand, but my uncle is a selfish prick and I shouldn’t expect anything less. Pictures fly across the table as Brooks tosses them. We start picking them up and I shake my head. They are all pictures of not only some of our regulars but a few of our girls.
“What the fuck?” I ask.
“He included a closed sign too, for good fucking measure,” Enzo says.
“Let’s get over there. Show that son of a bitch he’s starting something he doesn’t want,” Kace says.
Brooks looks at me and I raise my eyebrows. “You need to move shit along with Harper. We don’t have time to sit and wait. We need to know something, damn it,” he yells, hitting the table once again.
“Don’t put all this shit on me. I told you it wasn’t going to be easy. I can’t force her to tell me club secrets. She’s here for her club, not me.”
“Make her change her fucking mind,” he hisses at me. He turns his focus to the rest of the table. “Wait for some of his girls. Bring them here, take them home, go to a fucking hotel, I don’t give a shit. I want a goddamn porn collection of pictures tomorrow from all the shit you got them to do to you.”
“Pay for pussy?” Reid asks.
Brooks lights a smoke and grins. “I don’t give a shit how, just get it done. I’m tired of this asshole.”
We talk a little more and when the guys leave, most with smiles for the chance at getting pussy tonight, I stay behind. I close the doors and lean my hands on the table. “I’m your right hand man. I shouldn’t be finding this shit out like I’m not.”
We stare at each other and he finally looks away. “Yeah, alright. I just really need you, Z. You’ve got to get Harper talking.”
I sit down and shake my head. “I’m doing what I can. She’s not some Soul chick. She’s smart and knows this life. I can’t just start asking her shit. I’ll call her on the prepaid and see if she’ll meet me tonight. Maybe I can get something.”
“Good,” he says as I stand up. Just as I go to open the door, he calls my name. “Your aunt wants you and your mom over for dinner. Set it up.”
I agree and walk out the door. Not a night I’m looking forward to, but it’s all part of the life. Family.
I call Harper’s house from the prepaid phone when I see she’s home. It rings a few times before she answers. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me,” I say.
“Fuck, are you insane?”
I laugh and move closer to her backdoor. “Absolutely. Now, open your backdoor.” With that I hang up.
It takes her a few minutes, but she finally opens the door. I smile and step inside. As I take in the place, she quickly locks the door and pulls the blinds shut. It’s a nice place. It’s all open. The kitchen, dining area, and living room are all gray and white. Makes me smile because they are her favorite colors. I wonder briefly how many people know that little bit of information.
“Zane, what the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to get us both killed?” she yells, pacing.
I turn to face her and my goddamn heart stops. She looks beautiful. Her long hair pulled up, no makeup, and a T-shirt just long enough to cover her round ass. I look at her and all reasonable thought is lost. It takes me back in time. Back when we wanted to leave and start our own club. I’d be the king and she’d be my queen. Childish shit, but it’s memories I only share with her. When I look at her now, surrounded by her gray and white, it makes me smile.
“I’m definitely not trying to get you killed, babe,” I say, sitting down on her black leather couch. “Looks like mine.”
She blows out a frustrated breath and sits next to me. “I know.”
“You remember, huh?”
“Z, I remember everything. But, we don’t have time for a trip down memory lane.”
I rest my arm behind her on the couch and grin. “It’s such a sweet trip.”
“What the hell do you want?” she asks again. She’s got heat in her eyes, anger in her voice.
I chuckle and squeeze her shoulder. “First of all, I’m not a fucking idiot. I know how to get somewhere unseen. Stop worrying. I promise you, no one saw me. But, I’m here because I need your help.”
She shifts on the couch uncomfortably. “What the hell could I help with?”
“I need you to come to dinner with me,” I say with a smile.
“Sure, let me go get dressed. Should I just put a fucking black dress on so I’m already dressed for the funeral or what?” she asks, pushing my arm away.
“Stop acting like I’m going to put you in the firing line.” I move closer and grab her face in my hands to make her look at me. “I’d take the bullet.”
Her eyes fill up with tears and I press my lips to hers. Our tongues connect and she moans in my mouth. I hold tightly onto her hair as her fingers hold onto the bottom of mine. I kiss her, hard, letting her know how I feel. At least trying to let her know. I need her to trust me, to realize I’m not putting her in harm's way.
When we break the kiss, I rest my forehead on hers. “It’s just with my mom. I told her you were back. She misses you, Harp. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”
“What is this, Z? You just wanna pick up where we left off? Family dinner with your mom, that’s relationship shit,” she says, searching my eyes.
“Is that such a bad thing?”
She smiles and kisses the corner of my mouth. “No, baby, it’s a deadly thing.”
I lean back and stare up at the ceiling. “Harper, do you trust me at all?”
“Yes,” she breathes out.
I think everything through. I’m going to show my hand here and if she freaks out, I’m done. It’s a risk, but I think it’s one I need to take. Brooks wants me to hurry shit along, it can’t be done like this. We can’t move forward sneaking around like this. We need to be able to be somewhere other than the woods.
“My club knows,” I say, daring a peek at her.
It’s completely unnecessary though. She jumps off the couch like it’s on fire and I slowly sit up. Her hands are over her mouth and her eyes are huge. Just as I’m about to speak, she rushes down the hall and I hear a door slam shut. Shit. I go after her and realize she’s in the bathroom. The door across from it is her bedroom, so I sit on her bed and wait. I have to clean this up and fast. I’ll lose her before I even get her.
When the door opens, she walks into the bedroom. “Get the fuck out.”
“Babe, just listen,” I start.
“No, you listen. I came back for my club. You want to keep living in the past. I’m moving forward and that doesn’t include you.” She sits on the bed, all the anger gone. She places her hand over my heart as a tear runs down her cheek. “I love you, Zane. I will always love you. Please know I’m not doing this to hurt you. It’s to protect you.”
“I don’t need you to protect me, babe. I’m done letting everyone tell me how to live my goddamn life. I’m taking the risk, because I’m willing to lose everything for you. I let you go once, I’m not doing it again. I tried to move on, but I can’t. I couldn’t figure it out, not until I saw you again. It’s because I belong to you. Just like you belong to me. No one is going to tell me who to give my heart to. I gave it to you years ago,” I say, sinking down to my knees in front of her. “I know I have your heart too, babe.” She’s crying and I lay my head down in her lap. I need her to believe me. I can’t lose her, there’s too much at stake. “My club knows that you’re back. They also know what I want and they aren’t going to do shit about it. I talked with my uncle, told him that I’m moving forward with you. I only made one request, nothing happens to you. I have his word, babe. You need to trust me on this one.” I grab her hands and look up at her from my knees. I kiss her knuckles and squeeze her hands.
I can read her like a book, but right now I’m lost. She’s crying and looks from me to the ceiling. I have no idea what she’s thinking, but I hope that she’s where I am. If I just fucked this up, Brooks will burn down her club fa
ster than a fucking blink. I need the upper hand here. Without it, we’re both fucked.
“Baby, I don’t know how you think it’s going to work. Even if your club accepted it, which I have my doubts, mine never will. My father will kill us both before he lets it happen. It’ll be nothing but sneaking around and waiting to get caught. I can’t do that and you deserve more,” she whispers.
Here’s my chance, my chance for any tangible information. “Your old man is always out of town for business, weeks at a time. When’s he leaving next?”
“Next week, but you know there’s always someone watching,” she rushes out.
Next week, fuck. That’s something I can work with. “For how long?”
“A few weeks. It’s club business, Z, I can’t say anything else. Hell, I only know bits and pieces.”
It hits me like a fucking Mack truck. I know exactly how to play it all out and how to make sure it doesn’t blow back on her. I smile as I stand up, pushing her down onto the bed. I crawl on top of her and kiss her neck. Her legs wrap around me, so I reach down and pull her shirt off. I growl when I realize she’s naked underneath. I quickly pull off my shirt to feel the warmth of her body against mine. I grab onto her hair and yank, pulling her head to the side. She lets out a moan as I continue to suck and kiss her neck. Her nails dig into my shoulders and it’s a welcome pain. I move down her sexy body, worshipping every inch. Her tits are sensitive to the touch of my mouth and when I suck on her hard nipples she nearly shoots off the bed. It’s a powerful feeling seeing the effect I have on her. A feeling I’m craving more and more.
I keep moving down to her slim, tight stomach. My tongue traces over the pink skull she has on her lower left side. I held her hand the night she got it. It was a turn on being there for her first and only tattoo, even if it is to symbolize her club. She knows what I’m thinking or I believe she does as I trace it. She sighs and runs her fingers through my hair. I place a soft kiss on it and move between her legs. I can smell her arousal and it makes my dick even harder. I move to the floor and on my knees, pulling her to me. My fingers sink into her thighs as I push them far apart. Her pussy is dripping wet and I can’t take my eyes off of it.
Shattered (Shattered Souls MC Book 1) Page 3