by Tara Oakes
“I can’t believe how beautiful you are,” he says in astonishment.
I close my eyes and listen to the sounds, picturing the man who used to sit by my bedside at night, tucking me in. Sometimes he’d tell me a story of when he was a young boy in Italy. Sometimes he’d tell me a fairytale. But he’d always manage to lull me to sleep with his velvet-like voice.
“You look just like momma.”
“D-does she know?” I open my eyes to gauge his reaction to this question. “Does she know that all these years, while she’s been crying her eyes out at night missing you, raising your children alone, that… that you’ve been here?”
I hear the anger rise in my voice and do my best to keep it in check, although I find that it’s a struggle.
“And John?” I add to the list of questions. “Does he know that the family he’s been heading, handling the burdens for, giving up his youth for to become man of the house… does he know how you just left it?”
I don’t give him a chance to answer.
“How about Tony? Does he know? Does he know that his daughter’s grandfather is here, too busy picking grapes to attend his own granddaughter’s Christening?”
“Then there’s Mike. He and I used to band together and keep each other busy on Father’s Day when all of our friends were giving their dads cards or ties. We would make up little games to keep our minds off the fact that you weren’t there. We were the youngest. We didn’t have as much time with you as John and Tony did. Does he know?”
I’m on a roll, why stop now.
“Dom,” I suddenly come to an uncomfortable possibility. “Did he know? All those nightmares I would have of people being blown up! Did he know that it was all for nothing? That it never really happened? That you were here every single one of those nights?”
“No,” his once velvety-smooth voice now sounds feeble. “No one knew. Not until a few days ago.”
I don’t believe him. I have no reason to trust him.
“Why?” I lean forward and throw my glass into the nearest tree, letting it break into a million little pieces, just like my faith in him.
Dom runs out of the building, having heard the commotion but stops far enough away to assess the severity of things before intervening.
The man sitting before me hangs his head, accepting blow for blow.
“Because it would have cost you all your lives.”
I jump back in surprise at his answer.
~*~
I still don’t understand all of this. It’s like some crazy movie. I mean, things like this don’t happen in real life… do they?
“What do we do now?” I ask him.
Two hours have passed, and I’m no closer to the answer to that question than I was in the beginning.
He holds my hand delicately, as if I were a porcelain doll at risk of breaking.
“We don’t do anything, my sweet little girl. You go home, back to your life and I stay here. You’ve given me something I never thought I’d be able to feel again, Vincenza.”
My eyes watch him in question.
“Family. The love of family. I made my choices. I have to live with the consequences. But… now I know just how right I was in doing what I did. I wanted so much for all of you. And everything you’ve told me… you all seem so very….”
“We are dad, we are,” I assure him. “But, surely there has to be a way---”
He shakes his head. “There isn’t, Baby V. Trust me. There’s nothing more that I want than to get back everything that I lost. But, the cost is too high. More than I’m willing to pay. I love you all too much to put you at risk.”
I refuse to accept his answer. “But, Dom. He has power. He can help. He’s… he’s… a boss now.”
My dad smiles. “I know. I know. You look tired, V. We’ve talked about so much, I know it’s a lot to take in. Let me talk to Dom and see what we can figure out.”
Yes. That’s it! Dom can help figure this all out.
“Baby!” I call over to where he’s been watching like a hawk. He leaves his sister and comes to me.
“Things look much better over here,” he takes a seat next to me.
I nod. “They are. My dad was just saying how you two can figure something out.”
~*~
DOM
Her eyes are so full of hope. I don’t have the heart let her down, so I say nothing instead. I take her hand and hold tightly.
Guiseppe and I share a look of understanding.
“Let’s see what we can do. How about you let Theresa and Carmine take you back to the hotel, and I’ll stay here and talk to your dad some more.”
I can see the circles growing under her eyes. I know this day has taken a toll on her, and the best thing for her right now would be some rest so she can process everything.
I can see the hesitation as she doesn’t want to leave either of us.
“For the baby,” I pull out all the stops.
She exhales. “Fine. But Papa,” she turns her attention back to her long lost father. “I’ll be back first thing in the morning.”
He smiles. “I know you will, Vincenza.”
He reaches forward to hug her and she accepts his fatherly affection without hesitation. It warms my heart to see her like this, to see this dream come true for her.”
They both hold tight, tears falling freely.
He finally pulls back as she’s unwilling to let go herself. “I am so, so proud of you, my Baby V.”
She sniffles her tears. “I know, dad.”
I let the two of them take their time in saying their goodbyes, knowing that it’s a lifetime’s worth of farewells rolled into one.
Guiseppe stands next to me as we watch the small red car head off down the drive. I can see V turn in the back seat and watch through the windshield until we’re out of sight.
We’re both quiet. There’s no rush to say what has to be said. So, instead… we avoid it.
“You a bourbon man like your dad?” he finally breaks the silence.
I raise my eyebrow. “From time to time.”
He has a quiet determination to him. “I’ll get the bottle. We’re gonna need it.”
~*~
We both laugh heartily.
“She must be going out of her mind!” Guiseppe slaps his knee. “She swore she would never retire. Ever.”
I take a sip of the iced water I’m using to sober up.
“She didn’t really have much of a choice. I made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.”
The mob quote causes us to laugh even louder, harder. We’ve moved our little meeting inside once the sun had set.
“She was the best secretary. Hands down,” Guiseppe fondly remembers Ellen.
I nod in agreement. “That she was. I couldn’t have done it without her.”
He swirls the brown liquid around in his glass. “So tell me, son. You sure about all this? This isn’t what your dad… or I… wanted for you.”
He has no idea how complicated that question is.
“What can I say? It was meant to be, I guess. Kind of like a family legacy.” I try to make light of the situation.
A serious tone settles between us.
“Take a look around, Dom. This is what that family legacy gets you.” He lifts his chin to either side, indicating what he’s referring to. “My daughter deserves better than this. She couldn’t help who her father was… but she’s too strong of a woman to sit back and let it happen to her child, too. You know that. You must. I’ve only spent a few hours alone with her and I can tell she’s got a strong will. You stay in this life and it’s going to cost you. One way or another it’s going to cost you.”
He speaks the truth. It’s something I’ve know for a while, but have been too afraid to face.
“I know. I just couldn’t find a way out. Something else would come up and it wouldn’t be a good time. First Rizzo, then Moretti. Someone threatening V, finding out the commission was behind your murder---”
He int
errupts me. “It’s never going to be a good time, Dom. Trust me. Every day you’ll think tomorrow will be when you can get out. And tomorrow will never come. You’ll either be six feet deep or alone in hiding before that day ever comes if you keep waiting for it.”
He gives me some more cold hard truths. “There’ll always be some new threat, some new thug on the rise. It’ll never stop. There’s no happy ending here, Dom. Your dad tried to tell me the same thing. I was too stubborn, too determined to listen, to believe him.
“You’ve stepped in and taken care of my baby girl. I need to know she’s in good hands. That she’ll never have to go through what I put my wife through… mourning at an empty gravesite. Get out while you can. The day may come where it’s not an option, and you’ll be sitting there… a lonely old man having to live with your mistakes and willing to give anything,” his voice cracks, “to go back and do it differently.”
I listen to every word he says and I can’t help but notice the sorrow, the deep regret lacing through every syllable.
“Tomorr-” he begins, but I hold my hand up to stop him.
“Don’t.” We both know what’s got to happen. I can’t let him actually tell me though. I won’t be able to look V in the eyes ever again, knowing I held it back
from her.
He nods, understanding my objection.
“You’re a good man, Dom. You’re a good husband. You’ll be a great father. And I know you’ll make your dad and me both very proud.” He holds his glass. “To family.”
“To family,” I toast him.
~*~
“Come on, slow poke!” she eggs me on. “I could ride a bike faster than this.”
I object. “I’m going the speed limit.”
She laughs.
“Since when do you go the speed limit?”
She’s got a point. I press a little on the accelerator. The morning is nowhere as nice as yesterday’s weather was so the top is up. We left the rest of our party behind at the hotel to finish up breakfast. I made sure to get up extra early and check that they were each in their own respective rooms.
It’s one thing to do something behind my back. It’s another all together to try something while under the same hotel roof as me. Carmine is too smart to try something like that.
His body would be left behind in Italy and we’d leave without it.
“I can’t wait till momma sees him,” V speaks while looking out the window as the small white building comes into focus in the distance.
I don’t say anything. She doesn’t notice, though, thankfully, as she’s too wrapped up in her plans.
We barely make it to a complete stop in the empty lot. The old car that yesterday was in the corner spot is gone, but she hasn’t noticed yet. She leaves her sweater and bag behind, anxiously running on ahead.
I follow but keep a little bit behind, letting her enter the building under my watchful eye.
“Papa?” she calls from inside.
I feel a raindrop settle on my arm but I remain in place.
“Papa. I’m back,” she calls again.
It takes a moment before she exits, hugging the perimeter of the building to follow the path back to the patio area where she had met him yesterday. Another drop falls, this time on my neck. I look up to the sky and see the clouds rolling in, darkening the horizon.
“Dad?” she calls louder. “Are you back here?”
She moves quickly to the shaded area, now dark and foreboding. Turning to me, she looks frantic.
“Where is he?” she asks.
I don’t have the heart to tell her. I shake my head that I don’t know.
“No,” she exclaims. “You talked to him. It was going to be OK. You were going to figure something out, remember? Where is he? Where did you send him?”
I pull her close and hold her tight while she releases her demons. I feel the dampness on my chest and hear her sobbing.
“Shh….” I try to calm her.
She balls her hands into small fists and beats against my chest, pushing me back. I lose my footing but continue to hold her.
“What did you do to him? What did you say to him?” She’s angry.
“V. Baby, you have to listen to me.”
She shakes her head. “No. I don’t have to listen to anything.”
“He did what he had to do, V. He had a choice. I couldn’t make it for him. He needed to make sure his family would still be safe. He couldn’t risk it.”
Her frail shoulders quake and convulse violently as she finally gives in and lets me hold her the way I want to. The way she needs me to.
“When will he be back?” she asks, muffled into my collar.
I exhale. “I don’t know, baby. I don’t know if he’s coming back.”
The raindrops begin to fall faster, rustling through the leaves above on their descent.
“I’ll wait,” she says firmly.
I kiss her forehead. “We’ll do whatever you want, V. But, he won’t be returning while you’re here. I know him well enough to know that.”
I shield her with my body as much as I can from the quickening rain. Tiny puddles form near our feet and the new droplets make small splashes.
It’s not cold, but she begins to shiver in my arms. I can hear her teeth chattering, and know it’s not from chill. It’s her body releasing the mixture of conflicting emotions.
“Take me home,” she gives in, defeated.
~*~
“How is she?” Theresa asks.
I shake my head, not knowing how to answer.
“We’ll be ready in twenty minutes. I’ll go let Carmine know.” She makes a move to walk past me.
I stop her.
“No. Not Carmine. He’s staying. I’ll arrange for another flight to take him to Miami. They can use a man like that down at the new shipyard.”
She shakes my hand loose from her wrist harshly.
“Hell no, Dom. Not this time. I’m not doing it. Doing what you want, what anyone else wants. For once…I’m going to do what I want.”
I don’t have the energy for this after the morning we’ve just had.
“Go. Go without me, then. Because where he goes, I go.” She’s firm.
I bite my lip. “He’s a thug, Tre.”
“Oh, yeah?” she’s quick to answer. “Well, some would say you’re a thug. But V still loves you.”
She’s being irrational.
“I can’t do this, Theresa. I can’t fight you, too.” I’m tired and my voice reflects it.
“Then don’t,” she offers a solution. “Love me the way I love you, big brother. Unconditionally. Let me live my life. Let me be who I want to be, let me love who I want to love.”
“He’ll break your heart,” I tell her.
She smiles. “Maybe. And I might break his. Nothing’s for certain in life, Dom. But I’m not going to let that scare me from living it.”
I listen to what she’s saying and I roll my eyes at her. “When did you become so wise all of a sudden?”
She playfully jabs me in the stomach. “I grew up. You’ve just been too busy to notice.”
“You know I can’t just condone this, right?”
She smirks. “I know. You don’t have to. Just don’t interfere is all I ask.”
She has no idea what she’s asking of me.
“Oh, I’m going to interfere all right. I’m going to interfere all over his ass if he hurts you.”
My baby sister reaches up to peck me on the cheek. “Go get your wife. Take her home. We’re going to stay behind a few days and catch a flight back by the weekend.”
“Don’t you have a job to get back to?” I ask her.
She smirks. “Don’t sweat it. I know the boss.”
~*~
THREE WEEKS LATER
“So how was your trip? You find what you were looking for?” Joe asks me, sitting behind his desk, his embroidered work shirt showing tiny speckles of motor oil stain.
“You could say that,” I fumble
and play with the letter opener in my hand. “I brought you back some wine as a souvenier.”
He sits back, reclining in the old chair. “Oh yeah?”
I nod and reach down into my bag, withdrawing the bottle by the neck and placing it down on his desk with a heavy thud. He eyes the brand and smiles knowingly.
“So, you did find everything you were looking for.”
I knew it. I knew my father wouldn’t have been able to have carried out his plan by himself. He would’ve needed someone he could trust, someone loyal to help him, but, someone who wasn’t too close to be watched by the feds.
The only person who would have fit that bill, who stayed loyal to our family, is the man sitting before me.
If it were anyone else, my father-in-law would have been turned into the commission long ago.
“You’ve been loyal to my family for a very long time,” I compliment and thank Joe.
“I took an oath long ago,” he replies.
I nod. “You did, “ I acknowledge. “And you kept that oath for a long time when many others abandoned it. And that’s why I’m promoting you.”
He sits up. “What are you talking about, boss?”
I shake my head and smile. “I’m not the boss anymore. You are. I’m stepping down. The commission’s already given their approval. You’re heading the family and I’m going back to what I do best. Taking care of my family.”
He’s speechless.
“There’s only one condition,” I add.
“Name it.”
He’s going to be sorry he asked that. I laugh.
“Carmine,” I state my terms. “I gave him a choice. He can come with me and go on the straight and narrow, head up the security for ATH. Or… he can work for you. You won’t find a more loyal man. Just like my dad had you.”
I’ve had to learn my way first hand. Carmine will have to learn his. I gave him a choice but he’s got to make it on his own terms. If he chooses to stay in this life, then I want to know he’s working for a stand-up guy like Joe, here.
Joe reaches forward and picks up the bottle, inspecting it. “Did I ever tell you that your dad used to bust my balls like crazy when I was new on the scene?”