by Roni Adams
Tyler turned to the door. Nope. Not him. Cord was the very picture of responsible. He was steady and secure. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that, with Cord at the helm, this ranch was in good strong hands.
* * * *
The tempting smell of bacon and toast greeted Tyler as he entered the kitchen the next morning. Flo flipped pancakes at the stove and added them to an enormous stack on the tray next to her. She sang a Christmas carol as she worked, sometimes almost in a whisper and then at other times belting out the chorus. She glanced up as he joined his brothers at the table.
"I was starting to think that you didn't eat anymore.” Flo put the platter on the table.
Flo's welcome home when he'd caught up with her yesterday after church had made him feel even worse about being gone so long. She appeared to have aged in the time he was away. Her steps were slower in the kitchen, and the lines in her face had deepened, but the strength in her body when she'd hugged him close hadn't changed. The tears that streaked from her eyes made him realize he had a lot of making up to do to a lot of people.
"What do you mean? You were at church yesterday morning, and you weren't here for dinner last night."
Flo drew back and settled her hand on her ample hip. “Don't sass me, boy. I know where I was. It was Sunday morning and at least one member of this family needs to be in that pew. Lord knows I have enough souls to pray for each week.” She leaned forward and pressed her cheek to her husband's. “And Sam decided we needed to have a private dinner, just the two of us last night."
The chuckles around the table made the old man frown, but Tyler didn't miss the affectionate brush of Sam's hand along his wife's backside when she turned back to the stove.
"She doesn't need to cook for you youngin's all week.” He stabbed a pile of pancakes and poured honey over the entire thing.
Cord folded the newspaper and set it aside. “I've been telling her that for years and you know it."
Tyler poured himself orange juice from the same pitcher they'd had on the table his entire life. Around the room, Teddy, Cord, and Sam all sat in the same spots they'd been sitting in forever. Buck's chair was empty, but other than that, the entire scene was the same as it had always been.
It was this type of ‘sameness’ that had driven him off the ranch. He had thought if he stayed another minute he'd suffocate. Nothing ever changed. It was the same routine, day in and day out. Now, however, he found it comforting and realized how much he'd missed the very thing that had driven him away.
Flo set a steaming mug of coffee in front of him. Her old, wrinkled hand settled on his shoulder and squeezed. An enormous platter of bacon, ham, and sausage began to move around the table, passed from one hand to another. He took a helping and continued its route over to Cord.
"What time are the kids arriving Wednesday?” Teddy asked.
"Three,” Cord replied, forking sausage from the platter. “I'll need to be dressed and hidden away before that. Can't have the kids spying Santa ahead of time."
Tyler had made sure he came home in time for the annual Christmas party for the Sweet Meadow Children's Home, a tradition on the ranch started many years before they were even born. Cord and Teddy both sat on the Foundation Board and, though the family gave large sums of money to the Home, the Christmas party was what they enjoyed the most.
"Anyone going into town this morning?” Flo asked, pouring more coffee.
"I need to get in there sometime this week, why?” Tyler tucked into his pancakes.
"The costumes need to be picked up and I ordered a few things at the new candy store. It's at the corner of Main and Second."
"Sure, I can do it."
"Tha—"
Flo's appreciation was cut off by the door banging open. They all looked up as Buck walked in the, flung his hat on the hook on the wall, and grabbed a plate out of the cupboard.
"Don't you have a kitchen of your own and a wife to eat breakfast with?” Teddy complained as Buck sat down.
"Don't you have some hot blonde you should still be rolling around with?” Buck quipped back. He smiled up at Flo as she poured his coffee. “Sara can't stand the smell of bacon right now, or coffee, and I can't eat another bowl of Frosted Flakes.” He grabbed the platter of pancakes and emptied it onto his plate.
Flo brought a heaping platter of bacon to the table—Buck grabbed it first.
"You wanna take a doggie bag back with you, boy?” Sam asked.
Buck grinned and passed the plate. “No, Sir. You just have no idea how good this all looks."
Flo cuffed her husband on the side of the head. “Leave that boy alone. I should probably come down and cook for you two each morning. I could do it after this if I..."
"No!" a resounding chorus argued and Tyler grinned at the surprised expression on the older woman's face.
Flo narrowed her eyes and waved one large finger in the air. “Don't be thinking that any of you can be telling me what to do, or not to do. I'll slow down when I'm dead and not a second before."
Sam shook his head, muttering under his breath.
Their much loved housekeeper grabbed up the empty platter and took it back to the counter. “Besides, I hardly do anything around this place anymore. You hired that outfit to cook for the ranch hands.” Flo spit out the word ‘outfit’ as if it left a bad taste in her mouth. “Susan and Diane are in New York most of the year, and there's only Beth rattling around in the main house.” She harrumphed. “We all know she doesn't eat, so what am I supposed to do?"
That caught Tyler's attention. “Beth? At the main house? Why isn't she living in the one I built her next to the clinic?"
"She's never lived there,” Buck said around a mouthful of pancakes.
Tyler swallowed. “What are you talking about? I was there yesterday. It's definitely lived in. In fact, she had me move one of her patients in there so she could watch the dog all night long. I know she's sleeping there."
"If she slept there last night, that's the first night she's ever spent in that house.” Cord shook his head. “Grant lives there."
The bacon stuck in Tyler's throat and he almost gagged. His neck grew warm as anger built. He'd built that place for Beth, not for the idiot Clark. When she was in college, he'd heard enough of the great Grant Clark. The aspiring vet had been the cause of numerous jealous rages on his part, even though Beth had sworn up and down he was only a friend.
"Ty, calm down,” Cord warned. “Beth wasn't living there, and it made no sense for Grant to move into one of the outbuildings."
Tyler set his fork down, appetite gone. Her words from yesterday slammed back at him—she thought he'd built that place to ease his conscience. Damn stubborn woman. She wouldn't listen to him about why he left, she wouldn't even let him try to explain, and now this. What else was he going to find out about? Was she more than business partners with Grant? Or was she dating Cole? How serious was that whole thing?
His chest tightened. Before he came home, his mind had pictured how this would play out. Beth would be hurt, and mad, and he'd beg forgiveness. They'd talk it all out, he'd explain, she'd be mad for a while, but he'd manage to convince her how much he still loved her. She knew he didn't leave because of her; he'd explained it all in the letter he'd left.
Well, he could be mad too. He'd waited in Abilene that whole season for her. It took until Christmas before he figured out she wasn't coming to him. He had just as much reason to be mad. He at least left a letter, but she didn't even write or call, just left him hanging.
They'd been childhood sweethearts and lovers since they were teenagers. Not once had he doubted her commitment to him or her love. Not in his wildest dreams did he think he'd come back to find her cozied up to Cole, and her idiot friend from college living in the house he'd built. How soon after he left had both of them come slinking around?
But it all made sense. What a fool he was, no wonder she hadn't come to the Circle S.
A chair scraped back, forcing him out of his own head.
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Sam lumbered away from the table. “Maybe ya'll have time to be sitting around jawin’ all day, but I got a ranch to run."
"Oh, okay, old man. No problem.” Teddy laughed.
Sam kissed Flo on the cheek. “I'll see you at lunch."
Flo blushed like a school girl and waved her dishtowel at him. “Go on with ya,” she laughed.
The grizzled foreman leaned down and whispered something to his wife.
Tyler stared at the two, marveling at the love they shared after all these years.
Buck pushed away from the table and settled his hat back on his head. “He's in a hurry to get to the barn so he can take his mid-morning nap."
"As long as he's rested by lunch time,” Flo cackled.
Within seconds the busy kitchen was empty except for Tyler and Flo. He finished clearing the table and stacked the dishes in the dishwasher.
"Did you have a list of what you want picked up at that store?” A drive was just what he needed right now. He waited while she dried her hands on a dishtowel and moved to the refrigerator.
Under a bright magnet she pulled off a slip of paper. “I called this order in, but I decided to get a few more things.” She raised a brow. “You boys don't think I don't listen but I do. I know I need to slow down a bit so, I decided this year to buy a lot of the sweets for the party instead of making them. See there, I can compromise."
Tyler smiled as she handed him the paper.
One dark finger pointed to the inked list. “See these candies here, Beth is insane for them. I try to buy them every time I go into town. In case you haven't noticed, she's way too thin."
Tyler nodded. “She looks like she's lost weight."
Flo narrowed her gaze, and Tyler frowned. Flo was rarely angry at anyone, but he definitely felt like he'd just broken a window.
"She's put on fifteen pounds since this time last year."
Tyler's jaw dropped. “What?"
The older woman nodded. “I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. To be honest, no one can be to blame for what another person does in life, but when you left"—she shrugged—"she stopped eating altogether. For a while, she stopped doing everything, work, eating, everything. All she did was lie in bed or ride her horse. Once Grant got here, he got her working again, but she didn't eat enough to keep a bird alive. That's where Cole came in. That boy and his father got through to her like none of us could. For a time, he was here so much I was going to make up a room for him."
Tyler leaned back against the counter stunned by what he was hearing. It was his fault. He'd done this to her. How could I have been so damn selfish?
Flo patted his arm. “But she's better now. She got some help, and, thank the good Lord, we've got our Beth back. So make sure you get several boxes of those candies, she can't resist them.” The housekeeper reached her hand out to squeeze his arm. “Whatever your reasons for leaving, remember something, Tyler. Family is family, and running away never solved anything. Your problems are always there when you come back. Leaving only delays the fixing of ‘em."
Still reeling from what he'd just learned, Tyler couldn't say anything. No wonder Beth hadn't come to him—she'd been too sick. He couldn't believe his family hadn't dragged his butt home, but then, for a long time, no one even knew where he was.
He frowned. Realizing Flo was still talking, he pulled his attention back to her.
"Can you believe next year will be the fiftieth year the Double B has hosted this Christmas party? I was there you know, at the party when I met y'all daddies. I wasn't even sixteen that first year."
A grin slipped to his lips. Tyler knew the entire story. Everyone did. It was legendary.
Flo and Sam met and fell wildly in love that year and she never left the ranch again. By the time he'd been born, Flo was a long established household member and was married to the ranch foreman. When the accident took both his parents lives, the couple moved in to their home and finished raising the boys.
Beth used to compare the love Sam and Flo had to their own. "We'll be just like them," she used to tell Tyler. "We'll be together our entire life."
But while Sam and Flo had been content to never leave the ranch, he and Beth wanted to travel. They wanted to see what else there was in the world besides Texas, and they wanted to live their lives away from their controlling family. She'd work as a vet and he'd train horses, and they'd never stay in one place more than a few months until they found the perfect place to be on their own.
"We'll never be allowed to grow up if we stay in Sweet Meadow," Beth had said on more than one occasion.
They'd been in full agreement ... until the day her mentor, Doc Pritchard, had handed her his practice.
Flo's pat to his cheek was like a slap atop his stupidity. He never should have left. Beth had gotten sick because of him, Flo was older looking, Buck and Sara were going to be parents for cripes sake, and he wasn't entirely sure where he stood with his brothers.
What was that old saying, you can never go home again?
Why did he think that he could?
* * * *
Beth peeled the disposable gloves off each hand and dropped them in the garbage can next to the stall. “I wish I could tell you everything is going to be fine."
"You don't have to worry about that with me,” Cole said.
She nodded and planted her hands on her hips, appreciating his understanding. “Any horse carrying twins is going to have a hard time, and I don't know too many that are able to take them to term or deliver live, healthy colts."
Cole nodded and rubbed a hand against the back of his neck. A lump formed in her throat. Even with over two years of being a fully qualified veterinarian, she'd never get used to the feeling of helplessness when she was up against nature. Sometimes she'd win and sometimes nature would. In this case, the odds were definitely stacked against them all.
"The good news is, as hard as this is to say, you can try again. You have at least three other mares that would be good matches for Prince.” Beth raked her fingers through her short hair. She'd been hard at work all day when Cole called her to come take a look at the struggling pregnant mare.
"Yeah, I know, but if we can save these two..."
Beth walked over to him. “I'll do everything I can."
"Thanks."
He opened his arms and Beth stepped into his embrace. He needed comfort and assurance and she tried to offer what she could, but, in her gut, she'd already accepted the risks of the horse's pregnancy. Closing her eyes, she settled her head on the familiar chest. When the hug went on a bit too long, she pulled away. Cole let her go, but the expression on his face told him he'd have rather she'd stay put.
"What?” she asked when his smile faltered.
He shrugged. “How are things with Tyler home?"
Beth picked up her equipment. “I don't see him much."
"He's been home a week and you haven't seen him?"
"No, I've seen him. That first night at the LoneStar and a few times after, but it's not like we're sitting down to supper together. I'm out on calls most nights and eat on the road."
Cole touched her shoulder. “Make sure you take care of yourself."
"Don't fuss, Cole. Flo gives me enough grief."
"She worries.” He grinned. “Hey, what are you doing tonight? How about I buy you dinner at that new place we've been talking about trying in the city. We could get all dressed up, make a night of it."
Her first instinct was to say no. She really didn't want to get dressed up and go out. But the eager expression in his eyes told her it would be good for him, and she owed him that. He'd been there for her ever since Tyler left. Cole had been very clear the past year that he wanted more than her friendship; he wanted a true relationship with a promise of a future. Beth had let him know she had no intention of that, but still, he'd been the one to pick her back up after Tyler left when all she wanted to do was stay in the dark cave of misery. She'd told him time and time again to date someone else, but he kept
insisting he'd wait until she was ready.
She forced a smile. “That would be fun. But you know it all depends on if I get any calls. I hate having to cancel at the last minute."
Cole grinned and picked up her bag of equipment. “This is me, remember?"
Cole's father, Doc, had been the only vet in Sweet Meadow until he handed Beth the practice after her graduation. If anyone understood, Cole would. She was still amazed today at how Doc had done it all, especially after his wife died. She had a hard enough time to find any downtime even when Grant was home.
Cole set her bag in her pickup as Beth pulled open the door on the driver's side. He stopped her with a hand on her arm. “I'll make reservations for seven. Does that give you enough time?"
She pulled her cell phone off her belt and glanced at the clock. “Yeah, that's fine."
He leaned towards her but she ducked her head and climbed into her truck as if she had no idea he had been going to kiss her goodbye.
He stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I'll see you in a few hours."
Beth nodded and put the truck in gear, waving as she headed out the driveway. In her rearview mirror, she saw him staring after and a heavy sadness settled over her. Why can't I love Cole? He was perfect for her. He was Doc's son; they were made to be together. No one understood the demands of her job better than he did—the times she had to leave in the middle of the night, the missed dinners. By the time she was sixteen she was working alongside Doc and had gone on calls with him. He'd trained her to be ready to go even if it was the last thing you wanted. It came with the territory and he wanted her to get a good taste of it early on before she even went to college to begin her real studying. Tyler had always struggled with that, but Cole understood completely. This was her life.
Driving the familiar route between her ranch and Cole's, she thought of Doc. She'd love his opinion on the horse's pregnancy. She leaned her head on her hand as she drove. Would the older man have some other kind of magic up his sleeve that could give them a better chance to make it? At times like this, when she knew there was no hope, she questioned her decision to be here. Everyone counted on her to save their animals. Didn't they know it was far more up to nature than anything a vet could do? As Doc always said, “All we can do is try our best, but most times it's out of our control.” That's what he would tell her now. "Stop worrying about this, little girl. It's God's will what will happen with those twins."