by Roni Adams
Beth narrowed her eyes. Her insides clenched with rage and she fisted her hands against her side. She swallowed hard trying to think of a defense. Charli wasn't going to listen to her side; she'd spent a year and a half being handed a line of crap from Tyler. “This isn't your business,” she finally ground out and walked across the room to the doorway.
"Frankly, I've always thought you were a bit of a spoiled brat."
Beth whirled around to face the redheaded witch.
Charli crossed her arms over her chest and tipped her head. “You were doted on by your father, your sisters have always catered to you, and Cord and the others treat you as some type of little princess. You didn't even have to work to build up your own business; it was handed to you on the proverbial silver platter.” She raised one well sculpted eyebrow. “Have you ever had to work hard for anything in your life? Or, for that matter, have you ever had to put someone else first? It's always been about Beth—maybe for once, it needs to be about someone else."
"Okay, Dear Abby, thanks for the advice.” Beth's face burned and her heart rate accelerated. Not wanting to hear another word about how awful she was and why Tyler was right to leave her, she stormed out of the room and headed to the stairs.
Charli's voice followed her, and the other woman caught up with her in the hallway. “Beth, I'm not saying all this to be a bitch. Tyler loves you. He's never stopped loving you. I've never seen someone so unhappy and miserable and lovesick as that man. He tried for as long as he could to stay away and make a new life, to leave you alone. But he couldn't. It's Christmas, and he's home. Now it's up to you to either make sure he knows it's over, or figure out where you two go from here if you want to work things out. I told you about last Christmas and why he didn't come home so you'd know all the facts. Now make the right decision."
"You stand there and tell me I'm an immature, spoiled brat, and yet you think his leaving was the right thing to do? He drove off without a word to his family? He walked away from his responsibilities to this ranch ... and he walked away from me. I'm sure you know about the note. You seem to know everything else. Yeah, he left me a note. Big deal. Who does that? Who leaves a note and then doesn't call to see if the person actually got the note? That's not childish?” Her voice was shrill and she figured Sara was going to show up any second at the bottom of the staircase and demand to know what was going on.
Charli shook her head. “People make mistakes, especially men. They seem to make more than most."
Beth stared, not sure right now if this woman was friend or foe. “A minute ago you said I was an immature brat and that's why he left me. Now you're saying he was wrong. I'm thinking you don't know what camp you're in."
The other woman slid one hand to the smooth wood of the banister and the other she set on her hip. Beth had an image of a confident model posing for a swimsuit shot as the other woman studied her.
"Doesn't matter what I know or don't know. What matters is what you know now—that maybe you were both to blame for this situation."
Charli brushed past her and walked down the stairs. Beth stared after her, feeling as if all the breath had been knocked out of her. Had she been a little princess? Did everything have to be her way all the time? Had she driven Tyler away?
Her mind whisked back in time; the years they talked about running away and being on their own, the plans they made, and the fun they'd have. Fast forward a few years and suddenly all her talk was about her practice, the house they'd build on the ranch, the six kids they'd have, and how good their life would be in Sweet Meadow. She spoke of how he'd work the ranch with their family; she'd have her practice and how life would be ... perfect.
Perfect. Because I said so. The laughter from downstairs drew her out of her thoughts. She brushed at her eyes and drew a deep breath.
Sara and Charli were in the kitchen fixing sandwiches when Beth entered. She picked up her purse. “I've gotta get going. I'll call you later.” She walked to the backdoor and wasn't going to look at Charli again but something drew her gaze back.
Charli's blue eyes were warm and full of affection as she stared at her. “It's going to be okay, Beth. I promise."
She didn't reply. Her eyes filled with tears and it was all she could do to slip her shoes back on and get out the back door. Te screen door slammed on her way out and she marched to her truck, jerking open the door and climbing inside before the first sob hit.
The truth was out, she really had been spoiled—she just never realized it.
* * * *
"So, let me understand this again? This supposedly good friend of your sister's tells you that you're to blame for why Tyler walked out ... and you believed her?"
Beth paced around the clinic office with her cell phone headset on. She picked up another file and tried to fit it into the too-full file cabinet. Grant had called to check in, and the next thing she knew she was spilling her guts. He was her friend, and she trusted him to tell it to her straight. “It's true, though. How can it not be true?"
"How about the twenty-four-seven workdays we had when we first took over from Doc? How about the fact that we now consider a twelve hour work day to be a ‘slow’ day? That doesn't sound like the type of life a spoiled, rich girl leads."
"But most vets are up to their eyeballs in student loan debt, and it takes years and years before they can buy their own practice. I didn't have to do any of those things. Doc gave this practice to me; just handed it over without a second thought from either of us."
"So?” Grant snorted in her ear. “Come on, Beth, you're making no sense. No princess would do the type of dirty work you do. Does this Charli woman have any clue what it's like to help a horse give birth? Does she know the conditions you work in day in and day out?"
Beth chewed her bottom lip and paced some more. She straightened her certificates on the wall of her office and fixed the curtains at the window. “Look, I'm trying to put a new perspective on this; trying to see if maybe I did drive Tyler away."
"No. What you are doing is trying to find justification for taking him back. Weston's a jerk and now he's letting someone else plead his case."
Beth sank into her office chair and stared out the window over the back pasture of the ranch. Horses chased each other in the distance, and she noted the dark clouds above their heads. Rain was coming, and with the cold temperatures, maybe even some ice. Great. Bad weather always meant for a long night, and it was Christmas Eve. “All this time I thought he didn't want to come home for Christmas last year,” she muttered more to herself.
"If he wanted to bad enough, he would have called."
Beth sighed. With Grant, it was right or wrong, black or white; there was no in between. It was pointless to argue with him. “I'll talk to you after Christmas, Grant. Give my best to your family. And try not to murder your sister while you're there."
Grant grunted. “Listen, I've just spent the past week butting heads with my father and my oldest sister. It's easy for me to understand why Tyler took off, especially if his family drove him away the way mine does. What I don't understand, or agree with, is what he did to you. No man walks away from a relationship the way he did."
"I told you about the note,” she defended.
"Yeah, and when you didn't show up for Labor Day, did he call? Did he even once think that maybe you hadn't gotten the note? I'm telling you, if it were me, I would have had to know for sure. One phone call is all it would have taken."
Beth closed her eyes. That's what she thought too. After an entire lifetime of promises, spoiled or not, hadn't she been worth at least a follow up phone call?
"When you get back, let's look at buying that new machine we talked about before you left."
"I've had some time to do some checking on the internet, and I think we can get it for a pretty good price if we're willing to pick it up rather than have it delivered."
Beth sat back against the chair and idly twirled around. “Maybe we can go together and get it, a day trip or something."
Grant snorted. “Yeah, and who is going to stay behind and watch the shop so to speak. That's another issue we have. We really need to figure out if we can hire another vet. We could use the extra hands."
"You really think we have enough work for a third vet?"
"Yes, and definitely some office help."
Beth glanced around at the piles of files on the floor, the bookcase, in the baskets on her desk and the drawers in the file cabinet she couldn't shut. “You're right. What if we put an ad in the paper or on one of those internet job posting sites?"
She heard voices in the background of the phone and heard Grant sigh. “I'll write something up while I'm here—if my sister will get off my back for thirty seconds. I gotta go. Try to have a good day tomorrow, and I'll see you right after the first."
"Okay, you too. Don't kill Laura or your father.” She clicked off the phone and took off her headset, leaving it on the desk.
In the kitchenette, she opened the refrigerator but was out of bottled water and soda. She really needed to get some supplies. Grant usually kept it stocked, but with him gone, she'd been using and not replacing.
The short walk across the corral into the living quarters took only a few minutes. Sifting her fingers through her hair she had a sudden flashback of Tyler doing the same thing when they'd kissed. Pushing that thought away, she opened the backdoor to the small house and turned on the lights. When Tyler first left, and she came home to find this house and clinic, she'd been too raw with pain to even be in here. Over time, with Grant in residence, she was able to look at the entire building without the emotional attachment. But then, she'd never let herself linger on the ‘what if's.’ As in, what if Tyler hadn't left? As in what if they had lived here together? This would be where they'd eat dinner together each evening and where they'd make love every night. Where they'd sit and watch TV curled up on the couch together and where they'd fight over whose turn it was to do laundry.
She grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and leaned against the counter. She had work to do, but all she could do was think about Tyler or, more specifically, her life with and without him. She'd missed him so much at first and then she became numb. Life without him was doable if she didn't allow herself to remember or look back. But she'd only been half alive. Even achieving her dream of becoming a vet and working in her own practice hadn't excited her. Nothing had until the other night in Tyler's arms again. Everything inside her—body, soul, emotions—everything sprang to life again. Now the rest seemed dull in comparison.
Right or wrong, he'd always been the other half to her whole.
That's what no one had understood last year. It wasn't just a breakup, some romance that someone could get over. She and Tyler were a connection, and had been since they were little kids. Their mothers would put them in the same playpen while they worked alongside Flo or left for a day of riding with their husbands. The relationship they'd had was one that very few ever experienced. Tyler had been there all the time: next to her, cheering her on, holding her up, wiping her tears. Then he was gone—along with a large part of herself.
Maybe it had been too much for him; maybe while she was enjoying that bond, he felt smothered. She was one more thing that tied him down and made him feel this overwhelming responsibility. He had to get out before he lost himself completely.
Beth grabbed a bag out of the cupboard and filled it with bottles of water and cans of soda. She added a couple bags of chips from the cupboard and the cheese and crackers for good measure. Maybe her life wasn't exciting without Tyler in it, but at least she didn't have to worry about getting hurt.
She'd learned to stand on her own two feet while he was gone; she was independent and that wasn't always bad. And she wasn't willing to go through heartbreak like that twice. No one was worth it, not even him.
* * * *
Christmas Eve was a big event on the Double B where everyone in the family came together for a large dinner. Tyler looked around the table, wondering if they had left an empty seat for him last year.
"Hey. Wake up and pass the roast."
He pulled his thoughts back to the present and took the heaping platter of beef that Teddy thrust towards him. The food smelled wonderful. The room was full of laughter as everyone around the table passed the bowls of food, laughed, and teased. Cord sat in his usual spot at the head of the table, with Charli to his right. Tyler caught her eye and she winked. He grinned back.
Across the table, he noticed Beth watching them. Her blue eyes weren't amused: rather, they were wary. His smile dropped. Did she think he and Charli had a thing going? He studied her for several seconds, and her gaze pulled away. Did it matter to her if he and Charli had been together? In all the years they were with one another, there'd never been an opportunity for Beth to experience jealously. There wasn't another woman he'd so much as glanced at, and she knew that. Did she really think he'd changed that much since he left?
"Come on, keep up your part in this or don't eat,” Teddy complained again as he shoved a bowl of mashed potatoes and some vegetables in his direction.
Tyler loaded up his plate and kept the food moving to Susan who was on his other side.
Beth's sister leaned over, almost across him, and Tyler leaned back as she spoke to Teddy.
"What's with you, Scrooge?"
"Scrooge? I'm a scrooge because I told him to pay attention?"
Susan shrugged and reached across Tyler for the basket of rolls. “Maybe he thinks Santa is going to bring him coal in his stocking tonight."
"Yeah, and what's he putting in yours, Madame Broadway? Another Grammy Award, perhaps?"
Tyler leaned back again as the two of them went at it.
"No, those aren't given away; they're earned."
"Could have fooled me,” Teddy muttered.
Tyler glanced at Susan whose eyes cast darts at his brother.
"Ty? Do you need some protective armor down there?” Cord yelled from the far end of the table.
"Seriously.” Tyler shoved the gravy boat at Susan. “Come on you two, it's Christmas Eve. And we have guests."
"That we do,” Teddy agreed with a large grin as he lifted his wine glass. “And I'd like to propose a toast.” He rose and addressed the table. “To our friends Chase Boyd and his absolutely ravishing daughter, Charli. Thank you so much for gracing our holiday table this year."
"Here, here! Merry Christmas,” the chorus of voices around the room echoed.
Tyler watched as Sara leaned into Buck and he kissed her temple. Charli rested her hand on Cord's forearm making some point or other. Her father sat across from her and nodded his head every once in a while. Flo and Sam were opposite him, talking with Beth and laughing.
"I need to tell everyone something,” he said. No one appeared to have heard so he caught Cord's gaze.
The young patriarch of the family held up his hand, and everyone around the table went quiet. “Tyler wants to say something."
"Thanks,” he said and stood. “Last year, on Christmas Eve afternoon, I decided I had to come home. I couldn't stay away any longer and I headed this way. Unfortunately, I was in an accident.” Flo gasped and someone else muttered, but Tyler went on. “It was a pretty bad car accident, and they had to airlift me to the hospital. I begged Charli and her father not to call any of you because I didn't want to ruin your holidays. I didn't want anyone coming there. I felt, after the way I left, it would have been pretty rotten for me to ruin Christmas, too. I told them both that I'd call home right after Christmas and tell you what was going on. But I didn't. That was entirely my fault, not the Boyds. They were only respecting my wishes."
He swallowed hard as the silence continued and glanced at Cord then Buck, looking for some sign of forgiveness or understanding. Anything but the hard, dark looks they were casting his way. He couldn't look at Flo; he knew the disappointment he'd find there.
Finally, Cord nodded. “I don't need to lecture you on how rotten that was. Anyone here would hav
e rather spent their Christmas by your bedside than thinking you didn't want to be here. But it's behind us now. Last year is past and this year is now.” He lifted his glass and turned to the Boyds. “Thank you for being there and taking good care of Ty and proving once again what very good friends you both are.” He turned to Tyler. “It's good to know that hard head of yours is intact or the accident surely would have scattered your brains all over the place.” He grinned to soften his words and took a drink of his wine.
Everyone lifted their glasses and did the same, murmuring their own sentiments. Tyler could sense Beth watching him and turned to her, unsure what he'd see in her gaze. Her blue eyes weren't full of hatred and anger as he expected, but rather almost ... understanding.
For several seconds he watched her until she smiled just slightly and went back to eating.
Was he forgiven? Did she understand? No, that would be too easy. He'd grown used to her constant anger for anything he did last year. Maybe it was just the mellow holiday mood that softened her smile.
"So, Cord, is Santa going to finally bring you a wife this year?” Buck teased.
"Just because you got your girl doesn't mean we all need one,” Cord returned smoothly, digging into his plate of food.
"Cord will find the right girl someday,” Flo insisted.
Sam scoffed. “He's too fussy. This one's too blonde, or too short, or too curvy or..."
The eldest Weston brother laughed. “I can't help it if I'm particular about the future mother of my children."
"What do you think, Charli? Is Cord too fussy?"
Tyler laughed when Charli grinned and touched Cord's arm. “Cord is a man who knows exactly what he wants and is not willing to budge on that goal.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “However, I am of the belief that there is no reason he can't have a little fun while he's searching."