by Linda Warren
“That’s why you spent so much time at the Hollister ranch. It wasn’t to see Rachel. It was to see him.”
The conversation was between Angie and her mother. Everyone else listened closely. She never wavered as she answered, “Yes. I was crazy about him. We spent a lot of time together. I knew he was older, and it didn’t seem to matter. At Rachel’s going-away party someone spiked the punch and I got a little tipsy.”
Her mother made the sign of the cross, clasped her hands and began to pray silently with her head bent.
Angie refused to stop. Doris had to hear the whole story. “I couldn’t come home because I knew you would throw a fit so Hardy let me spend the night. The next morning we got carried away. Later, we both agreed it was a mistake. He left for Europe, and I went to junior college in Temple. I soon discovered I was pregnant, and I couldn’t get in touch with him. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I had classes with Dennis, and we were good friends. When he offered to marry me, I jumped at the chance because I couldn’t come home and face you. I knew you would condemn, judge and berate me, and I just didn’t want to go through that. So I had my baby alone. It wasn’t until after Erin was born that I called Patsy and Peggy because I could no longer hold it together. Go ahead and say what you need to say because it’s not going to change a thing.”
Doris raised her head and glared. “You are such a disappointment, Angie. How could you disgrace me like this?”
Angie’s heart sank at the bitter words, but she did not bend under the criticism. Too much was at stake.
“Mrs. Wiznowski, I’m sorry you’re upset,” Hardy joined in. “But like Angie said, it’s not going to change a thing. Blame me if it makes you feel better.”
“You better believe I blame you. Judge Hollister will hear about this.”
“My father has nothing to do with what happened.”
“You took advantage of Angie and her trusting nature.”
“He did not,” Angie quickly denied.
“It doesn’t matter,” Hardy said. “Angie was eighteen, and I was well over twenty-one. We were adults and free to do what we wanted. If that’s hard for you to understand, then I’m sorry for you. This meeting was a courtesy to the family. We didn’t want you to find out some other way, but maybe sometimes you just can’t be nice to certain people.”
“How dare you!” Doris spat.
Bubba got to his feet. “I’m gonna kill him like I should have days ago.”
“Sit down, son,” Willard said, his voice strong like it was when he was serious. “This is none of your concern. Nor ours, either. This is Angie’s life, and she’s made decisions that I regret, but they were hers to make. I regret them because she didn’t feel she could come to us when she was in trouble. That hurts. I understand the reasoning, though.” He looked at his wife. “What kind of mother drives her daughter away?”
“Shut up, Willard. I raised our girls to be religious, moral women. I did not raise them to be sluts and sleep around and hide it and have children out of wedlock. That’s a sin against God.”
“Really?” Grandma Ruby piped up. “You didn’t remember that when you were sleeping with Willard before you were married.”
“Mama!” her dad scolded.
Everyone else in the room gasped, and Doris looked as if she’d been slapped.
But it seemed her grandmother wasn’t through. “You need to practice what you preach, Doris.”
Willard got to his feet, walked over to Angie and hugged her. She choked back tears. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. Now I’m going home and let you handle your life and Erin’s because I love you.” On his way to the door he hugged Erin, reached in his pocket and gave her a quarter. He always did that. Erin had a piggy bank full of quarters.
He shook Hardy’s hand. “Welcome to the family.”
“Thank you, sir,” Hardy replied. “I appreciate your understanding, especially during this difficult time.”
Willard looked at his wife. “Are you coming?”
“I’d rather walk than ride with your mother.” Her stormy eyes indicated a heated conversation was coming concerning Grandma Ruby.
“Suit yourself. Bubba, it’s time for you to go, too. It’s time for everyone to go. C’mon, Mama. We need to talk, too.”
Grandma Ruby eased from her chair and approached Angie. Hugging her, she said, “Bless you, child. Never be afraid to stand up for yourself.” Then she whispered under her breath, “Don’t worry about your mom. She’s a lot of hot air.” She pinched Erin’s cheek and followed her son.
Bubba gave Hardy the stink eye before he went out the door. An awkward silence filled the room after they left.
“Well, well, well, isn’t this something?” Patsy got up. “You just walked away and left Angie pregnant?”
“Drop it, Patsy. This conversation is over, and I do not need anyone to protect me from Hardy. I’m the one who didn’t tell him about Erin, so all of this is on me. Erin has forgiven me. That’s all that matters.”
Doris finally got to her feet, her purse clutched tightly in her arms. “I will never forgive you for the disgrace you have brought to this family.”
Angie held her ground. “That’s your prerogative.”
“Disgrace, Mrs. Wiznowski?” Hardy’s voice was cold and sharp, and a chill ran through Angie because she knew he was angry and the whole meeting had gotten out of control. She was feeling a little anger herself. “I would’ve thought you would have had more understanding, if not for Angie then for your granddaughter—my daughter.”
Doris puffed out her chest in indignation and ignored Hardy. “I guess you’re going to let him see Erin and flaunt his paternity all over town,” she said to Angie.
“Yes” was all Angie could say.
“Score one for mama bear,” Patsy chanted and took a seat.
“AnaMarie, take me home.” Doris stomped toward the door.
“Why are you so mad, Grandma?” Erin asked. “I’ve always wanted a daddy, and now I have one. A real daddy. And he wants me, too.”
Hardy put an arm around Erin’s shoulder as if to protect her.
“You’re just a child and don’t know what your mother has done.”
“What did she do?” Erin lifted her shoulders in confusion. “She fell in love and made me. Don’t you love me?”
Doris didn’t respond. Then she suddenly turned and hugged her granddaughter. “Of course I love you. This is such a shock.”
Erin took Hardy’s hand and said, “Grandma, I’d like you to meet my daddy, Hardy Hollister.”
Doris stared at Hardy. Angie held her breath.
“This will take some getting used to.”
“That’s okay,” Erin said. “I’m not used to it either, but I love my mama and I know I’ll love my daddy, too.”
Doris choked back a sob and went out the door without a glance at Angie. AnaMarie was a step behind her.
AnaMarie glanced back. “She’ll come around, Angie. Try not to worry.”
Patsy sidled back over to Hardy. “So you were banging my eighteen-year-old sister? That really ticks me off.”
“Give it a rest, Patsy, and I do not appreciate that language in front of Erin.”
“Is banging what I think it means?” Erin asked.
Before Angie could find the proper words, Peggy got up and cupped Erin’s face. “Patsy has no class. Pay no attention to her.” She kissed the tip of Erin’s nose. “You were conceived in love and we all love you.”
“I love you, too,” Erin replied in a low voice.
Peggy straightened and looked at her twin sister. “I’m going back to the apartment. You can find your own way home.”
“You’d better not leave without me. I have no interest in Ray Goolsby. He has a big head. Have you ever noticed that? I should’ve charged him double for that haircut.”
Peggy slammed the door in her face.
Patsy yanked it back open. “You’d better wait for me. I don’t know why you like that bigheaded
guy anyway. You...”
Angie closed the door, glad to shut out their conversation. Glad to shut out her family. She leaned against it, needing to regain her composure.
Erin reached for her crutches. “Time for ice cream.”
Angie was always amazed at the resilience of children. How she wished she could bounce back so quickly. But there were a whole lot of years of her mother’s criticism and judgment hanging over her head, and she’d never felt them more than today.
Hardy helped Erin into the kitchen. Their chattering went over Angie’s head. She sank onto the sofa and wondered if she would hear her mother’s words for the rest of her life. You’re such a disappointment. I will never forgive you for the disgrace you have brought to this family.
Her angst probably came from years of trying to please her mother. She wanted to be the good girl her mother told everyone she was. But good only went so far until real emotions and human desires took over. She was not a prude, and she would not apologize for that night with Hardy no matter how much censure would be heaped on her in the next few days.
Hardy would feel the pressure, too. There was nothing like small-town gossip and small minds to derail his career. And she knew that was important to him and Judge Hollister. How would he handle the rumors and criticism?
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. She’d heard that saying most of her life. By now she should have nerves of steel and superpowers to last her a lifetime. But the queasiness in her stomach belied that statement.
“Mama, can I call Jody?” Erin shouted from the kitchen. “I have to tell her.”
“Okay. Fifteen minutes. That’s it, and then it’s time to get ready for bed. You’ve had a busy day.”
“Aw, Mama, it’s summer.”
“And you’re recovering from an accident.”
“Mama always has an answer,” Angie heard her whisper to Hardy and then giggle.
After a few minutes, Hardy came into the room and sat beside her. There was a love seat and several other chairs, and yet he chose the seat next to her. Six-foot-plus of all male was a little too close for her peace of mind.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I will be,” she answered honestly. “It just takes a while to get used to this feeling in my stomach that I’ve disappointed my mother.”
“I never realized your mother was so judgmental and narrow-minded.”
“Mmm. My mother’s mom was the same way, so I guess my mother had strict morals drilled into her from an early age. My older brother and sister left Horseshoe as soon as they graduated high school. My brother and his wife and four kids live in Houston, and my sister and her family live in Dallas. They rarely come home. Just on special occasions. I’ll call them later and tell them what’s happening in my life.”
“I’m sure they’d appreciate that.” He rubbed his hands together. “Grandma Ruby is certainly different. Your mom will probably never speak to her again.”
“They’ve never gotten along. They’ve worked side by side in the bakery, yet they seem to hate each other and never miss a chance to show the other up. My mother’s views on life are so stringent, and she expects her daughters to be the same way. Grandma Ruby is completely different. She was a lot of fun when I was growing up. She still is.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t see Patsy or Peggy as good girls with strict moral values.”
“They’ve always had that in-your-face attitude, and Mama had a hard time dealing with them. It’s an ongoing struggle, as it is with Grandma Ruby, and it makes family gatherings difficult.” She took a deep breath. “From now on, family gatherings will probably be pretty strange.” She sat forward. “You know, I don’t get it. Bubba has an apartment over the gas station and Margie Jansky stays there at least three or four times a week. My mother is aware of this. Yet she says nothing to Bubba. Why is that okay for a man?”
He shook his head. “I think it’s expected of a man, but somehow the woman is supposed to be pure, especially in a small town.”
“Well, screw that attitude.”
“Angie, you’re not exactly a femme fatale. We had a night together, and no one is going to think any less of you.”
“I don’t care what anybody thinks. I only care how this is going to affect Erin. Right now, she’s all happy and bubbly. But earlier she was extremely hurt, and I just have this fear she’s going to get hurt again.”
His eyes caught hers. They were as dark as she’d ever seen them. “I’m in her life now to see that that doesn’t happen. You don’t have to do this alone anymore.”
She was stunned, and she had to admit a little grateful, that he was willing to take responsibility because there would be rumors and gossip. But he also had a life that did not include them.
“Thanks, but I can handle Erin and our lives. I’m not that naive young girl anymore.” As hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of her voice.
“I’m trying to make this right, Angie.”
She pushed to her feet, needing to get away from him and his closeness. “Then spend time with your daughter and get to know her. That will make it right.” She walked to the kitchen, leaving him staring after her. Her back felt hot from his scrutiny.
“Time’s up,” she told Erin.
“Gotta go,” Erin said to Jody on the phone. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Angie reached for a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. “Say good-night to Hardy.”
Hardy stood with Erin’s crutches in his hands. “Good night, peanut. I’ll be back in the morning.”
Erin took her crutches. “Okay,” she replied, then looked up at Hardy with a strange expression Angie had never seen before. “Do you mind if I hug you?”
Hardy paled, but he recovered quickly. “No, of course not.” He leaned over, and Erin put her little arms around his neck and squeezed. Hardy’s hands shook as he held his daughter for the first time.
“You can’t hug me too hard cause my ribs are still fractured,” Erin told him.
Hardy leaned back and kissed the sterile strips on her forehead. “I’ll never get over hitting you with my truck. My own daughter.”
Erin smiled to take away his hurt, and Angie’s throat clogged. “We’ll remember it forever.”
“Yeah. Sleep tight, peanut.”
“Good night, Mr. Hardy, and thanks for the ice cream.”
Hardy hesitated for a moment, and then walked out the back door. Angie wondered how long Erin would continue to call him Mr. Hardy. She probably didn’t even realize she was doing it. It was just his name to her. It would be a while before she could say Daddy.
Angie and Erin made their way into the bedroom, and Angie helped her get ready for bed. Angie had to clean the incision on Erin’s hip with antiseptic soap and put on a new bandage. In a pink-and-white gown, Erin hopped on one foot to the bed.
“Sweetie, I don’t like you doing that. It’s best to use the crutches. We don’t want to do anything to impede the healing.”
“Aw, Mama. I’m fine.” Erin crawled into bed with all her stuffed animals around her.
Angie pulled the sheet up to Erin’s chin and sat on the bed. Erin hadn’t said anything about the explosive family meeting, and Angie didn’t want her to harbor any bad feelings. “Grandma was a little upset tonight and didn’t mean everything she said.”
Erin brushed hair from her face. “Grandma doesn’t take surprises very well.”
“But she loves you.” Angie was struggling to remember that, as well.
“I know, Mama.”
“She’s just mad at me.”
“Mr. Hardy told her, didn’t he? Grandma almost had a cow.”
Hardy was a lawyer and used to debating and confronting people, but she was a little surprised that he’d taken on her mother. And touched. She shouldn’t be, but sometimes emotions were hard to control. She knew that better than anyone.
Angie kissed her daughter. “Good night, baby.”
“Ma
ma, could you bring me paper and a pen? I want to write a letter.”
“Now? You can do it tomorrow on my computer or my laptop.”
Erin scooted up against the headboard. “I want to write it. It won’t take long, and I’m not sleepy yet.”
It was hard for Angie to refuse. She went to Erin’s desk and got the paper, a pen and a book to write on. As she handed it to her, she saw the gum that Jody had brought her on her nightstand. She didn’t like Erin chewing so much gum. It was bad for her teeth.
“I’ll put this away.” She scooped the gum into her hands.
“Okay,” Erin replied without complaining. “It hurts my head to chew it now.”
“You didn’t tell me your head was hurting.”
“Only when I chew gum, Mama. Chill.”
Chill. She could do that. “I’m going to take a shower, and when I finish, it will be lights-out. You may not be tired, but I am. It’s been a long day.”
“Okay, Mama.” Erin was already scribbling on the paper. Angie wondered what she was up to, but she didn’t ask. Erin would tell her later.
Angie took a shower and brushed her hair out of its ponytail. Staring at herself in the mirror, she wondered how Hardy saw her today. The youthful Angie who had looked at the world through girlish fantasies was gone. She’d left her behind a long time ago with a broken heart and broken dreams. In her place stood a mature woman who was still struggling to find herself.
She’d taken a big step forward today by facing her mother. But repercussions would come. The town of Horseshoe would now judge her, but, unlike years ago, she’d have Hardy by her side. And they both would do everything they could to protect their child.
Over the past two years she’d seen Hardy with several women. Olivia had lasted longer than most. No one ever mentioned what had happened to his wife, and she never asked because it was none of her business.
She went to check on Erin, who was licking the seal of an envelope. “I finished, Mama.”
“Where did you get the envelope?”
“Um...”
“Did you hop to the desk?”
“Yeah. It wasn’t that far, and I was careful.”
“Erin, what’s so important about this letter?”