Safe by His Side

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Safe by His Side Page 19

by Debra Webb


  She lifted her gaze to his. “Can you stop?” A knot of fear and uncertainty, as hard and cold as a rock, settled in Kate’s stomach. “Can you just walk away?”

  He searched her eyes for what felt like a lifetime, then moistened his lips and drew in a heavy breath. “No.” The simple, one-syllable response tightened that knot of fear growing inside Kate.

  Raine snuggled closer, offering the only thing he had to give, Kate realized. His warm, muscled body fit perfectly against hers. Hard angles and lean planes in all the right places to mesh with her fuller curves and softer valleys. There was no hiding just how much he wanted her, every hardened inch of him pressed against her hip. But he waited.

  Kate shuddered at the rush of renewed need that surged through her at his patience. She wanted him so very much. Surely if she had a husband she would remember something about him. She didn’t wear a ring and there had been nothing in her purse to indicate she was married, she rationalized. Everything inside her resisted the notion of children. She couldn’t have children and not remember. Could a mother really forget her own child?

  “Kate,” he whispered, the deep timbre of his voice gliding over her like silk.

  She studied his face, his chiseled jaw, those full sensuous lips before allowing her gaze to meet his. Kate braced herself for the intensity she would find there, and be unable to resist. “What if there’s someone else?” She felt her frown deepen at the reaction she saw in his stormy blue eyes. Some unreadable emotion flickered fiercely but briefly before he banished it. “What if I have a husband?” she clarified softly.

  A beat of silence passed, then those sinfully tempting lips slid into a wicked smile. “Then he’s a fool for letting you out of his sight.” He nipped at her lower lip, gently suckled it, then murmured, “Tonight you’re mine, Kate.”

  She nodded, her breath catching as his lips moved along the line of her jaw toward the supersensitive curve of her neck. She didn’t want to analyze the situation anymore, she only wanted to feel. Long fingers and a roughened palm skimmed over her heated flesh, touching, torturing, taking her body to a new level of desire. Urgent and exploratory, his hungry mouth moved lower. A wave of sensations splashed through Kate’s body again and again, rising and then falling like the relentless pounding of the ocean against the shore. She arched her back, thrusting her breasts forward for his attention.

  When his hot, moist mouth closed over one nipple, Kate cried out, the sound a primal plea of approval as well as a demand for more. His tongue flicked over her nipple, then slowly circled the straining, swollen peak before moving to her other breast. Her fingers threaded into his golden hair and held him in place as he drew on her more strongly. Kate writhed with pleasure at the intensified assault. His hand traced a path down her rib cage and across her abdomen, his tantalizing tongue followed, hesitating briefly at her belly button to dip repeatedly inside. The cool brush of his fingertips sent pleasant jolts through Kate. Her body arched instinctively when he parted her thighs and tangled his fingers in the triangle of hair there.

  “Raine,” she gasped. Anything else she would have said, as well as coherent thought, evaporated when one long finger slid along the part of her feminine folds, and then slipped inside. Colored lights pulsed behind Kate’s lids as he tortured her intimately with those skilled fingers. His lips caressed the curve of her hip, her mound, his tongue darting out to scorch her shivering flesh. Kate moaned her surrender to the urgent desire. Her concentration focused inward as her tremors began. The gentle quakes vibrated from her center outward. She cried his name again when the burning sweetness erupted into full-body shudders and stole her breath.

  Kate was vaguely aware of him moving over her, but the vortex of erotic sensations would not allow her to open her eyes. The scent of his clean, masculine body filled her with a sense of completeness and well-being. She reached for him, circling his lean waist with her arms and drawing him closer, until his strong body covered hers and she could feel his ragged breath on her face. “Raine,” she murmured, her lips brushing whisper-soft against his. “There’s no one else but you.” And in that ethereal moment she knew the words were true.

  His mouth claimed hers as his weight crushed down on her, pressing her into the softness of the mattress beneath them. His tongue swept into her mouth at the same instant that he entered her in one long, powerful thrust, filling her, possessing her. Her body stretched to accommodate him, her feminine muscles contracting as she exploded once more around him. She was his and he was hers in an elemental way that no power on earth could change. When he moved against her, within her, everything else ceased to exist.

  Raine took her to the pinnacle yet a third time, and this time he followed her into oblivion, bursting inside her with his own hot, sweet release. Kate clung to him, stunned by the intensity of the moment, frightened by what she felt in her heart. She could feel his heart pounding against his chest, echoing hers. Had he felt it too? Tears welled in her eyes when she considered the foolishness of that thought. How could she possibly mean anything to a man like him?

  Raine rested his forehead against hers. “Are you all right?”

  Since she didn’t trust her voice, she nodded, though she was anything but all right. He rolled to his back, pulling Kate close against him as he did. She fought the almost overwhelming urge to cry—to sob—in his arms. Oh God, how could she have fallen in love with this man? A man who would surely walk away from her if he didn’t get himself killed first. As if sensing her distress, Raine’s arms tightened around her and he held her that way, until her breathing slowed and sleep claimed her.

  RAINE TRANSFERRED the white bag containing the coffee he’d picked up in the restaurant downstairs to his left hand and checked the Glock beneath his jacket. When the elevator doors slid open he stepped out onto the sixth floor and headed toward the room where he’d left Kate sleeping.

  He had dreaded this moment for most of the night. After Kate had fallen asleep in his arms, he had spent endless hours kicking himself for allowing her so close. What he and Kate had shared had gone way beyond lust and mere physical need. He was in hazardous, uncharted territory now. Territory he’d sworn he would never allow himself to stumble into. Jack Raine didn’t need anyone. He never had. He’d always done his job, taken what he wanted and walked away. Nothing more. No strings, no complications.

  He couldn’t change now, no matter how his insides twisted at the thought of leaving Kate behind. It was for her own good, and he had no choice in the matter. She would realize that soon enough. Taking down Dillon and revealing the mole in Lucas’s organization was a mission he could not walk away from—he’d never walked away from a mission, even one he’d taken upon himself. If he survived, he would count himself lucky. The odds were stacked heavily against him, and the risk was only increased by his strong personal involvement. Though it was a risk he would have to take, there was no way in hell he would risk Kate’s life.

  No way, he repeated silently as he slid the key card into the slot near the door’s handle. She would forget him in no time at all. And maybe there was a Mr. Roberts waiting somewhere out there for her. Someone who had a nice safe life to offer her.

  Raine swallowed tightly. The idea of Kate with another man—any man—turned him inside out. If his instincts were right about her, though, the sooner they parted ways the better. He couldn’t be sure who she worked for, but there was little doubt left in his mind that her appearance at his door was not coincidental.

  Ignoring the lock’s blinking green light, Raine clenched his jaw at the reality of his “relationship” with Kate. No one had ever gotten this close to him before. The fact that she had, and under increasingly suspicious circumstances, attested to his total loss of perspective. But he couldn’t leave her behind until he was sure she would be safe and unable to interfere with his plans. Now was the time. In just a few hours it would all be over—one way or another. Selfishly, Raine had taken one last night with her…one final taste of her lips. He closed his
eyes and remembered the smell of her hair…the sound of her voice. He would always remember.

  But now he had to go.

  To leave her behind, the way he should have done in the first place.

  Raine reinserted the key card, pushed the door open and entered the room. Bright morning sun poured in through the open drapes. Kate was up. He hadn’t wanted to wake her when he’d gone down to the parking garage. He needed to retrieve the Glock from its hiding place behind the truck’s back seat. He planned to leave his Beretta with Kate. He surveyed the room. His gaze settled on the closed bathroom door as it opened and Kate stepped out.

  Though she was fully clothed in jeans and a T-shirt, her hair was still damp and Raine could smell her freshly showered scent clear across the room. The sight of her shifted something entirely too close to his heart.

  “Morning,” he said, and gave her his best attempt at a smile. He wasn’t very good at this sort of thing. He didn’t have a lot of practice at explaining himself, or dealing with the unfamiliar compulsion to do so. He extended the bag he held in her direction. “Coffee?”

  She approached him cautiously, the expression in her dark brown eyes wary. “Where have you been? I thought…”

  She didn’t have to say the rest. She thought he’d left her. Just like back at the house when she’d come out to the barn looking for him. And, just like then, leaving her was exactly what he intended to do. Only this time, he would. Raine ignored the alien sensation in the pit of his stomach that accompanied that line of thinking.

  When she didn’t accept the coffee, he strode across the room to the table. “There was something I needed in the truck,” he told her as he removed the two disposable cups from the bag. She moved to his side, his body reacted instantly to her nearness.

  “I thought you’d left without saying goodbye,” she explained softly.

  He crushed the bag into a wad and tossed it aside, then held one of the cups out to her. “I told you I wouldn’t do that,” he replied without allowing his gaze to meet hers.

  Kate accepted the cup this time. She padded across the lush carpet to the other side of the table and sat down. She pretended to be relaxed, but was far from it. The rigid set of her shoulders and the overprotective way she held her cup spoke volumes. She’d weaved her long brown hair into a braid. Her T-shirt hugged her firm, round breasts. The jeans she wore were a little loose now. She’d lost a few pounds on this trip, and that bothered Raine. He should have taken better care of her. A ghost of a smile touched his lips when he considered the delicious curves and contours that lay beneath those ill-fitting jeans. Vivid images of their lovemaking had haunted him all morning. The creamy, soft feel of her skin, the way her silky hair felt between his fingers, the way her body—snug and hot—welcomed him so completely.

  Averting his gaze, Raine forced himself to sip his coffee. He had to think clearly this morning. He had already decided on a place right here in New York to meet Dillon, and he had informed Ballatore. This city was as much Raine’s home turf as any other place. The memory of making love with Kate at his house in Virginia invaded his concentration, but he quickly shut it out. He’d had high hopes when he’d bought the place, but it didn’t really seem to matter all that much anymore. He’d always been a loner, but now the thought of living in that house alone held no appeal. Assuming he stayed alive beyond the next twenty-four hours to need a place to live, he ruminated.

  Raine took another long sip of the warm, dark liquid. Right now he had to focus on the mission. Tomorrow would take care of itself, it always had.

  “You didn’t say much about your meeting with Ballatore,” Kate reminded him quietly.

  You were like a second son to me. Raine could still hear the hint of pain in the old man’s voice, see the deep sadness in his eyes. Maybe Raine had allowed Ballatore a little closer than he had planned as well. He shook his head. He was definitely getting too soft for this business. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t seen Dillon coming, and hadn’t been able to keep Kate at arm’s length. At least the old man had been right about one thing, this line of work could definitely get him killed.

  “Raine?”

  He jerked to attention, his gaze focusing back on Kate. She’d asked about the meeting. “I accomplished my goal,” he hedged. She already knew too much, he wasn’t about to give her anything else that could be used against him.

  Kate set her cup on the table and stood. “You told me that part already,” she said impatiently. “I want to know if he believed you when you told him that you didn’t kill his son.”

  Raine set his own cup down and leveled his gaze on hers. “If he hadn’t, I’d be dead right now.”

  Kate flinched. “I don’t understand,” she murmured as she brushed a loose tendril of hair from her cheek. “Why would he believe you over Dillon?”

  “Just lucky I guess,” Raine retorted, aiming for flippant.

  Her eyes narrowed suspiciously as she shook her head slowly from side to side. “No, I don’t think so. I think there was something more to your relationship with Ballatore.”

  Raine rounded the table and pinned her with his most intimidating stare. Her accusation struck a little too close to home. “I get close to people, Kate. I make them trust me.” He leaned nearer and her eyes widened slightly. “I infiltrated Ballatore’s organization first, then his family. If Dillon hadn’t blown my cover, I would have taken the old man down no matter what our relationship.” He felt a muscle contract in his jaw when he paused. “That’s what I do. And I’m very good at what I do.”

  Kate blinked, her dark eyes misty. “Is that what we’ve been about?” She swallowed visibly. “Getting close and making me trust you?”

  The hurt in her eyes had the effect of an unexpected kick in the stomach. How could he have allowed himself to get in this deep? He’d sworn he wouldn’t. Denial of her charge burned in his chest, but he ruthlessly tamped it down. This was the turning point. He recognized the necessity of what he had to do, despite the fierce desire to do just the opposite. He had lived on the edge for far too long. He had worked to gain trust and then betrayed it too many times in the name of God and country. He couldn’t change now. Spend too many years with the scum of the earth and you become like them, Raine reminded himself.

  He had to remember that Kate was most likely his enemy in all this. Raine just had no way of knowing which of his enemies had sent her. But he knew for certain that she was not like him. Maybe she was new to the business or maybe she was simply being used by someone to get to Raine. Whatever the case, he recognized the innocence in Kate that he had long ago lost to the world of deceit in which he lived. She would have plenty of regrets when she regained her memory. She would hate him then for taking advantage of her vulnerability. It would be better for her to believe that, he decided. Let her believe that he was the ruthless bastard of which his reputation boasted.

  “Was last night just part of what you do?”

  Raine struggled with his conscience—the one he hadn’t even realized existed until he met Kate. “You don’t want to know the answer to that,” he lied, drawing the necessary line in the sand.

  She quickly masked the flicker of hurt in her eyes, then lifted her chin in defiance of his indifference. “I guess that makes me as big a fool as Ballatore,” she suggested, her voice lacking any kind of inflection. “I suppose that since Ballatore obviously believed you—considering you’re not dead—now you have his blessings to go after Dillon?”

  Raine ignored her question. He stepped past her to the bed, reached beneath the pillow he had used and removed the Beretta he’d hidden there. “Take this.” He offered the weapon to Kate, but she only glared at him. Raine captured her hand and forced her to take the weapon. “You’ll be safe here. The room is guaranteed with a credit card that can’t be traced back to me.” He held her wrist tighter when she would have jerked away. “Don’t go out for anything. Use room service for whatever you need.”

  “How long do you expect me to stay here?”


  “As long as it takes,” he said, impatient with her resistance, as well as with his own ridiculous emotions.

  “Once you walk out that door, what’s to keep me from doing the same?” she retorted hotly.

  Raine yanked her closer, anger overriding all else. “If you want to stay alive, you’ll stay put until this is over.”

  “Dillon will do whatever it takes to kill you, you know that, don’t you?” The hurt was back in her eyes now. She was afraid for him—another unfamiliar and unexpected glitch.

  “I know,” Raine replied quietly. He released her, then blew out a disgusted breath. He was a fool. He had swallowed the bait, hook, line and sinker. Kate’s inadvertent amnesia only made her more effective against him. No one had ever held this much power over him. Raine swallowed, hard. But that wouldn’t stop him from doing what he had to do.

  “And that doesn’t matter? Why can’t you let Ballatore settle the score with Dillon? The mission you were assigned is over!”

  “You don’t know all there is to know,” he argued in spite of himself. Why didn’t he just leave?

  “Well, fill me in,” she demanded. She braced one hand on her hip, the Beretta hanging loosely at her side from the other.

  Raine closed his mind, his heart, to what she wanted from him. She was hurt and confused. She wanted him to tell her everything would be all right, but he couldn’t. And he shouldn’t care, but, damn him, he did. “I can’t do that,” he said simply, allowing the coldness of his tone to speak for itself.

  “Can’t or won’t?” she countered.

  “Take your pick.” Raine plowed his fingers through his hair and looked away. He didn’t have time for this, and he sure as hell couldn’t bear to watch the hurt in her eyes a moment longer. “I have to go now. If you’ll follow my instructions you’ll be safe.” He turned and started toward the door, a sick feeling eating at his gut despite the knowledge that he was doing the right thing—taking the steps necessary to ensure her safety as well as the success of his mission.

 

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