by Cassie Cross
He can feel the smile that curves her lips, and before he has time to register the absence of her touch, she’s wrapping her fingers around the placket of his shirt, and pulling. The buttons give way, one by one.
Panic pushes through the foggy haze in his mind, because he hasn’t had time to tell her about his scars, hasn’t had time to prepare her for what she’s going to see. As handsome as his face is, he never quite gets over the look that flits across women’s faces when they see the rest of him isn’t so perfect.
He steels himself as Kaia peels back his shirt, letting it fall over his shoulders and off of his arms. The lights are dim in the room, but she’ll see, there’s no way she won’t.
The trepidation or surprise that Jason expects never comes. Instead, Kaia rakes her nails across his abs, making him flex, and a smile crosses her face.
“Your body is insane. I don’t think I’ve ever touched muscles like these. Not with my hand, and certainly not with my mouth, which I’m going to be using a lot of tonight, I can tell. I hope you’re ready for that.”
He’s had these brutal scars since he was fifteen years old, long before he’d ever shared his body with a woman. And not once in the years since has someone not noticed them. Or, if he dares to let himself imagine this is the case where Kaia is concerned—not cared.
“I’m ready.” He is. He’s more than ready. And there’s a lightness in the air that he hasn’t felt in years. It makes him giddy. So giddy that he playfully tosses Kaia onto the bed. He pulls a condom out of his pants pocket, then crawls toward her on his hands and knees, like a hunter after his prey.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Kaia watches Jason as he puts on the condom, his beautiful body on display. Even though he did a lot to hide it, he seemed to be a little anxious about her seeing him. She felt the scars when she was kissing him, could make out the topography of them under his shirt. She knew to expect something, and she could tell by Jason’s furrowed brow that he thought he was hideous.
She’d never voice this aloud, but Kaia thought there was an elegance to the way they dotted and swept across his torso. Focusing on the abstract beauty of them was an easy way to distract herself from thinking about what he’d gone through to get them. Jason didn’t seem like a person who would like to be pitied, so Kaia absolutely was not going to pity him.
She wanted him inside of her too badly to do that.
Jason plants one hand next to Kaia’s head, then leans down and kisses her. She wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. The tip of his cock brushes against the wetness between her legs, and she bucks her hips, hoping for more.
“Anxious, are we?” Jason teases.
Kaia is breathless. “I’ve been anxious since I left my apartment.”
Jason raises his brow. “Why’s that?”
“You know why.”
“Say it,” he says, that commanding tone in his voice again. All the playfulness that was in his eyes earlier is gone, replaced by this focused intensity. “Tell me what you want me to do to you.”
Kaia licks her lips. She’s not usually one for dirty talk, but she seems to be willing to do a lot of things she’s not used to as far as he’s concerned.
“I want you to fuck me. Hard.” She also wants it soft and slow, but she’s not sure she should ask for that. She figures there’s time. Later.
Jason doesn’t waste a second. He cradles himself between Kaia’s legs, and slides inside, giving her a moment to adjust to the size of him.
“Christ,” he says, burying his head in the curve of her neck. “You feel so good.” His hips snap into hers as he gets his bearings, then raises his head and looks at her. “So fucking good.”
Kaia wraps her arms around Jason’s shoulders, hanging on for dear life. She asked for it hard and fast, and that’s exactly what he’s giving her. Their skin slaps together as they kiss frantically, pleasure coiling up inside of her. She’s not going to last long like this, and she doesn’t think he is, either. There’s too much anticipation in the air, too much want…
“Touch yourself, Kaia.”
The sound of her name on his lips as he moves inside of her makes her crazy with want.
“Do it,” he commands. “Rub your clit now.”
Kaia slides a hand between their bodies, and does as he asks, sparks thrumming through her veins, igniting every nerve inside of her body.
She bites her lower lip, not wanting to embarrass herself, as her pleasure spikes higher and higher. She’s losing the thread, unraveling…
“I want to hear you,” he says, voice low and rumbly. “Don’t hold back.”
She looks up at him, still unsure about doing what he asks for whatever reason, even though she’s hurtling toward an orgasm as he pistons inside of her.
She wants to yell, she just…
Jason stills, his hand cupping her cheek. “You told me you wanted to make every second of tonight count,” he says, chest heaving. “And I won’t know how much harder I need to make you come a second time, if I don’t have a starting point.”
Oh god. The promise of more leaves her breathless.
“Give me a starting point,” he says, as he starts steadily rocking into her. “Let me hear you.”
Kaia plants her feet on the bed, and uses the mattress as leverage, riding herself against him, her clit rubbing against the ridge of his cock in the perfect way.
“Make me scream, then,” she challenges.
With his hands fisted in the sheets, and sweat beading across his brows, Jason does just that.
He follows her seconds later.
* * * * *
Early that morning, Kaia has a delicious ache between her legs. Jason had made good on his promise, making her come harder and scream louder their second go-round, and then again on their third. She came again with his face between her thighs, then gave Jason what he described as, “the best fucking blow job of my life.”
All-in-all, not a bad way to spend the evening. Especially not when she opens her eyes with his arms wrapped around her, his chest a solid wall of muscle at her back.
She finds herself wanting to ask about his scars, wanting to find out things about him that she can take with her when she goes. She knew that wanting more was a risk she was taking when she agreed to this whole thing, she just didn’t take the time to consider that she’d actually want more.
Kaia shakes her head, banishing those thoughts. Nothing good can come of them.
“Can’t sleep?”
Jason’s voice is low and rumbly, but it doesn’t startle her.
“You wore me out,” she says with a soft laugh, and she’s not sure she’s imagining Jason’s arms pulling her closer. “But I wasn’t sure if sleeping was part of the whole one-night-only bargain.”
Truthfully, she’d planned on being gone when he woke up. She doesn’t want to make this any more difficult or weird than it already will be.
Jason presses a kiss to the back of her neck.
“Sleeping is allowed. I…”
His voice falls off, because he is clearly rethinking whatever it is he was going to say. Kaia’s too curious to let it drop, though.
“You what?”
“Nothing,” he replies. “It’s probably better if I don’t say it.”
Kaia turns in his arms, until she’s facing him. She presses a kiss to his lips, because she just has this one chance, and the clock is ticking, and she doesn’t want to waste a single second.
“Well, that did absolutely nothing to quell my curiosity.”
Jason laughs. “I have an early flight,” he explains. “I have a meeting in San Francisco. But if I didn’t, I would’ve liked to take you to breakfast.”
There’s a fluttering under Kaia’s diaphragm when she hears those words. But they don’t mean anything, not really. They’re designed to make her think that a door is open, when it’s really shut.
“Yeah.” Kaia tilts her head down, unable to look Jason in the eye. “It would’ve been better if yo
u hadn’t said that.”
Because she wants it. She wants breakfast and more, and she knows, she knows she can’t have it. Maybe that’s why she wants it so badly, because it’s just out of reach.
She looks at the clock. It’s quarter to six; might as well make a break for it now. This isn’t going to get any easier.
Kaia rolls to her side, only to be caged in by Jason’s strong arms.
“Where are you going?” he asks. His brows are furrowed in genuine confusion.
“I think I should probably go.”
“No, I…” He lets her go, then rolls over on his back, sliding his fingers through his hair as he stares up at the ceiling. “I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”
“You do have a way with words.” Kaia slings her legs over the side of the mattress, then stands up.
“What does that mean?”
“Only a few people could make it sound like they’re opening a door while confirming that it’s still shut.”
He shakes his head. “Kaia.”
“It’s okay,” she says. “I knew what this was going in. You made that very clear.” She gives him a tremulous smile, the best one she can muster. She doesn’t want him to think that she’s angry.
She’s not, she’s just…disappointed for reasons that don't quite make sense, considering they only just met.
“I’m going to come with you,” he says, tossing the covers aside.
“What? No. You’re not coming with me.”
“Like hell I’m not,” he argues. “It’s still dark outside. I need to make sure you get home safely.”
“Do you make sure your other one-night-stands get home safely?”
From the way his gaze casts downward toward the floor, Kaia knows that’s a resounding ‘no.’
“Then I don’t want you to do that for me, okay?”
“If you don’t want me to come with you, then my driver is going to drop you off at your apartment. I won’t take no for an answer.”
Kaia ignores him as she walks over to where her dress is in a pool on the floor. She slides it on, isn’t really all that surprised when she feels the warmth of his body behind her, his fingers pulling the zipper closed.
“Kaia.” His voice is too close for her liking. “Take the car.”
“How do you have a car at your disposal at the hotel you take your…” ‘Booty calls’ is right at the tip of her tongue, but she doesn’t say it. She doesn’t want to be mean to him, especially when she’s the one who’s having second thoughts about the whole arrangement that he laid out very clearly.
The arrangement that she agreed to.
God. It was just sex. Why does she want to stay?
Just so he won’t press her any further, she agrees. “Okay, I’ll take the car.”
“I’ll call down to the front desk. Let me walk you.”
She shakes her head. “No. Please don’t. Let’s just…”
Kaia wraps her arms around him, and kisses him for all that she’s worth. He responds eagerly, wrapping his body around hers, practically melting into her.
If this is all she can have of him, she’s leaving with a souvenir.
“Kaia,” he whispers.
She’s certain Jason didn’t mean for her to hear that.
She quickly grabs her shoes and her clutch, and walks out the door before she winds up doing something ridiculous, like trying to stay.
She came here looking for a good time, and she got exactly that. But never in a million years would she have ever guessed she’d leave here feeling so lonely.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Jason sits in the far corner of a hip, crowded restaurant in San Francisco, even though his mind is 3,000 miles away, back in New York.
He can’t stop thinking about Kaia, about how she looked before she left yesterday morning. About how he never wanted to break his own rule so badly, and how surprised he is that he regrets that he didn’t.
He’s driven to distraction by the thought of her, and he really, really needs to get over that. He has to find a way to get her out of his mind.
Across from him sits Elise Whittington, a woman who has known him his entire life. She was his mother’s best friend and confidante, as well as Jason’s Economics professor at Stanford. In the years since his mother has passed, Elise has been something like a maternal figure in Jason’s life. She hasn’t taken his mother’s place, exactly, but she tries to be there for him in whatever way she can be.
Tonight, that includes a long-overdue reunion over dinner.
“Glad you finally made it in,” she says, before taking a sip of her wine. “I was beginning to think that you telling me that your meeting was running over was code for nerves.”
“Have I ever lied to you?”
Elise raises a brow. During his late teen years, when she and her husband were his guardians, he lied to her quite a bit.
“Just difficulty closing a deal,” he replies nonchalantly. “No need to look into it any further than that.”
Elise purses her lips together, a sign that Jason is all too familiar with from his childhood. He decides to derail the conversation and take control of it while he can.
“Thank you for inviting me here.” He reaches for his drink. “I’ve never given a guest lecture before. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Oh, please.” Elise waves him off. “Getting the CEO of one of the largest investment firms in the world was huge for me, Jason. Especially one who’s an alumnus? The lecture hall is going to be standing-room only.”
Jason grins. “I hope I live up to everyone’s expectations.”
“I wouldn’t have asked you to come all the way out here if I didn’t think you could. Are you nervous at all?”
“Absolutely not,” Jason replies, shaking his head. He thrives on the energy of a large crowd, loves the thrill of catching peoples attention and holding on tight.
Jason has the kind of swagger and self-assuredness that draws people in, that makes them want to listen to what he has to say. He’s gotten pretty far in life using that skill, and has charmed money out of investors that way more times than he can count.
“Are you staying long?” Elise asks with her hope-filled voice.
Jason smiles softly at her, because he’s about to give her an answer he knows she doesn’t want to hear.
“No.”
“So, this is a dine-n-dash, huh?” Elise aims for teasing, but sounds too hurt to pull it off.
Jason shakes his head. “Not really. I’m paying for dinner, giving the lecture in the morning, and then I’m dashing.”
“You know what I mean,” Elise says disapprovingly. “You’re not even home for forty-eight hours.”
What Jason can’t bear to tell her is that this isn’t his home anymore, that if tragedy hadn’t made him want to leave and find a new life in New York, then he probably would’ve ended up there eventually anyway.
“I can’t stay. There’s a board meeting tomorrow, and I have some business I need to attend to before that. The sooner I catch my flight, the sooner I can get it taken care of.”
“I’ve taught you well,” Elise replies, sounding every bit the proud professor she is.
She takes a long, drawn-out sip of her red, watching Jason from over the rim of her glass. He knows from experience that this means an inquisition of sorts is in his very near future. He straightens his back, preparing himself for the onslaught.
“So, since it seems like this is the only time I’m going to have to spend with you this visit, fill me in on your life.”
Jason relaxes a little. He was expecting something worse than a general request for information.
“There’s not much to fill in. Work is going well. I’ve got a few new ventures I’m looking for investors for; I don’t have anything shored up yet. My client base is growing, and thanks to you and your fellow educators doing a fine job with the graduate set, I’m able to hire a lot of talent right out of the gate.”
“That’s great,” Elise
replies with a genuine smile. “But that’s not what I’m asking you. Business I can read in the newspaper, Jason. I’m asking about your life.”
Jason knows exactly where this conversation is going, but he doesn’t have an answer that she wants to hear.
“Why don’t you ask me what you want to ask me, then.”
“You’re twenty-seven, Jason. I see your name pop up on gossip sites now and again, and you’re always pictured with a different woman. I know that after what happened-”
“Elise,” Jason warns, his whole body tensing.
She steels her shoulders and continues anyway.
“I know that after what happened that you’re scared to form attachments to people, but you can’t spend your life hopping from bed to bed-”
“Stop,” he replies firmly. Not just because he absolutely does not want to hear her opinion on his sex life, but because she’s wrong about him and he can’t stand to listen to another word of it. “I’m living my life the way I want to live it; my past doesn’t have anything to do with that.”
“Oh, sweetie,” she says sympathetically. “How could it not?”
Jason hates the soft look in her eyes, the glassy reflection of the tears just waiting to be shed. He would do anything to avoid that look, the same one that people give him when they learn about what happened to him, to his family. It suggests a weakness, and if there’s one thing he knows, it’s that he’s not weak.
He’ll be damned if he lets anyone think he is.
“I’m young, and rich, and I have my pick of women to date. There isn’t anything wrong with taking advantage of that.”
“There isn’t,” Elise agrees cautiously. “But when you use that as an excuse not to form personal attachments because you think it’s dangerous-”
“It is dangerous,” Jason replies loudly, clapping his hand against the table top so hard that the glasses clink together. Even if he wasn’t so attuned to his surroundings, he still wouldn’t miss the way the chatter dies down after his outburst.