Yet despite the clarity of that one phrase, she didn’t believe that Leighna would allow her to go traipsing about all but naked.
She kept reading, not really comprehending the words. The phrase stuck with her. Her fingers flipped the pages, yet her mind was on why she really wanted to free Tayan. Lord Zodiac wasn’t the reason; neither was Tayan’s mission. She wanted Tayan with her. She wanted to break the shell he had formed around himself and have him love her as much as she loved him. Was it only selfishness that drove her? Selfishness was a sign of evil, not holiness. Father Ross had warned her that evil might try to trick her into doing something to weaken herself. Was Tayan’s capture designed to make her break her vows, therefore weakening her in Leighna’s eyes?
Amber closed the bible and put it away. The questions she was asking herself should have simple, clear-cut answers. They were nothing of the kind. She had vowed to live a life of service and humility. Service was to help others, to give guidance and faith to lost souls. Humility was to do so while giving credit where it belonged, to Leighna. The brown robes she wore outwardly spoke of humility, of not drawing attention to herself with flashy clothes or by parading about in alluring attire. To cast off her robes was to cast off her humility--Leighna was sure to punish her for such a transgression. She knew this, yet the words of Maria came back to her.
No evil shall come of any act done for the sake of love.
She wanted to weep at the frustration of it. Wandering to the chapel, she knelt in front of the altar in prayer. Clasping her talisman tightly between her hands, she prayed with all her soul for guidance. Clearing her head of colliding thoughts, she concentrated on her prayers for Leighna to give her humble servant direction.
Her knees began to get sore. That she noticed told her that her concentration was wavering. Clasping her talisman tighter, she tried to ignore her hurting knees.
“Sister?”
She looked up to see Father Wright.
“Are you troubled over those men you struck?” he asked with a frown.
She shook her head--if it were only that simple! “Father, I have a very difficult problem. I hesitate to even speak of it.”
The priest sat down on the steps beside her. “For a woman of your strength to be so troubled, it must be difficult. Will you discuss it with me? Perhaps we may come to a solution together.”
She hesitated to tell him, but if she could not trust the head of the church, who could she trust?
“Father, it has to do with a man. He is a good man beset by evil. If I do what I believe I must to free him I may be shunned by Leighna, yet I cannot stand by and let evil take him away.”
“That is a problem,” he agreed. “What evil besets him?”
“Martin Toma.”
Father Wright chuckled. “You don’t mean our duke, do you? He openly supports the church and is very generous with his gifts to the poor. How can you think he is evil?”
Warning bells went off in her head, but she ignored them. “Father, he is holding Lord Tayan and plans to send him north, where evil will have him.”
“What makes you think that?”
“That is what I know,” she stated. “Dark things have been following us--in Paladnia one tried to enter the church to get at him. Lord Zodiac sent me to guard Tayan, and now he’s being held in Martin Toma’s castle.”
“Lord Zodiac sent you to guard him?” he asked in disbelief. “Sister, I think the devil has your senses! Duke Toma is a good man. He is not the one who lives in the woods and consorts with heathen druids!”
They both rose to their feet at the same time. Out of instinct, Amber cocked her body into a defensive pose, her right shoulder pointing at the priest.
“Father, Lord Zodiac has found the source of evil, and he needs us to spread word and gather support for an attack on the plains.”
The priest’s face flushed. “You are working for a Longforest lord? Where are your loyalties child--to druids or to Leighna?”
“To both!” she said firmly. “Druids do not believe as we do, but they are decent people. Lord Zodiac is trying to rid our lands of evil. The druid Odif is by no means pure, but she commands power to help us remove evil forever!”
“You hold allegiance with the likes of Odif the Druid?” he asked, raising his voice to a roar and pointing a finger at her. She slapped it away with the back of her hand. Flustered and enraged, he backed a safe distance away from her. “I should have known you were not a real Sister when you attacked those men!”
“They pulled a knife on me! What was I suppose to do, pray they would not kill me?” she asked with acid in her voice. “And I am a real Sister, just not one who will stand for being assaulted!”
“Neither will I stand for you accusing Duke Toma of siding with evil!” he shot back. “Renounce your accusation, renounce the druids this minute or I shall have your robes!”
Forgetting where she was, Amber glared at him. “The only way you will get my robes is to pull them from my dead body!”
Right after she said it, she knew she had just made a horrid mistake. No matter how angry she was she had no right to talk to him that way. Her face softened. “Father, I’m sorry...”
“You will be sorry!” he yelled, shaking all over. “At the first light of dawn, we will hold a hearing on your...blasphemous behavior! At that time you will hand over your robes, or they will be stripped from you! You will leave this church with lash marks on your flesh to show others what happens when common wenches masquerade as Sisters of the cloth!”
Her life was over. Amber knew she would no longer be associated with the church. Messengers spread news quickly these days--within a few weeks, Father Wright would notify every church and parsonage for a hundred miles around. Word would get back to Capetown that she had been cast out. Her head swam; she would be humiliated. She had failed Tayan, Lord Zodiac, her own parish and, worst of all, Leighna.
“Father, please,” she begged. “I said I was sorry.”
Stabbing a finger at the door, he boomed, “Get out! Do not return until first light!”
It was all she could do to hold herself up and walk out of the chapel. How had their words gotten so out of control? One minute she was praying for guidance, and the next she was being banished from the church. It didn’t seem real. She worshiped Leighna, she was faithful--how could this happen to her?
She had no more than crossed the threshold when her legs would no longer hold her up. Collapsing on the chapel steps, she hugged herself and cried in wracking sobs. In the morning her way of life, her very identity, was going to be taken from her. Her reason for being would cease to exist. She had feared that evil would weaken her. It didn’t have the chance to--she had done it herself.
Yet even as she wallowed in her misery, that one phrase stayed in her mind. No evil shall come of any act done for the sake of love.
How sorely she wanted to believe it.
***
Only Father Wright, Sir Arlan and the scribe were present when she returned to the chapel at dawn. She walked down the aisle in a plain brown blouse and skirt she had gotten from the homeless shelter, holding her beloved robes folded neatly in her left hand. As she approached the men gathered in the first row of pews, she noted that only Father Wright was watching her. Sir Arlan seemed to be interested in the stained glass windows to his right, and the scribe was intent on his parchments.
Amber had thought much about what had happened here the previous night. Father Wright was either blinded by Toma’s gifts, or he was in league with Toma. Either way, it didn’t matter. She had asked Leighna for guidance, and her Goddess had taken away her robes. There had to be a reason behind it; she refused to believe that Leighna would cast her aside. Without her robes, she was just like any other person on the street. Also, without her robes, she could do what she had to in order to free Tayan. Although this was not what she had expected, Leighna had answered her prayers.
In the sleepless night she had endured, she came to a decision. What hap
pened to her didn’t matter. She would go into that castle and allow herself to be humiliated and let them do as they wished with her. When she had the chance, she would get Tayan out and on his way. She knew it was going to work, for no evil could come from any act done for the sake of love.
Fixing her eyes on the altar, she walked past the men to gently lay her robes between the offering plates and the gold candlesticks. Kneeling, she clasped her talisman in her hands and prayed, “Dear Leighna, thank you for your blessings. Please give me the strength to cope with the humiliation that is brought to me. You are my light and life, in your name I pray, Amen.”
She rose and turned around to see Father Wright looking at her intricately carved talisman. The torch of the tiny green goddess was even painted yellow.
“Young lady, I believe that also belongs to the church,” he said evenly.
She knew he had left out her title as a final insult.
“This was a gift from Father Bennet. You have my robes as you insisted, but hear this--when my mission is complete, I will be back for them.”
The priest’s face reddened. “You will never again wear holy robes!”
Amber knew that might very well be true. It was hard to step down and walk away from her beloved robes, but what happened to her was not the most important issue. She had her path; and if Leighna led her away from robes forever, she had to accept it. Passing Father Wright, she stopped. There was one last thing she had to say.
Looking at him defiantly, she said, “You may take my robes, but it is more than cloth that makes a Sister, or a priest. I have my faith, and that is something that can never be taken away.”
“Just get out,” he grated.
Suddenly, Sir Arlan blurted out, “Sister, why has this happened to you?”
“She is no longer a Sister!” hissed the priest.
Amber answered the knight as if Father Wright weren’t even there. “Sir Arlan, I have been defrocked because I consort with Lord Zodiac, and I know that Tayan is being held by Duke Toma. Would you be kind enough to inform Governor Stazor of our situation? I will send word if I am able to free Lord Tayan.”
“Enough talk, get out of my church!” the priest barked, taking a step towards her.
Sir Arlan blocked his path. “Is this true?”
Pointing an accusing finger at Amber, he said, “She consorts with druids and spreads lies about good and decent men!”
“And when is her trial?”
The priest smirked. “She has foregone a trial--didn’t you see?”
“I saw a Sister have her robes removed for no good reason. If she believes that Duke Toma is not the man you think, it should be investigated! How dare you take such action by yourself!”
The angry finger came up at Sir Arlan. “You are a knight! Do not meddle in the affairs of the church!”
Sir Arlan swayed in place as if restraining himself from beating the priest. “I am reporting this to Governor Stazor and High Father Ross. Your word is questionable, good Father.”
Wright was beside himself. “You...find me questionable? I shall inform your superiors!”
“Please do so,” Sir Arlan grated. “As for Sister Amber,” he continued, stressing “sister,” “she shall be allowed to keep her robes until a proper trial is held by no less than two Fathers and three Mothers, as the law decrees.”
“You cannot tell me what to do!”
Sir Arlan swelled his chest up, glaring at the priest. “As you said, I am a knight. That means I am the law. Return Sister Amber’s robes or be held in contempt of the laws set by Odin himself!”
Without waiting for Father Wright to reply, he turned to tell Amber to pick up her robes.
She had already gone.
Chapter 8
At the Paradise Inn, Nathaniel sat across the table from Amber, considering her request. In normal clothing, she did have a nice figure. Despite the pits in her face, her large breasts and slim waist would be enough to get her into the castle.
“You understand that I will have to offer you as a virgin. You do know what that means?”
Amber nodded stiffly. She was doing this for Tayan and their mission, but it felt as if she was selling her soul to the devil.
"Whoever...gets me, I need to be inside as soon as possible.”
Eyeing her figure, he said, “All right. Madam Lisa has makeup that should smooth out your face. She’s taking a group of dancing girls to the castle--can you dance?”
“Yes.” She had seen the type of dancing these women did. Alter a few fighting moves and exercises, and that was basically all it was.
Nathaniel sighed. “It’s settled then. If you dance well enough, custom has it you can pick the man to...deflower you. Whatever you do, be back here no later than noon tomorrow. The coach will not wait any longer, and if you do have Tayan no place in town will be safe. Not even the church.”
“I understand.”
“And now, my payment?” he asked, making motions of opening his shirt.
Amber swallowed hard. All she had done so far was to think about it and plan. The tavern was empty except for the barkeep, who was watching intently as he washed a few mugs. This was the first time she would show her body to anyone, and the idea was horrifying her.
“If you can’t do it here, there is no way you will do it in a room full of sex-crazed noblemen,” Nathaniel pointed out.
Feeling as if she were exposing her soul, she unfastened her blouse and slowly opened it wide. Nathaniel gave a low whistle, and the barkeep dropped his mug.
“Now those are very nice.” Seeing the flush in her face as she looked off at nothing, he asked, “Are you sure you can do this?”
Fighting the urge to clap her blouse shut and run from the place in shame, she lowered her gaze to stare him in the eye. “I have to.”
Shaking his head slightly, he gave her a grin. “Sister, I would not want to have you mad at me.”
She closed her blouse, much to the dismay of the barkeep. “I have no reason to be, unless the coach is not here.”
Nathaniel got up, shoving his chair back. “It will be. Let’s get you to Madam Lisa; she has a ton of work to do on your face.”
For the next few hours, Amber went through the most humiliating experiences of her life. Madam Lisa was a tall woman with short pale hair. Her low-cut dress fit her snugly. Although she was very sweet to a few men who had drifted into the house, she was a taskmaster with Amber.
The first thing she had her do was strip naked. She made her turn this way and that, made her bend over then raise her arms over her head. As Amber performed these maneuvers, the madam studied her body, every once in a while grabbing a pinch of skin. The last inspection was the worst--she did not take anyone’s word that Amber was a virgin. Amber had to clench her teeth and suffer through Madam Lisa poking a finger up into her to verify she did, indeed, have her maidenhead. After that, she made Amber dance naked as she watched with a critical eye.
After Lisa decided she would be “serviceable,” she allowed Amber to don a wrapper then took her to a room that stank of powder and perfume. When she was done, Amber noted her face did look smooth for once. What she felt was that her face was pasted thick with mud. She sneezed at the powder and wrinkled her nose at the amount of perfume sprayed over her. In short, she looked and felt like a common whore.
The only thing she was allowed to pick was the color of the minute patches of cloth that would go over her groin and breasts. Her top resembled more of a double-pocketed sling than it did clothing. The bottoms were just big enough to hide her crotch and expose a good portion of her behind. What worried her most, though, was that there was no place to hide the bag she planned on stuffing Tayan into. Talking as sweetly as she could, she finally convinced Lisa that the bag, folded and strapped to her chest, would give the men a bit more to visualize. Folded in half, the bag only went halfway around. She used silver clips to attach long cords to the bottom corners, which she then wrapped around to her back, twisted and drew over h
er shoulders. Slipping the ends into her cleavage and back up, she slightly pleated the center of the bag and cinched them in place. Light-colored silks were tucked into her thong and top for effect, which Lisa explained would have to be flung away as she danced. Finally ready, she boarded with the others into a coach that took them to the castle.
***
Tayan pressed against the wall beside the door of his windowless room. He had heard a male voice outside--maybe they were replacing his guards with men again. Listening closely, he heard the man whispering to the women. The door suddenly swung open and spilled one of his guards, a young woman wearing nothing but sheer silks, into the room. Just as quickly, it slammed shut and the bolt was thrown.
She backed away from him. “Please don’t kill me, I only bring a message.”
“I’m not going to kill you.” Even without his weapons he had broken the necks of three guards and killed two others by driving their noses into their brains. During his capture, they had taken pains and the loss of men to wrestle him to the ground. He killed every man he had the chance to, but he couldn’t harm women.
Lifting a hand to brush the light-brown strands of hair from her face, the woman said, “The duke wants to talk to you. Will you give your promise not to hurt him?”
“Let him come ask,” he replied flatly.
Giving him a forced smile, she glanced at the mattress on the floor. “Perhaps I could convince you?”
The woman was so thin her ribs showed clearly. She looked sad, standing there offering to lie with him to extract a promise. That anyone could convince women to give themselves so freely made his stomach turn.
“No, not that way.”
Biting her lip, she glanced at the door. “Please, there must be something I can do.”
He knew she was afraid of some kind of punishment if she didn’t get him to cooperate. “What will he do to you if I don’t?”
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