by Vivian Lux
I nodded and consciously unclenched my fist. "Jules, yeah."
"He's giving you trouble?"
"In so many words. Yes."
My brother the business major, who'd just decided to make the move to pre-law laughed as if the solution was obvious. "So fire him."
My heart stilled and I tasted a bright burst of panic in the back of my throat. I shook my head. "Leo this isn't your beloved Wolf of Wall Street," I scoffed, trying to ignore the way my whole body had broken out into goosebumps at the thought of firing Jules. "I can't fire him, he's a founding member of the band. He's the heart and soul of their sound." My words were coming faster now, in a great, panicked rush. "His drumming is what makes this band work so well. I mean, haven't you listened to the albums I sent to you? And you'd better not tell me you haven't, I sent you the mp3s, the CDs and the vinyl, just so you had it in all formats."
"I get it. I've listened," he protested. "I swear."
"So can't you hear how deep his technique runs?" I closed my eyes. "Listen to 'No Promises' okay? Hear how he barely touches the snare. It's just that light little tickle that runs through the song." I exhaled softly, hearing it run through my head and I remembered the first night I'd seen him play it live. "You almost don't know it's there," I said reverently. "But without it, that song wouldn't be half of what it is. But then you take that track and put it side by side next to 'Feeling of Falling.' That one is on the third album right? Are you writing this down? That's the one where his drumming is all muscle and heft." I felt myself nodding. "There are a lot of drummers out that that can do the muscle and heft thing, a lot fewer who can do the delicate thing. Very few at all are able to pull of both. He's basically one of a kind," I declared, feeling slightly out of breath.
Leo was silent for a moment too long. "Jesus, August," he finally muttered. "Why don't you marry the guy?"
My tongue suddenly felt too big for my mouth. "Shut up," I slurred. "I don't date musicians."
My brother's laugh dripped with sarcasm. "You kidding me, Auggie? Those are the only guys you date."
"Well I'm trying something new," I said stiffly. "Going for the appropriate guys."
"Oh good." I could almost hear his eyes rolling.
I rolled my eyes right back. "I will not stand for my little brother judging me," I teased. "Specially not the biggest screw-up of the family."
"Hey!' he protested.
"Nah," I relented. "That title will always belong to Cabot. You're okay, Leo." I remembered something. "But you won't be if you don't call home. Mom tells me you haven't called in a week. Get your ass on that."
He groaned "Whenever I call, she always keeps me on the phone for three hours."
"She gave birth to you. I was there. You were eleven pounds. You owe her. Call your mother, Leo."
"Fine I will as soon as I hang up with you."
"Good. I don't know why I always need to remind you, you know. How on earth do you expect to make it through law school if you need a babysitter all the time."
"Hey Auggie?" Leo interrupted gently. "I can't call Mom until you shut up and let me get off the phone with you."
"Fine," I huffed. "I need to call Tate anyway, you heard from him?"
"Um," Leo said guiltily.
"You're the worst."
"Love you," he sang out.
"Yeah I love you too, you idiot." I sighed as I hung up the phone. I was feeling like myself again. Competent. In charge. To hold on to that feeling, I dialed Tate's number immediately.
His phone just rang. Finally his voicemail picked up on the fifth ring. "Hey," I said after the beep. "Just checking how that meeting with your professor went. You never called me." I leaned out a little further and saw a tall figure walking across the lawn. "Um," I said, hurrying up. "I'm glad you're out and about and not glued to your phone, but call me back when you get this, okay Tater? If I don't pick up, just leave me a message."
There was a knock on the door. "Be there in a second!" I called. I hung up and tucked my phone into my purse. Then pulled out a tube of lipstick and smoothed it over my bottom lip. I smacked my lips together and checked my reflection.
I was trying something new.
"Hey," I said to Eric as I opened the door. He was such a nice guy he'd readily agreed to another date, even after Jules had been such an ass. I'd felt like I'd owed him another chance. I hoped this time... with Jules out of sight..."Ready to try this again?" I asked.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jules
"Fuck," Niall muttered, yanking his headphones off his face and throwing them to the floor. "Sorry about that."
"'S'alright, mate," I muttered and glance up at Jimmy. "From the top?" I asked
"Hey guys?' August's voice clicked on over the PA. "It's getting round time to break for dinner any way."
"Did you order in?" Ewan asked her.
She shook her head and clicked the mic again. "I thought since we'd be doing overdubs late into the night, we could all use a change of scenery for a few hours."
I sat back on my stool. "I could kiss you," I told her.
She wrinkled her nose and then looked down at her watch. "Clean up and we'll meet outside in ten? I've got a phone call to make real quick."
"Freedom!" Ewan crowed, a la Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
"You're an embarrassment to proud heritage of the Scots," Niall informed him.
Ewan launched himself at Niall, dragging him down in a headlock. It had been a long day and we all had a bunch of steam we needed to blow off. August was a genius for arranging a real dinner break.
"Where're we going?" Hudson wondered.
"As long as there's a lager on tap I don't give a fuck," I sighed rapturously. "That pub we ended up in the other night, that was acceptable." In my mind's eye, I could picture sliding into a booth next to August. She was wearing this skirt and boot combo today that left a tantalizing strip of flesh exposed on her thighs, that I longed to 'accidentally' brush my hand along.
"Has it been ten minutes yet?" I wanted to know.
"Steady, mate," Ewan muttered.
I jumped up from my stool. "You know how she gets about being on-time," I declared. "I just don't want her upset, you know? Hell hath no fury like August Waverly when you fuck with her timetables."
My desperation was naked and pathetic enough that Ewan had to look away from me, embarrassed. "Sure, mate," he drawled. "Let me just finish with my kit." He bent to set his guitar up on the racks and then looked behind him. "Oy, lad, if you don't stop hovering over me like that, I'm going to knock your head off."
"You're slower than my Gran after her hip replacement," I complained, but backed off.
There was a faint dinging sound in the air. "It's been exactly ten minutes, now," Hudson called. He grinned and waved his phone. "I set my timer when August told us to meet her. I wanted to see if you could last the full ten minutes."
I blinked at him as Ewan and Niall fell out laughing. "Hey fuck you," I chided Hudson. "I thought you were the nice one."
"I thought I was being pretty nice," he laughed with a gleam in his eye that was anything but. "Planned on telling you if you went running out there early and making a fool of yourself."
I shook my head in amazement. "Looks like it's time for your first official beating." He laughed and then grunted as I tackled him around the waist. He was stronger than he looked, but I fought dirtier, using an illegal rugby hold to bring him down to his knees.
"Okay! Ow, I give, I give!" Hudson laughed. I stepped back and helped him up.
"You know?" Niall remarked. "I know we've been playing and recording together for a couple months now, but getting tackled by Jules? I think that marks your official initiation into the band." He walked up and slapped Hudson on the back as Hudson massaged his kidney. "Congratulations, you're a complete idiot."
"Hear hear!" Ewan crowed. "I'll drink to that! Let's get to the pub, mates. I'm bloody parched." He eyed me and suddenly bolted for the door, blocking my path.
"You bloody..." I
ran after him, laughing, yanking him back by the shirt collar. We tumbled out of the studio into the waning sunset and the rush of cool air made me feel even more alive. I was making music with my best mates and I was about to sit next to the prettiest, smartest, best-smelling girl in the world and work like hell to make her like me. Maybe even make her smile.
Best night of my life, I was convinced of it.
Until I saw Ewan slow down to a confused halt. "Fuck," I heard him say.
I was still too high to understand what I was seeing. Somehow, another person had materialized, someone standing way too near to August. They both turned as the four of us skidded to halt to see them.
Eric raised his hand. "Hey guys!" he called out.
August stepped away from him and shoved her hands in her pockets. Her smile was all different kinds of wrong, bright, brilliant and false. Her eyes fell on me, and then sort of slid guiltily past as she turned to the rest of the band. "Eric did something so nice for us!" she said, a note of agitation in her voice. "He's arranged it with the pub owner that you guys can have complete control of the juke box tonight, isn't that sweet?" She glanced at him and then back at us. "He saw how much you enjoyed it the night we were there last...."
She trailed off and her smile faltered a second before she pinned it back on.
What the hell was she doing?
Hudson was the first one to recover his powers of speech. "Hey, that's great man," he said, noncommittally.
"Anything for my favorite guests," he said, cheerfully slinging his arm over August's shoulder.
"Oy," I muttered. I thought I kept my voice low enough, but August shot me a pleading look.
"So since Eric came by," she went on. "I was going to grab a ride with him, okay? Is one of you able to drive?" She looked embarrassed and sort of shrugged away from under Eric's arm. "Or Eric, you could maybe come in the van with us? Is there enough room?"
"Definitely," I growled. "Because I'm fucking walking."
August's jaw fell open as I turned abruptly on my heel.
As I strode away, I counted my steps. Ten, eleven... twenty... twenty-five.
When I hit thirty, I heard her shout something behind me, and slap of her shoes on the ground. I was too pissed to smile, but I slowed up just a little to let her catch up with me.
"Where the fuck are you going?" she shouted, grabbing me by the arm and whipping me around.
I locked eyes with her deliberately before I spoke. "I'm going somewhere far away from this bullshit."
She planted her feet. She knew. She fucking knew. But we were still playing this game. "What bullshit?" she sneered.
"Cut the shit for once August." I was right up in her face, and she looked shaken but I knew she'd never back down. It's why I was crazy for her in the first place. "We've been playing this game too long and I'm done with it. I'm out."
"Get back to the van, we don't have time for this. This is just a short break and then you have to come back any way. You're looping today," she said, her voice low and smooth. Like I hadn't rattled her at all. Like I wasn't under her skin in the slightest. "You have a job to do."
I moved in closer. "So do you."
Her eyes blazed and I knew I'd hit her where she lived. "I always do my job," she insisted.
"You're not doing it right now," I told her, gesturing to the door. "You're leaving on a date with that tosser."
That proud chin lift again. "I'm single. I'm allowed to date."
"You want to date that loser?"
Her expression wavered. "He's nice."
I stepped closer. "He's not me."
She lifted her eyes to mine. We were so close I could see the flecks of yellow around her pupil. "Yeah," she said deliberately. "Like I said. He's nice."
So much build-up and in the end I just fucking did it.
I kissed her.
I meant for it to be small. A glancing blow across her lips to startle her, nothing more than that. But the instant my lips touched hers, she opened her mouth and the sound that escaped was a groan and a scream and a sob all wrapped together and it was the sexiest fucking thing I'd ever heard in my life. In an instant my tongue was sliding against hers, searching her hot mouth for an answer to the question I hadn't had words to ask until now. I want you. Do you want me?
And the answer I heard in her groan, that I felt in her parted lips and sharp, gasping inhale was Yes.
But the second I pulled back to ask her for real, she sort of staggered backwards, looking stunned. "I can't believe you did that," she gasped.
"You did it too, love," I reminded her.
She darted a look behind her. "No I," she trailed off. "I'm going," she said, turning in a clumsy one-eighty and then freezing in place..
I could still taste her. Her scent was still in my lungs and I didn't dare exhale. "You go," I murmured. "You walk away right now."
"I am."
"Do it then. Make me believe you don't want me."
She stepped to the side. Then straightened, lifting her legs like they were made of lead. Slowly, almost drunkenly, she started making her careful way back to the van. "August!" I called.
She stopped and half-turned.
"It's not working," I called after her. "I don't believe you at all."
Chapter Twenty-Two
August
The ladies' room of the only Italian restaurant in Bearsville was done up in alternating black and white subway tile. But they'd fucked up the pattern in the corners. Black, white, black, black, white. I knew this because I'd been hiding in the corner stall for far too long. Taking a deep breath, I splashed some water on my face and looked in the mirror. My fingers slid to my lips, where Jules' kiss still burned.
I'd been strong enough to walk away. Now I needed to be strong enough to stay away. I pushed the door open and walked back out into the restaurant to resume my date with a nice guy.
"I'm back," I said, sliding into the chair across from Eric. Then I looked around. "Hey, where'd my menu go?"
"Oh the waitress came while you were in the ladies ' room," he explained. "She brought rolls. I ordered for you already."
I blinked at him. "No one's ever done that before," I said icily.
He shrugged and leaned forward, putting his elbows on the table in the exact way I'd always yelled at my brothers to stop doing. He reached over and grabbed a roll and started sawing it in half with a butter knife. "I guess you've never gone out with a gentleman before," he said, with an insinuation in his voice I didn't like at all.
Had I imagined his niceness? What the hell? "Guess not," I said, leaning back and folding my arms. "Luckily for me."
"What? I got you something I know you'll like."
"Do you really now?" I could feel my cheeks heating up. "You have no idea what I like."
"I know what's good here," he said, firmly.
I shook my head and looked away, feeling a little nauseous at the prospect of spending a whole dinner with him. "What if I had a food allergy?" I blurted out.
"Do you?"
"No, but..."
"Then don't worry about it, you'll love it."
"I'm a vegetarian," I lied.
He grinned. "I figured as much. I got you the eggplant parm."
I wrinkled my nose. I detested eggplant in all its forms, but the breaded slime of eggplant parmesan was the absolute worst. "Do you order food for all your dates?" I wanted to know.
"Sometimes."
"Hmmm." Maybe it was the noise of tires on the gravel lot outside. Maybe I was just looking to plan my escape. I don't know what made me look out at that exact moment, but it was the moment a very familiar cargo van pulled up into the lot.
Relief at being rescued? Anger at being stalked? I had no idea what it was that made my stomach rise and fall on its own internal roller coaster, but it was welcome.
"What was that?" Eric wanted to know.
"Oh, I was just wondering something." I hesitated for a second, but my decision was made. "Is it 1950 in your head? B
ecause out here in the real world, it's 2017 and women are allowed to think for themselves."
I threw down my napkin and stood up just as Jules came striding through the door. "Sorry to interrupt, mate," he said, breezily snatching a roll out of the basket before reaching out his hand to me. "Ready to go, love?"
I pressed my lips together, then let my hand slide slowly against his palm. He closed his fingers tightly around my hand and lead me out the front door.
At the top of the steps that led down to the lot, I pulled my hand away. "What are you doing?" I asked, but it was more of a reflex then anything else.
"Told you, love. I'm done playing this game." He lifted his chin in the direction of Eric, still sitting here abandoned at our table. "Was it fun wasting your time with that knob?"
"He's a..." I trailed off. He wasn't a nice guy after all. "It's none of your business."
"I just need to know." He was standing on the step below me, his eyes level with mine. My lips burned with the memory of his kiss and the need for him to do it again. He lowered his voice as he leaned closer. "Does he do to you what I'm doing right now?" he asked softly, his breath grazing my cheek.
I inhaled sharply. "You're not doing anything for me." But the words came out all ragged and hoarse and he knew I was lying. He grinned and stepped up to me and lowered his forehead to mine so that we were eye to eye. I bit my lip, consciously pulling it into my own mouth before I pressed it to his by mistake. "Tell me, love," he murmured, tilting his head quizzically. "Can he make you feel this way? Can he make that pretty flush spread across your cheeks?" He lifted his hand and I made a small noise, but didn't back away when he pressed it to my heart and kept it there for a moment. "Can he make your heart race the way it's racing for me right now?"
"What do you want, Jules?"
"I want you to answer my question."
I swallowed, stalling. His hand was still pressed to my heart but his pinkie brushed downward every so slightly and to my horror, my nipple stiffened.
Jules glanced down and back up again. "Answer me. Pick one," he said, brushing his thumb lower. "Any one of them will suffice."