In a little came near tie. The while they the Cas-
THE CASTLE OF BOCHE-CLERMAUD.
great, gloomy seemed deserted, was to be seen dow or turret.
the front of it, Gar-out at the top of his voice to those inside : — building Not a face either from win-Riding alone to gantua shouted
"Are you there, or are you not? If you are there, don't stay! If you are not there, I shall have all this trouble for nothing."
All the answer a bold cannoneer, who had not been seen, and who was watching behind the ramparts, gave, was, after taking aim point-blank, to fire his cannon off, the ball furiously striking Gargantua on the right temple, but for all that not hurting him in the least.
" What is that?" he shouted. "How, are those fellows throwing
CANNONADING GAROANTUA.
grape-seeds at us ? If they are, the harvest will cost them dear," thinking that the balls were only grape-seeds.
On hearing his words — they could have been heard a mile off— those in the Castle rushed pell-mell to the towers and ramparts, and
GABGANTUA DESTROYS THE CASTLE.
fired more than nine thousand and twenty-five shots from their falcons and arquebuses, aiming each shot straight at Gargantua's head, which towered high above the ramparts. The guns were well pointed, and the balls hit the Giant so often that they began to bother him.
"Look here, Ponocrates, niy friend," he called to Ponocrates, who had just come up ; " these flies are blinding my eyes ! Jump down, please, and get me the biggest branch you can find to drive them away."
All this time, he was fully convinced that the leaden balls and the big stones hurled from the artillery were so many flies.
Giants are always very hard-headed, and sometimes as simple as they are hard-headed. Ponocrates, who knew better than that, told him what it was that was falling around him. Then, for the first time, Gargantua got really mad. He raised his big tree in proper position, and, turning the head of his Mare well towards the Castle, rushed furiously against the walls, tearing down all the towers and buttresses, and laying them in ruins on the ground. Not one of all those in the Castle, who had been laughing and making Gargantua their target from the ramparts, escaped. Paying no more attention to the ruins he went on to the mill-bridge, and found all the Ford, swollen by the rain, covered over with corpses, and in such number that the dead bodies had actually caused the water of the mill to stop running. Standing on the bank the party waited a bit, not at all liking to ride over dead men. That skipping monkey, Gymnaste, was the first to cross. He loudly swore that his horse was afraid of nothing, and that at home the beast never could get his feed without first stepping over a stuffed body, always put for that purpose in his way.
This satisfied the others, who soon crossed after Gymnaste, and Gargantua and his great Mare slowly followed, last of all.
CHAPTER XVIII.
HOW GARGANTUA COMBED CANNON-BALLS OUT OF HIS HAIR, AND HOW HE ATE SIX PILGRIMS IN A SALAD BEFORE SUPPER.
RANDGOUSIER'S Palace was not far from the Ford. In a very short time after leaving the river Gargantua galloped into the court-yard, where he was joyfully welcomed by the old King himself. You may imagine how he laughed, and then cried, and then laughed once more, loud and long, over his bis' son, for whom he had been so anxiously waiting. But the laughter lived after the tears. A queer thing happened after everybody had got comfortably seated. Gargantua, feeling a little warm after his ride, had already washed himself and put on some clean clothes, for he had learned to be a neat man ever since Ponocrates had given him that mysterious dose. He was now combing his thick hair, in a lazy sort of a way, with his own comb, which had been specially made in Africa for the young Prince on his tenth birthday. It was very large, —larger, in fact, than any comb that had ever before passed through a Giant's hair. Each tooth was an elephant's tusk, taken just as it had stood in the elephant's jaw. Every time Gargantua passed the comb through his locks, half a dozen of those balls which had stuck there when he was going through the wood of Vede would drop on the floor with a clattering noise.
The amazement of good Father Grandgousier, who had his glasses off and was nearly blind without them, when he heard these cannon-balls tumbling down from his sou's head on the floor, was something worth seems 1 .
" Ho ! ho ! ho ! my good son, hast thou brought fleas all this way from Paris ? Didst thou think we had none of our own here ? "
When Gargantua, on looking down, saw several balls at his feet, he did not know what to say. He had not felt them, and was even more puzzled than his father. But wise Master Ponocrates was always ready to give the best answer, in the best place, and in the wisest way, to any question asked. Stooping and picking up one of the balls, he said, bowing respectfully : —
GARGANTUA COMBS HIS HAIR.
'This,
Your Majesty, is one of the cannon-balls which your son, while he was passing the wood of Vede, received through the treachery of your enemies."
"So that's it, is it?" cried Father Grandgousier. "Oh! the audacious vermin, to try and shoot my only son ! Ho ! ho ! I hope not one of the rascals was allowed to escape."
"All of them," answered Ponocrates solemnly, "perished in the ruins."
" That is just as it should be," the old King said. " Now, ray lords, to supper ! "
There never was a supper so soon ready ! For, when the order had been first given, the three Very Fat Cooks — Snapsauce, Hotchpotch, and Braverjuice — all came forward gravely, and with their right hands on their hearts swore they would soon have the finest supper that had ever been eaten, even in the Palace which was famed throughout the world for the perfection of its feasts.
And such a supper as they did make !
When the Chief Cook Snapsauce was asked for an account of what he had sent up, here is the list he gave, all the while strutting like a turkey-cock; and he was just as red as one, too, as he read it, — so full of pride and of the kitchen-fire was he: —
Sixteen roasted beeves, Three heifers,
Thirty-two calves, Sixty-three kids, Ninety-five sheep,
Two hundred and twenty partridges, Seven hundred snipe,
Four hundred capons of Loudunois, Six thousand pullets,
The same number of pigeons,
Six hundred young, but specially fat, pullets, Fourteen hundred young hares, Three hundred and three bustards.
Besides these domestic birds and beasts there were to be found at this wonderful feast, eleven wild boars, kindly sent by the good Abbe de Turpenay ; eighteen red deer, the gift of the Lord of Grandmont; one hundred and forty pheasants, from the Lord of Essars; and such a number of nice things in the shape of turkeys, birds, ducks, wild geese, swans, varied by the best vegetables that could be found, the country round, as had never been known to be brought together on the same table.
I have not yet told something that took place a little while before this great supper. While all were waiting for it, Gargantua suddenly cried out: " Ho ! I feel dreadfully thirsty ! Somebody bring me a lettuce."
Father Grand-gousier, well pleased to grant whatever his son asked, but wanting to see him work a little for his own pleasure, answered him gaily : —
"There are some very fine lettuces growing in yonder garden, my boy. If thou wantest them the best thing thou canst do is to seek them thyself. Thou canst find none so tall as they in all this country." Sure enough, when Gargantua walked into the garden he found lettuces of all sizes ; some as high as plum-trees, and others again quite as tall as walnut-trees. He cut and whacked away at his will, and picked them up in his big arms, without, for a moment, troubling himself about what might be hidden in them. Now, it happened that six pilgrims, who, in coming all the way from St. Sebastian, had decided to rest for the night, had chanced, unfortunately, to be taking a quiet little nap between the cabbages and lettuces of the Royal Garden. When they were snatched up by Gargantua along with the lettuces, the poor pilgrims, only half-awake, were so frightened that they didn't dare even cough, m
uch less say a word.
Gargantua, being a fine, hearty fellow, was rather pleased with the idea of waiting on himself, and so, after carrying his lettuces to the fountain, he thought he might as well wash them, while his merry old father looked on, laughing at the joke. All this time the pilgrims, being half-drowned and in an awful fright, were whispering softly whenever they could get a chance to do so, one to the other: —
" Oh ! what is this monster going to do with us ? What is to become of us ? That fountain is drowning us among all these lettuces ! Shall we speak? But, if we say a word, that big fellow will kill us all as spies, sure. Oh ! we are undone ! "
While the pilgrims were thus giving way to their fears, Gargantua would, every now and then, whirl them around in the water along with his lettuces. Then he put the mess, just as it stood, into the biggest dish in the royal household, adding oil and vinegar and salt, and mixed them all well together. He had no sooner done so than he began to eat the lettuces, and, of course, with the lettuces, to gobble up the poor pilgrims. He had already taken five of them. The sixth was still in the great dish hidden away under a lettuce and, what from the water, and what from fear, was in a cold sweat. All that appeared of him was his pilgrim's staff, which he had never stopped clutching and which peered outside of the green herbs. When Father Grandgousier saw the staff, he cried out to Gargantua : —
" I do believe that is a snail's horn under that lettuce ! Don't eat it."
'Why not, father?" answered Gargantua' "thou knowest snails are good all this month."
What should he do then but draw out the staff and, with it, the unhappy pilgrim, whom, without seeing,— or, for that matter, feeling,— he swallowed with the greatest ease ! Then he poured down his great throat a horrible draught of country wine, while saying: "That salad has given me a famous appetite ! Is supper ready ? "
We already know how the supper went off; and, of course, what we want to know now is how the pilgrims could possibly get out of a Giant's mouth, having once got into it. The first thing they did, on being gobbled up, was to draw themselves out from Gargantua's great
THE PILGRIMS IN THE GARDEN.
teeth as well as they could, thinking all the time that they had been cast into the deepest dungeon of some frightful prison. That was bad enough ; but when Gargantua began to swallow his big drink, tossing the green lettuces past his teeth and sending it rushing down his throat like a sour deluge, they found themselves in a terrible fix and in danger of drowning. It was then that the poor fellows began to hop for their lives. Leaping nimbly, by aid of their staffs, they succeeded at last H getting out of the throat, and finding refuge outside of Gargantua's teeth, By ill luck, however, one of them, feeling here and there with his staff to know whether the country around was quite safe, gave a sudden plunge into the hollow of a bad tooth which had been troubling the Giant for some time. At this, Gargantua began to roar with the pain he felt, All he could think of in his agony was to call for his toothpick. When he got it, he began to prod viciously into the bad tooth. At last he grew tired, and putting his finger into his mouth, he hauled out one of the pilgrims by the leg; another by the wallet; another by his purse ; another by the arm ; and the poor man, who had caused all the trouble, by his neck; and threw each on the ground as one might a fish-bone.
As soon as they found themselves on the ground the pilgrims, without stopping to explain how it happened that they had been found in the lettuce-field, and feeling sure that Gargantua had not seen them, scampered away as fast as their legs could carry them.
CHAPTER XIX.
HOW FRIAR JOHN COMES TO THE FEAST, AND HOW KING GRANDGOUSIER HAD RECRUITED HIS ARMY.
IT was, of course, at this same supper, of which the three Very Fat Cooks were so proud, that the old King, as soon as ever the company were seated, started to give the whole story of the wicked war which Picrochole had made on him. When he came to that part of his story, in which he had to speak of the wonderful things Friar John had done in the Abbey vineyard, nothing would do but that the brave monk should be invited to the Palace to receive the thanks of the whole joyous party. Gargantua sent post-haste for Friar John.
In a little while — for the Abbey was not very far off— here came the good Friar on King Grandgousier's own mule, with his famous staff held firmly in his right hand. When he was once fairly in the dining-room, a thousand caresses and another thousand compliments greeted him.
"Welcome, Friar John ! Thou coiiiest in good time ! Welcome, brave cousin ! " shouted Grandgousier.
"We have kept your seat for you, Friar John," roared both Grandgousier and Gargantua in a sort of giant concert.
And so, at last, seated on the right hand of Grandgousier, the Friar was prevailed on to tell, in his own way, the story of his great fight for the Abbey. Nothing would do them but that everybody should jump up to see and feel for himself the glorious staff, with which so many valiant deeds had been done.
Then the staff was reverently placed in a corner of the room.
After supper, there was a long consultation about what ought to be done with Picrochole. As is always the way, one said one thing; another unsaid it; one had a plan ; some one else had something better. It was finally resolved not to wait for another day, but to start the very next midnight, which — it being now two o'clock in the afternoon— was only ten hours off. While some young men were sent out as spies to bring word what Picrochole was doing, the rest began to arm themselves with breast-plate and back-plate and all the iron and steel plates they could get hold of. There was a little trouble about what Friar John was to wear. They wanted to put their iron and steel stuff on him; but the brave monk wouldn't agree to it. He rushed to the corner where his staff was, grasped it with both hands, and waved it in the air, saying, " Don't trouble yourselves about me, good friends. This is what I saved my Abbey with! I know it, and it knows me; it is good enough for me! I am heart and soul with you. All I ask for is a stout horse, and you will find me with my staff by your side whenever you want me."
"Very well, Friar," Gargantua said, laughing. " Every conqueror has the right to choose his weapons. You are a conqueror; keep yours."
When all the clocks were striking midnight, Gargantua left the Palace with Ponocrates, Friar John always carrying his staff, Gym-naste, Eudemon the page, and twenty-five of the most adventurous knights, all armed from head to foot, and mounted like great Saint George himself, each with a stout archer behind him.
These were to be followed, the next morning, by the whole army, which had been recruited in a fashion that would look very strange to-day. Let me tell you how it all was !
Before Gargantua had come back from Paris, and while Picrochole was still galloping with his wicked soldiers over rich fields, and trampling down fruits and vines, and cursing and cutting and slashing away, and killing just as the fancy took him, Father Grandgousier had sent messages to his friends and neighbors living a hundred miles around, telling them all about the war; how his son Gargantua,
in whom trusted, was far away in Paris, studying hard at his Latin; and asking them to help him just as much as they could in money and men.
It was in this way that it was made as clear as the bright sun shining in heaven at noonday, how many friends the good old Giant really had. Some might say all this was because he was a Giant; but I think it was not so much that as because he had always, through a long life, been kind and gentle to little men.
Taking what one Prince, and another, gave in money, Father Grandgousier raised among his neighbors one hundred and thirty-four million and two and a half crowns of pure gold.
When he read their lists, giving the number of soldiers each one was able to lend him, he found that he would have : —
15,000 men at arms. 32,000 cavalrymen. 89,000 arquebusiers. 140,000 volunteers.
That is to say, 276,000 stout soldiers, all well equipped and provisioned for six months and four days. To which were to be added : —
11,200 cannon.
> 47,000 double cannon, etc.
The good old Giant felt very grateful; but he swore, nevertheless, a round oath that there was no need for him to accept so great an army. Where was he to put two hundred and seventy-six thousand soldiers? Where could he store away fifty-eight thousand cannon? If he could only be sure that his Gargantua would come home in time, why, he wouldn't care for any army at all!
" If my boy Gargantua should once get among that Picrochole gang, he would scatter them over the border quicker than they ever crossed it," he was saying to himself all the time.
Meanwhile, that rogue Picrochole was going on at such a rate with his pastime of cursing, killing, cutting, and slashing at men, and ravaging vineyards, and burning houses, that Grandgousier found that he had really to do something that would strike terror. So he sent another Royal Messenger to his friends the Princes, telling them that he would be satisfied, for the present, with
2,500 men-at-arms.
66,000 infantry.
26,000 arquebusiers.
22,000 pioneers.
6,000 light cavalry.
122,500 men, all to be well equipped and provisioned by his friends, as promised. He added, in a postscript, that all else he needed would be two hundred pieces of heavy artillery.
THE ADVANCE GUARD STABTS.
"Let them come at once," he said. "It my little boy should choose to stay among those wild Paris lads, they may be useful. But if he once gets home, I wouldn't give that " — snapping his fat old fingers — " for the whole Picrochole gang!"
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