One by one I went between them until I reached the last actor. He shook his head when I held out a postcard that everyone else had signed.
“You don’t need an autograph. I have something better for you. But only if your husband will let me borrow you for a little while.”
Max stepped right up beside me. “That depends on what you have in mind.”
“Don’t worry, friend, I have only honorable intentions.”
“It’s up to Sammy.” Max looked over at me.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Max. I’m curious as to what he might have up his sleeve.”
“Okay, then text me when you’re done. I’ll explore Gion a little more.”
“Thanks, Max.” I kissed his cheek.
Chapter 20
As soon as Max left, I was whisked into another room that was wall-to-wall with costumes. Each costume had its own personality. It didn’t even have to be worn to be understood.
“I want to give you the chance to transform, Samantha—in any way you please. In this room, miracles happen and true identities are revealed. Of course it doesn’t have to be that serious. You can also just choose something that looks like fun. But take your time. Once you pick a costume, we’ll get you into make-up and you can join us on our walk around Gion.”
“Really? That would be amazing.”
“It is a fun experience to see all of the expressions and reactions to our costumes. But the first step is choosing one. Don’t rush into it, take your time.”
His voice was soothing to me. Even though he was still hidden behind his make-up, I had the sense that he was a kind person—maybe even a kindred spirit. I seemed to feel that way with most creative people that crossed my path. We shared a different way of looking at the world around us.
I began to look through the costumes. As I flipped through some of the more understated garments, he stepped up beside me.
“Oh, are you a plain girl?”
“No.” I passed the costume for the next.
“So, you are a maid-servant?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Not even close.”
“Then why are you looking through these costumes? You have an entire room full of magnificent costumes and you are looking at the drabbest available. Is that what you are—drab?”
I shifted from one foot to the other. I certainly didn’t want to think of myself that way. But was that what I risked becoming when I returned home? I’d settle into a routine and blend into the background, just as the actors in these costumes might. Had I really regressed so far that this was what I thought of myself? How could I go before my readers if this was how I truly saw myself?
I glanced over at the other costumes.
“You don’t like any of them?” he prompted.
“I love all of them. But I wonder if I can really fit into them.”
“Size isn’t an issue. Each one is adjustable. I think you know that. So you’re worried that your personality won’t fit into them?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “I’m not sure that I should be drawing that much attention to myself.”
“You’re a well-known author. Isn’t that attention?”
“Maybe, but not like this.”
“Not like…you are someone that should be noticed?”
“Yes, that’s it. It’s like advertising for attention.”
“It sounds to me that someone once told you that nice girls stay in the background. We don’t allow that here. And besides, there are no nice girls.”
“Excuse me?” I laughed. “I think I’m very nice.”
“But you’re not.” He locked eyes with me. “Nice is an illusion trained into us from the time that we are very young. It’s a place to hide. If we’re honest, we’re not always nice, and I would always rather be honest than nice. So are you a nice girl or an honest person?”
The way his question cut straight through my insecurities surprised me. For a moment I wondered if he might be a monk in disguise.
“I would like to be an honest person.”
“Then you are. But if you’re going to be honest with the rest of the world, you must first be honest with yourself. Now, are you a plain girl? Are you a maid-servant?”“
“No.”
“Are you a queen or a princess? Are you a powerful woman?” He looked into my eyes again.
My heart fluttered. I knew the answer, but I was hesitant to say it.
“Are you a warrior, Samantha? Or are you a peasant?”
“I am a warrior.” My voice wavered some.
“Yes, of course you are. Now it’s time to announce it to the world. You are packed with personal power. What you have to realize is that, just because you are confident, that doesn’t mean you are taking anything away from anyone else. I have met plenty of warriors in a maid-servant’s gown or the tattered garments of a peasant girl.”
I touched the fabrics and smelled the scent of leftover perfume upon them. I noticed light smudges at the collars from the make-up that the actors wore. When I came across a crushed velvet costume that was larger than all the rest, I pulled it off the rack.
“Ah yes. Now that is a costume fit for you, Samantha. Are you ready to try it on?”
“Are you sure it’s okay?” I glanced over at him.
“I’m sure it is. There’s a dressing room right through there. Go ahead and change, then we’ll work on your make-up.”
Chapter 21
I carried the costume into the dressing room, which was no easy feat.
As I changed I wondered just what it was that I was doing. How did I even belong in the dressing room? It was silly of me to think that I could pull off a costume that talented actors wore on a nightly basis. Yet, I still put it on.
Once I was dressed, I turned to look in the mirror, only to find that there wasn’t one. I peeked my head out the door and found a woman waiting for me.
“Are you ready for make-up?”
“I think so.” I smiled.
“Good, right this way.” She led me down another hall to another room and once inside she sat me down beside a table that had two large toolboxes on it. She popped them open and began to apply make-up to my face.
It had been a long time since someone had put make-up on me. I wasn’t sure how to sit or where to look. Having her so close was rather intimate, which made me even more anxious.
As she smeared make-up on me, there was no mirror for me to see what she was creating. As time ticked by I wondered just how different I would look. It was difficult for me not to have the control of looking at my own reflection and deciding how much make-up to put on—what shade to wear and where to place it.
“Okay, we’re all done here. I’ll leave you to take a look and see what you think.” She opened a closet door and revealed a tall mirror, then she stepped outside.
I was surprised that she would just leave me without gauging my reaction. For all the work she’d put in, I expected that she would want to know that I liked what she created. Maybe she was just so confident in her work that she didn’t think she needed to find out.
I stood up and took a deep breath. I expected, at best, to look like a clown, and at worst, to look like a zombie. When I looked in the mirror I was startled. I took a step back and looked again. Could that really be me reflected there?
With the shoulders of my costume peaking high and wide and the girth of my waist expanded to a grandiose state, I had a fierce presence that I’d never experienced before. I’d always considered myself large, but this was far more than that.
In my own eyes, I looked powerful.
And my eyes were the only thing that I recognized in my reflection. My skin tone was completely ivory and my mouth had been transformed into full ruby red lips. My eyes were outlined with blues and golds that reminded me of an ancient undiscovered bird.
Now I understood my new friend’s compliment when I’d chosen the costume. Yes, I needed to see my strength reflected before me, not in an abstract way, but in a true-to-life way
that I could reach out and touch. I thought the costumes were masks to hide behind, but I realized that in choosing my costume, I had turned myself inside out—and the make-up artist had intuitively emphasized that in the details of my look.
“So, what do you think?” The actor’s voice drifted from the doorway of the make-up room. “Is it you?”
“I think so. It’s a part of me that I haven’t seen in a long time—maybe not ever, in fact.”
“It’s good to see it now, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“What is it?” He stepped a little closer to me. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
“I’ve always thought of myself as strong, at least a bit anyway. But also at times, I’ve felt so insecure and uncertain. What I see in the mirror right now is someone who will always fight for her truth, who is strong enough to achieve anything she sets her mind to. Even though I’ve struggled for so long to be that person, now I see that I’ve been that person all along. I just have to give myself permission to allow other people to see it.”
“I’m glad that you feel that way, because it’s just about time for the night crowd to spill into the streets and we’re going to walk around a bit to draw attention to our show. Are you ready to debut your new look?”
I froze at the thought. What would Max think if he saw me in this costume? Or Yuki? Or her mother? What if people snapped pictures and somehow figured out it was me?
All at once I realized that I didn’t care if they did. I didn’t want to hide anymore.
As we walked out of the theater and into the streets I was surprised by the crowds. This was more than just a few people showing up to explore. It was too late to turn back, and as soon as I remembered that I was in such a grand costume, I didn’t want to turn back.
We walked through the streets doing little skits that I mostly observed. A few people asked for pictures, not because I’d written a book, but because I looked like an otherworldly being. I enjoyed the anonymity of the costume and the freedom to do whatever I pleased, to act however I pleased without fear of consequence.
Then I spotted Max. He was leaning against a building, watching the people as they walked back and forth.
I broke from the group and walked toward him.
When he saw that I was heading in his direction, he straightened and arranged a neutral expression on his face. This was interesting for me to see, as I’d never noticed how Max reacted to strangers approaching him. He seemed to have a mask that he put on too.
Chapter 22
I realized I had a real advantage for the moment and adjusted my voice in a way that I hoped he wouldn’t recognize.
“Hello there, handsome young man.”
“Hi.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and studied me. “Is Samantha with you?”
“We’re all just walking around the town. See?” I gestured to the other actors that were spread out within the crowd of tourists.
“I see.” He craned his neck. “Where is she?”
I wasn’t sure if he was just playing along or if he really didn’t recognize me. “She’ll be along. How has your visit to Japan been?”
“Great.”
“Man of few words, I see.”
“You could say that.” He tilted his head to the side. “Were you in the show?”
“Not this one.”
“I really enjoyed it.
“I’m glad. But tell me, what do you see for your future?”
“I’m sorry?”
“I’m just curious. What do you see for your future?”
“Just experiencing every day with my wife—starting a family with her and experiencing all the different phases of life together.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet.” I leaned close to kiss his cheek, but he jerked back away from me and jumped up from the bench.
“Excuse me, I don’t know what you’re doing but there’s only one woman that kisses me.”
“Aw, that’s even sweeter!” I tried to wrap my arms around him but he pulled away from me again.
“Cut it out. You can’t just force yourself on people.”
“Stop, you don’t understand.” I tried hard to keep from laughing.
“I understand just fine. I’m not that kind of guy. Now if you don’t mind, I have to go find my wife.” He turned and started to jog away into the crowd.
“Max! Wait! It’s me!” The noise and music of our surroundings muffled my voice as I chased after him.
He looked over his shoulder. When he spotted me chasing him his eyes widened and he ran faster. I could only imagine what the sight of me in my huge costume chasing him down the street looked like. The faster I ran, the further he tried to get from me. It wasn’t exactly easy to run fast in the boots I wore.
“Max! Please wait! You don’t understand!”
Max stopped for a moment and looked between two streets in an attempt to figure out which one to take.
I managed to catch up with him.
When he saw me, he jumped back and tripped over the curb.
I reached for him to keep him from falling, but I was off balance in the large costume. He hit the sidewalk first, then I landed right on top of him.
“Get off me! Stop this right now!” He struggled beneath me until I looked into his eyes.
“Max, it’s me. Can’t you tell?”
He stared at me for a moment, then a grin spread across his lips. “Sammy?”
“Yes. It’s me.” I laughed. “I’m sorry that I caused you such confusion. I thought you knew it was me the whole time.”
“Oops. Well, good thing I didn’t let you kiss me, huh?” He laughed as well.
“Are you going to now?” I leaned down to kiss him.
He met my lips happily and did his best to wrap his arms around me.
When I pulled away from him a good amount of my make-up was left on his face. It reminded me of the neutral expression he’d worn when I walked up to him in costume. What mattered to me the most was that I’d never seen that expression, which meant he never felt the need to hide from me.
I couldn’t resist kissing him once more.
When we were both back on our feet we walked back to the theater so that I could change out of the costume. As fun as it had been to wear it, I was glad to be back to regular old me. Max saw me for who I was, and that was what mattered the most.
We shared an early dinner, then headed back to the hotel for some rest.
“I kind of wish that you could have brought the costume home with you.”
“You do? I thought you seemed rather scared by it. I mean, you did run away awfully fast.” I laughed lightly.
“Are you making fun of me?” He straightened his shoulders and looked into my eyes.
“Not at all. I’m just pointing out that you ran faster than I’ve seen in quite some time.”
“Sammy.” He paused in front of me and raised an eyebrow. “What’s your point?”
“Just that you were scared of a big scary costume?” I tried to hide my smile.
“Scared, hm?” He grabbed me around the waist and swept me in the direction of the bed. “Do I look scared now?”
“No.” I laughed. “But you sure did then.”
“I’m not scared.” He kissed the side of my neck. “Not even a little bit.” He kissed the curve of my shoulder.
I shivered with pleasure. “So you really didn’t know it was me?”
“No.” He kissed right back up along my neck.
“So you thought some strange woman was trying to kiss you?”
“Mm-hm.” He nuzzled my ear.
“Then you were a very good husband.”
“Yes, I know.” He pulled me closer. “Because I have a very good wife.”
“You think so? You said some very sweet things when I asked about what you thought about the future.”
“If I’d known it was you, I might have told you that I would end up back in my hotel room with my wife—and then told you that I planned to seduce her.”
“Is that so?” My cheeks grew hot. Whether it was from the way Max was kissing me or the fact that he’d admitted to a stranger that he couldn’t wait to spend our future together, I was flooded with desire for him.
“It is. I’m not scared—not even a little bit.” He swung me toward the bed in a gentle but swift motion.
When I landed against the mattress, he crawled into bed beside me. “And I really, really liked that costume. But I like the real you so much better.” He kissed the tip of my nose, then my lips.
After that, I didn’t have any clear thoughts.
Chapter 23
The next morning I woke up in a daze of love, but also exhaustion. Maybe I hadn’t slept as much as I thought. I’d had strange dreams about Max running from me and falling into a pit of noodles. Just as I snuggled into my pillow to go back to sleep, Max landed a playful slap on my bottom.
“Wake up, sleepyhead.”
“Do I have to?”
“Sure, the day’s a-wasting. Let’s hit Arashiyama today. It’ll get us outside and exercising a bit. After all that walking around yesterday I’m ready to keep it up. How ’bout you?”
I managed a smile and did my best to ignore how tired I was. If it were up to me, I might just sleep in for an hour or two. But Max was already up, dressed and ready. I didn’t want to slow him down.
I climbed out of bed and headed straight for the shower. After about ten minutes of just letting the hot water hit me, I actually began washing. Once I was done I stepped out and wrapped a towel around me.
Max watched as I leaned over our suitcase to find clothes.
“You can’t do that to me, Sammy.”
“Do what?” I looked over at him.
“You’re so tempting. Now I might just want to stay in bed all day.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“I’m not opposed to that.” I grinned and hoped I might be able to leave my clothes in the suitcase.
“No, as tempting as it is, I want to make sure that we get to see as much as possible during this last part of our journey. You deserve that.”
I thought about how to tell him that I’d much rather curl up in bed with him again, then dismissed the idea. He was right; I didn’t want to waste our time in Kyoto.
Sammy in Japan (Single Wide Female Travels #8) Page 7