by Cara Carnes
There was more to the story. I sensed it within the spirits greeting me, but I didn’t press for more. He would share when he was ready.
Slade didn’t hide the resentment and anger wafting from him. Anger for him, the other Shadows, and the Dark Guardians rolled through me. How dare the Roterans deem them unworthy of…
What they endured was worse than I’d ever experienced. I’d been born a slave. Sure, I was the only daughter to a king, but the slave blood deemed me unworthy of anything. I’d been raised to accept my plight—the fact I’d never enjoy true freedom, not as long as the Crunans possessed the Summoner’s Well and the power within.
But Slade.
He and the others were Roteran. Free. Warriors. They fought, bled and died to keep their people safe. Yet the very same people deemed them too dangerous and violent to remain within the very society they protected.
How dare they.
I fisted my hands and paced. Whenever I got angry, I paced.
Restless rage rolled through me, ignited a fire within my belly. I wanted to avenge the senseless isolation, the stark loneliness and depraved rejection Slade had suffered. They’d all suffered.
Slade cursed and pulled me into his arms. I tightened mine around him and swept my aura outward, demanding he let me in. He complied quickly, as if sensing I needed the contact. I crushed each spirit I came into contact with in a hard, mental hug. Some lurked in the shadows, beyond the boundaries where I couldn’t reach them. They’d wander closer one day.
I hoped they would.
Utter blackness. Slade sealed a huge part of himself off. Something lurked behind the inky void, the deathly stillness. He had let me in, but kept a big part—most of him—separated from me. Why?
What did he protect me from?
I wanted to free him from the burden, the enormous weight I sensed within him and the souls he carried. Whatever lurked behind the black void was affecting them all.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d be with the Shadows, but as long as I was, I wanted to give each of them a sense of belonging, like I myself had always wanted. I understood loneliness. Isolation.
The Shadows were so similar to me, yet different.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Why are you thanking me?” he asked softly.
“Thank you for letting me see them and get a peek into who you really are beneath the lethal quiet.” Sensing he wasn’t ready to hear any more, I motioned toward the galley doors. “Let’s see what we can get cooked up.”
Slade
* * *
“Are you okay?” Zelig asked.
Slade diced the roots he’d gathered from the hydroponics bay and nodded even though he wasn’t sure of the real answer. He glanced over at where Snow sat between Ren and Ashan. Her laughter echoed through the room. Her smile spread a brushfire of need through him. So beautiful. She should laugh more. The emotionless void he’d maintained since joining the Shadows proved impossible to use around her. “She draws my spirits, demanded my own to let her in. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“It’s natural. We’ve suppressed our Roteran nature a long time. Ren is right. She is our mate. I feel the pull myself,” Dacian admitted.
“I distanced some of the spirits from her, kept them back even though they wanted her attention. They’re like rabid animals getting stroked for the first time.” Slade clenched his teeth as images of her stroking him assailed him. Blood surged southward.
It’d been two, maybe three, solar cycles since he’d visited a pleasure station and sought companionship. Too many deemed them monsters. Few had a clue how right they were. Shadows and Dark Guardians kept their Roteran culture of salvaging souls a carefully guarded secret, entrusted to a chosen few. But the more malevolent spirits a Roteran gathered, the more dangerous the aura they projected.
“She’s curious,” he said. “She asked why I wasn’t a Dark Guardian.”
“Did you tell her?” Zelig asked.
“No. I mentioned only a part.” He’d come close to sharing the rest, but her anger on his behalf overwhelmed him.
He wasn’t accustomed to someone protecting him, worrying.
None of them were.
A warmth rose in him.
Snow was a remarkable woman.
“Why are you cooking?” Dacian asked.
“Snow’s Tezan side reacts poorly to replicator rations,” he answered. He dumped the diced roots into the simmering Roteran oil and went to work dicing the vegetables. “The more natural foods we feed her, the better. The Tezans within me have shared what she needs.”
“That’s why she wasn’t eating,” Zelig said. “Anything else they shared about what we should do for her?”
“Training. Her psychic aura needs stronger defenses. She’s too trusting, reaches out quick and without hesitation. That’s dangerous, especially when we enter the Meridian Highway. Space pirates, bounty hunters, adventurers. Every type of vile cretin around will be out there, and we’ll have no laws protecting her.”
“Varik and I will begin working with her tomorrow,” Dacian said. “Though you may have more success with all of your Tezan spirits on board.”
“No. They are warriors, not educators. Besides, you two need time with her. I’ll keep her in my chamber this evening, give my spirits more time with her. We’ll need to keep her with Ren a few hours in between. She’ll always be most drawn to him because of Lazar and her other guardsmen.” Slade shoved the knife into the carving board. “I know I was supposed to have my time toward the last.”
“We can’t plan each moment, not with Snow. She’s strong willed and amazingly brilliant.” Zelig’s voice lowered. “Marden and I will take over her weapons training if you’ll take hand-to-hand. Ren and Ashan can be her respite and cultural development. We’ll set aside time at the end of each night for us to all come together and work on history.”
Slade nodded his approval.
The meal went far better than he expected. The soft moan of delight Snow emitted when she took her first bite almost undid his warrior’s resolve. Based on the heated looks from the men around him, he expected they battled the same desire. The female was a temptation beyond compare, one every soul within him wanted to surrender to. He focused his attention back on the events unfolding around him. Snow was curled up beneath a Roteran heating blanket. She rested her head against Ren’s shoulder, no doubt seeking the comfort of familiarity the three guardsmen souls within him offered.
If Slade were smart, he’d cede his night alone with her to Ren. It was clear she was most drawn to him right now. But the thought of waiting another round for his rotation to come again…he swallowed the disapproval rumbling from within him. There wasn’t a schedule for spending time with her, but he couldn’t imagine any of them intentionally monopolizing her time. If a true union were to work between them, she’d have to be committed to them all equally.
Roteran unions rarely revolved around sexual attraction, not at first. A deeper connection evolved because Roteran personalities tended to be extremely complicated. Warriors like them were complex in a much darker way than most females felt comfortable with, so it would take Snow time for her to connect with any of them in a sexual way.
Slade accepted that. Physical pleasure meant very little to them compared to the soul comfort, the light caresses she offered on the psychic plane.
Zelig caught his attention and nodded when Snow yawned once again.
He rose, took the few steps between them, and offered his hand. “Come, Snow. It’s time you rest.”
She looked at all the others and nodded. Her uncertainty wafted off her in thick waves Slade couldn’t ignore. He recalled fondly sitting next to the fire and watching the nightly ritual his mother performed with his fathers. He ran a hand down Snow’s silky, obsidian hair and smiled. “Why don’t you give each of them a hug goodnight, wish their spirits a restful sleep.”
“Th-That’s okay?”
“Of course it is,” Dacian replied. �
��Come here, Snow.”
She took two steps forward and settled into the warrior’s embrace. Dacian clasped her gently and muttered the words Slade heard in his mind moments ago. “Our souls will meet in our dreams where we may all be one. Rest well knowing you will never be alone again.”
One by one the men he entrusted with his life every day offered her a gentle hug and the same oath. Snow stood before Marden, who maintained his typical stance, arms crossed. Permanent glower on his face. His gaze narrowed when Snow stood before him. “What?”
“I wish you a good night, Marden.” She licked her lips.
Slade tracked the glide of her tongue across her lower lip, a scant peek of her tongue. Enough to get his mind wandering. Heat spread through him, a fiery need he wouldn’t sate anytime soon. Rushing intimacy was out of the question. He wanted to lunge at the Shadow and shake sense into him, demand he offer her the oath.
But the Lover’s Oath didn’t work like that. A Roteran male freely offered it when his soul and the spirits within him all agreed the female was their heart mate.
“Leave, female. We will see each other when a new cycle begins.” Less growl resonated within Marden’s words as he looked down at Snow with a narrowed gaze.
She sighed heavily and wrapped her arms around him, leaned her weight against him despite his crossed arms. “Our souls will meet in our dreams where we may all be one. Rest well knowing you will never be alone again.”
Shock rippled through him, a concussive force he felt along the telepathic connection he shared with his squadron. Ashan and Ren moved to intercept if Marden raged out at the female for whispering words she didn’t fully understand. Zelig held both protective warriors back with a raised hand.
Snow glanced up at Marden and smiled. “Rest well, warrior.”
“You too, female.”
She turned and moved into Slade’s arms. He whispered the words with ease. She squeezed him tighter when he did. Tradition dictated the warrior who respited with the woman didn’t utter the words, but she didn’t understand the significance beneath the words. She flashed a smile so warm and sincere as her eyes twinkled up at him the heat fanned through him.
“Let us respite,” he whispered.
“Let us respite,” she repeated.
7
Snow
I wasn’t sure what the words truly meant to the Shadows, but I sensed a shift in their auras. A warm, protective…devotion. Anticipation vied for attention alongside nervousness as I walked with Slade. His hand remained draped along my lower back.
“Your stomach handled the meal well?” he asked.
“Are you kidding?” I looked up and smiled. “That was the best meal I’ve had in many solar cycles. All the flavors were so…”
“Flavorful?” He flashed an amused grin.
“Have you always been such a good cook?”
“My mother taught me, said the best way she could show her love for the men within her union was by seeing to their appetites. Keep them loved, safe, and fed. That was her rule.”
“So you cook for your fellow Shadows, your new family,” I whispered the assumption as a heated awareness arced between us.
He drew to a stop toward the end of a corridor I hadn’t wandered before. “Tonight was more about my caring for you, giving you what you needed. But, yes. They are my new family.”
The entry swooshed open. My earlier suspicions were confirmed when my gaze swept the area. The chamber smelled like Slade. Small figurines adorned the area. I picked one up and chuckled. A little warrior with a sword.
“One of my fathers started the tradition. Whenever we’d go to a new planet he would take me to the market and we’d pick out a figurine, a memento of our time there.”
My heart swelled. I gently set the little warrior down and scanned the room. Slade’s heated presence at my back warmed me for an entirely different reason, but my mind was too busy counting and processing all the small treasures within the room. “You’ve been to many places.”
“I have,” he said. “We should have discussed this with you, but we feel it’s best if you respite with one of us each night.”
“Why?” My pulse pounded wildly. My jumbled thoughts all started and ended with the massive sleep surface dominating the other room. My gaze froze on it. “I-I haven’t ever…”
Slade placed a finger on my lips. “Tonight isn’t about that. None of the nights will be until you are ready, and if you wish them to be. Our spirits merely wish to get to know you like Ren’s did. Protecting you will be far simpler for us if we can establish a bond between all of us, but I’ll be honest. This is about more than protecting you for our mission to Tezan.”
“It is?” Nervousness soared within my belly.
“We accepted long ago we’d never mate, form a union. Few Shadows or Dark Guardians ever do. Our lifestyle is too unstable. The spirits we contain are too violent, dark for Roteran females to accept.” Pain and loneliness loomed within his typically blank aura.
I reached out, placed my palm on his chest. “The females are fools. I cannot imagine more worthy men.”
The declaration incited the souls beneath my splayed hand. I looked down, wished the material wasn’t between me and them. He’d disappeared before the evening meal long enough to don more clothes. “I cannot explain why, but I’m drawn to all of you. I know I sound crazy. Perhaps the compulsion is because you rescued me when you could have easily killed me instead. I just know I want to know each of you. I cannot imagine anything better than…”
I had lost my mind. I swallowed the rest of the words. There was no way even one of the brave, amazing Shadow warriors would be interested in a slave. What I was feeling, the rampant ache and overwhelming desire, was natural. They were extremely virile and attractive men, the first I’d been around in a long, long time. Sure, I had Lazar, Evon, and Vellis, but they’d been honor-bound to protect me. Slade and the others chose to get me safely away from Queen Vilma and my father.
What I was feeling was far more complicated and deep than mere attraction and gratitude, though. As excited as I was for the chance to spend time with Slade and his spirits, I already missed Ren and his. Was the psychic pull normal? Was I?
“Relax, Snow. You’re overthinking everything.” Slade guided us toward the sleeping chamber and motioned to the smaller area to the left. “Go ahead and get ready to sleep. I’ll find something more comfortable for you to wear.”
I nodded and headed into the cleansing room. The door sealed shut behind me, a novelty I hadn’t had aboard The Paradox. I stripped and stepped beneath the sonic cleansing heads, which all clicked on immediately. Another novelty. Heat scrubbed my skin and hair. It’d been ages since I’d had a real cleansing, the kind which removed the surface level skin cells. The one I had when I first arrived had been the first in over ten solar cycles. Although I wanted to spend all night beneath the pulsating warmth, I exited. A soft knock drew my attention to the door.
I hid behind a thin covering I found hanging on a hook near the cleansing area. “Enter.”
Slade kept his gaze locked with mine. “If this doesn’t work, I’ll find something else.”
“Thank you.” I took the soft material and watched him turn and leave without comment. The door sealed shut once more.
I released the covering and slid the tunic on. One of his. His scent permeated the material. I buried my nose in it and inhaled deeply. I made quick work with the rest of what I had to do and returned to the sleeping chamber. Slade stood nearby, bare chested. He approached and stroked my upper arm.
“Your skin is so soft,” he whispered.
“I’d forgotten how luxurious a sonic shower was. It’s been so long since I had one.”
“You should have taken longer, enjoyed the experience.”
“Next time.” I looked at the sleeping surface. “Does it matter which side I take?”
“I want to be between you and the entry.”
Awareness tingled across my skin where he
touched. The protectiveness within his aura spread around me. I nodded. “Of course.”
“I’ll be back in a few moments,” he said.
I sat on the edge of the sleep surface, unsure whether I should wait or go ahead and crawl beneath the covers. It’d been simpler with Ren. He’d been ill, unconscious. I’d awoken in the middle of the night and done what seemed natural, right. This was different. An intentional decision.
I was sharing a sleeping surface with a man. A Shadow warrior. A very virile one so handsome that one glance at all the glorious skin and intricate etchings made my entire body tremble.
But he’d assured me this wasn’t an intimate encounter. A part of me was relieved while another equally vocal part was quite annoyed. Was I not attractive enough? I sensed the arousal within his aura now that he’d loosened his firm control. The fact he trusted me enough to do so eased any concerns I may have had.
He stood in front of me, leaving my gaze on his lower abdominals where the loose band of thin material covering from his waist to his upper thighs rested. He stroked my hair, massaged my scalp. I closed my eyes and relished the contact.
“Yora used to do this. I always loved when she would,” I whispered.
“Relax, let me tend you,” he replied.
I relaxed into his touch, sloughed off all the worries and what-ifs twisting my thoughts into a chaotic mess. The longer he massaged, the firmer his strokes became. He moved onto the bed, behind me. He massaged down my neck, across my shoulders. Along my back.
“Lie back, on your side,” he ordered.
Awareness tingled along my spine, through my body as I complied. Hot breath fanned along my neck. He’d reclined as well. I swallowed.