The barista set his steaming cup of coffee down on the counter. Hopefully he wouldn’t be paying for this later on, wide awake at 3:00 a.m., but he could barely prop his eyelids open now. He still had to pack for his week in Norfolk and get some stuff done at his apartment. It was no surprise that there were few people here tonight, though. The bad weather had likely kept everyone at home with their families, enjoying a quiet Sunday dinner. Everyone except…Becky, he thought, the vanilla scent of her announcing her arrival as the door to the coffee shop opened and a patron walked in. He didn’t have to turn around to confirm that it was her, because every single hair on the back of his neck stood up. His dick very nearly pointed to attention as well, and he ground his teeth, knowing the chances were slim-to-none that she’d turn around and leave. She still hadn’t returned his call from this morning, but maybe she’d been waiting until tonight. Wasn’t she staying with her parents? That didn’t likely leave her with much privacy to make a phone call.
“Matt?” she asked, walking up to the counter.
“Hey Becky,” he said, glancing down at her curiously. Was she blushing? Maybe her cheeks were just flushed from the cold. It was almost too much to hope that she’d someday want him the way he’d always wanted her. For now he’d have to manage with just being her friend—and, quite possibly, more cold showers than anyone had ever taken.
“I didn’t expect to see you here. What are the chances of running into each other twice in one weekend?”
“It’s a small town,” Matt said with a shrug. The cashier totaled his order, and Matt grabbed his wallet from his back pocket. “Can I buy you a drink?” he asked, glad to have something to distract him from watching the way her mouth moved. The flush on her cheeks, the rosiness of her lips, the way her soft brown eyes were looking up at him—it was almost too tempting. Spending too much time with her would be dangerous. Which was exactly why he’d avoided her at all costs in the past.
“I’ll have a grande skim latte,” Becky said to the barista. She placed her hand on Matt’s arm, sending heat coursing through him as he gazed down at her. “But let me buy them. You got a round of drinks on Friday.”
“No problem, I got it,” he said, his voice deep.
“Skim?” the barista asked, getting to work at the espresso machine. Becky removed her hand from Matt’s arm, and he instantly missed the heat and warmth of her touch.
“Yes, thanks!” Becky called out to the barista. “So, uh, thanks for the coffee,” she said, looking back up at Matt.
“My pleasure. What are you doing out in this mess anyway?” he asked, gesturing toward the window.
“I’m on my way to Melissa’s. I spent the weekend at my parents’, but the rest of the time I’ll be staying with her.”
Becky took her drink from the counter, and after Matt paid the cashier, they stood facing one another uncertainly. “I called you this morning,” he said, his voice low. Not that the cashier and barista really cared about their conversation, but he didn’t exactly want the entire world to hear his business.
“Right, I got your message. Sorry I didn’t call you back yet. Things were a little crazy today.”
“No problem,” he said, clearing his throat. “Do you want to get a table? I was planning to grab some carryout and head home, but as long as we’re both here….”
“Oh, uh, sure,” Becky said, sounding surprised. “We seem to have our pick,” she joked as the elderly couple gathered their things to leave.
“Hopefully we didn’t scare them off.”
“You can be rather intimidating,” Becky said lightly as Matt eyed her curiously. What did she mean by that? Surely she wasn’t ever intimidated by him?
Becky walked over to a table by the window, and Matt pulled out the chair for her. “Thanks,” she said softly as he sat down across from her. She took off her coat, revealing a pretty lavender sweater. It was casual but hugged her breasts perfectly, and he found it hard to tear his eyes away from her as she sipped her latte. He took a sip of his own coffee, the hot liquid seeping down his throat. It didn’t warm him nearly as much as the sight of her did. Why his heart raced every time she was in the room was a damn mystery, but hell if he didn’t feel more alive than he had all year with her.
He shouldn’t have suggested they have coffee together right now, though. He needed to talk to her about Brody, but he’d barely wrapped his head around what he should say. Now here he was, on the spot, and he needed to just spit it out before he lost his nerve. Before he lost her.
She met his gaze, looking at him expectantly.
“I told Brody I’d look out for you,” he blurted out.
“What?”
“I told Brody—”
“No, I heard what you said,” she said, shaking her head. “I mean, why would you do that?”
“He was my best friend.”
“I know, it’s just—we weren’t friends, Matt. You and me. I haven’t even seen you since the funeral.”
“I know,” he said, guilt rising within him. “Brody and I—we talked a week before the ambush. It was just one of those things—we never talked about dying, about what would happen if we were gone, until one day we did. And he made me swear I’d look out for you if anything ever happened to him.”
Becky nodded slowly, licking her lips. “Look, don’t beat yourself up, Matt. You lost your best friend. You were injured. Of course you didn’t have time to worry about me, too.”
Matt looked at her in surprise. If anything, he’d expected her to be angry with him. To be mad that Brody was the one killed and to be upset that Matt hadn’t done the one thing he’d promised Brody—watch out for her. It was almost like she understood what he’d gone through—which was impossible. It would be a helluva lot easier if she hated him. If she’d yell and scream, then he could stay away, telling himself he tried to be there for her. But when she looked at him with such…understanding in her eyes, he almost couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing her again. She almost made it seem like he could live with the guilt of losing his friend, because she’d lost him, too. If she could forgive Matt, then shouldn’t he be able to forgive himself?
“Matt,” Becky said, and he looked back at her, realizing he’d been lost in thought. “Did Brody say anything when he…was killed? Before, I mean?”
Matt shook his head slowly. “He was killed instantly, Becky.”
She nodded and swallowed, blinking away tears. “I just wish I could’ve known what he was thinking, his final words.”
“None of us saw it coming,” Matt said in a low voice. “Not a single one of us.”
“Me either,” Becky said sadly. “He was supposed to come home a few months later, so I never even thought that he wouldn’t. He was supposed to be done.”
“It fucking sucks—sorry,” Matt added hastily. “Listen, if you want to still do something on Friday when I get back, I’m game. Maybe we can grab dinner or a drink? Talk a little more then?”
“Right, you’re going out of town. Um, can I call you this week?”
“Sure,” Matt said, feeling slightly uncertain. Was that a yes or a no? Did women always have to be so complicated?
“I should get going,” Becky said, finishing her latte. “You have your trip to get ready for, and Melissa’s cooking dinner tonight—heaven knows she’s a terrible cook, so we’ll probably end up ordering pizza.”
Matt laughed as Becky continued. “But I don’t want to get there late.”
“Let me walk you to your car,” he said easily. Man, if he didn’t feel a million times lighter after having talked to her tonight. He didn’t realize the weight of everything he’d been carrying around for the past year. It actually felt good to have someone to talk to. It didn’t change the past—nothing would—but it almost felt like she’d taken some of the burden off of him.
Becky rose and put on her jacket, and Matt held the door for them as they left the coffee shop. The sleet had changed over to freezing rain, and little pellets of ice bounced off
the sidewalk and street. “Damn, my windshield is frozen solid,” Becky said, looking in dismay at her car, which was completely covered in ice.
“Do you have an ice scraper?”
“I don’t know—it’s a rental. Probably not, but maybe I can check in the trunk.”
“Oh, right. I’ll grab mine and scrape off the windshield for you.”
“Matt, you don’t have to do that,” Becky protested.
“It’s no problem,” he said, holding his hand up to shield her face from the freezing rain as she looked up at him. “Go turn on the defroster and get your car warmed up. I’ll be right back.” He walked down the block to his own car, grabbed the ice scraper, and was back at Becky’s car in no time. Now he was even more glad he’d run into her because she would’ve been sitting here a while waiting for the ice to melt. He set to work cleaning her windshield and felt more productive than he had all day. Helping her out made him feel good, he realized, even if this was just a small favor. He cared about her and hoped like hell that she wanted to see him again next weekend.
Chapter 8
Matt drove down Interstate-64 on Monday morning, heading toward Virginia Beach and Norfolk. He was slated to give a series of briefings to some Navy personnel stationed at Norfolk, and Matt knew he’d be putting in long hours over the next couple of days. He wished he’d been making this trip to the coast during the warmer months. Taking a detour to the beach wouldn’t have been something he’d be able to turn down. He could’ve spent the weekend enjoying the surf and sand and been good as new for the briefings slated to start at 1000 Monday morning. The water would be too cold for anything in January though. Even if he had a wetsuit, the Atlantic Ocean was much too frigid this far north in the middle of winter.
He’d gotten up before dawn this morning, tossing his duffle bag into the back of his Charger. A couple of hours on the road, and he’d arrive in Norfolk in plenty of time for meeting with the brass on base and briefing the men there. And hell, making small trips like this in the comfort of his car to Norfolk or up to the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, was sure as hell better than driving through the desert in a Humvee to forward operating bases in Afghanistan. His fists tightened on the steering wheel as he again recalled his last ride in the convoy he’d been traveling in. The exact moment when they realized they were caught in the middle of an ambush. Fuck. Would he ever get those memories off the forefront of his mind?
Furthermore, the idea of waiting around for Becky to call him left an uneasiness in his gut. He liked being in control at all times, and he felt on edge waiting to hear her voice over the phone. Would she want to see him again? He didn’t know why he’d originally suggested Friday night. That sure as hell sounded more like a date than two people casually getting together. But memories of seeing her last Friday flashed through his mind—those sexy-as-hell tight jeans she had on, the little top that hugged her full breasts beneath the cardigan she wore. The sweater had done little to conceal her killer curves, and he knew she’d drawn the attention of more than a few men in the crowd. Was he just trying to keep her from going out with her friend again next weekend? What right did he have to keep her from dating other men?
He flipped through the radio stations, finally finding a classic rock one and leaving it on that. It began to rain, and he turned on his windshield wipers, the soggy weather matching his mood. He’d barely been living at all during the past year, the monotonous days and nights blending together as one week led into another. He’d been recovering from his injuries briefly at Walter Reed but knew he should’ve considered himself one of the luckiest guys in the world by walking away with only a few scars. Hell, Bryan was still learning how to walk, read, and write again. Eric was learning to live with one leg. He had no right to feel sorry for himself.
Once Matt had returned to active duty, only work and his daily runs had kept him sane. He could pound out his anger while he ran, the frustration he felt dissipating. The longer he ran, the harder he pushed himself, the easier sleep came every night. The dull ache he’d felt ever since losing his best friend had finally subsided to a more bearable memory. I mean, hell, he’d finally gone out with the guys on base for the first time on Friday night, determined to gain control of his life once again. And who had he run into? The woman that had invaded his thoughts while he lay on the road in the desert, watching his buddy die. Her smiling face had flashed through his mind. Then he’d felt guilty as sin for imagining her while he lay there injured. She was Brody’s to love and cherish, not his. Never his.
But damn, if he hadn’t felt alive for the first time all year when he’d seen Becky this weekend. Walking her to her car Friday night and talking to her over coffee yesterday had him dreaming of things he had no business wanting. Not with her. And now he was nervous as a teenager wondering when she’d call. If she’d call. Fuck that. If he didn’t hear from her in a day or two, he’d call her back. Her calming presence had made him feel better than he’d been in ages. The temptation of her body had urges stirring in him that had been dormant since he’d been injured. Even if nothing could happen between them, he couldn’t run away from her like he had in the past. He had to see her, even if only for his own peace of mind.
Chapter 9
“Coffee’s on,” Melissa called out to Becky as she wandered into her sister’s kitchen on Monday morning. The aroma of the dark French roast permeated the spacious room, and Becky pulled out a chair at the table and gratefully sank into a seat while the coffee brewed.
“It smells heavenly,” she said with a sigh.
“What’s got you in such a wistful mood this morning?” Melissa asked.
“Just a lot on my mind,” Becky replied, watching as Melissa moved around the room, gathering things for breakfast.
“Such as?” Melissa prodded, grabbing a bagel and spreading it with cream cheese.
“I’m just trying to figure out what to do about a few things,” Becky said nonchalantly. “Mom and Dad seemed upset when I left last night to come stay with you. Mom practically chased me out the front door to drag me back.”
“I thought they knew you were staying here?”
“They did; Mom’s just worried about me I guess,” Becky said, rising from the table to pour herself a cup of the steaming black coffee.
Melissa laughed. “Of course they’re worried; you’re their baby.”
“Mom and Dad I can deal with,” Becky replied, taking a long sip of hot coffee. It practically scalded her throat, but there was nothing better than a fresh cup of coffee first thing in the morning. She also instantly felt more awake, which was funny because there was no way that the caffeine worked its magic that quickly. “I’m also trying to figure out what to do about Matt,” she admitted, turning toward her sister.
“Now that sounds more interesting than Mom and Dad. What’s there to figure out?”
Becky sighed. “He wants to see me on Friday.”
“Like on a date? I thought you talked to him yesterday.”
“I did, and it was fine. It was nice. I mean, we were never really friends before, but we actually sat and talked for a while.”
“So you’re just friends.”
“I don’t think it’s a date.” Becky set her mug down on the counter and went to work preparing her own bagel for breakfast. “But I actually liked talking to him.”
“It’s okay for you to like him, you know. You deserve to be happy,” Melissa said gently. “And I tried to pry some details about him from Amy. She said he’s pretty hot, so I guess you could do worse than Matt.”
Becky laughed. “I just feel like I was in hiding all year, you know? I’m finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I survived, and maybe I can move forward with my life.”
“You can,” Melissa agreed. “And you should.”
The girls carried their plates to the table and settled in. Becky took a bite of her bagel, chewing it thoughtfully. “I can’t meet him Friday actually; Jade’s party is that night.”
“I
thought you said she was skiing all week?”
“They’re leaving today but are coming back Friday. She’s all excited about the party, too. I’ll just tell Matt we’ll meet up some other time. Problem solved.”
“Bring him to Jade’s party,” Melissa said.
“Why on earth would I do that?”
“Because they’ll be tons of other people around—no awkward moments as you try to figure out what’s going on between you two. And you get to spend a little time together.”
“Nothing’s ‘going on,’” Becky protested.
“Uh-huh.”
Becky took another sip of coffee, avoiding meeting her sister’s eyes. “I guess that could work.”
“Ask him,” Melissa said firmly.
“You’re really bossy, you know?” Becky grumbled.
“That’s why you love me.”
***
After breakfast was over and Melissa had gone into work, Becky cleaned up the kitchen. Once she’d gotten the dishes in the dishwasher and everything else back where it belonged, she called Jade.
“Becky! What’s up, hun? We’re just getting ready to head out.”
Becky could imagine Jade standing there in the hallway of her parents’ house, piles of suitcases and skiing equipment lined up for a week-long ski trip.
“Right, I just wanted to catch you before you go. Will a lot of people be at the party on Friday?”
“What?” Jade asked absently. She covered the phone and shouted out directions to someone in the background. “Sorry. Yeah, it’ll be a pretty big group. Why? Are you backing out on me?”
“No, I, uh, just wondered if I could bring Matt along.”
“Matt? Absolutely! The man was freaking gorgeous.”
Becky laughed. “It’s nothing like that. I need to check with him about it first anyway, but I’ll let you know.”
Her Forbidden Marine (Hearts Ablaze: Men in Uniform Book 2) Page 5