by Lola Swain
Brandt turned and leaned the back of his head against the door. His breath came out in huffs and puffs as he slid down the door and landed on the floor. He sat and stared out the bay window in the living room and watched the sun setting.
It figured Brandt would spin my murder into his sexual prowess and glean a vacation opportunity out of the whole ordeal.
Nellie enjoyed herself too. After she spent a few more moments trying to ruin my clothes, she turned and stared at my body and walked toward me.
“Sophia,” she said and sat next to me. “Hey Sophia, how did you enjoy your first, and last, fuck?”
“Very much, thank you,” I screamed down from the rafters. “Though I will definitely say it was not exactly to die for, you insane fucking cunt!”
“Answer me, Sophia!” Nellie said as she leaned toward my face. “Fucking answer me you snobby bitch!”
Nellie sat up on her knees and picked up the candlestick. She lifted it up high and slammed it down on my stomach. The sound of the sickening thuds filled the room.
“You fucking bitch,” Nellie said as she hit my body, “fucking answer me!”
Sweat dripped from her face and she breathed heavily.
“I’m fucking him now, Sophia!” Nellie said. “Just like I’ve fucked him since we were kids! He came home to me, did you know that? Oh yes, every time he was with you, he came home to me!”
Nellie flung the candlestick across the room and it landed on my clothes she dumped on the floor.
She reached down and grabbed my face and leaned over me as if she wanted to tell me a secret.
“If I had a bucket of acid, I’d pour it over your face. Nothing would make me happier than to disfigure you. You thought you were too good for me, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” I said.
“You went after Brandt even though you knew I was in love with him because you didn’t think I deserved him over you, right?”
“Right,” I said.
“You thought because you were some beautiful model and because you thought I was a fat, ugly nobody, I was no threat to you, isn’t that right?” Nellie said through clenched teeth.
“No,” I said, “I did think you were a threat.”
“I want to tell you something, Brandt loves me and always will and you are nothing! You’re dead and I’m leaving with your fucking husband! Who won, bitch?” Nellie said and spit in my face.
“You won, Nellie,” I said, remembering my conversation with James. “You won the prize.”
“I won!” Nellie said. “I won!”
“Would you shut the fuck up?” Brandt said as he barreled through the bedroom door. “May I remind you, that the fucking manager of the hotel was just here asking about the noise? Now, get away from her.”
“I’m sorry, baby,” Nellie said and climbed off the bed. “She just makes me so angry.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. She’s no threat to you. Now, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to work around this little detour you took us on,” Brandt said as he took off his robe and started to dress. “I’m Sophia’s husband. I’m her next of kin so everything passes to me. I told the manager I have to go to Boston tonight. I’ll make my presence known once I get back, see friends, go to all the haunts. I’ll talk up the wedding…happiest day of my life, blah, blah, blah.”
“Brilliant, baby!” Nellie squealed and hugged him.
If Brandt was an actual attorney rather than an imposter attorney, he would have a stellar career.
“We’ll rough this place up before we leave separately. They’ll find Sophia and I’ve already established my alibi with the manager and presence in Boston.”
“What about her parents?” Nellie said as she threw my clothes back into my suitcase.
“They’re going to be tough,” he said and whistled.
“I’ll say!” I said. “They will bury you two twits!”
“They’ve only met me once and I think I made an impression, but I’m sure they’re tightwads. That bitch roommate of hers is going to be hard to get rid of.
“Poor Katt,” I said. “She was one thousand percent right.”
“We’ll figure it out baby, we always do. What about this?” Nellie said and held the candlestick up.
“Bring it with you,” Brandt said. “We’ll either throw it in the Harbor or keep it.”
“Yes!” Nellie said and wrapped her arms around Brandt’s waist. “We can put it on the mantle of our new penthouse apartment. Then, when we light a fire, we can always give thanks to Sophia Pearson for making this all possible,” Nellie said and giggled.
They ran around the room gathering up evidence to take with them and wiping down evidence that may incriminate them.
They trashed the entire suite, knocking over furniture and tossing drawers across the room. Nellie dumped the beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed roses, a gift from the hotel for our honeymoon, on the floor and she stomped the petals into the floor and stained the white carpet. They damaged the lock on the door so it wasn’t outwardly visible and tore every painting off the wall and slashed it to bits.
Brandt chucked the contents of my purse on the bed, he stole my keys, every last cent of cash and all my credit cards out of my wallet.
“They’ve done this before,” I said as I watched how efficiently they worked together. “A team.”
And then they did the worst thing.
Right before they left the suite, they came back into the bedroom and stood next to my body. Brandt stared down at me and shook his head.
“I didn’t want this to happen,” he said.
“I know you didn’t, baby,” Nellie said and rubbed his back.
“I’m a good person,” he said.
“Of course you are, baby,” Nellie said. “You have a good heart.”
“No,” he said and gripped her hands, “I really do. I’m a good person right, Nellie?”
“You are the best, baby!”
“Yes,” Brandt said and sighed, “Yes, I am. But this, Nellie…I don’t know if I can do this.”
“I know, baby, but we have to. We have to cover our tracks, have to make it look good. It’s all about our survival, right?”
“Yes, our survival. Go get a wash cloth from the bathroom,” Brandt said. “No, get two.”
Nellie scurried to the bathroom and came back holding two white wash cloths and handed them to Brandt. He balled one up tight and jammed it inside my mouth.
“How’s that look?” Brandt said and stood away from me.
He cocked his head to the side as he stared at me as if he was studying a Picasso.
“Perfect!” Nellie said. “Just like a gag.”
“Now,” Brandt said and turned to Nellie, “spread the legs.”
“Me? Why do I have to do it?” Nellie said.
“Because you fucking killed her! Now, spread the legs!”
“Fine. Get me a bath towel,” Nellie said as she got on the bed beside my body.
She leaned over in my face and smiled.
“You deserve this, bitch,” she said while Brandt was in the bathroom. “I only wish you were alive to feel it.”
Brandt threw the towel at Nellie and she used it as a shield between her hands and my skin and spread each one of my legs as wide as they would spread. She got off the bed and stood next to Brandt and they surveyed me. A couple of real fucking art patrons.
“That looks good, no?” Nellie said and turned to Brandt.
“Yes,” he said and hung his head.
“Should we spread her arms too?” Nellie asked as she cocked her head to the left and to the right. “Out, like she’s on a crucifix?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Brandt said. “We want to make it looked like she was killed by a savage rapist not a goddamned priest,”
“Oh, excuse me, Mr. Criminology,” Nellie said and crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine, no arms. Come on, your turn. The last part.”
“Okay,” Brandt said and took a deep breath. “Wait
. Get that pillow and shove it under her ass. It’ll be easier.”
“Brandt,” Nellie said, “I won’t be able to lift her!”
“She weighs like 90 pounds,” Brandt said and pushed Nellie toward the bed. “Just do it.”
Nellie got back on the bed, grabbed a pillow and shoved it under my body. My hips were raised off the bed and my legs were wide open. Between the way they posed my body and the carnage that bled out all over the white bed linens, it was positively grotesque.
“Okay, I did the pillow, I spread the legs,” Nellie said. “Oh, and don’t think I can’t guess who ordered her to shave her pussy bald like a little girl. Really wicked, Brandt.”
“She was a little girl,” Brandt said.
“Whatever, we’re back to this? I told you that I am fucking sorry I killed your fucking wife! I don’t know how else to say it. Maybe you’re just not as invested in us as you say you are, is that it? Maybe you actually fell in love with this little cunt even though that wasn’t the plan either?”
“The goal was always to get her money,” Brandt said. “But you cannot deny that it would have been better for us if she lived for more than one fucking day as my wife!”
“You’re stalling, aren’t you?” Nellie said. “Why are you doing this?”
“Nellie, I am a thief and a lothario, yes, but I am no murderer.”
“And I am?” Nellie said. “Is that what you think of me?”
Bonnie and fucking Clyde continued to bicker with each other about who was less of a bag of shit until Brandt put an end to it.
“Enough,” he said. “We are wasting time. We can argue about this when we get back to Boston.”
“Fine, Brandt, do it,” Nellie said and pointed to my hairbrush that was on the bed with the rest of the contents of my purse.
I watched in horror as Brandt covered the paddle of the hairbrush with the washcloth and knelt on the bed with the handle pointing between my spread legs.
“Oh, Jesus, no,” I said when I realized what he intended to do and banged on the rafters. “Please, don’t.”
Brandt pointed the handle of my hairbrush toward my vagina and brought his arm straight back.
“Allow me some fucking dignity!” I said.
Brandt took a few sweeping practice runs, stopping short of plunging the brush handle into me.
“Come on,” Nellie said, “you said yourself we’re wasting time. Just do it.”
Brandt looked over his shoulder at Nellie.
“We’ll burn for this, you realize?” Brandt said. “We will fucking burn for this.”
“At least we will burn together. Now, do it!”
Brandt turned his head toward me and brought his arm straight back.
“I’m sorry, Sophia,” he said and slammed the handle of the brush into my vagina.
Brandt jumped off the bed and turned his back toward my body. He shoved the washcloth into his pants pocket and walked to the corner of the room and grabbed his suitcase. He walked to the bedroom door and didn’t turn around.
“Come on, Nellie,” Brandt said with his back to her. “You need to leave first.”
Nellie was all smiles as she stared at my vandalized body.
“I wish I had a camera,” she said and laughed.
“You’re sick, Nellie,” Brandt said and shook his head. “A real fucking sicko. Let’s go.”
Nellie slipped out of the suite first, Brandt a few minutes later and they were gone. I looked down at my body positioned on the bed like a defiled scarecrow.
And that was it.
The first night I spent in the rafters was terrifying. I thought of my family and how they’d react when they were told what was done to me. I thought of Katt who won the prize for the biggest I told you so in the history of I told you so’s. I thought of Brandt and Nellie and how they’d soon be living high off the hog with my money in my home. And I thought of James who tried to warn me about this very thing.
I dreamt of wolves prowling around on the ground under me. There was no tunnel with a bright light shining at the end or resplendent angels waving me through pearly gates. Just the wolves with their low growling and the darkness and the terror of being alone.
“You did not make me suffer…merely wait.”
Pablo Neruda
I don’t know if I woke up or came to, but when I looked down from the rafters and saw my body on the bed, white as snow and posed disgustingly, I knew it was no nightmare.
It was morning and I realized that I was a ghost. I still felt emotion, I could still feel the rage and the fear and I felt the rafters as I banged my hands against them and screamed when I heard someone open the door to the suite.
“Help,” I said, “I’m in here! They killed me!”
I looked down and James walked into the suite and toward the bedroom. He placed his hand against the bedroom door and bowed his head. He gripped the doorknob and twisted slowly until the door opened. He stood in the doorway and looked at my body on the bed.
“Oh, Sophia,” he said and shook his head as he walked toward my body. “Why didn’t you listen to me?”
“I’m still here, James,” I said. “I’m up here!”
James stood next to my body and rubbed my forehead. He bowed his head and closed his eyes.
“I want to get down,” I said.
Apparently, that was the secret sentence because I fell from the rafters toward the floor and landed on my feet behind James.
“James,” I said and reached toward him. “I’m here, I’m stuck here!”
I was scared to touch him. I didn’t know if my hand would go through his body. But then, James turned and faced me.
“Hello, Sophia,” he said and smiled.
“Oh my God, James! Can you hear me?”
“Shhh,” he said. “Of course I can hear you. The way you’ve been screaming? I’m sure they can hear you all the way to Los Angeles.”
“Are you real?” I said.
“Touch me. Here,” James said and placed his hand on his chest. “Feel.”
I reached toward James and laid my palm on his chest. He felt as real as anything I’ve ever felt. He put his hand on my chest. I threw my arms around him.
“I can feel you,” I said. “My hand didn’t go through you. Your hand didn’t go through me.”
He moved away from me and placed his hands over his ears.
“Yes and we’ve already established that I can hear you as well. So please, no more shouting, okay?”
“James, what am I?”
“You are that which is between,” James said and smiled.
“But how can—”
“I hear and feel you?” James said.
“Yes,” I said and closed my eyes because I knew the answer.
“Because, I am that which is between as well.”
“But yesterday, before that,” I said and nodded toward my dead body, “I heard you and felt you. I certainly was not dead when we met, when we kissed. I felt that.”
“When we met yesterday, you were half-way here,” James said and pointed to my body. “Despite everything I did to try to warn you, there is very little that can be done to halt the progression. Actually, it’s against the Law to do so. But when we met, I had to at least try.”
“So this is it?” I said. “I’m a ghost?”
“Ghost, is such an uninspired term,” he said and shook his head. “We really don’t like ghost.”
“Fine…spirit, apparition, poltergeist, fucking Casper. Whatever, I’m dead.”
“Yes, you are dead. And so am I,” James said. “We are confined to this place, bound, if you will.”
“I’m a prisoner,” I said.
“Prisoner is a bit overstated. You can’t fly around the world, but the Battleroy is hardly a prison.”
“But why is this happening to me? I’ve done nothing wrong.”
“What would you say to a kid if he asked you why the sky is blue or why they have to eat their vegetables or why bedtime is seven o�
��clock?”
“I’ve no idea, I don’t have children.”
“You’d say, just because. The answer to your why is, just because.”
I turned and stared at my body laid out on the bed like a horrific sacrifice.
“Take that out of me,” I said and pointed to the brush as the rage rose.
“I can’t,” James said. “And neither can you, I’m afraid. Nothing can be done to alter the natural evolution.”
“Natural? What the fuck is natural about that?” I said.
“I’m so sorry, Sophia. It is what it is.”
“They did this to me,” I said.
“Yes,” James said.
“It was all a ruse. Everything. A trick!”
“Yes, it was.”
“And this, whatever the hell this is, is my punishment?”
“If you want to see it that way,” James said and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Want to? Tell me how I should see it. God fucking knows I’m open to suggestions. Fuck,” I said and covered my mouth, “is there even a God?”
“Do you think there is?” James said and brushed some lint from his pants.
“Is this going to be how it is?” I said. “I’m spending eternity with an existentialist apparition? Must you answer every question I ask you with another fucking question?”
“No?” James said and chuckled.
“Please James, the crossover has been murder,” I said.
“Ah, good one. Look, Sophia, I know you have questions and I will answer them. The others will tell you as well,” James said and stood from the bed.
“There are others?” I said picturing a bunch of white sheets floating around.
“Yes. A few.”
“You mean on Cape Cod or just here?”
“I’m sure there are scores on the Cape. But I was speaking about the others here.”
“Am I stuck in this room?”
“No, Sophia. You can go anywhere on the grounds, including the private beach and the lake. You just mustn’t go over the surveyed areas.”
“What happens if I do?”
“You won’t,” James said and brushed my cheek.
“But what if I want to?”
“You won’t,” James said.
“I can hear you, you don’t have to shout.”
“Would you like to get out of this room?” James said and held my hand. “Would you like to go exploring with me?”