by Lola Swain
Luca felt Katy’s panic from where he stood. He looked up in the balcony and tried to spot Lena, but the column was blocking his view to them. He took a deep breath, grabbed the champagne and made his way through the crowd and over to Katy Kirschner.
He stood behind her and watched her pulse fluttering in the side of her neck. He loved that spot of anxiety on a woman. It showed the world how utterly vulnerable they are.
“Excuse me,” Luca said into Katy’s ear, “champagne?”
Katy gasped and jumped. She swung around and stared at Luca. At first, her face was contorted in terror, but relaxed and her eyes softened as she stared into Luca’s eyes.
“Yes, thank you,” Katy said and took the champagne from Luca. “I’m very thirsty.”
“Drink up then,” Luca said and tipped the base of the champagne flute toward Katy.
Katy Kirschner sucked down the champagne in one swallow and placed the empty glass on a cocktail table next to them. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Katy smiled as she extended her hand to Luca.
“I’m Katy Kirschner,” she said in a regulated voice. “I am here with my husband Paul. Paul is a special prosecutor with the State Attorney’s Office.”
Luca thought Katy sounded like a robot and wondered if all the Stepford wives at the party had a similar affect.
“I am very pleased to meet you, Katy Kirschner,” Luca said as he took Katy’s clammy hand. “I am Luca Maretti. I actually met your husband earlier.”
“Paul?” Katy said and released Luca’s hand and rested it on her chest.
“Unless you have another husband,” Luca said and winked. “He even said that I could dance with you this evening.”
“Really?” Katy said and cocked her head. “How did you know you wanted to dance with me? I believe this is the first time that we’ve met. Unless, wait, do we—”
“No, it is the first time. I watched you as you walked up to the entrance when I met your husband.”
“Oh, I see,” Katy said and looked at the dance floor. “I’m afraid I won’t be the best dance partner. Two left feet, as I’ve been told.”
“I don’t believe that for a minute! Those beautiful feet could produce nothing but perfection on the dance floor. Come,” Luca said and took her hand.
Luca led Katy onto the dance floor and thanked the moon that they were at a slow-dancing conservative event. He took Katy into his arms and pressed his body against hers.
“You are a marvelous dancer, Mr.—”
“Luca,” Luca said into Katy’s ear.
“Luca,” Katy said and sighed. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve danced with a man.”
“Except for your husband, I’m sure.”
Luca felt the effects of the pill taking over Katy’s nervous system. She was utterly moldable.
“No, not even my husband,” Katy said and glanced down at the floor.
“What a shame,” Luca said as he ran his hand down Katy’s back. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing. Next to my wife, you are the best dance partner I’ve ever had.”
When Katy looked at him and he saw the clear disappointment in her eyes, he knew that getting her back to the hotel would be easier than expected.
“I didn’t realize,” Katy said and glanced at Luca’s hand. “I guess I need to look at hands before accepting invitations to dance.”
“Why?”
“Well, if your wife sees us…I don’t know, I guess I wouldn’t want to threaten any woman. It is a horrible feeling. Not that I’m threatening, I’m not saying that. I’m sure she’s very beautiful. I don’t know, ignore me. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
“First of all,” Luca said and rubbed his hand back and forth against Katy’s lower back, “my wife is very beautiful, however she is not the jealous type. Secondly, and I want you to hear what I am saying, if she was the jealous type and saw us dancing, she’d be insane. You cannot think you’re not threatening. You are one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever had the pleasure of dancing with. And believe me, I’ve danced with a lot of beautiful women.”
Katy blushed and looked into Luca’s eyes. Luca could tell that the pill was fully engaged in her system and he had to work quickly.
“She is a very lucky woman. You must really love her. A man like you, so handsome, with beautiful dance partners all over, I’m sure. And you’ve always returned?”
“What do you mean?”
“To her, after all these dances with all these beautiful women, you always return to your wife?”
“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Oh! I don’t think you shouldn’t. I think you absolutely should. But with all that temptation, well…”
Luca pressed Katy’s body into his and brushed his lips against the side of her neck and up toward her ear. She became rigid for an instant, but the moment he breathed heavily in her ear, she was like a soggy noodle in his arms.
“Are you asking me if I cheat?”
“No!” Katy said and sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested the side of her face against his chest. “Yes, I think that is what I’m asking.”
“Then ask me,” Luca said and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist.
Katy lifted her head and looked into Luca’s eyes. Her eyes were at half-mast.
“Do you cheat on your wife, Luca?”
“No,” Luca said and smiled. “Now, ask me if I fuck other women.”
“What?”
“Ask me!”
“Do you do…that…with other women?”
“Yes, of course.”
Katy stopped dancing and Luca held her tighter.
“You said you didn’t cheat.”
“I don’t.”
“It’s the same darn thing!”
“It is not. My wife, Lena is her name, knows. My wife is in attendance.”
“How does she do that?” Katy whispered. “How on earth is she able?”
“She is able because it pleases me and all she wants to do is please me. And it’s not without pleasure for her either, let’s get that straight,” Luca said and chuckled.
“I can’t even imagine,” Katy said.
“You should. Things weren’t always wonderful between she and I. I said I don’t cheat on my wife, but you did not ask me if I ever cheated on my wife. I used to. All the time. Every chance I got, which was every day, I was on the hunt. And she suffered. That poor woman was a hotbed of nervous tension. Just like you.”
“I’m not, I—”
“Shhh,” Luca said and put his finger on Katy’s lips. “Yes, you are. I felt it across the room. I recognize these things. I lived with it, remember?”
“And you will never leave her,” Katy said as her eyes welled up with tears.
“Never. Ever. I have no reason to leave Lena. I look at her and my heart pounds. It is Lena that I love and Lena and I will always stand united. We are a gang…a force. Lena and I are never divided.”
Katy’s tears spilled down her cheeks and Luca almost laughed at the thought that he hadn’t made two women cry in the same night in quite a number of years.
“That’s what I want,” Katy said and nodded. “That’s all I want.”
“Of course you do. Who doesn’t?”
“Yes, that’s what I want. Oh, Luca, I love him so much and he doesn’t—”
“Yes he does. Your husband loves you, he’s just not in love with you. He loves you like a man loves a woman who always remembers his boss’ birthday and buys the perfect gift. Or the way a man loves a woman who never forgets to wash his socks with unscented laundry detergent because the perfumed kinds make him itch. But that’s not enough. That is not enough to keep your man from leaving you. Would you like me to tell you what to do so this man never thinks for a second to leave you?”
“Yes!”
“Well, I can’t tell you unless you promise you’ll do everything I tell you to do. The process cannot be started unless you promise. It won’t work unless
you promise.”
“Yes! I pinkie swear, no take-backs, infinity promise that I will do anything and everything you say if you help me keep my husband.”
“Very well,” Luca said and smiled. “You have to get wild, get uninhibited. Do all of those things that he would never in a million years expect you to do. Those are the things he does with the other women, you know. He goes out and does unspeakable acts with other people, doesn’t he?”
Katy nodded dumbly.
“Yes. Well, those acts need to now be performed by you.”
“That’s it?” Katy said and locked eyes with Luca. “No, it can’t be. I’ve tried that. I bought lingerie and a dirty movie. Do you know that he had the nerve to watch the movie while he masturbated like an animal, in front of me? Then, what does he do? He rolled over and went to bed after he dirtied the sheets and his silk pajamas!”
Katy’s voice was shrill and a little more amplified than Luca was comfortable with. He looked around at the couples surrounding him and as is common with the insanely self-absorbed, were too engaged in their own individual dysfunctions to notice theirs.
“That’s not enough. Lingerie and a dirty movie are kids’ stuff. You need to be the actress in the dirty movie, not a passive observer.”
“Like kinky things?” Katy said and clapped her hand over her mouth. “I can’t believe I said that…kinky. I think I’m drunk. I really do. I feel drunk and I only had one drink!”
“You’ll be fine. Yes, I am talking about the kinky things. However, I have a feeling that your version of kinky things and what is needed here is not going to do the job. I’m talking real down and dirty, nasty kinky things.
“Oh,” Katy said and stared off into space. “Hey! I saw a website where girls get, you know, hot and bothered, by sitting on cakes.”
“Come again?” Luca said
Katy giggled as she leaned into Luca and lowered her voice.
“I couldn’t believe it, but as I watched these pretty girls sitting on the cakes and wiggling their bottoms around on top of them, the icing going into places where icing should never go, I got a little…you-know-what.”
There’s that word again, Luca thought as Katy droned on. Who the fuck over the age of eleven uses the words you-know-what as a descriptor for anything?
“I’ll bet,” Luca said and knitted his brows together. “And you mean cakes like from a bakery? Not a euphemism…cakes?”
“Yep, cakes. It’s a whole culture.”
“Well, my dear, you have officially educated someone who, for all intents and purposes, knows more than the average person about sexual proclivities.”
Katy was quite proud that she taught Luca, the worldliest man she ever met, anything about anything. So Katy Kirschner did what Katy Kirschner always did when she felt the least bit of encouragement: she kept on talking.
“They, the people who indulge in this practice, are called cake people and the practice itself, cake sitting.”
“Makes sense,” Luca said and glanced at his watch over Katy’s shoulder. “Well, we can—”
“Perfect sense,” Katy said and nodded. “But the really neat thing is, well, they don’t just use cakes to…”
“You-know-what?” Luca said and searched for Lena in the balcony.
“Exactly. Nope. It can be anything really, croissant, scones, bear claws, cupcakes, I really enjoyed watching the cupcakes, pies, of course, any—”
“I’m sorry,” Luca said and stopped dancing, “did you say bear claws?”
“Yes.”
“As in, claws from bears?”
“It’s what they’re called. It’s a pastry, silly.”
“Ah,” Luca said and resumed shuffling his feet to the music while becoming increasingly annoyed that he couldn’t see Lena.
“Anyway, any kind of pastry, like I said. And then they do these neat little tricks with the icing. It’s really quite naughty. They use whipped cream, butter cream, cream cheese, custards…vanilla, chocolate…mascarpone and the marzipan, oh my goodness, the marzipan is something else. One of the episodes featured a—”
“Katy!” Luca said and held his hand up in her face. “Enough, okay? I understand.”
“Okay,” Katy said and pouted. “I just thought maybe if I could do some of the stuff I saw on cakesitters.com, it would keep Paul interested.”
“Cakesitters.com? Yeah, not quite where I was going. Why don’t we start with this,” Luca said as he saw Paul and Lena coming down the stairs and caught Lena’s eye. “Finally. Anyway, why don’t you and your husband come to visit with my wife and I. Right now. We have a suite at the Waldorf.”
“Right now, right now?” Lena said and giggled. “You’re crazy. Paul would never go for something like that. It’s the Governor’s Ball. I don’t even think the Governor is here yet. No, he won’t want to leave.”
“Then you must convince him,” Luca said and tightened his arms around Katy’s waist. “How long has it been since you’ve screamed like a banshee because you were getting fucked so good, you thought you’d die if it ever ended?”
Katy looked up at Luca and licked her lips.
“I-I don’t think that’s ever happened.”
“Do you want it to?”
“Yes!” Katy said as she nodded her head.
“Tonight? You want to scream like a banshee tonight?” Luca said as Lena and Paul walked toward them. “Quick, here comes your husband!”
“Yes! Tonight!”
“Then tell him, now. And don’t take no for an answer.”
Luca twirled Katy and swung her around until she faced Paul and Lena. He pushed her toward them and she tripped, but caught herself in a mighty display of drugged-out clumsiness before she fell to the floor.
“Katy,” Paul said and grimaced at his wife. “This is—”
“Hi,” Katy said. “Paul, I want to go to the Waldorf with Lena and Luca. Tonight. Right now.”
“Okay.” Paul said and smiled.
Katy’s mouth dropped open and she whipped around and stared at Luca.
“Did you just see what I did?” Katy whispered.
Luca winked at her and then extended his hand to Paul.
“How are you, Paul? I see my vixen of a wife found you.”
“Yes,” Paul said and stared at Lena. “She is enchanting. Shall we all go?”
“A moment please with my wife?” Luca said and took Lena’s arm. “We will meet you both by the coat check in five minutes. Sound good?”
“Sounds perfect,” Paul said and took Katy’s hand. “Five minutes.”
“Five minutes and then we’re off to sit on some cakes!” Katy said.
Paul looked at her with disgust and shook his head.
“I apologize for my wife. It seems she’s been standing next to the champagne fountain too long.”
Luca and Lena walked toward the bar as Paul dragged Katy into the foyer.
“Sounds like she had her head in the champagne fountain,” Lena said. “She’s pretty messed up.”
“You have not one goddamned clue how messed up she is. Cakes, Lena,” Luca said as he watched Katy and Paul. “She wants to have sex with cakes!”
Luca ordered he and Lena two drinks and looked back into the foyer. He saw Paul whispering in his wife’s ear and Katy looked like she was crying again.
“What’s he doing to her?”
“Don’t worry. He’s on board. What do you mean she wants to have sex with cakes?” Lena said.
“Just what I said. Oh, and not just cakes…éclairs and scones and shit. And bear claws. Do you know this thing?”
“Yes, bear claws! Yummy! They used to have these really good apple bear claws at Jimmy’s Bakery on Hanover Street. Apples and cinnamon and sugar. They drizzled a caramel glaze over them when they were hot from the oven. Man, I used to get up early on Sunday mornings and—”
“Enough with the fucking deserts!”
“Excuse me, you diabetic freak!”
“Cute. Let’s just focus. S
o, he seems into it?”
“Yeah,” Lena said and picked up her vodka from the bar. “He’s a nasty man, Luca.”
“We know this. So it shouldn’t be too hard to deliver his punishment, should it?”
“Not at all. And her?”
“Aside from wanting to have sex with pastries? She’s a pain in the ass. I see why he cheats on her. Not in the age choices, but I do see why he has to get away.”
“Lovely. And her punishment?”
“It will be good. I only gave her half a pill so she will remember and feel everything, but she was loopy enough to go.”
“Well, a chick who wants to have sex with cakes doesn’t sound like too much of a prude. Maybe she didn’t even need the pill.”
“Oh, believe me, she needs it. We are going to probably need it to deal with her. Have you ever heard of this group the cake sitters?”
“No,” Lena said and took a deep breath, “can’t say that I have. Finish your scotch. I have a feeling that if she annoys him too much, he’s going to change his mind. Are we going in their limo?”
“Yes, we don’t need ours. Punishment should be finished by dawn and then back to the Order.”
“Good. I never thought I would say this, but after being here tonight, I miss home.”
Luca stared at Lena and frowned. He reached out and brushed his hand against her forehead and looked down at the floor.
“What’s wrong?” Lena said.
“Nothing. I just know what you mean, sweetheart,” Luca said and finished his scotch. “Let’s get this freak show on the road.”
The ride to the Waldorf with the Kirschners was paved with much discomfort.
Katy continued to chatter on about cake sitting and got into the scotch in the bar in the back of the limo—which led to even more nonsensical chatter about sitting on cakes. Paul ignored his wife the whole time and instead, stared at Lena and goaded her with obscene gestures to lift her dress up. Lena fluctuated between the desire to rip out Katy Kirschner’s tongue and Paul Kirschner’s heart and remained silent with her arms folded across her chest. Luca did the same. Additionally, he was very jealous of the attention Paul Kirschner paid to Lena. Luckily, it was a relatively short ride.