“Baby,” I hear him implore and he’s close to me now which makes my head jerk up and I step back. “Hannah—”
“Hannah?” I swipe at the tears that are still falling and glance over at Ryan. “Hannah,” I say, nodding as if confirming something then look back at Brody. “I hope you and Hannah have a wonderful life together. I hope you have your five children and you’re very happy.” Then my voice hitches before I say, “Goodbye, Brody.”
I turn, and latching onto Ryan’s arm to keep me from crashing to the floor, walk out of the station as dignified as I can, or as much as someone whose whole world utterly and completely crashes and burns right before her very eyes can.
~~~
Today I did something I’ve never done before—I called in sick.
After Ryan and I left the fire station, I’d walked straight home. She’d come along, the whole time trying to talk about things, but I told her I’d had enough talk and just needed to be alone for a while, hopefully without any thinking thrown in. She’d left telling me to call if I needed anything.
I took a shower where I’d ultimately ended up crawling into the corner, knees pulled to my chest, arms around them, and crying as the water sprayed down on me. I stayed that way for so long I didn’t even notice the hot water had run out until I was shivering so badly my teeth were clacking in my head. I’d gotten out, put on pjs, moisturized my face and body then gone straight to bed.
The bad thing was sleep didn’t find me. Instead, I lay there curled into a tight ball as bouts of sobbing wracked my body and I found myself wishing my heart would just stop beating so the pain would go away.
But the honest-to-God worst part of it all were the moments when I’d finally become calm, my body eventually quieting itself out of pure exhaustion and I’d think maybe I’d sleep, and that’s when the images of Brody and another woman having sex would flash into my mind threatening to make me insane. Him with his mouth on her using his tongue in the way I liked it, the way that was only meant for me. Him executing the double thrust thing he unknowingly did where he drove in deep then pulled out quickly and surged back in again going even deeper which, swear to all that’s freakin’ holy, made me come every time because it felt like he was touching my very soul. His body covering hers from behind as he slowly and methodically pumped his hips into hers, plunging in as far as he could go whispering in her ear how good she felt.
The sobs that are torn from my throat at these visions serve to make my voice raw and it’s also these thoughts that push me to the very edge making me want to seek out a hypnotist who can erase every memory of Brody I’ve ever had. God!
So after getting zero sleep and being traumatized by the apparitions of all things horrid going on inside my head, I get up and go to my store. At five-thirty I call Darby Epperson, a woman who usually only works for me over Christmas, and she agrees to come in and cover today. When I explain that I might need more time, she tells me she can work tomorrow too and then goes on to say she’s actually available full-time now since her youngest is in high school and driving. I tell her that’s awesome and that we’ll talk soon about it.
When we hang up, I realize I’m sinking fast and need my family, so I head to Mom and Dad’s letting myself in to see Dad sitting at the dining table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, Mom in the kitchen making breakfast. When Dad stands to get more coffee he sees me.
“Hey, honey. You’re up awfully early,” he’s saying when I fling myself into his arms and start, you guessed it, crying again. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asks wrapping his arms around me tightly.
“Piper?” Mom’s come over now. “What’s going on, dear?”
I pull back from Dad and sob out, “Brody has a baby!”
The shock is apparent on both their faces and they simultaneously call out, “What?”
I nod. “It’s true. Peyton told me last night. So I confronted him. I asked if he had an affair and he just looked at me. Then he said the woman’s name is Hannah.” I’m still crying so Hannah comes out as Ha-ha-nah-ah-ah-ah.
“Slow down, Piper,” Dad instructs then leads me to the table to sit. “Now start from the beginning.”
He and Mom sit also and I tell them about going to Kade and Amelia’s, specifically what Peyton said and finish with the firehouse confrontation. Afterward there’s silence for a few moments until Mom breaks it.
“Well, that doesn’t sound like Brody at all.”
I look at her through swollen eyes. “He didn’t deny it.”
“You haven’t slept,” Mom notices. “Come on. Let’s get you to lie down and rest before you collapse.” She helps me up and starts leading me to my old bedroom but I stop.
“I wanna be here with you and Daddy.”
She nods and takes me to the couch instead. I sit while she goes and gets a pillow from somewhere then brings it back and orders me to lie down. She covers me with an afghan and that’s all I remember until several hours later I hear her talking.
“I know. That’s what I said. Uncharacteristic. Uh huh. Yes. Uh huh. Oh, I think it’s a great idea. I’ll have her call you when she wakes up. How’d Addie do at Mommy’s Day Out?” I hear her laugh. “She’s going to have to learn to share. Sounds just like you when you were little.”
“Mom?” I call and she looks over at me from the dining table. “I wanna talk to Greer.”
I sit up and she gets up still talking. “Okay, yes. Hang on, here she is.” She hands the phone to me with a sweet smile.
“Greer?” Annnnd I start crying again.
“Hey, Pipe. Oh, honey, don’t cry.” Then I hear Greer start crying too. “It’s all gonna be okay,” she says through her tears. “I promise. Shhh.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I whisper as my tears ebb some. “I can’t face him. I can’t. It’ll tear me apart even more.” I wipe my face with the sleeve of my hoodie and hear Mom cluck her tongue at me. The next thing I know, she’s handing me a box of tissues.
“Here’s what you’re gonna do,” Greer answers. “Clay and I have a two-week package to a resort in the Adirondacks that we can use any time and we’re giving it to you. After we hang up, I’m gonna book your flight for tonight out of Richmond. You can have two weeks to yourself to go to the spa or ski or shop or ice skate or snowmobile or if none of that works, you can just hang out in your room. Watch crappy reality TV and call for room service. If you want, I’ll even add another week. Addie and I can come up for a couple days if you want us to. Okay?”
“I don’t know. The store…”
“Mom said she’ll work and she has friends who can help out too so you don’t have to worry about anything. Sound good?”
I think about it for a moment knowing if I stay here, all I’ll do is mope around and there’s the possibility of running into Brody at every turn. Or I can go to the resort and mope but not have to worry about seeing him. Problem solved. “Yes.”
“Great. Go home and get packed then head this way so you can stop by here and we’ll talk. Then I’ll drive you to the airport. I love you, sweetie. See you soon!”
“I love you too.” We hang up, I give Mom a hug and tell her I love her (Dad’s already gone to work so I’ll call him later), and then I head home to get things sorted.
Chapter 7
“The Mane Event. How can I help you?” Ryan answers as I drive to my house.
“Hey, I’m on my way home from Mom and Dad’s and wanted to let you know I’m heading to a resort in the Adirondacks for a couple weeks,” I inform her.
“That’s awesome! Wish I could take some time off and go with you but I’ve got too much shit going right now.”
“You can fly up and take a three-day weekend,” I suggest when I pull up to my house hitting the garage door opener and driving inside.
“Maybe.” I hear her flipping through her appointment book. “I don’t know, Pipe. The high school’s Winter Ball
is next weekend so I’ve got tons of girls coming in. Fuck.”
Damn it. “Well, it doesn’t have to be the weekend. Maybe midweek? Sorry. I don’t mean to pressure you, but it’d all just be better if you came with me.” I get out of my car, close the garage door and go inside my house.
“Wish I could.” She sighs. “But you can call me any time, honey. You know that. Day or night.”
“Thanks, Ry. Okay, just wanted to let you know what’s going on.” I take a breath. “I saw him,” I whisper.
“Saw him?”
“In my head… with another woman.” My breath catches. “It just about killed me.”
“Oh, Pipe. God, I hate this so much for you right now.” We’re quiet for a moment before she says, “But you need a break.”
“I need a break,” I agree.
“Yeah. You’re gonna be fine. Promise.” I hear her moving around some. “Jesus. Agnes Wagner’s here for her face peel. Swear to God, she’s so old and her skin’s so thin I just know it’s gonna peel off with the mask one of these days and I’ll freak the fuck out.”
I chuckle. Leave it to Ryan to instantly cheer me up. “Let me know how it goes with Mike,” I remind her.
“I will! I hope he’s gonna take me somewhere nice!” she says excitedly. “All right, be safe. Text me when you get there. Love you.”
“Love you too,” I reply. “I will. Bye.”
After hanging up, I grab my suitcases out of the hall closet and commence to packing. I’m not sure if this trip will help but it’s damned sure better than staying here.
~~~
“Addie dabbie-doo!” I pick up my niece and spin her around in Greer’s living room making her squeal in delight before pulling her close to hug her tightly, burying my nose in her neck to take in her baby smell. Man, best smell in the world. I pull back and make a face at her and she chortles, smacking me in the face with both hands.
On the way to Richmond, I elected to ignore my pain for now and put my pouting on hold until I get to the resort that way I can get it all out without bothering everyone else.
I blow a raspberry on Addie’s neck and she pulls her shoulder up, tipping her head down and her sweet little toddler giggles soothe my soul. God, they should so make soundtracks of babies laughing to help people through the grieving process. I guarantee they’d sell. I set her on the floor and plop right down with her to play with the million toys she’s got spread out everywhere.
“I called Mom while you drove here and got the details. Dang, Piper. What the actual eff?” It always makes me chuckle when Greer censors herself around Addie.
This time I don’t chuckle. Instead I sigh. “I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t wanna talk about it right now, okay?”
“Fair enough.” She sits on the floor with us. “Clay’s been hinting that he wants another baby.”
This is a shock. My head whips around to look at her. “Wow.”
She laughs. “I know. I could have two in diapers if I’m not careful. That would be fun.”
Greer’s four years older than I am. She and Clay, who’s four years older than she is, started dating her first year of college and got engaged a year later. Three years after that, they married just after he’d graduated optometry school and she’d gotten her bachelor’s degree. I loved how they did things. After marrying, they’d waited eight years before having Addie because they said they wanted to do things together for a while, just the two of them, which they did and I was way jealous (of course, not in a really serious jealous kind of way). They’d gone to Paris, taken cruises, you name it, they pretty much did it. They also bought a gorgeous house, got the cars they wanted, ate out whenever they felt like it, pretty much lived it up before deciding to have kids, which I thought was smart. And now they’d given me my adorable niece.
“Addie, you wanna be a big sister like your mom?” I ask her but she’s busy banging an orange plastic star on a bucket whose lid has different cut-out shapes on it. “You know, so you can lock your little brother or sister in a closet and tell him or her there’s a clown in there with them?” I glare at Greer as she cracks up.
“Oh, my God, I forgot about that. That was so mean! But you learned to stay out of my room, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, after having nightmares for a whole year afterward. You were mean!” I look at Addie who’s now (furiously at times) trying to cram the star into her slobbery mouth. “You’re not gonna be mean like that, are you sugarpuff? You’re a lot nicer than my older sister, I just know it.”
I stay for an hour then it’s time to head for the airport.
“Make sure to call once you get there,” Greer says after helping me get my luggage out of the back of her SUV.
“I will.” I walk to the back door and open it hopping in quickly to tell Addie goodbye. “You be a good girl for Mommy and Daddy, okay?” She gurgles something unintelligible to me as she chews on the now saliva-covered shortbread cookie Greer gave her then holds it out toward me. “Oh, it’s okay, honey. I’m good. You eat it. I love you, Addie dabbie-doo.” I hold her hand with the cookie and kiss her chubby cheek. “Bye, baby girl.”
I come back out and close the door then hug Greer. “Thank you. I love you.”
“Love you too. It’s all gonna be good. Okay? Again, don’t forget to call,” she says in my ear.
I pull back and smile at her. “I won’t. Love you guys.” I pull the handles up on both suitcases and roll them into the airport hearing Greer holler after me that she loves me and to be safe. I turn back with a smile and nod then go in and the doors into the airport close behind me.
~~~
“I need to fly more often,” I tell Ryan when I’m settled in my room. I’m lying on my king-sized bed that’s posh as heck with its puffy comforter and lush pillows. I’d already called my family to let them know I made it so lastly I’m talking to Ryan. “That’s the most action I’ve gotten in a year, having that TSA officer feel me up.”
Ryan snorts. “Too bad they can’t hire guys who look like Charlie Hunnam or Tom Hardy to do it. I’d be flying at least once a week and I’d make damn sure to ‘accidentally’ leave my keys in my underwear.” She cackles at this and I chuckle and shake my head as I roll my eyes.
“You’re such a nut.” I so love my best friend who constantly keeps my mind off all the bad going on in my life right now. “You should see this place, Ry. It’s amazing. It’s like a luxury lodge. My room is huge!”
“Yeah, yeah, rub it in while I was stuck here having to give Alice Jenkins a pedicure today. You know how crusty her toes are. Ick!”
I chuckle. “So, have you heard from Mike?”
“Nope. It’s after seven and nothing. But it’s okay. I’m good being single. I mean, I’m a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need anyone,” she answers. “Yep, strong… independent… woman… who needs to get fucking laid for Christ’s sake,” she adds with a groan. “Wow. Totally negated that first part, huh?”
“Kinda sorta,” I answer with a chuckle.
“But I did forget to tell you he was totally giving me ‘the eye’ Monday night at Taekwondo lessons.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. All us students were paired up and we were sparring, you know? Wearing those ugly head guard things? So I’m pretty sure he was watching me when the kick spin I did that was meant for my partner accidentally landed on the instructor’s chin, who incidentally wasn’t wearing a head guard, and knocked him to the mat.”
“Oh, shit.” We both start laughing and I laugh even harder when I picture Ryan in one of those silly helmet things, flinging her long leg around to knock the dude down.
“Jesus, so embarrassing,” she mutters through her chuckles now.
“At least you got Mike’s attention,” I offer with a snort.
“I’m sure I did. It’s what I live for, to have him notice what an idiot I am.” She huffs out a laugh. “‘Kay, I’m glad
you made it safe. I’ve gotta get out to Josh and Camille’s to babysit because they’re going to Richmond to eat and see a movie. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the amazing Friday night of twenty-eight-year-old Ryan Stratton.” She makes a roaring sound as if an audience is cheering making me chuckle again.
“Have fun. Let me know if he calls.”
“Will do. Love you. Just relax and take care of you, got it?”
“Got it. Love you too. Bye.”
After I hang up, I look around the huge room. There’s a small kitchen, a sitting area with a big screen TV, a desk with stationary and pens and a fabulous fireplace (Clay and Greer know how to do it up right, I tell you). I grab the three-ring binder off the nightstand that has the lodge’s brochure in it and start looking at all the activities that are offered to me during my stay. As I go through it, I see lots of appealing things to keep me occupied and decide that tomorrow morning I’ll eat a magnificent breakfast, go to the spa and have a facial then a massage. After that, I’ll drive my rented SUV and go into town, get some groceries and ski gear, come back, eat lunch then hit the slopes.
That sounded like an amazing plan. I keep flipping pages (there’s a lot of stuff to do here!) and as I’m doing so, pull part of the comforter over me continuing to check out everything that’s offered. I don’t know when it happens but it’s so nice and cozy in the room and the comforter’s so soft and thick that I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep and, thankfully, don’t wake until the next morning.
~~~
Today has been amazing. I did everything I planned to do except at the spa, where I not only had the facial and massage, I also decided to get a Brazilian wax. I’d never had one, Ryan gets them and brags about how awesome they are so I figured why not? I’ll just sum the experience up in one word: Ouch. But all burning of tender bits aside, I honestly do feel a bit sexier.
After going into town, I came back, put away my groceries and made myself a sandwich, then went and had a freaking blast out on the slopes. And even knowing I’d be sore in the morning it was so worth it because it kept my mind off everything. When I finished, I returned to my room to remove my new and totally cute black ski pants and white ski jacket hanging them on the rack of the portable clothes dryer that’s set up in the huge bathroom.
Always and Forever Page 7