Instinct told me not to go back the way I had come, but I didn’t have another option. Panic started to take over my body and my eyes began to search along the road to the closest house or apartment block, looking at any place I could possibility run to and call for help. The other side of the park was just a road set along a lake. Looking in both directions, I could see it would be a considerable distance if I was to run to the nearest house.
What to do? I did know self defense, so going back the way I came wasn’t a completely moronic idea. I could defend myself against someone if I really wanted to, except given recent threats by Wickburn, I wasn’t sure what I could be up against.
Why did I completely give up on cell phones? I could really use one right now.
I was about to turn and go back, fearing I didn’t have any other option, when a familiar looking car pulled up on the road leading out of the park. It was Clint’s Mercedes. His automatic driver’s window wound down. He looked at me with panic and then yelled out, “Get in now!”
Without hesitation, I frantically ran towards him and climbed into his car. Clint sped off, allowing me to breathe a little easier from not having to confront whoever was in that park.
“What’s going on Clint? How did you know where I would be?”
He kept his eyes firmly on the road. “You weren’t in your apartment when I woke up. Your car was still in the basement. This was my only other option about where you could be and a chance one at that. You don’t how relieved I am to find you right now Norah.”
My breathing settled. “Someone was following me in the park.”
Clint wouldn't look at me. He must have known something was going on. “Look, since I told Wickburn I wanted out of the Lappell and that I was keeping you out too, things have been, different. They still really need your acceptance, and now I’ve thrown a huge splinter into their plan. I’m not sure what they will do to us.” Clint just looked at the road and avoided my stare. I don't think he wanted to panick me further.
“Do you think it’s just me they are after?”
Finally Clint glanced in my direction, a terrified look evident in his face. His eyes seemed wild with fear, “No I don’t. I think they thought I was in the park with you.”
My fists clenched at the idea of violence towards Clint or myself. It made me ready to explode.
“Do you think they will hurt you?” I asked, but he tried to ignore my question. I just stared at him, waiting until he looked at me and saw I required an answer.
He finally uttered, “Look things will be fine once I sign over my trust, and then it’s done. It’s done. We won’t be a concern.” The way his words stuttered, trying to reassure me, made me think that was not the case.
“Norah, my family has a cabin up in the woodlands just outside town. I think we should go there today. We need to talk.” I shifted so my knees faced towards the car door and I stared out towards the roads that twisted and turned into the woods.
“OK Clint, whatever you think will keep us safe.”
Chapter 18
Cabin
Clint pulled his Mercedes up alongside a very modern looking cabin. It resembled more of a luxury double storey cottage than a rustic cabin in the woods. The outside was built using wall to wall timber log paneling and the roof was A-frame. There was a wooden staircase from the outside leading up to the second storey and a grand balcony which overlooked the nearby lake and mountainside. For something considered to be a holiday home, it was magnificent, although compared to the Weston mansion, and everything else they seemed to have, it seemed to fit perfectly with their lifestyle. You couldn’t really expect anything less.
“I thought maybe we could spend the day here,” Clint eyed me carefully, keeping his arms resting on the steering wheel as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, staring out the window. I hadn’t quite put together what happened with Clint last night and I was still confused about how I was feeling. I knew I wasn’t ready to discuss our relationship, if we still had a relationship at all.
“I suppose it’s a good idea considering what happened,” and I felt my breath catch in my throat.
Clint grabbed my hand with his, “You mean last night?” and I moved my hand away from him and to my chest.
“No, I meant the park. Someone was following me. Do you know who it was?”
Clint’s eyes darted and he became very still. “I think it’s a good idea if we stay here today. There are so many things I want to say to you while you are less, inebriated.”
I got out of the car and looked around. I could barely make out the road we came in on and we were surrounded by pines and shrubs. The isolation made me feel nervous, especially without being able to formulate an escape plan in my head.
“I feel like you’ve kidnapped me.”
Clint looked hurt. “Norah, I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just think we need some privacy so I can explain myself. I know that you don’t fully trust me after everything that happened.”
I looked at Clint and into his eyes that gave me any answers I might have needed. When I stared into them, I saw the softness and fear he had was real. I couldn’t help but trust that. “OK, let’s talk,” and I started my way up the staircase with Clint closely following behind me.
The cabin was filled with beautiful furnishings that were very warm and inviting. Plush couches covered in floral fabrics, beautifully crafted wooden dining chairs and a table. Numerous bookcases filled with antique-looking books, pewter bookends and framed family pictures. There was a small stereo system sitting on one of the corner bookshelves and numerous lazy boy armchairs close to a fireplace. It all looked very cozy and I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of staying here some cold night with Clint, with nothing but a good bottle of wine, music and the sound of a crackling fire. Hmmm.
“Can we sit?” Clint ushered me over to one of the closest couches and we took a seat, facing in towards each other. I placed both my hands in my lap and kept my head down, trying to avoid Clint’s eyes.
“Norah, I know it looks like I can’t be my own person. I can’t even tell my parents what I want to do with my future and I do what the Lappell tell me with no regard for the consequences. Those are actions which I’m sure tell you that I can’t be trusted.”
It was true, I was thinking that, but I had seen the glimpses of the real Clint Weston who fought for what he wanted and what he believed in. I wondered what happened to that guy.
“Clint, I know you are better than that and are capable of being your own person. I’m just still so angry you didn’t tell me sooner that I was just some assignment given to you by the Lappell. Do you have any idea how used I felt?”
He dropped to his knees and looked at the floor. “Truthfully, from the moment in front of the Chagall, you had me Norah. Until that moment, I didn’t know moments like that existed between a man and a woman. I felt breathless, unhinged and lost, all in one split second because you deterred my future with just one look. You have no idea how completely floored I felt that a girl could so instantly take all my control and direction and all that I knew to be normal, and turn it completely and utterly upside down.”
Whoa! I think my heart just wept.
“And then in your apartment, sweeping you off your feet, and then you looked at me, but you didn’t just look at me, you looked ‘into’ me and I felt it all over again. It was disarming that every time I was near you, a part of me never wanted to let you go. The day I asked you out in the quad, was the day I was told to go out with you, but you had me before that Norah.”
Clint took my hands in his. “So let me be clear, I didn’t know who you were to the Lappell when I was asked to go out with you. I was only told the Lappell wanted you to join and that I should help you realize that choice. I didn’t know why they wanted you so badly until you told me your real name, and then it all made sense. Sometimes we aren’t privy to all the details. We just have to do what we’re told.”
I stared at Clint’s hands h
olding mine and I lifted my head to look at him. “That’s an awful way to live Clint, and I should know.”
His eyes dropped from mine, but he continued to talk. “I knew I ran the risk of you finding out, or worse; me confessing the truth to you which would be against my orders from the Lappell, and you don’t want to know what that would result in. It was why I kept running away from you. Why I constantly tried to distance myself over and over again. I was fearful that if I got too close to you, that I would lose you through my own admission. The more I tried to run, the greater the feeling of loss and pain inside me. It was absolutely wrong what I did, but I did it because I love you even though I knew I could lose you.”
I could see the tortured way he was explaining his predicament. He was in a hard position and his choices were difficult, although it still didn't excuse him from not telling me sooner.
“I had every intention of telling you Norah, please believe me, I just had to find a way out of the Lappell first.” He got up off his knees and sat next to me on the sofa, still holding my hands. “Even though I might have lost you, I don’t regret a single moment of our time together, because I’ve never known this kind of love. When I’m with you, I feel like everything I want to be.”
I tried to close my eyes so I wouldn’t succumb to my heart that was aching to hold him. His way with words reached into my soul, making me feel the exact same way.
“I’m going to fix this, for us, for you.” His hands travelled up my shoulders and then back to my hands which curled up in his. He pulled my hands onto his chest. “My world came alive since I met you. I don’t want the Lappell. I don’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps. I want to make my own future, with my own choices, and most of all, I want to do all of it with you.” His eyes were genuine, real, unfaltering. I believed him whole heartedly and still I hesitated, withdrawing my hands.
Clint looked crushed, “You don’t feel the same way?” His voice was broken.
“No it’s not that.”
His eyes brightened a little with hope.
“Don’t you care about who I am Clint?” My greatest insecurity had emerged.
“That you are a daughter of a mobster? No, it doesn’t matter to me.”
I looked at him with sympathetic eyes. “It should matter. You have no idea what you are saying. The world I’m from is bad. I’ve seen things that have forever implanted blackness in me that I will never recover from. I am broken and damaged in all kind of ways. I’m not perfect, and I feel like you see me as a perfect when I’m not, far from it. I’m not ashamed of who I am, and I can’t change who my father is and all that comes with it, but I think you’ve created some kind of image of me in your head that simply isn’t true. I want to be loved for me and all my faults. I don’t want to be put on a pedestal.”
Clint shook his head. “I know you are not perfect. Neither am I. All I know is that since I met you, a part of me has come alive; the best part, and I can’t ignore it. I won’t, and I’ll fight for you until I’m certain you don’t want me anymore.”
I wanted to give in to my heart, I wanted to let Clint hold me and kiss me but I wasn’t ready. I needed more time before I could ensure I was acting rationally with my feelings and not impulsively.
“I’m just not ready to do this yet Clint. Let’s talk about this again after I sort out this mess with the Lappell.” I started to edge towards the door, but then Clint walked over to the bookcase where the stereo system was positioned. He pushed a button and then turned back to me, holding out his hand, his arm outstretched. Music filled the room.
“Is this Jeff Buckley’s, Everybody Here Wants You?”
“Yes it is Norah.”
“I love this song.”
“I thought you would. Dance with me.”
“What?”
“Dance with me, please.”
He was serious. I swallowed as I grabbed onto his hand and allowed him to pull me into his body, his head pressed up against my ear as we swayed in time with the music.
“Forgive me Norah. Come back to me. Be that girl that bravely confessed her love and told me that she would always fight for us.”
I pulled away from him. I had to. I was so close to giving in to my heart that I had to create some distance.
“Clint… I… I….” I shook my head.
He walked forward and pulled me back into his embrace, holding me closer than before. I could feel his fear, his need to not let go.
As the song ended, I released my hold on Clint and started for the cabin door. Clint reached out and caught my arm, seizing me before I could take more than two steps.
“Let me go,” I tried to shift out of his grip but his grasp on my arm was tight. I was so close to letting Clint back in. I needed to get out of this cabin.
“I love you Norah, please give us a real chance. Please tell me that you believe me. Last night,”
“Clint, last night I was…”
“Don’t say you did that because you were drunk.”
“No, I wanted you, I won’t lie, but I’m still, confused.”
“Is this about Josh? You told me you kissed him. Has it changed how you feel?”
“I…”
'I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know,' was repeating over and over in my head.
“Fuuuuck Norah. I can’t stand that I can’t control any of this. I feel completely helpless, knowing I may have destroyed the one thing that has ever meant something to me.”
That pulled at my heart. Why was I punishing him so much? Was it because I cared too much for him, knowing how easily I could be broken again if I lost him too? Or was it because I did want to be with Josh and I was trying to push Clint away? My mind couldn’t find clarity. Too much had happened in such a short span of time and nothing seemed to be making sense about how I really felt.
“Norah, I know you feel it too. What we have is special. Don’t walk away from it.”
I turned my face away so he couldn’t see.
“Let me look at you please.”
I turned my face back around and tears had fallen onto my cheeks. My body went limp in his hold as he took my face in his hands.
“You are so beautiful, do you know that Norah? Crying doesn’t make you weak, it tells me that you are just as affected as me, and I thank you for that. It gives me hope.”
Damn my body and my inability not to suppress those tears.
“Do you have any idea what you are saying Clint? I don’t think you grasp the severity of what being with me means. Do you know what my father has done, what type of man he is? People will always think differently of me because of my name. Normality in a relationship will never be possible with me.” Tears continued to streak down my cheeks as I spoke.
“I don’t want normal Norah, I just want you any way I can. Normal would never feel right with someone as precious and unique as you.”
“Clint, don’t. I’m not quite sure. I just need a little more time. I’ve still got to sort out this thing with the Lappell before I even think about a relationship”
I stepped back from him and wiped my face with my arm. I had to get my emotions back under control.
“I told you that I’m sorting it out for us, my trust…”
My palms flew up in the air halting what he was trying to say.
“No, I won’t allow you to do that.”
He stepped towards me, trying to get close again. “But it’s my choice.”
I closed my eyes, sighed heavily and opened them to look at Clint. He had to understand that using his trust was not the way out of this situation.
“It’s the wrong choice Clint. That money is your future, and I’ll feel like I’ve been bought.”
“That’s not my intention.”
“I know that, but there must be another way.” I finally turned around and headed for the door and walked out of the cabin. I had to leave the conversation where it was. Emotions were running high and I had exposed myself more then I should have.
&
nbsp; Clint started the long drive back to my apartment. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, trying to steady the millions of thoughts racing through, and when I opened them, I saw we were rounding the corner to my apartment block. I had been asleep in his car for nearly two hours.
My next priority was to try and decide the best course of action with the Lappell, and then I would focus on my heart. Slowly, as we drove down my street, I noticed a figure emerging from the entrance of my apartment building. As I looked closer, I realized it was Josh.
“Uh oh,” I said out loud. I could see Josh’s eyes squinting as he recognized Clint’s car. Josh was standing wide eyed on the footpath, looking at me through the windscreen, a look of shock on his face. I took a deep breath. This was going to be ugly.
I tried to open the car door when we pulled up, but Josh had already run over to my side, whipping the door open and helping me out as if trying to save me from the clutches of hell.
“Norah, where have you been? Are you OK?” His eyes focused on mine, trying to sense if I was distressed. Clint watched as Josh pulled me into his arms and his body flinched. He raced over to my side of the car and pulled at Josh’s shoulders as he held me close to his body. It was all happening so fast I could barely get any words out.
“Let go of her Hollows.” Clint demanded.
Josh’s head instantly turned and glared at him. “After what you did to her? I don’t think so,” and he increased his hold on me, my face buried in his chest even more. I couldn’t even talk. My mouth was pushed into Josh’s T-shirt. Clint looked at Josh’s hands, rubbing my back and he pulled at Josh's shoulder again.
“I said. Let. Her. Go.” Clint's voice was even angier then before.
I pulled out of Josh’s embrace, feeling the heated display of testosterone in the air. “Stop you two, just stop.” They both looked at me as I tried to calm them down.
“What lies has he been feeding you Norah!” Josh blurted out. Clint lunged at Josh, but I held up my arm, halting him to a standstill.
Pieces of Lies Page 19