“Things have been so out of control. I still feel like I’m still on a damn roller-coaster.” I was allowing my frustration to finally get more vocal.
“People do crazy things for love don’t they?” Tess pointed out.
Like my ex-fiancé trying to use the Lappell to marry him.
I nodded in agreement. “Yes, they certainly do Tess.”
She handed me another shot and together, we clinked our little glasses and then threw the tequila back down our throats. It burned this time, and I had to close my eyes as I swallowed, allowing the burning sensation to subside before opening my eyes again.
“Is there anything else holding you back?” Tess asked.
Samuel.
“No, nothing comes to mind. I just need to think some more.”
“You’re thinking too much Norah. Just feel OK.”
I stared at my empty shot glass that I put back on the counter top, trying to assess my feelings. “Can I ask you something Tess?”
“What’s that?” she asked curiously.
“Do you even like Josh?”
I had to admit to myself that I was bothered about her behavior every time he was around, and since we were openly discussing these boys, I thought I might as well ask. I wasn’t about to make a decision about Josh if Tess had a thing for him. I liked Tess too much not to consider her feelings.
“Where the hell did that come from?” Tess sounded shocked by the question.
“Well, every time he is around us, you clamp up completely. Am I missing something?”
“Clamp up? Uh, uh, I suppose I do, don’t I. Gee I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was obvious. It’s just, oh, well, OK, alright. Please don't think I'm weird, OK Norah. It's just I like, ummm, I like to watch.”
“Watch?” This time I was the one who was shocked.
What on earth was she talking about? Is she being kinky?
“I guess the best way to explain it is that I’m an observer.”
“That really isn’t an explanation Tess.”
She threw her hands up in the air like she had been caught out. She stumbled as she found one of the stools positioned near the kitchen bench and took a seat. “Look, you and Josh, when you are around one another, it’s like the world is a stage and you two are the stars. It’s entertaining, it’s heart breaking, it’s funny and sad. The way you both bounce off each other, it’s extraordinary. I suppose you can say I enjoy the show. I wish I had that with someone. I can’t wait to see what happens next.”
I tilted my head, staring at Tess in surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah really. God, you must have thought I secretly liked him, or worse, thought he was a complete douche.”
Ha! Spot on.
“No, of course not.” I shook my head quickly, hoping she wouldn't catch me in the lie.
“Look since I’ve met you, there hasn’t been one mention of a friend back home. No one. Nada. Zip. I figured whatever you were running from, you left any so-called friends behind. But with Josh, I can see the friendship Norah, see how much you need it and crave it, how important it is to you. It brings you to life. It’s no wonder you forgave him so easily. I probably would have held a grudge for a lot longer.”
I choked in disbelief. "Tess, I think you have it all wrong.”
She shook her head. “No, I think you’re in denial. And that’s the problem with Josh. I think you want to fall for him, very deeply, but if it doesn’t work out, you might lose him for good, and losing that friendship would break you. It’s no wonder your heart is looking for an alternative. You are not ready to go down that path.”
Was she right? I didn’t know.
“And it’s not a bad thing to be exploring your options Norah. I mean, you’re in love with Clint. That’s obvious to me and to everyone, but to say he’s the ‘one’, I wouldn’t hold my breath. Although I would say he is the one for you right now and that’s probably exactly what you need.”
My head spaced out again, lost in what she saying. But she was right about one thing, I had to focus on the present and how I felt at this moment in time
“Norrrrrrrah,” Tess shot me a look as if to say 'seriously.'
“Oh, sorry.” My eyes focused back onto Tess who was waving her hand at my face, trying to get my attention.
“Look, let’s just go to the wedding and when you see them, I’m sure it will be clear to you what you should do. Now let’s go raid your closet for something I can borrow for tomorrow.”
I sighed, picked up the bottle of tequila, took a swig, and followed Tess to my bedroom.
Chapter 22
Freedom
As we stared at our reflection in my bathroom mirror, we both adjusted our outfits. I wore a fitted gold shimmery dress with no sleeves by Elie Saab, and I had loaned Tess one of my black Alexander McQueen dresses with a plunging neckline which fit her curves perfectly.
After we were satisfied with our designer looks, we both headed down to the car Tess had arrived in. It was parked in front of my apartment building.
“You didn't have to drive me to the wedding Tess,” I said looking into the passenger’s side of the silver 2005 Volvo.
“It’s fine Norah. My roommate is away all weekend with her boyfriend and she said I could borrow her car.”
“Still, we could have taken my BMW. You didn’t have to ask your roommate.”
Tess tapped the roof of her car, encouraging me to get in.“Oh Norah, my reason for driving is twofold.” I tilted my head her way curiously as we both climbed in.
“One, you might need someone to help you make a quick getaway if any major drama breaks out, cause let’s face it, that’s a huge possibility. And two, you might hook up, leaving me without a lift home.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Oh I know, but I’m not saying it like it’s a bad thing. I’m kind a hoping you do go home with, someone. Plus, I really do need to give my liver a break tonight, and I’d much rather be completely sober meeting your family.”
Tess must have been really nervous because it was completely out of character for her to not take advantage of free drinks. I just nodded, trying not to make it obvious that I knew her better than that.
“Oh, OK then,” and I started to play with the car radio trying to find some decent music.
“So, do you have any hot cousins?” My hand tensed and I let out a shocked laugh.
“Tess!”
She looked me innocently. “What, is it a no-go zone?”
I shot her a toothy smile. “No, but I will say enter at your own risk.”
She grinned mischievously, “Ohhh dangerous. I like it.”
It didn’t take long for us to travel to Marchwood, given Tess’s flat foot on the accelerator. She certainly liked her speed. I actually felt relieved when we finally pulled into the huge gated entrance of the country club and my feet were on stable ground.
“So, do I look good? I look good, right?” Tess asked a bit panicked as we both climbed out of her car.
“You look amazing Tess. My cousins are going to be in so much trouble.”
She looked at me nervously as she handed the valet her keys. I could tell she was scared and I needed to help her relax. “Seriously Tess, you look perfect. I am so happy you are here with me.”
She let out a big gulp of air and pushed her clutch underneath her arm. “Alright then, let’s do this,” and she took my hand as we walked into the country club.
Tess and I blended in perfectly with my cousin's elegant indoor ceremony and the lavish reception that followed. My cousin Francesca had spared no expense with her wedding, decorating both the ceremony room and reception hall with towering arrangements of cream colored peonies, orchids and lilies. She also had a cake that was at least seven tiers high. The two hundred plus wedding guests included my entire family, complete with first, second and even third cousins, not to mention close friends and various business contacts.
During the cerem
ony, my eyes drifted behind me to where Clint and Josh were seated a few rows back. They stood there, looking like best friends, smiling and whispering to each other as if nothing had come to pass between them over the past couple of days. It was like the whole Lappell thing brought them closer together, even though I had watched them try kill each other less then two days ago.
Why do guys bond after they go all caveman?
“It’s weird to see them stand together looking so chummy, when it’s obvious they are both in love with you,” Tess leaned in and whispered into my ear as we both glanced back at them during my cousin’s vows.
I rolled my eyes at her comment. “I think that is a very big presumption.”
Tess huffed quietly and leaned in again, “Well, you’ve only got a few more minutes to pretend to be ignorant, so I hope you’re ready,” and she pushed me a little, reminding me to wake up to myself. As my cousin said ‘I do’, I looked back at Clint and Josh, who were both staring at me.
Their eyes burned into mine and they each had a yearning on their faces that secretly told me Tess was right. As I stared at both of them, I saw the look that Clint had given me at his family’s cabin, the same one which begged me for another chance, and when I looked at Josh, I saw those eyes that declared his love outside my apartment building after he whisked me out of Clint’s car. I sighed, and quickly looked forward again. I had a decision to make.
Tess and I made our way to the bar immediately when we stepped into the reception hall. I needed at least one dose of liquid courage before being confronted by the boys.
I took hold of the champagne flute from the bartender, and before the champagne could touch my lips, Tess nudged me hard, which caused me to stumble forward, the glass tilting in front of me and champagne tipping onto the floor. Two sets of hands reached out on each side of my body to help steady me.
“What the fuck Te…” but I stopped talking instantly when I realized the two sets of hands belonged to both Clint and Josh, who were helping me find my balance.
“I tried to warn you,” Tess slipped in as I stared at the boys speechless.
Awkward, awkward silence. Tess and I, Josh and Clint, just stood in a circle as we waited for someone to break the ice. It was then my father walked up to our little group, and the boys backed away from me.
“Lenorah. Boys,” he said in his best commanding voice, which I was sure he used to scare the boys, then to say hello.
Could he be more obvious?
“Hi Dad,” I said, and kissed him on the cheek.
“And this stunning beauty must be your friend Tess.” I looked to Tess who was blushing as my Dad switched his attention to her. My father always knew how to make a girl go all ga-ga with just one smooth line.
“Ohhhh, yes. That’s me. Nice to meet you Mr. Rossi,” she piped up, a little flustered. I rolled my eyes at my dad.
“Sorry gentlemen, but I’ve got the first dance with this lovely lady.” He held out his arm to Tess. She looked at me for permission.
“Of course she would love to dance with you. Go right ahead.” I watched them as they headed towards the dance floor. My gaze only lasted a moment before I had to turn my attention back to Clint and Josh.
Clint and Josh. Clint and Josh. Clint or Josh.
I closed my eyes for a second, opened them, and held out my hand.
“Josh, can I talk to you for a moment?”
Both boys glanced at each other, a little confused, so I stepped forward and I took Josh’s hand and led him away towards the terrace outside the reception area. I stared back at Clint, only to see the look of hurt that was evident all over his face. Guilt and tension burned through me, but I turned my attention back to Josh. We needed to talk.
The hardwood terrace overlooked the country club’s lush gardens and a golf course. I felt the light sprinkle of rain as we both leaned over the terrace railing, staring out towards the dark. “It feels like it’s always raining in this place,” I said turning to stare up into the night sky.
“It’s the time of year. You get used to it after a while.” Josh’s eyes went from the sky and back to mine as we finished our small talk.
“Look, Josh, about that kiss…” My voice trembled. Josh put his hand my shoulder in a comforting way, trying to help me to keep going. “It, it, it was everything I thought it would be, and if the situation were different, then perhaps, I don’t know, maybe…” I looked away, unable to make eye contact with him.
He stepped towards me, “I know alright, I know. It’s not our time. I see the way you look at him. You are still in love with him.”
I threw my arms around him in a huge hug, “Josh I’m sorry if I led you on, but I really was confused about how I felt. I really thought we would…” and I trailed off, unable to finish.
Josh continued to hug me back. “I know Nor, me too. I thought the same thing,” and then he pulled me out of the hug so he could look into my eyes, “but it’s not over for me Norah, this is just the beginning. I really think we will be each others end, I just know it.” He kissed me gently on my forehead.
“I’m sorry Josh,” I said, looking at the ground before lifting my eyes.
“It’s not like you are getting married Norah, we may still have our time yet, and I’ll always be your best friend, no matter what, alright.” I just remained in his arms, not wanting to ever let him go.
Josh then lifted his head and whispered into my ear, “I’m going back to New York after graduation.”
I tensed and stepped back from him. “What?” I was a little shocked by his news.
“The main chapter of the Lappell is in New York, so I’ll be going there. You know I’ve overcome any reservations I may have had about going back and I can’t stay here after what happened.” He looked at the concern and worry all over my face. “I know what you must be thinking, but it’s a good option. I’ve got a new car, a new apartment and a job already waiting for me in New York. It’s all organized.”
I swallowed hard, “The Lappell threatened your life if I didn’t join. You cannot be serious about staying so close to them?”
He closed the space between us, wrapping his arms around me. “I’m in for life Norah. I might as well make the most of it.”
I sighed and snuggled into him with understanding. “I guess it is better than the alternative,” I consoled and he nodded, before resting his head near mine.
In his arms I was sad, I felt like I was saying goodbye.
“Do you know what you’ll be doing after graduation?” Josh asked me.
I exhaled loudly as I tried to think about it. “I don’t know what I’ll do after grad; I haven’t made up my mind yet.” We continued to hug until I loosened my hands and let go. “Just promise me you will stay away from my father there. It would kill me if you got mixed up in any of his work.”
Josh cupped my cheeks in his hands, “I promise Norah. You can always count on me.”
I stood, taking an extra minute just to look at Josh, my best friend, remembering the start of the semester and the night we attended the de-virgin party when we almost kissed in my apartment. Perhaps if his cell didn’t interrupt us to begin with, maybe everything would be different.
“Josh,” I began to ask.
“Yes Norah.”
“The night of ‘that’ party, when we almost, you know, kissed, before we were interrupted by your cell...”
Josh looked at me curiously. “Yes, how can I forget. What about it?”
“Well, who called you that night? Who interrupted our 'almost' kiss?”
And Josh started to laugh, shaking his head from side to side, over and over again.
“What?” I pleaded, completely confused by his reaction.
“It was Clint who interrupted us Norah. He was the one who called.”
Oh for goodness sake.
I shook my head at Josh and at fate, and then remembered Clint and the look on his face as I walked off with Josh. “Oh damn! I have to go Josh, I have to,” and with those
words I ran back into the reception hall as fast as my high heels could take me.
When I returned to where I left Clint, I couldn’t see him anywhere. Tess was now standing in the same spot, chatting with a few of my relatives. She looked like she had relaxed into the scene, laughing and smiling in conversation with them. Running up to her, I grabbed onto her shoulder in order to stop myself from toppling over head-first.
“What’s wrong Norah?” Tess asked, helping me steady myself from stopping so abruptly.
“Where. Is. Clint?” I said between breaths.
“Oh Norah, he thought that you went off with Josh. Like you chose him or something. He left a few minutes ago. I guess he didn’t want to see you with him.”
I cursed myself out loud, “No, no, no.”
Her eyes brightened, “What, so you didn’t pick Josh?”
I brought my breathing to a calmed pace, “No, I want to be with Clint, but I had to tell Josh first.”
Tess smiled brightly, “That’s wonderful Norah, I mean not for Josh, but for you and Clint.”
I shook my head again, “It’s not wonderful if he has taken off thinking I picked Josh.”
Tess brought one of her fingers to her mouth as if she was thinking hard. “Hmmm, yes, I see your dilemma. Then go Norah, go get him! Take the Volvo, I’ll be fine.” And she pointed in the direction of the valet parking. I gave her a quick hug and took off to go after Clint.
There was a line at the valet when I arrived to get her car. As I stood waiting, I felt nervous, hating the time that was passing by, thinking about what must be going through Clint’s head at that very moment. It was then I recognized my Aunt Christina at the front of the line.
It’s now or never Norah.
Racing up to my Aunt as the valet brought round her Honda, I pleaded with her, “Aunt Christina, please let me borrow your car. It’s a matter of urgency and I promise I’ll bring it back in one piece, but I need to go right now!” I hadn’t seen my aunty in about a year, but I figured since she was family, she would understand.
Pieces of Lies Page 22