Contents
Title Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
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Single Wide Female & Family
(Book 2)
Baby on Board
By
Lillianna Blake
Copyright © 2016 Lillianna Blake
Cover design by Beetiful Book Covers
All rights reserved.
LilliannaBlake.com
Chapter 1
I opened one eye. It took quite a lot of effort to open. Once it was open, my heart began to race. Why wasn’t the baby crying?
I had actually slept. Not just dozed off between screeches, but actually slept. It felt good at first, until my mind surfaced enough to realize that it shouldn’t be happening.
I bolted out of bed and rushed to the crib to check on Abby.
The crib was empty. My stomach twisted.
“Max! Max! The baby!”
Then I heard the shriek, and I also heard Max mumble a few curse words under his breath.
I stepped out of the bedroom into the living room to find Max on the recliner with Abby on his chest.
“She was sleeping.” He kissed the top of her head and attempted to soothe her. “She was finally sleeping.”
“I’m sorry!” I walked over and plucked her from his chest. “When I didn’t see her in the crib I freaked out.”
“It’s okay. I thought I’d let you get some sleep. When she stirred, I picked her up and brought her out here.”
“But what if she was hungry?”
“She just ate an hour ago.”
“Max, in the first few weeks you’re supposed to nurse as often as possible. It helps bring my supply up, and the baby goes through different phases of cluster feedings and—”
I was silenced by the exhausted look in his eyes. I sat down on his knee and leaned close to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, sweetheart. Why don’t you get some sleep now?”
“Okay, just for a little while.”
I took his place in the recliner as he stumbled into the bedroom. Like a pro, I settled into a nursing session with Abby. One thing I adored about nursing was the way that she looked up at me. She loved to gaze at me while she filled her belly, and I loved to gaze back at her.
The first week hadn’t been nearly as peaceful. We’d struggled to find the right position, fought over a good latch, and more than once, I’d thought for sure that I’d have to give up on the idea of nursing.
Then all of the sudden, it clicked. She was able to latch without its feeling as if my breast was trapped in a vise, and I was able to relax and let my milk flow. It wasn’t like the pictures, that was for sure.
Between the deep cramps her nursing inspired and the incredible thirst I experienced, I thought about sending Max out to buy formula a few times. But now, I was happy that she was happy, and we’d found a way to make it work.
Her golden hair barely covered her round perfect head, and her father’s bright blue eyes stared up at me with adoration. It didn’t matter how smelly I was, or that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d combed my hair; she loved me and I loved her.
As she nursed, I thought of all of the ways our baby had changed my life.
I thought publishing my own book had turned everything upside down, but having Abby had changed everything.
I no longer worried as much about how I looked, or where I might find my next inspiration. My priorities had shifted the moment that I had a new life to protect and guide. However, it was easy not to think of much of anything when I was averaging only a few hours of sleep every night.
Luckily, since I was my own boss, I could take as much time as I needed to recover from labor and get to know my daughter.
I also got to know Max as a father, and he was amazing. Even when it came to changing cloth diapers, which only lasted about a week, he was there to do it. His Internet searches on his phone were filled with the hidden meanings of baby poop and spit-up.
I’d only posted a brief update about her birth and since then had been computer-free. I was so wrapped up in her beautiful life that I seemed to have forgotten that I had one of my own to tend to.
I stroked her cheek and she grabbed my finger and held on tight. My heart melted. Why had I ever been so afraid of such a magical experience?
I closed my eyes and it all came rushing back—the morning sickness, the back labor, the clogged milk ducts, and the tears I’d shed during painful nursing sessions.
Then there were the ways my body had changed. Yes, there were a few stretch marks on my stomach and even some on my breasts. Yes, my belly was still soft and full, as if I might be hiding another baby in there somewhere. Yes, my nipples were cracked and looked foreign to me in the mirror.
There’d been a million reasons to think that having a baby was a mistake and that I wouldn’t survive it. But I had, and to my great surprise, it had been so worth it—she was worth it all.
As Abby drifted off to sleep I was tempted to tickle her awake just to spend a little more time with her. Then I had to question my own sanity. Why would I risk waking a sleeping baby?
I walked her around the living room for a few minutes as I patted out one burp and then another. Once she was sound asleep in my arms, I carried her back to the crib.
Max’s snoring filled the room, but it was soft and not something that would wake Abby.
I settled her in the crib and stroked my hand down along her stomach to make sure she was sound asleep. Then I crept out into the living room.
Chapter 2
I could have gone to sleep. I could have checked my e-mail. I could have taken a shower.
Instead, I grabbed a pint of ice cream and the remote control. It had been forever since I’d watched a television show. Once it was on, I began to feast.
An hour later, the ice cream had melted all over my stomach, the show was over, and I’d slept through the entire thing.
Why was I awake now? Because the baby was crying again.
I tugged off my ice-cream-covered shirt and turned off the television.
As I made my way into the bedroom, I thought about all the moments I hadn’t appreciated before I’d had a baby. Being able to watch a television show uninterrupted was a big one. Reading a book—that was another one. Writing? That seemed like something I could only do on another planet.
I scooped Abby up in my arms and took her to the living room to change her. Once she was dry and happy, I settled her in my lap for some playtime. One thing I enjoyed was how easily she smiled. She loved it when I sang little songs and swirled her feet around. When I scrunched up my nose, she laughed as if I was the funniest thing she’d ever seen.
/> It occurred to me that even though I thought she was the cutest, most precious thing in the world, she might just be looking at me the same way.
“Is Mommy silly?” I stuck my tongue out at her.
She began to cry.
“Oops, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I picked her up and walked her around the living room again. As I rounded the couch my cell phone rang. It was my mother. Only then did I remember her planned visit for that very day.
I looked around at my living room, strewn with blankets, toys, dirty laundry, and a few unintentionally forgotten diapers.
“Hello?”
“Sweetheart, I’m outside. I didn’t want to knock in case the baby was sleeping.”
“Oh, Mom, I’m so sorry. I forgot—and the place is a mess and—”
“Don’t be silly, that’s why I’m here. Just let me in and I’ll help you.”
“Okay.” I still hesitated. What would my mother think if she saw the mess? Surely her living room had never looked like this. “Just give me a few minutes, Max isn’t dressed.”
“What, he’s walking around the house naked?”
“No, I mean—I just need to wake him.”
“Oh, just like a man—sleeping while you’re taking care of the baby.”
“No, Mom, it isn’t like that.” I held the phone against my shoulder with my cheek and grabbed up the diapers and dirty laundry as fast as I could.
Abby began to cry from all the jostling.
“Please, just let me in. I want to see my grandbaby.”
“Okay, okay.” I got rid of the dirty laundry and the diapers that were in my hands, then rushed to the door.
I opened it to find my mother, looking well rested with clothes that were spit-up free—I noticed these things these days. Her arms were loaded with bags from Baby Central.
“Mom, we already have so much.”
“Not enough when it comes to my granddaughter.” She dropped the bags inside the door and held out her hands for the baby.
I snuggled Abby a moment longer, then handed her over. “She’s a little fussy.”
“That’s alright, I know how to calm her down. Don’t I, sweet cheeks?” She kissed each of Abby’s cheeks. “You just need to dance, don’t you?” She swung her hips as she walked Abby around the living room.
I closed the door and rested my back against it for a moment.
“Samantha, you look exhausted. Why don’t you take a nap?”
“It’s almost time for her to eat again.”
“She’s not on a bottle yet?” My mother raised her eyebrow.
“No, Mom. She’s not going to be. She’s nursing just fine.”
“Oh, I just wanted to feed her.” She pouted. “Couldn’t you squeeze a little bit out for me to pop in a bottle?”
“Not yet.” I laughed. “Maybe when she’s a bit older. We’ll see.”
“Okay, you’re the mom. But really, you should get some rest. I’ll clean up while you’re sleeping.”
“No, Mom, you really don’t have to do that. I’ve been meaning to get to everything—it’s just I’ve been so tired.”
“Samantha, the newborn stage is rough. It’s okay. I’m not here to judge, I’m here to help.” She smiled.
I wanted to believe her, but I couldn’t help but feel judged, especially when I noticed that I’d accidentally dumped the dirty diapers in the laundry basket.
“You’re right, maybe I do need a little sleep.”
“Sammy, are you ready to trade off?” Max wandered into the living room, half asleep in his boxers.
“Oh my!” My mother gasped.
“Oh no!” Max crossed his hands over his groin and backed into the bedroom.
“Mom, don’t drop the baby!” I rushed over and took the baby from her as her shocked expression faded.
“I wasn’t going to drop her, but really, Samantha. I can understand you being shirtless—what with nursing—but where are his pants?”
I looked down at my chest, only then realizing that I’d never put on a shirt after taking off the one covered in melted ice cream.
“He didn’t know you were here, Mom. It’s not his fault.”
“I thought you said you woke him up?”
“I didn’t.” I bit into my bottom lip. “I tried to clean up before I let you in.”
“Oh, I see.” She sighed and sat down on the couch. “I guess I’m not being very helpful, am I?”
“Sure you are.” I sat down beside her. “I just lost track of what day it was and forgot that you were coming. Otherwise things would look a lot better.”
“But I don’t want you to worry about that, sweetheart. I’m here to make things easier, not to stress you out. Why don’t you and Max both get a little sleep? When Abby gets hungry, I’ll knock.”
“Okay, Mom. Thank you.” I hugged her and handed the baby over again.
Abby whimpered a little, then settled in my mother’s arms. It shocked me for a moment to see my mother with my daughter cradled against her. When had I grown up and made my mother a grandmother? It was a big change for her too. I couldn’t imagine one day holding Abby’s child in my arms. How would I feel?
“I mean it, Mom, thanks a lot.”
“Thanks for letting me help. Now off to bed with you.” She waved her hand and I obeyed.
I couldn’t wait to have the chance to snuggle up to Max.
Chapter 3
When I stepped into the room, I found Max standing there with all the dresser drawers pulled out.
“Sammy, where are my pants?”
“I’m sure you have something there.”
“No, I don’t. Not even a pair of shorts. I thought you did laundry?”
“Excuse me?”
“I thought you told me that you did the laundry.” He turned to look at me. “I would have done it if you’d told me that you hadn’t.”
“I did do it. Well, I think I did anyway.” I frowned. “I’m not really sure, to be honest. Maybe you should check the dryer.”
“And how am I going to walk past your mother like this?” He pointed to his boxers.
“Don’t worry about it now. She’s going to take care of the baby for a little while so we can both rest.”
“Alone?”
“Yes, alone.”
“Do you think she knows what to do?”
“She did raise me, remember?”
“Yes, I know that. But what if Abby spits up or she needs a diaper change?”
“Max, my mother knows how to handle all those things.”
“I don’t know.” He frowned. “I think it’s too soon to leave the baby alone with someone.”
“Max, we’re in the bedroom, not out to dinner. Do you want to snuggle or not?”
“Of course I do.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the bed.
The moment he wrapped his arms around me, Abby began to cry.
A minute later my mother knocked on the door. “She must be hungry.”
“Okay, Mom. I’ll be right there.”
I sighed and kissed Max’s cheek. I would have kissed his mouth but I wasn’t sure when I’d last brushed my teeth. “I’ll be back.”
“Okay. Let me know if you find any pants.”
After I fed and changed Abby, I started the load of laundry that hadn’t been done after all. I dug through to make sure that there were no dirty diapers or dishes mixed in. Once I thought it was safe, I picked up the bottle of shampoo and started to squirt it in.
Luckily I caught myself at the last minute. How many years had I worked in a laundromat and yet I’d forgotten how to do laundry? I laughed and poured detergent in. Once the washer started I made my way into the bathroom to take a shower.
I found a pair of my pajama shorts and tossed them into the bedroom for Max. Sure, they were hot pink with little candy hearts on them, but they were clean.
As the hot water ran down over my body I began to relax for the first time in quite a while. I didn’
t have to worry about Abby, as my mother had her, and I didn’t have to feel guilty about Max needing his rest, because he was sleeping.
After a few minutes in the heat I felt a strange sensation. I opened my eyes and looked down to see milk leaking from my breasts all over my stomach.
“Ugh.” I sighed and washed off again.
Once I was changed into respectable clothing, I walked out into the living room to join my mother. “How is she doing?”
“She’s perfect, of course. But her feet are cold.” She touched her bare toes. “Don’t you know she should be wearing socks?”
“She doesn’t like them.”
“Well, there are many things that children don’t like, but they still have to do them. You don’t want to start a trend of giving in so early.”
“They’re just socks, Mom, and it’s seventy-five degrees in here.”
“Do you need socks? I bought some.”
I gritted my teeth and reminded myself that my mother was the reason I was able to take a shower. Now was not the time to fight over socks.
“Let me get a pair from the nursery.” I stepped into the decorated room and dug through her organized drawers. Once I found a pair of socks I carried them out to my mother.
“How does she like the big crib?” My mother took the socks and tried to put them on Abby’s feet.
Abby kicked and squirmed.
“Actually she hasn’t been in it. We’ve been using the small crib in the bedroom.”
“What?” Her eyes widened. “No wonder you’re so tired. You’ve got to put her to sleep in her own room.”
“Mom, there will be plenty of time for her to sleep in her own room when she’s older. Right now Max and I feel safest with her in the room with us.”
“Okay, it’s not how I did it, but okay.” She gave up on trying to get the socks on Abby’s feet and smiled at her. “You are so beautiful. You look just like your mother.”
“I think she looks a lot like Max. She has his eyes.”
“Yes, I see. She’s a gorgeous combination. Why don’t you go out for a little while? You’re all dressed and Abby just ate. You could go for a cup of coffee or something.”
Baby on Board (Single Wide Female & Family #2) Page 1