by Lan Chan
“So do dreams and often they don’t mean anything.”
“Dreams do not happen while people are awake and should be guarding their posts.”
The distinction stopped her dead. But it didn’t do anything to change the conviction in her voice. “She was not moving. Either for or against us. Or for him.”
“Why do you think that’s the case? Think before you answer. This cannot be about protecting the girl.”
Astrid’s hands balled. “Sometimes it should be about protecting something other than ourselves.”
Angus shifted in his seat. “What did you see?”
The drawn-out breath Astrid gave was directly proportionate to the breath I was holding on to. A hand clenched around my heart. “Fear.”
“She was afraid?”
A nod. “But she didn’t run.”
“But she didn’t move either? What does that tell you?”
She glanced up and looked straight ahead. In the memory, she must have been looking right at Angus, but in the here and now, it felt like her focus was plunged into my soul.
“She looked like she was making a decision. One that could change the direction of the battle.”
There was no time for contemplation as the mirror threw up scene after scene of supernaturals who had been interviewed by the elite guard about the visions they had witnessed. Most of them corroborated the battlefield scene. But that was just about the only detail they had consensus on. The rest were minute and subtle differences that I chalked up to perspective and context. The sheer number of interviews began to weigh heavily on me.
It was no wonder half of the community wanted me dead or gone.
My spirit was just about crushed when the mirror offered up its latest interrogation. I sat up straighter as Emily appeared. In contrast, her figure was hunched on the cushioned armchair. She seemed to find a spot on the glass coffee table very interesting. A wooden bowl containing Arcana fruit lay untouched. Nora sat on her left and Declan on her right. My pulse spiked as I took in the room around her. Unlike everybody else, she wasn’t being questioned in the lifeless cell. There were golden curtains fanning the open bay window behind her back. In the far right, I could make out the distinct golden armour of a Nephilim guard. They were inside Seraphina.
“How long have you been having these visions?” Ivan asked. Tyler sat beside him.
Emily played with the hem of her dress. Ivan motioned to somebody across the room. One of the Nephilim guards approached.
“Where is Malachi?” Ivan hissed.
The guard, a blue-eyed woman, leaned close. “He’s with Raphael.”
“Get him here now.”
Doubt radiated off her face. “He won’t leave the Hastings girl.”
“Make him.”
“I would rather not, sir.”
It was a monumental effort not to turn around and look at Kai. There was no point. Everything I needed to know was right there in the bond. After I’d passed out inside Terran Hospital, he’d all but abandoned Emily to the elite guard and taken me to Raphael, only leaving when the seraph banished him. One of the Nephilim had already “asked” him to attend Emily’s interview. I bit my bottom lip at his expletive-laden response.
In the interview reel, Nora placed a hand on Emily’s shaking ones. “It’s okay,” Nora said. “Take your time. What you have to say is very important to us and we want you to feel comfortable.”
Emily’s shoulders slumped further. “I don’t understand any of this.”
Nora nodded. “I agree it’s very overwhelming. But nobody here is going to hurt you. In fact, you’re very important to us. We’ll do everything in our power to keep you safe.”
This time, I did swivel in my chair and raised an arched brow at Kai. “A bit different to how I was recruited, don’t you think?”
He tipped my chin around so I was facing the mirror again. “The most threatening thing she’s done since she got here was pass out,” he said. I scrunched up my nose and pushed his hand away.
Emily wrung the material of her skirt. “Why can’t I just go home?”
Declan leaned closer. He placed his arm over the top of her chair. “That thing –”
“Demon,” Ivan interjected. The death stare Declan gave him did nothing to soften Ivan’s demeanour. “There’s no use beating around the bush.”
Nora cupped her hands over her face and looked like she was screaming into them silently. Emily swallowed. “A demon? That’s not possible.”
Declan reached over and picked up an Arcana fruit. He held it out to Emily who shook her head. Lines of frustration bracketed his mouth, but he was careful not to express it verbally.
“There are many things in this world that you would find terrifying,” Tyler spoke for the first time. The sound of his deep voice had Emily glancing up. I caught the sliver of silver that passed over her eyes before they cleared.
“What did he do to her?” I asked, unsure why the notion made me uneasy. Perhaps because I was so susceptible to mind control. My apprehension was unwarranted. Emily showed no signs of being affected at all. She merely blinked at him a couple of times like she wasn’t sure why he in turn was staring at her so intently. I heard Tyler sigh. “That settles it,” he said. He must have smiled because I heard amusement in his voice. “At least you know there is no way we can trick you.”
She sat up straighter at this. “How so?”
“You are completely impervious to any mind control tactics we have at our disposal.”
She glanced around confused. “Some of the supernatural beings that live amongst us have the ability to compel or to create illusions,” Nora explained.
Emily’s mouth opened. “But it doesn’t work on me?”
“No.” Nora shifted in her chair. “Otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You would be back in the human world with no memories of what happened a few hours ago.”
Something about that notion calmed Emily down. I understood perfectly. Control. Even though the world would never be the same again, knowing that she has a little bit of power put a fraction of control back in her grasp. It was the same with me and the strength of my circles.
Ivan sensed the turn in her emotions and took advantage of it. “If you could please answer some questions, we would be very grateful.” He sounded like he had just bitten into a lemon. When was the last time he had to ask rather than command someone? “How long have you been having visions for?”
At first, Emily made no outward show that she’d heard. The fingers clutched around her skirt were whiter than the material itself. Finally, she raised her eyes off the floor. “I’ve always had dreams that seem all too real,” she said. “Or strange things would happen around me. The phone would ring and a face would pop into my head before I even picked up. That sort of thing.”
“The visions?”
She lips puckered. “About six months ago.” Right about when I’d started using the Angelical.
“How many visions have you had since then?”
She made the same pinched, contemplative face as Kieran. “I haven’t kept count. At least a few dozen.”
“And they always involve the same thing?”
The nod was solemn. Her mouth pressed closed as though she was afraid to speak the words aloud. Tyler made a forward prompting motion with his hand. “The girl, the one with the blue eyes, she’s standing in a field. Or in a grand room made of marble or crystal. Sometimes, she’s in a place with big gothic buildings. Or in a garden with faeries flying around her.” Faeries or nymphs? I swallowed thinking of the visions she’d transmitted of me inside the Grove.
“How do these visions end?” Ivan asked.
“Her magic fails and everything disappears.”
“The whole world?” Tyler questioned.
“Yes.”
“Do you mean the vision fades?”
Emily’s stricken expression was all the answer I needed. “No. I mean the world explodes. Like something you would see in a mo
vie. Everything is on fire.”
“I don’t understand,” Nora said. “Every single one of your visions ends this way?”
“Yes.”
‘But you’ve had dozens of visions. Doesn’t that mean…” She trailed off as the meaning became frighteningly clear. No matter which path I chose, I would end up with Lucifer and then I would destroy the world.
18
I was briefly aware of Angus powering the mirror down, but my mind was a million miles away. It took Kai squeezing my shoulder to drag me back to the present.
“How can you listen to that and not put much stock in prophecies?” I asked.
Angus stared at me, his expression unreadable. “I have been alive a long time, Alessia. There are many things I have seen that shouldn’t have come to pass. And many things that should have and never came to pass.”
“But how can –”
“Are you asking me to condemn you?”
I slipped off the stool. Away from Kai’s solid presence, my legs were numb. I had to latch onto the stool and rub the pins and needles from my legs. “I don’t know. Maybe? It’s a pretty damning prediction.”
My head was spinning a little. The only reason I wasn’t curled into a ball was because Angus was elite guard and I still wanted to hang on to a sliver of my street cred. “You’re frightened.”
“Damn straight.”
He stepped forward and crossed his arms over his chest. “Good.”
“Good?”
Light blue eyes captured me in their iron hold. “Fear is often the only thing that tells us we’re alive.”
“Well then I’ve very alive right now.”
His smile was unexpected and…stunning. It made me think that in another lifetime, he could have been a Fae prince. There was a sad quality to it that made my heartbeat speed up. “Try and remember that prophecies are filtered through their vessels. Emily is quite literally frightened of everything in this world. There is every chance she is manifesting her own fears.”
I clucked my tongue. “You know,” I said, “I would have thought you’d be a much better liar.”
Something brushed over my cheek. It triggered the Ley sight. I caught the last of a glamour slamming shut over Angus’s features. But it was too late. I’d seen the doubt in him.
“Alessia.”
“Don’t worry,” I told him. “Fear is kind of my default setting now. I’ll be okay.”
We both knew I was lying.
On our way out past the moat, I piped up before Kai could say anything he considered reassuring. “I’m going to Seraphina. I need to see Michael.”
“What for?”
“He sealed me up once. Maybe he can do it again.”
Kai frowned. “Sealing away your powers has nothing to do with what you just saw.” I was speed walking away, but he hardly broke his stride to keep up with me.
Sadly, Michael said the exact same thing when Kai finally relented. “Then take away my ability to release Lucifer.”
Kai choked. Both Michael and Raphael were grim faced. “Your link to Lucifer is in your blood, Alessia. And your choice to release him is tied to your free will. I cannot seal up something like that.”
“But I’m asking you to!” I turned from one of them to the other. Each was over eight feet tall, but they were backing slowly away from me as though I was the bully. “Please. You have to be able to do something.” I bit my bottom lip. Gaia’s suggestion surfaced.
Kai sprang. “No,” he barked.
Raphael tried to do damage control. “You’ve defied the prophecy so far,” he said. “You’ve defied so much of the expectations placed on you. Why not continue to trust your own instincts?”
It wasn’t my instincts I was afraid of. It was my complete susceptibility to supernatural persuasion. I tried to reason with them. “Jacob is a mage. What if he forces me to release Lucifer somehow? I have no defences against compulsion. Please. Please. Please.”
Michael scrubbed at his face in a very human gesture. Raphael tried his best to explain. “Our ability to intervene is hampered by the oaths we took when we breached the firmament. Our interference has already wrought so much disaster to the dimensions. We cannot remove your free will to choose.”
I wouldn’t be dissuaded. “This is just one tiny thing. It wouldn’t take that much.”
Michael stepped closer. “The ripple effect of taking away one aspect of your free will could be disastrous. Even Lucifer has not dared to broach that line.”
That was true. When it came down to the wire, Lucifer had left me alone when I had forced him out of my mind of my own free will.
“But he’s able to do so many other things you refuse to!” A reminder of the prophecy gave me an idea. “Erase my memories.”
“Beg your pardon?” Raphael said.
“Remove everything about the supernatural world. Let me go back to the human world and live my life not knowing about any of this. That way I won’t be able to release Lucifer because I won’t know about him.”
Even Kai’s voice had turned gentle. Like I was a caged animal they were trying to talk out of going rabid. “Even if you don’t know about us,” he said, “Lucifer knows about you. Buchanan knows about you. They’ll never leave you alone.”
“Then hide me!”
“What if your powers manifest in some other way? We’d have to get somebody to watch you day and night. Even then it wouldn’t be any reassurance that you would be safe.”
“Then have me compelled not to release him.”
Raphael brushed a hand over my cheek, trying to soothe the desperation that was making my jaw clamp. “You know very well that vampiric compulsion is based on proximity and contact,” he said. “Not even the elite guard have the strength to hold your mind captive indefinitely. Do you not think the Council have considered that option? And a compulsion disintegrates when the vampire dies. Lucifer knows this. If he wanted to release you from the compulsion, he would just murder your compeller.”
I slumped down on the stone bench. “What am I supposed to do then? Just run headlong into a prophecy? You speak about free will, but I feel like all my choices have been stripped from me.”
Michael came down to sit beside me. I had to scoot right over to the left edge of the bench so he could fit. “Why do you fear your own choices?” he asked.
“Have you seen where my choices have gotten me?”
His face reflected back a fondness that had a lump forming in my throat. “You’ve far exceeded any expectations we had from the moment we first met you. By our estimations, that little girl shouldn’t have lasted more than a few months. You wish to be stripped of responsibility for your actions, but your choices have moved you to a position where Hell itself fears you.”
I snorted. Michael gave me a grin that stole my breath. A battle raged in the depths of his blue eyes. One that I could barely comprehend with my basic, mortal mind. He blinked and the flash of his memories disappeared.
“Make no mistake about it,” Michael assured me. “Wherever Lucifer’s grace currently resides, he fears your ability to resist.”
My back bowed. “I just don’t know what to do.”
Michael’s hand rested on my shoulder. In my mind, the words of my Caribbean-accented visitor rang out. The only way out is for you to make the ultimate sacrifice.
“If you can’t do it,” I said, referring to my original request, “then I can ask someone else, right?”
Raphael sighed. “There are supernatural beings with the ability to do what you wish. But I would caution you against it.”
“What of Lucifer’s angel blade? Couldn’t that kill him?”
“A seraph’s weapon is an extension of themselves. It is a focus for our powers. His angel blade increases his destructive ability by a significant factor. All our angel blades could destroy Lucifer if wielded against him. But you would run into the same problem with containment.”
“See what I mean? I’m trapped at every turn.”
I
stomped out of the room in disgust. Kai strode after me at a more leisurely pace. He caught up to me in seconds. “What a colossal waste of time!”
“They’re not genies,” Kai said. “You don’t just get to make a wish and they snap their fingers and it happens.”
“I’m not asking for an easy fix!”
“Aren’t you?”
I rounded on him. “Which part of this do you think is easy for me? The part where I might die, the one where I might kill everyone I love, or the fact that I can’t do a damn thing about it?” A tendril of aquamarine flickered across my vision. Inside, the magic was fluctuating in tandem with my uneasy emotions.
The question sobered him. Kai paused for a moment, searching my face for something. “The prophecies will fulfil themselves if you keep focusing on them.”
“How can I forget when it gets shoved in my face every five seconds?”
“Nobody is asking you to forget them. But it is possible not to focus on them so that you can think clearly for a second.”
Something passed over his features. In that moment, I understood. It was exactly what he was doing in relation to my inability to bear children. Like the prophecies, the stark reality weighed heavily on him. But rather than focus on the inevitable disappointment, he pushed forward with a kind of demented hope that if he wanted it badly enough, he would find a way. I couldn’t believe it. Kai was an optimist at heart too.
“I really want to kill something right now,” I said. He took a comical step backwards. “Let’s go back.”
He hesitated. “I need to stop by the library.”
My nostrils flared. “Are you kidding? I wanted to go there before and you said there was no point.”
Logic was completely lost on him. As the sun climbed into the sky, Kai and I made our way past sanctuary and the military sector. The city never slept, but with the sun rising, it was getting busier on the paths.
This was a bad idea. Whenever I’d come to Seraphina over the summer, it had been through teleport directly to the library. Nephilim crossing our path shot us curious looks. Some of them nodded at us.
And then, a nightmare: the click-clack of stilettos on the pavement. “Alessia!” a shrill voice called out. Kill me now. My immediate reaction was to try a teleport. Kai latched onto my arm as Patricia caught up to us. As head of the Nephilim social society, it was her duty to keep up with my movements. Her words, not mine.