Rock and Roll High School: Growing Up in Hollywood During the Decade of Decadence

by Marisa Tellez

  took me to Dancers rehearsal studio in Van Nuys. The studio was right by the Anheuser Busch Brewery and the scent of hops and barley filled his car as we pulled off the 405 freeway.

  The rehearsal space had 1970’s style wood paneled walls and the only furniture in the room was a black leather couch. We sat down, chatted for a little bit and started making out. When our kissing got hot and heavy, he started to unzip my jeans and that’s when I had to ruin the party by pulling back and telling him I was a virgin. He didn’t seem to be too shocked by the news and was actually pretty cool about it. We hung out, kissed a little more, and then he dropped me off at home around the time I normally would’ve been strolling in from school.

  As the summer season kicked in, I started seeing more of Sheldon and much more of The Sunset Strip. On Sunday mornings, as my parents had the Sunday paper with their breakfast, I had my breakfast while putting together my social calendar for the following weekend. I’d go through the magazines and flyers I had gathered from the weekend and penciled in any upcoming shows on my calendar that I wanted to see.

  I incorporated a number of different factors on whether or not I would see a bands show. The first was word of mouth. Were they actually a good band or did they suck? Looking back on it now, I realize that 90% of the bands were shitty back then. But hey, I was 16. I didn't know any better.

  Yes, I'll admit that looks did matter. It was all I had to go on if I hadn’t heard their music. Although it wasn't a sole factor, it was a minor point that could sway me into going. If a band weren’t that great looking and sucked, I didn’t necessarily rule them out but only if they happened to be playing with a band I wanted to see, and here’s why.

  In terms of getting into a show for free, it was all about survival of the fittest. Generally, a pretty face and a big set of tits was the only ticket a girl needed to get into a show. Unfortunately, for yours truly, I was not one of those girls. I was more like the goofy little sister that was friends with all the bands. For the most part, they would usually get me in for free unless there was some new hooch on the scene that they were trying to hook up with. If it were the latter case, then I was shit out of luck and would have to pay my way in unless I knew the door guy. But that's where the sucky band came into play.

  There was a pecking order of bands at every show. Generally, the earlier you played, the less of a following you had. The only exception was the 11:00pm ‘ish time slot, which was reserved for the headlining band and they usually sold their tickets for about $10 a pop. The worst time to play was after the headlining band, which I called the “crickets and tumbleweeds” slot. By this time, everyone who came to see the headlining band had cleared out. So you played to a pile of barf on the floor and the five friends you berated into coming to your show. That band usually sold their tickets for $5 and that’s how I’d get in. Sure it's only a $5 difference from the headlining bands ticket, but take into consideration I was a teenage girl without a job. That extra $5 paid for gas to the show and an optional midnight snack.

  Things continued to progress with Sheldon over the summer. Everything seemed to be going right on track, except for the fact that Ronan was still calling me. I wasn’t returning his calls, and we hadn’t really spoken since the afternoon I hung up on him. I certainly had no desire to talk to him anyway because my feelings for him were long gone. I was completely gaga over Sheldon. But as the weeks passed, Ronan wouldn’t give up. He continued calling and even started sneaking into the parking lot at my school to leave letters and other gifts on whatever car I drove that day. He’d leave cards saying all this lovey dovey bullshit about how he wanted to work things out with us. I ignored all of his gestures, figuring he would get tired of trying and leave me alone, but that only seemed to make things worse.

  During my lunch break at school one day, I was walking to my dads truck to grab something when I caught Ronan leaving another of his many notes on the windshield.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I asked completely annoyed. “I was just leaving you a gift,” he said.

  He pulled the note off the truck and handed it to me with a

  rose attached. I didn’t accept either.

  “I don’t WANT your gifts,” I said with my arms crossed. “Oh yeah? Now that you’re a Sunset Strip whore, you think

  you’re hot shit?”

  “Yes Ronan. I am a Sunset Strip whore and I think am hot

  shit,” I said rolling my eyes.

  “You know those guys only want one thing.”

  “Oh the same thing you were hounding me about for the

  last year and a half?”

  “Sex is what people do when they love each other!” “WHEN they’re ready!” I barked.

  Why in the hell was I even arguing with this moron? “Oh and you’re going to be ‘ready’ with some band guy?”

  he said snidely.

  “Damn right, I plan on banging half of Hollywood before

  my 17th birthday,” I said raising my eyebrow.

  Even I was shocked those words came out of my mouth. It

  was a pretty bold statement considering I was still a full-fledged

  virgin, but I only said it in the hopes that it would hurt him. “You’re not worthy to wear a cross you fucking whore!” he

  yelled as he tore off my necklace and threw it across the parking

  lot.

  I ran in the direction of the cross’s flight pattern and could

  feel the back of my neck burning from where the necklace had

  torn across my skin. He followed me as I looked between cars

  for my cross.

  “You fucking asshole! I can’t believe you broke my

  necklace!” I yelled.

  “Your Hollywood outings are just a phase you little bitch,

  and I might not be here when you’re over it. Just think about

  that.”

  “Good! Then start right now by getting the fuck out of

  here!”

  He gave me a cocky smile and walked off. Stupid asshole. In the weeks that followed, I continued to split my time

  between hanging out with the Alhambra crowd and going to

  Hollywood. Ronan continued to pursue me, so I avoided

  answering the phone all together, which was completely

  abnormal behavior for a 16-year-old girl. I had my parents

  screen my calls and told them that anytime Ronan called, to say I

  wasn’t home. Obviously they were suspicious, so I downplayed

  the situation. I simply told them we were fighting and that I

  needed space. I wanted to handle the Ronan problem on my

  own and wasn’t about to tell them what was really going on. I

  kept hoping at some point he would just give up and stop calling

  me. But on a random Saturday afternoon, I was home alone

  watching TV when the phone rang and I answered it without

  thinking. Just my fucking luck it was Ronan.

  He immediately started bitching as to why I hadn’t returned

  any of his calls and called me every name in the book. I just

  couldn’t take it anymore, so I unleashed a venomous tonguelashing on him like I had never done before.

  I told him he was a stupid, worthless loser for the way he

  treated me throughout the course of our relationship and that I

  didn’t love him anymore. I said he was an ugly motherfucker

  inside and out and that’s why his family didn’t give a shit about

  him. I also said a prayer, thanking god that I had the good sense

  to not lose my virginity to a piece of shit like him. I hung up on

  him in the middle of his rebuttal, and a half hour later he was

  pounding on my front door. Completely pissed off that he had

  the nerve to show up at my house, I flung open my front door. “What the hell do you want!” I yelled.

  He lifted his bloody forearm, which ha
d my name carved into it and yelled, “See what you made me do!”

  “Are you FUCKING crazy? What the hell is wrong with you!”

  “I just want to talk to you!” he pleaded.

  “Fine! We'll talk tomorrow! Now get out of here before my parents get home!”

  I slammed the door in his face, ran to my bedroom and shut the door behind me even though nobody else was in the house. Thank god my parents weren’t home. The blood running down Ronan’s arm made it blatantly clear that things had been taken to a whole other level. This wasn’t some bad 90210 episode anymore. It was most definitely some fucked up shit that I was going to have to contend with. I just didn’t know how.

  When I woke the next morning, I kept thinking about what Ronan did to his arm and realized he was a certified crackpot. There was no way in HELL I planned on seeing him that day or any other day. I only told him that to make him go away. Besides, I already had plans that afternoon to borrow Lucy’s car and go to the beach with Alex and Ron. A day of relaxation on the beach was exactly what I needed, and it didn’t hurt that I had Alex as eye candy either.

  At the end of our leisurely beach day, I drove us back to Ron’s so we could clean up before heading out to dinner. I called my mom to see if I had any messages. She told me Ronan had called three times. I could hear the concern in her voice and I was pissed. Not at my mom for caring, but at Ronan. I didn’t want my family involved and him repeatedly calling the house like a damn psycho was making it harder for me keep that whole mess under wraps. I had no other choice but to call his stupid ass and tell him to stop harassing my mom.

  Alex and Ron were chatting in the background when I called Ronan at his aunt’s house. He immediately asked where I was and I told him to not worry about it. I played it off like I forgot we were supposed to meet up and to stop making a big deal over nothing.

  “Hey Marisa, you ready to go?” Ron yelled out to me.

  “You’re at Ron’s aren’t you?” Ronan asked.

  “No, I’m at my cousins house in Covina,” I said lying through my teeth.

  Ronan immediately hung up.

  SHIT.

  The only thing separating Ronan’s aunt’s house and Ron’s apartment was a ten-minute walk across a freeway overpass. Alex and Ron asked if everything was okay. I lied and said it was. I hadn't told anyone about the things Ronan was doing, so I played it cool and tried to rush the guys out of the apartment as calmly and quickly as possible.

  We walked to Lucy’s car, and I was relieved to find no signs of Ronan anywhere. We hopped into her car, and I rolled my window down because it was a bit stuffy from the warm summer day. I turned on the engine, then the lights, and that’s when I saw Ronan running towards the front of the car. I quickly locked my door and tried to crank up the window as quickly as I could. I only got it about ¾ of the way closed before Ronan was able to reach his arm in the driver’s side window. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and started slamming my head against the window. Ron and Alex immediately hopped out and pushed Ronan away from the car, releasing the lock on my poor aching head.

  “She was supposed to be out with me today! She lied to me!” Ronan yelled.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you! Get outta here!” Alex yelled as he gave Ronan a hard shove. I sat trembling in the drivers seat while they argued with Ronan and finally got him to go away. Ron asked if I was okay and told me to get out of the car. Alex moved my hair around to make sure my head wasn’t cut. I said I was fine. I told them I wasn't hungry anymore, but they didn't want me driving home in that frazzled state. Not taking no for an answer, we hopped into Alex’s car, and they treated me to dinner at a Mexican restaurant just off Fremont Avenue in Alhambra.

  Since Alex and Ron had just witnessed Ronan’s psychosis, it was pointless in trying to downplay the situation. So as they stuffed me with delicious Mexican food, I told them everything that had been happening over the last few weeks. They consoled me and said if he ever bothered me again to let them know. I thought it was sweet of them, but to be honest I was incredibly embarrassed over the entire situation and didn't want to get anyone else involved. I felt the entire mess with Ronan was something I had to clean up on my own.

  When we got back to Ron’s, the boys walked me to Lucy’s car and made sure I drove off safely without another ambush from Ronan. When I drove home that night, I didn't turn on the radio or listen to any music. There was nothing I felt like listening to because I was still reeling from what happened earlier. Instead, I listened to the sound of the summer wind hit the car windows.

  A few minutes into my drive, I heard faint jangling, like the sound of bracelets. I took a quick glance into my backseat and saw nothing. I looked at the radio and it was definitely off. The jangling stopped.

  A few minutes later, the jangling started back up. Again, I looked into my backseat, still nothing. I looked in the side mirrors to see if maybe something was caught on the sides of the car, but there was nothing. The jangling stopped.

  The jangling started again. This time when I looked into my rearview mirror, I saw Ronan slowly crawling out from the trunk of the car and into the backseat like a slithering snake. I quickly pulled over, grabbed the keys, and ran out of the car across a residential street.

  “Oh my god! Get the fuck away from me you psycho!” I yelled as he climbed out of the car.

  “Stop yelling, I'm not gonna hurt you,” he said.

  “How the hell did you get in there?” I said yelling rather than asking.

  “You left the doors unlocked.”

  Yeah, right.

  “Why can’t you just leave me the alone?” I said starting to hyperventilate.

  “Why do you keep avoiding me? Why won’t you just talk to me?”

  “Because you’re an asshole who never loved me and you’ve treated me like shit since the day I met you!”

  “But I do love you!”

  “Bullshit! Now that you can’t control me anymore you can’t stand it!”

  “Fine. Tell me you don't love me anymore and I'll leave you alone.”

  “I don't love you anymore,” I said without hesitation. “Now get the fuck away from the car! Completely away, across the street!”

  It was as if we were in one of those old western movies, staring each other down and waiting for the other to draw. He slowly started to walk back, across the residential street. As he took steps back, I took steps forward. He finally reached the curb where he sat down, put his head in his hands and started to sob.

  I contemplated for a moment, wondering if maybe I was being a cold-hearted bitch because I honestly felt no sympathy for Ronan as he sat there crying. But I quickly came to my senses and thought, fuck him. He was getting just a pinch of what he had put me through over the last year and a half. I quickly got back in Lucy’s car, locked the doors and sped off, leaving him still blubbering in the street.

  Almost a week had passed since the incident at Ron’s, and there were no signs of Ronan what so ever. No phone calls, no notes on my car at school. But after all the bullshit he pulled, I didn’t believe for one second that he had given up. I was under a tremendous amount of anxiety during that time because I never knew when or where he was going to pop up.

  When the weekend arrived, Sasha and Dagmar picked me up so we could go to The Strip as usual. We started our socializing along the boulevard and immediately ran into Mick from Ana Black just outside The Roxy. We had been chatting with him for a few minutes when I noticed Ronan walk out of The Rainbow. I was in total shock because Ronan never hung out on The Strip, not even when we went to Taz shows.

  Based on his behavior at Ron’s, it was obvious he had no problem causing a scene in front of people, and I was worried what he might do. It was unfortunate that some of my Alhambra friends had to witness one of his crazy episodes, but none of my Hollywood friends knew anything about my problems with Ronan. I was also still dating Sheldon, so I certainly wasn’t about to tell him what was going on and scare him away. I immediately told Mic
k we had to go. I grabbed the girls, told them what was happening and we scurried away.

  Just my luck, Ronan caught up to us and started in with this bullshit. To make matters worse, I spotted Sheldon just off in the distance. He waved as he made his way in our direction. Running away wasn’t an option because that would’ve set Ronan on fire, and I didn’t need him chasing me down Sunset Boulevard like a lunatic.

  Sheldon walked up, completely oblivious to the situation and gave me a big hug.

  “Hey honey bunny,” he said.

  “Who the hell is this?” Ronan said looking at me.

  “Hey dude, just kickback,” Sheldon said mildly defensive.

  “What’s it to you? Are you with her?” Ronan asked.

  “Look stalker, nobody wants you here. Why don’t you just go away,” Sasha said.

  “Yeah, seriously. What the hell is your problem?” Dagmar added.

  The four of us stood there, staring at Ronan. He said nothing and suddenly ran away. I completely downplayed the situation to Sheldon and told him Ronan was just an idiot I briefly dated. He looked a bit concerned for obvious reasons, but I told him everything was cool and quickly changed the subject. We continued on our way down The Strip and ran into Sheldon’s roadie, Alan. We hung out with them sporadically throughout the night, and luckily, Sheldon didn’t bring up what happened with Ronan for the rest of the evening.

  When Sasha took me home that night, I was running late for curfew as always. Since she was driving her moms old clunker, I had her drop me off a few houses away so the car wouldn’t wake anyone in my house while I tried to sneak in. As Sasha drove off, I noticed Ronan’s mom’s car parked about three or four houses past my house. He saw me, got out of his car and quickly started to walk towards me. I picked up my pace as well. My heart was racing as I fumbled to open the gate to my driveway. Once I got the damn thing open, I had only taken a few steps in when Ronan grabbed me. I wanted to scream but controlled myself since I didn’t want to wake up my parents.

  “Get the fuck out of here before I call the cops!” I whispered angrily.