As I watched the show, I brainstormed on ways to sober up and how I could sneak back into my house quietly without crashing into everything on the way in. When Blackboard finished their set, it snapped me out of my trance. I had no sense of time and didn't know how long I’d been standing there for. I stumbled over to the bar area, ordered a cup of Coke and made my way back through the crowd to find Sebastian. Luckily, everyone was still where I’d left them, right by the front entrance.
Sebastian was throwing back the last shot of Jim Beam when I walked up to him. He said they were going back to his place for more drinks and asked if I wanted to go. I really wanted to hang out with him, but I simply couldn’t do any more drinking. I politely declined and said I needed to get Hannah and myself home.
As we all got up and stumbled out of The Church, I looked back in the hopes I would catch another glimpse of Brent, but the crowd was thick with people. I was also way too dizzy to focus on trying to pick him out of the crowd. Okay maybe it was shitty that I was drooling over Brent when I went there to meet Sebastian, but it technically wasn’t a date anyway. Besides, I had a longstanding crush on Brent, and I knew he was totally unattainable anyway, at least in my world. I learned that the hard way when I met him with Faye a few months earlier. The only person that could trump Brent would be Nikki Sixx, of whom my teenage loins still ached for.
Sebastian walked Hannah and I to Lucy’s car. I thought he might try to kiss me, but he didn’t. Maybe it was my braces that turned him off? I was getting them off in a few short months, so that wouldn’t be an issue much longer. He asked if we could hang out sometime, pulled a Kids flyer from his pocket, and asked me to write down my number. I didn’t have anything to write with, so he said to call the band hotline when I got home and leave my number on their machine. He gave me a big hug goodbye and stumbled off into the night.
Hannah plopped herself into the passengers seat of Lucy’s car and passed out within a matter of seconds. I had hoped she would be my wingman and help me focus as we drove home, but so much for that. I sat in the car sucking down the last sips of Coke. I let out a big burp and looked over to Hannah who was still happily passed out. I shook her a few times to wake her up, but she didn’t even twitch. She just laid there like a beached seal on a rock.
Pounding that Coke reminded me that I had never gone to the bathroom earlier. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it home without peeing first, and I really needed my focus to be on driving and not bladder pain. We weren’t in the greatest area, and I didn’t want to leave Hannah passed out in the car by herself while I ran back to find a bathroom. So I grabbed some Kleenex from the glove compartment, squatted on the curb in front of Lucy’s car, and let the golden showers rain down on Satsuma Avenue.
After I dropped off Hannah, I was so completely exhausted that I considered just driving right into my driveway. I was going to get in trouble for breaking the passengers side mirror anyway. Strangely though, I had a moment of clarity in my drunken stupor. I realized that getting caught drunk driving AND stealing Lucy’s car, in addition to the broken mirror could have me permanently banned from borrowing her car or my mom’s car ever again. Needless to say, I decided against that idea and went with my original plan of sneaking the car and myself back to the house.
When I approached my house, I gave the car just enough gas to give it a running start. Then I shut off the lights, the engine and let the car slowly coast up the driveway. I gently closed the driver’s side door, jogged up to my porch, and slowly turned the knob to let myself in the front door.
Being drunk, I had momentarily forgotten about the landmines in my living room. Each time I stepped on one, I would whisper for it to “shush” as if that would help. I finally made it to my room and collapsed face first onto my bed. I suddenly remembered I needed to call and leave my number on The Kids hotline, so I quickly did that and put my face back into my pillow. I had just started to doze off when the neon phone began to light up my room. I wanted nothing more than to sleep, but I thought it might be Sebastian.
“Yeah,” I said mumbling into the phone with my eyes still closed.
“Hey baby how are you? It’s been a while!” Charlie said all bright eyed and bushy tailed.
I was immediately annoyed.
“I’m drunk. That’s how I am,” I said and hung up on him.
I plucked the phone cord out of my wall and passed out with my clothes and shoes on.
I woke up shortly before noon the next day. My mouth felt like I had been chewing on a bag of cotton. I was dehydrated, nauseous, and still a little bit drunk. Apparently, I was experiencing my first real hangover.
I needed water and had to pee, but I was too lazy to get up and do either. I stayed in bed for about a half hour and hoped I would just fall back asleep, but my bladder wasn’t having it. I heard my mom and Lucy talking in our living room, so I got up and braced myself for the shit storm to hit.
I opened my bedroom door and went to the bathroom. Then I walked into the living room and cautiously sat down while my mom made small talk with Lucy. They included me in their conversation but didn’t mention anything about me sneaking in or out of the house the night before. Maybe they didn’t know I stole Lucy’s car and I’d gotten away with it? Even if I were that lucky, there was no getting around the broken rearview mirror.
“Um…so I came out of the club last night and noticed the rearview mirror on the passengers side was broken. I didn’t want to wake you when I came in,” I said lying through my teeth.
Lucy was pissed but relented when she saw how bad I felt, and I really did feel bad about it. I offered to pay for the repairs, and luckily, this was my first offense in terms of doing damage to her car. I waited for her to say something about me stealing her car, but she didn’t say a word about it. I had a feeling I might have gotten away with it because it’s not something she would’ve hesitated on confronting me about. But I still walked on eggshells for the rest of the day.
By the time dinner rolled around, Lucy still hadn’t mentioned anything about me taking her car, and that’s when I knew I was home free. I was glad that ordeal was over with, but I was certainly far from feeling better, at least on a physical level. I was still very hung over, and the moment I tried to eat a salad it all came up faster than I could run to the bathroom.
After hanging out at The Church together, Sebastian and I began talking on a regular basis. I was excited to see where things would go with him until I suddenly remembered I still had Charlie to contend with.
I’d hung out with Charlie a handful of times, but nothing had progressed in terms of our relationship, and I use that term very loosely. I hadn’t slept with him and had no plans to. We hadn’t even got past first base. I was never into Charlie because when it came down to it, we didn’t have very much in common. He was into Rush who I hated, and I loved Mötley Crüe who he hated. I honestly don’t even know how or why we transitioned from being platonic friends to make out buddies in the first place, but I guess not being in your right mind is what rebound mode is all about.
I know I’m a bitch for saying this, but the main thing that irked me about Charlie was that he was way too nice, an absolute doormat. I certainly didn’t want to date another asshole; god knows I had my share of those. But I wanted a guy who would call me out on my shit when I was wrong. Someone who would open my mind to try different things and go to places I never would’ve even considered going before. But Charlie never had opposing opinions or suggestions on anything. We’d go anywhere I wanted to go, do whatever I wanted to do, eat whatever I wanted to eat. He never challenged me what so ever. He was an absolute, total weenie, and it got on my last nerve. I really needed to get out of that situation, but I didn’t know how to without hurting his feelings.
The first thing I did was stop returning his calls, but then I felt bad because he would leave concerned messages on my answering machine, wondering why I wasn’t calling him back and ask if I was okay. So I’d return a call here and there, then
cut him off after a few minutes saying I had to go. When he’d ask to hang out, I’d always say I was busy. I figured he would get the hint and leave me alone at some point, but he didn’t. I tried a different approach.
I told him I was having problems at home, which was a total lie and that I needed space to figure things out. He immediately went into counselor mode and kept pressuring me to open up to him about my problems. Great.
Sure these were all cowardly approaches in dealing with the situation. I know I was a dick for not being upfront with him, but I felt it was better than telling him he was a rebound. To make matters worse, Valentines Day was coming up. He left a message on my machine saying he really wanted us to spend it together. UGH. That was the LAST thing I wanted to do.
Shortly before Valentines Day, Sebastian invited me to his show at a club called English Acid. Other bands on the bill were Fizzy Bangers, The Ultra’s, and Bam’s band, The Hatebreeders. I wasn’t able to borrow Lucy’s car that night, and my dad was using his truck. Hannah’s car was in the shop, and the only other option was my moms station wagon or as I called it, the “pickle wagon”.
The pickle wagon was a burgundy colored, 1980 Dodge Aspen, aka Titanic on wheels. I really didn’t want to be caught rolling that hovercraft into Hollywood, but I didn’t have a choice. So the night of the show, I picked up Hannah, and we putt putted our way out to English Acid.
Fizzy Bangers were about to go on when I walked into the club with Hannah. I looked around and noticed black lights spread throughout the club. Even the bathroom only had a single red light bulb to illuminate the small restroom. I figured it was pointless to try and touch up my makeup since I couldn’t see a damn thing anyway.
Hannah and I stood near the back of the club and took a glance at who was hanging out. A few guys from The Glamour Punks were there. I also noticed Jezebel, one of many girls who had been fooling around with Sheldon while we were together. She was dancing right in front of the stage, wasted off her ass.
Fizzy Bangers finished their set and The Hatebreeders went on next. Sebastian and his friend Chuck, who played bass in Fizzy Bangers, came over to talk to us. Chuck was Mexican and had been teaching Sebastian random Spanish words like “pelo” (hair), and “pendejo” (stupid). They each had Corona’s in their hands and referred to them as “Coron nee nee NEE TAS!” in a squeaky voice. Somehow we got on the subject of Disneyland and made a plan for the four of us to go over the next few weeks.
Once The Hatebreeders finished their set, The Kids were up next. Sebastian ran off to start setting up while I walked to the bar with Hannah to buy us a few drinks. It had been well over a year since I last saw The Kids play, so I wasn’t familiar with any of their songs. But I quickly became a fan as I watched Sebastian pace the stage and sing with a raw intensity similar to Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails.
When The Kids finished their set, Sebastian walked over and gave me a big sweaty hug. He said a few people were going back to The Glamour Punks apartment for drinks after the show and to go over there. He didn’t know the address though. He only mentioned it was on Detroit, just north of Sunset and described what the building looked like. I told him I would meet him there and bolted out of the club with Hannah because I didn’t want to give him the option of riding in that awful pickle wagon.
Hannah and I got caught up talking to a few people outside. By the time I was pulling out of the parking lot, Sebastian was already walking out with Mandie and Chuck. Hannah immediately ducked down and tried to hide. My first reaction was to do the same, but it would’ve looked pretty ridiculous for them to see a station wagon driving itself.
Sebastian immediately saw me and made his way towards me while Hannah tried to stuff herself in the glove compartment. At that point, I figured to hell with it. It’s not like I expected him to be rolling out of the parking lot in a Bentley either. So I laid back in the pickle wagon as if it were a low rider and smiled.
“Don’t flake out, you better go!” Sebastian said. “I promise we’re going. I’m heading there now,” I said. Sebastian walked off with the guys, and Hannah mentioned
she was starving. I was hungry too, so we decided to grab some food before heading over to Sebastian’s. We stopped at a nearby Del Taco, and the stupid pickle wagon began to overheat as it idled in the drive-thru. I didn’t want to be stuck in Hollywood if the car broke down and decided it was best if we just go home. I was obviously more pissed about it than Hannah because this was the 2nd time I had to bail on hanging out with Sebastian.
A few days later, it was Valentines Day. I would’ve preferred to do something with Sebastian, but we had only been talking for a few weeks. I felt if we had our first official date on Valentines Day, it might be too much pressure. Instead, I ended up getting a call from Charlie in the afternoon. He left a message saying he wanted to take me to dinner and a movie. I didn’t call him back.
I also got a surprise phone call from Sheldon, asking if he could take me out to lunch. We hadn’t seen each other since that day at Sizzler when we called it quits months earlier. We’d only spoken a handful of times since then. Although most of our talks were vapid conversations, they were still friendly. Since things seemed to be cool with Sheldon, I figured why not. Who was I to turn down a free lunch?
I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. We ended up having a few drinks with lunch, and the next thing I know, we’re back at his place hooking up. After it was over, he told me he still loved me. I told him I forgot I had plans with Hannah and got the hell out of there.
When I got home, I immediately called Faye. I told her about the huge mistake I had just made and how I needed to add Sheldon to the list of guys whose calls I had to avoid.
A few weeks later, The Kids and Fizzy Bangers had another show together at The Whisky for Monday nights No Bozo Jam. Sebastian invited me to go, so I dragged Hannah with me. Faye also called that night, asking for a lift to Hollywood to see a band called Swingin Thing who were playing The Roxy. She offered gas money to pick her up and said she would find a ride home later. Hannah was driving and wanted the extra cash, so we picked up Faye and made our way out to Hollywood.
When we got to The Strip, Faye scampered off to The Roxy while Hannah and I walked to The Whisky. Fizzy Bangers were about to go on and the floor was a bit packed, so we decided to head upstairs for a drink and watch the show from there.
I followed Hannah upstairs, and we had almost reached the top when I spotted Charlie at the bar. We quickly turned on our heels, barreled down the stairs, and hid underneath the staircase. Sebastian found me a few minutes later and gave me the address to his place. He said he was having a few people over after the show and if I didn’t see him after his set, to just head over there.
I managed to avoid Charlie by continuing to hide under the staircase like a troll. The moment The Kids finished, Hannah and I bolted out the door. We made a pit stop to get some food and went over to Sebastian’s on Martel, just north of Sunset. Hannah buzzed the apartment. To my surprise, Sebastian answered the intercom. I couldn’t believe he had beaten us there.
“Who is it!” Sebastian yelled.
“Hannah and Marisa,” Hannah said.
“I wanna hear Marisa!”
“I’m here Sebastian,” I said.
He buzzed us in, and we made our way up to his
apartment. When we got out of the elevator, a random guy and his friends tried walking in before we could even walk out. “Are you guys going to the party at Sebastian’s?” one of them asked me.
“Yeah, why?” I asked as we got out of the elevator. “Don’t bother. Mandie is slamming the door in peoples
faces and not letting anyone in.” The elevator doors closed, and I heard a door slam from down the hallway. A few seconds later, another small group of people were passing us and heading towards the elevator.
Hannah and I looked at each other as we cautiously walked down the hallway to Sebastian’s. I knocked on the front door, and a voice yelled, “WHO IS IT!” fr
om behind the door.
“IT’S MARISA!” I yelled back.
“Sebastian, it’s Marisa!” the voice yelled behind the door. A few moments later, the door opened. Sebastian let us in,
and I asked what the heightened security was all about. He said they didn’t want random people in the apartment, so he was having Mandie turn people away.
When I walked into the apartment, Mandie, Dizzy, and Skitz, one of the guitarists from The Glamour Punks, were there along with Jezebel, Bam, and Chuck. There were also a few other people I wasn’t familiar with. I also noticed a girl named Harley, who I’d met earlier in the night at The Whisky. She was super skinny with stringy red hair and beady blue eyes that she outlined in charcoal grey eyeliner. There was something about the way she stared at Sebastian that made me very uncomfortable. Her eyes would follow his every movement as if she were a doctor observing some type of specimen. Casey was also there. When she saw Sebastian put his arm around me, she shot me the dirtiest look. I thought she had a lot of nerve shooting ME looks considering she had been screwing around with Sheldon the entire time we were together. So I glared back at her with a smile as I put my arm around Sebastian and continued making my way into the apartment.
Before I get ahead of myself though, let me first explain where Sebastian lived. Technically, it wasn't really his apartment. It belonged to a stripper named Angela. Sebastian’s living quarters consisted of a makeshift bedroom he created by using a black tarp to section off a small corner of the living room, which contained the only balcony. The space behind the tarp was just wide enough to fit a small twin bed, a stereo, and a few of his other belongings. He had also just put up Christmas lights along the small portion of wall he had and proudly showed them off as if he had just redecorated a room in a mansion.
Rock and Roll High School: Growing Up in Hollywood During the Decade of Decadence Page 19