by Cynthia Eden
He wouldn’t know. The only thing that had ever been good for his soul...well, that was Jill. She’d changed him, though he didn’t think she realized just how much. He didn’t think Jill even realized how influential she’d been in his life.
She’d always thought that he’d saved her.
Oh, baby, that could not be further from the truth.
She slipped by him and started walking toward the parking lot.
“Jillian West.” Her name pulled from him.
She hesitated.
“We’re not kids any longer.”
Jill glanced over her shoulder. “I haven’t been a child since I was thirteen years old.”
No, she hadn’t been. He knew that. One terrible act had changed her world.
“I came back to Hope for many reasons,” Hayden said. Maybe she deserved that warning. “I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”
“So soon? Why expect to see me at all?”
Ah, now that was just cold. “Do you ever think about us?”
She faced the front again. “I try not to.”
He took that hit straight on his heart. “Really? Because I pretty much think about you every single day.” Though the nights were the worst. When he’d been fighting, when he’d been in one hell after another, memories of Jill had always come to him at night.
But a memory wasn’t walking away from him right then. No memory, no ghost.
He’d watched her walk away before, but this time, things were going to be different. This time, he was fighting for Jill.
She just didn’t realize it yet.
He wasn’t the town troublemaker any longer. Wasn’t the boy who’d never been good enough for Jillian West. Now he was back in Hope to prove himself to the person who mattered the most.
To you, Jill. For you. I’m back for you.
* * *
HE’D NEVER BELIEVED in coincidences. His life didn’t work that way. Everything that happened was part of fate.
So when he saw the redheaded woman walking off the pier, the light glinting in her hair, the sunset hitting her just right...
He remembered another time.
A girl, not a woman. A girl who’d been walking alone. Who’d been coming right to him.
He’d had such plans for that girl. So many grand, wonderful plans.
But she’d left him. Ran away. Escaped before he could enjoy himself. Such a shame. In all of his years of hunting, she’d been the only one to escape.
His one failure. The failure that had changed everything for him.
* * *
THE REDHEADED WOMAN was coming closer to him, nearing the parking lot, so he cranked up his Jeep and drove away. As he left, he saw two young girls riding their bikes. So many kids enjoyed riding their bike in that area. There were many trails. Tons of paths.
So many places to vanish.
One of the girls had blond hair. The other had dark brown locks.
Pity one of them doesn’t have red hair. Because, quite suddenly, he was seeing red in his mind. The red hair of a victim.
The red of blood.
He hadn’t planned to ever hunt again in Hope. But...seeing that redheaded woman...
There are no coincidences. Maybe she was there, at that time, for a reason.
Maybe...
Chapter Two
She had a serious problem on her hands, Jill knew it. She was on Day Two of her vacation—Day Two—and she was heading toward the local sheriff’s office. She should have been walking on a beach, riding a bike, reading a book, something...anything but...
Anything but looking for a case. She had so many issues. The plan had been to head home to Hope in order to relax, to get her mind off death.
Instead, she couldn’t stop thinking about the missing.
She pushed open the door to the sheriff’s office. A bell jingled over her head. It was quiet inside, she heard the hum of an air conditioner, the ticking of a clock and—
“Hello, there, Jill. Didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”
His voice. Dark and deep and rumbly. Jill had often thought that Hayden Black had a voice like whiskey—it just got better with age.
Sexier.
Her gaze slid to the right and she saw him. Hayden was smiling at her, that teasing half smile that too many women had admired. His dark eyes glinted at her as he stood in the doorway—the doorway that led directly into Sheriff Ronald Peek’s inner sanctum. Only...
She didn’t see Sheriff Peek. The big, rather bearlike older man was nowhere to be seen.
She did see Hayden...and his brown sheriff’s uniform. The guy even had a gleaming, gold star pinned to his chest. No way. “You have got to be kidding me.” Jill glanced around the little station again. No one else was there. Seriously?
“Kidding?” Hayden straightened. “Why? Don’t you think I look good in this uniform?”
Her lips thinned. Good didn’t even come close to describing the man and he knew it. Hayden’s shoulders stretched far and wide, making the uniform shirt strain at the seams. He was tall and powerful, and he should not have been standing there.
Mostly because she wasn’t quite up to handling Hayden. He’d always been able to see right through the mask that she tried to wear in order to hide her emotions. Considering how hollowed out she felt on the inside, the last thing Jill wanted was for Hayden to glimpse her weakness. She cleared her throat. “I’m here to see Sheriff Peek.”
He winced and straightened away from the doorway. “Good luck with that, sweetheart—er, I mean, Jill.”
She glowered at him.
“Peek retired about a month ago. Took off for Alaska. Apparently, facing the last great American frontier has always been a dream for him.” Hayden’s lips twitched. “And, it, uh, seems he’d been watching a lot of TV about building a cabin in the Alaskan wilderness. The call of the wild definitely got to old Ron.” Hayden rolled back his shoulders. “You’re looking at the new sheriff.”
She shook her head.
He nodded. “Sheriff Hayden Black, at your service.”
“You...you can’t be sheriff. Was there a vote or—”
“Special appointment,” he murmured. “Ron gave me his highest recommendation, and, believe it or not, the folks in this town seemed happy to have me take the job.”
Jill’s breath heaved out. “Of course, they’re happy to have you. I have no doubt that you’ll be an asset here.”
Surprise flashed on his face.
“What?” Now her lips pulled down. “You think because of our, uh, past, that I wouldn’t support you? You’re a good man, Hayden.” And maybe she’d gotten a few glimpses of his case files from his overseas work. Some days, she’d wondered about him. She’d worried. When she’d first read his mission files and seen just how dangerous his SEAL work was, Jill had been terrified.
Knowing that he wasn’t hers any longer...she’d tried to keep her emotional distance. That had been impossible.
He took a step toward her. “You know folks in this town didn’t always think that way. I had to prove—”
She held up her hand. “Stop it, Hayden. You never had to prove anything to me. I hope you know that.”
His mouth tightened.
The bell jingled behind her. Jill looked back and saw a young deputy saunter inside the station. He had black hair and blue eyes and when he saw her, he came to a quick stop—and he tightened his grip on the doughnut bag in his hand. “Uh, a visitor? A case?” His eyes seemed to light up. “Ma’am, do you need assistance?” He hurried toward the check-in desk and plunked down his bag. “I’m Deputy Finn Patrick, and I can—”
“She’s not here for business, Finn,” Hayden muttered. “It’s personal.”
A tingle snaked up Jill’s spine
. Personal. Once upon a time, things had been very, very personal between them. When she looked at Hayden, the memories slid through her mind. She figured all of the stories she’d heard over the years were true—a woman never forgot her first love.
Especially when that love happened to be a guy like Hayden Black.
But now Finn was looking at her with speculation in his eyes. Hope was a small town—very, very small. And the last thing she wanted was for gossip to start spreading about her hooking up with the new sheriff. Jill reached into her bag and pulled out her ID. “Actually, I’m here to talk about an old case.”
Finn’s eyes doubled in size. “You’re FBI!”
“Yes.”
Finn appeared absolutely thrilled.
“What case?” Hayden asked, his voice a low growl. “When I saw you yesterday, you didn’t mention a case.”
“And you didn’t mention that you were the sheriff, either.”
Hayden sauntered closer. He leaned in and said, voice soft, “That’s because you ran before I had the chance to tell you.”
She wanted to tell him that she didn’t run—not from anything or anyone, but those words would have been a lie. After all, wasn’t she in Hope because she was running? From all the death that seemed to stalk her? She stared into his eyes and said the name that she knew haunted them both, “Christy Anderson.”
His jaw tightened.
“Christy who?” Finn asked.
Hayden curled his fingers around her arm. “FBI special agent Jillian West and I will be talking in my office, Finn.” His voice had gone flat and cold as he steered her toward the open doorway.
“It was nice to meet you, Agent West!” Finn called out.
She glanced back and saw that he’d opened his bag of doughnuts. The scent of glaze drifted to her, but then she was inside of Hayden’s office, and he shut the door with a very distinct click.
“What in the hell are you planning?” Hayden asked her.
She pulled her arm from his grip. “I’m planning on solving a cold case.” Because maybe that case was one of the many demons that plagued her. Maybe if she could solve that case...maybe if she could give the family some closure...then every time she lost a victim with the FBI, she wouldn’t feel so lost inside.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
“Did the FBI send you down here to research Christy Anderson’s case?”
“No, I came down here because I knew it was time to face my own past. You can only hide from the truth for so long.” Her smile felt bittersweet. “After all, you and I both know...we traded my life for Christy’s.”
He swore and advanced toward her.
Jill threw up her hands. “Don’t! I don’t want you touching me, okay, Hayden?”
He flinched, as if she’d hurt him, and Jill realized that she had. Right. Like he never hurt me. One night...ten years ago...he’d ripped her heart right out of her chest.
A woman could do a whole lot in this world without a heart.
“You used to like it when I touched you,” Hayden said.
Oh, no, he had not just gone there. Jill’s hands went to her hips. “And you used to not be a jerk who turned his back on the one person he swore mattered the most to him—”
Pain flashed on his face. “Jill—”
“No!” She squeezed her eyes shut. “This isn’t what I want.” It wasn’t. And she wasn’t just hurting Hayden. She was hurting herself. Jill forced her eyes to open. “I’m sorry.” Time to be incredibly honest. “I didn’t count on seeing you again.” Actually, she’d been sure he was an ocean away. So much for her contact at the CIA. Mr. Oh, Yes, I Know Where His SEAL Team Is. “I wasn’t prepared for you, and I’m...” Her laughter held a rough edge. “I was already raw enough before I came to Hope.”
“Believe me, Jill. The last thing I ever want is to hurt you.”
He seemed so sincere. She wanted to believe him. “Maybe we can call a truce?”
His gaze drifted over her and turned wistful. “I didn’t realize we were at war.”
No? “I could use a friend right now.” A stark admission. “I’ve... I’ve always thought you were my best friend.” And that was why it had hurt her so much when he’d walked away. She hadn’t just lost her lover. She’d lost her friend.
Did he have any clue...she’d used to imagine their wedding? She’d thought they would grow old together. That they would always be an unstoppable team. Because that was how she’d felt when they were together. Unstoppable.
Safe.
She’d always been safe with Hayden. Then he’d ripped away her safety net.
“I will be anything you want me to be,” Hayden promised, his voice a rumble.
Her stare lifted, held his. Did he know why she’d asked him not to touch her? Did he realize just what his touch did to her? Even the careless brush of his fingers over her arm had her tensing. His touch stirred her memories, stirred her. Her heartbeat raced, her breath hitched, and she ached...
For things that she couldn’t have.
“Right now, I need you to be the sheriff who is cooperating with an FBI agent.” Though she had zero jurisdiction. She wasn’t going to point out that fact, though. “I’m in town, you have a cold case, and I want to see if there’s anything I can do to help solve it.”
The faint lines on either side of his mouth deepened. Time had been kind to Hayden. Gone were the boyish looks he’d had years ago. Now, his face was ruggedly handsome, carved and hard.
Sexy.
Especially when he smiled. Hayden didn’t have dimples, definitely not. But he did have hard slashes that appeared in his cheeks when he let himself really smile. Once upon a time, his real smiles had been reserved for her.
A lifetime ago.
“Christy Anderson has been dead a long time, Jill,” he spoke carefully.
“I know exactly how long Christy’s been dead.” She paced toward the window and looked out. She figured this had to be the only sheriff’s office in the country with a view of the ocean. Talk about a prime spot. And, most days, it was a plum job, too. There wasn’t a whole lot of crime in Hope. The occasional bar fight, some drunk and disorderly conduct...nothing too bad.
The last bad thing...well, that had happened to Jill. And to Christy. Because one day—one day—after Hayden and Jill escaped from that little cabin on the edge of the marsh, Christy Anderson had gone missing. Only no one had been there to follow the girl when she was abducted. No one had been there to get her out of that sick jerk’s clutches.
And...less than twenty hours later, Christy’s body had been found on the beach. She’d been found completely dry, covered with a blanket. She’d never touched the water.
Her neck had been broken. Left behind in the dark.
I lived, but she died. And that truth would never leave Jill alone.
“I want to find the man who killed her,” Jill said, nodding her head as she stared out at the waves. Last night’s storm lingered on the surf. “Because if I find him...”
“You’ll find the man who took you.”
Yes. And she’d stop always looking over her shoulder, always wondering... Is he watching? Is he coming back? An FBI agent was supposed to be confident, supposed to fear nothing and no one, but Jill feared far too much.
“You of all people know...” The floor creaked beneath his heavy footsteps. “The odds of finding him—after all this time—it’s going to be nearly impossible.”
She rolled her shoulders back in a shrug. “So maybe I’ll dig into the files. Maybe I’ll spend a few days of vacation searching for evidence that won’t lead anywhere. It’s my time to waste.”
He was behind her. She could feel him. Jill made herself look back. “I need this, Hayden.”
He nodded once, grimly. His hand lifted as if he’d to
uch her cheek, but then his fingers curled closed as he seemed to catch himself. His fisted hand fell back to his side. “Jill, when are you going to realize that I’d pretty much do anything for you?”
Shock radiated through her. He stalked toward the wide, cherrywood desk that sat in the middle of the office. He pushed the chair back and opened the top drawer. A moment later, he was lifting a yellowed file and offering it to her. “Not a lot is in here, I’m afraid.”
She felt rooted to the spot. “You...you’d already pulled the file?” She knew there was an old records room in the back of the station. As a teen, she’d trailed after Sheriff Peek many times once she’d realized that she’d wanted to go into law enforcement. He’d said she was interning with him...and he’d strode around with his chest puffed out.
The first time she’d met Peek, he’d been tearing into Hayden. It was only later, much later, that she’d come to see the good heart hidden inside the hardened man. And I came to learn just why he blamed Hayden that day. Why so many in the town had.
“I pulled her file the day I took the job,” Hayden answered.
Again, he’d surprised her. “Why?”
His lips twisted in his half smile, the smile that said he was holding back secrets. “Same reason you did. I want to catch the bastard.”
Her heart thudded into her chest. Hayden wasn’t the boy he’d been. Staring at him right then, she saw that his eyes had gone flat and cold, so hard and deadly with intent. This wasn’t the boy she’d known or even the young man she’d loved.
This was the SEAL. Dangerous. Dark.
Almost...a stranger.
“He took you, Jill. You.” Hayden shook his head. “Do you think I have ever stopped wanting to catch him? I won’t ever stop. I know he’s still out there. He thinks he got away clean, but justice comes to everyone. Sooner or later.”
She took the file from him. Her fingers brushed his and a spark seemed to slip though her at that soft touch. She pulled back—too fast—and held the thin file carefully.
“You want to hunt him?” Hayden asked. “Fine, we’ll hunt him. We’ll do it together. This time, we aren’t kids running in the dark.”
No, they weren’t.