“Remember looking for the yule log?” Blythe asked.
“Every year.”
“Could Dad see them hiding it from the back windows?”
“I don’t know. What makes you think he could?”
“I can’t imagine it was a coincidence that he found it three years in a row.”
When Blythe and her sisters were little, they’d join as many as five hundred people on the annual hunt for the Yule Log—another Palmer Lake tradition, started by the Vail family in the 1930s. The hunt was held the first weekend of December and started at the town hall, where residents would gather, sing Christmas carols, and drink wassail and hot chocolate before donning red and green capes to begin their trek into the forest.
Sometimes it took a few minutes to find the eight-foot notched log, and sometimes it took as long as an hour or two. Whoever found it was given the honor of riding it, pulled by ropes held by other revelers, back up the steep road to the town hall. Three times in her life, her father had been the one to find it, so she and her sisters got to ride the log.
“I never thought about it, but maybe you’re right. I’d hate to think Dad would cheat, but he probably did it so each of us could have their turn riding up the hill.”
“That’s what I was thinking. Anyway, you’ve decided to move in with Lyric. I think it’s a great idea. When?”
“Tonight.”
“That soon?” Blythe shouldn’t be surprised. Bree couldn’t stay with her parents forever; she was a grown woman. She wasn’t like Blythe, who still hadn’t moved out on her own.
12
“The baby isn’t your responsibility, Jace.” Blythe wished Bree was here this morning instead of at the house in the glen. Whenever he started in on her about something, Bree would jump in and tell him to leave her alone.
“What if I want to make it my responsibility? I care about you, and I care about the baby. Let me do this, Blythe. Let me be part of your lives.”
“Jace, you have to understand—”
“I know what you’re gonna say, and it’s okay.”
“What was I going to say?”
“That you’re not over Tucker. It’s okay. I can wait.”
“It isn’t that I’m not over him. I’m having his baby, Jace. Doesn’t that kind of…I don’t know…turn you off of me?”
Jace touched the side of her face. “No, it doesn’t. I meant what I said. I want to be part of your lives. And if you don’t feel the same way about me as I feel about you, well, I’ll learn to be patient.”
“What if I never feel the way you do, Jace?”
“You did once, Blythe. I know you did. Things got all kinds of mixed up between you and me and Tuck. But I’m here now, and he isn’t. I asked you once before, and I’ll ask you again. Please, give me a chance. That’s all I’m askin’ for. A chance.”
“And if I say no?”
“I’ll ignore ya.”
“That’s what I figured,” she laughed. “But, Jace, I have to be honest with you. I think I knew from the first day I met you and Tucker that he was the man for me. I’m sorry if I gave you a different impression.”
“I know that, Blythe.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “But I’m not givin’ up.”
“What does that mean?”
“For now, I’ll be your friend—your best friend. I’ll be here when you need me. I’ll help you with the pregnancy, and once the baby’s here, I’ll help you then, too. I’m here for you, Blythe. That’s all you need to know right now.”
“You’re sure about this?”
“Never more sure of anything.”
The ultrasounds they performed indicated Blythe’s baby seemed perfectly healthy. She was far enough along that they should have been able to tell the baby’s sex, but Blythe insisted she didn’t want to know.
The doctors wanted to perform an amniocentesis soon, saying it would give them information the ultrasound could not. Blythe hadn’t decided whether to do the test or not. There were risks that the doctors said were minimal, but any risk was too much. Blythe didn’t want to put their baby through anything else—how he or she had survived this long was a miracle.
More often, Blythe found herself turning to Jace when she had to make a decision about the baby. She listened to her parents when they gave their opinion, and to Bree, and even Renie. But when the time came to make a decision, it was Jace whom Blythe listened to.
He was the one who convinced her to consider the amniocentesis. Whatever they learned, he told her, they’d face together. Ultimately, if there were anything wrong—and he was sure there wasn’t—it would give them a chance to do more to help the baby.
Three weeks later, Blythe received the results. These tests, too, were very positive. She started calling the baby “Miracle,” and so did Jace.
He was always close, affectionate, but not in a romantic way. When Blythe was with him, she was calm. When he wasn’t around, she grew anxious. Everyone sensed it, especially Jace.
Sunday afternoon Paige and Mark were hosting a barbecue, and the Cochran house was full. Billy and Renie were staying at the ranch in Black Forest, so they came over. Ben and Liv flew in for a visit and brought Jace’s parents with them. They wanted to see Blythe and let her know they would support her in any way they could.
Jace could feel Blythe’s exhaustion from all the activity in the other room. She needed him. He could feel it. Billy was in the middle of a sentence Jace wasn’t listening to anyway, when he walked away.
He sat down next to her and drew her into him. As much as he knew he shouldn’t, he was falling in love with Blythe. He didn’t know if she’d ever love him the way he loved her, but it didn’t matter; he’d never leave her. His brother had, but he wouldn’t.
Blythe rested her head on his shoulder.
“You’re exhausted, sweetheart.”
For now, Blythe was staying in the guest room on the main floor of the house. Next week, she was scheduled to have the cast removed from her arm, and if all went as planned, she’d be able to stop using the wheelchair shortly after.
“Time for you to get some rest,” Jace said, picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom.
“Maybe she wasn’t tired.” Bree met him when he came back out the bedroom door.
“Blythe was beyond tired, Bree.”
“She has a mind of her own, you know.”
“She does that.”
“You know she doesn’t want you here.”
It was one thing for Blythe to say it, because he knew that half the time she tried to push him away, she did it because she believed it was for his own good. Hearing it from her sister hurt, far worse than he would’ve expected it to. Jace tried to walk away, but Bree grabbed his arm.
“I don’t like the way you treat her.”
“I couldn’t care less what you like or don’t like,” Jace growled at her. “The only thing I care about is the woman on the other side of this door. The one who needs rest. Now get the hell out of my way before our arguing wakes her up.”
Jace stormed past her, unintentionally bumping her into the wall when he did. Bree wasn’t with Blythe every waking hour like he was. He’d had just about enough of her telling him anything about the woman he’d promised to take care of for the rest of her life.
Before Bree could follow, her mother stepped in her way. “Let it go.”
“He doesn’t let her think for herself,” Jace heard Bree say to Paige.
“He’s exactly what she needs right now. Let it go. I won’t say it again.”
Jace watched Bree go out the front door. Maybe she was leaving—that wouldn’t bother him one bit. He went in the opposite direction, out the slider to the deck.
“What the hell?” he said, seeing Bree sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs. “Are you followin’ me?”
“I was out here first, cowboy. So it’s you following me.”
“You’re ’bout the last person on earth I would want to follow, so you can let go of
that fantasy. I thought you went out the front door.”
Her face turned red, and she clenched and unclenched her fists, as though she wanted to hit him.
“You’re such an…asshole,” she spat.
Jace opened the slider to go back inside. “Been called worse, darlin’.”
Bree opened and closed her mouth a few times, he guessed trying to come up with something that might actually offend him. He was beyond being offended by anything this lady had to say to him. She’d hurt him a few minutes ago, but he wouldn’t let her do it again. He had too many other things to worry about.
He had to find Tucker, and so far, he had nothing to go on. Tuck hadn’t been seen along any of his usual escape routes, there was no activity on his bank account, and he wasn’t using his credit cards. No matter what he decided to do once he knew, Tucker was entitled to know he was going to be a father. Half of him hoped he’d come back and be the man Blythe needed him to be. The other half hoped he’d stay gone. And what kind of man did that make him?
Blythe couldn’t sleep, mainly because the baby couldn’t either. He, she liked to think he was a boy, couldn’t find a comfortable place to rest, so he was doing somersaults in her stomach. She reached over and turned on the light, bringing her sweatshirt up, and leaving her belly bare.
Every so often, a part of him would press against her, and she could see the slight movement on the surface of her stomach. When she rested her hand there, he’d stop moving, as though he could feel his mother’s hand comforting him.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” Jace asked.
He startled her; she’d been concentrating on watching the baby, and hadn’t heard him come in. “Miracle baby woke me up.”
He walked over and rested his hand on top of hers, as he so often did. He leaned down and kissed her belly.
“Go to sleep, miracle baby. Let your mama get some rest.”
Why couldn’t she love him? There were days she was certain Tucker would never come back, but Jace? He was right here, in front of her. Gentle, loving, nurturing, and patient. He said he’d never run out of patience, but what if she never felt the way he did?
He reached up and rubbed his fingers over her forehead. “So much worry tonight. What’s goin’ on?”
“I’m worried about you.”
“We’ve talked about this. Nothin’ to worry about where I’m concerned, darlin’. Nothin’ at all. You’re my life now. You and this little baby.”
“What if I can’t be what you want me to be?”
“Blythe, how many times do we have to talk about this?”
She didn’t need to answer him. He knew what she was saying, and she was right. Every night, when he finally let the sleep he fought take over, he dreamed of her. It was often the same dream. He was making love to her, and each time, she called out Tucker’s name. It would wake him up, and he’d fight going back to sleep again.
Even through his drunken haze, Tucker felt his brother’s warring emotions. He’d alternate between serenity and anguish. When Tucker felt Jace’s peace, he wondered if that meant he and Blythe were together. But what about the anguish? What was that about? Or was it his own anguish he felt? The lines were so blurred he couldn’t tell where he ended and Jace began.
13
Blythe asked Bree to take her out to Billy’s ranch to watch him and Jace train. Billy and Renie would be leaving for Crested Butte soon, where Renie and Willow would stay with Liv and Ben while Billy was on the road. Jace would follow shortly after. Blythe wanted to spend as much time with all of them as she could before they left.
Jace told her he was thinking about quitting saddle bronc riding so he could stay home with her. She told him, if he did that, she would never speak to him again. It was bad enough that he spent most of his time with her; she wouldn’t let him give up something he’d worked so hard for.
He made her promise to come and watch him practice, and to come to some of the rodeos he was competing in. She agreed, particularly when Lyric said it would be a great opportunity for RodeoChat, and she’d go with her.
They were already planning when they’d join everyone in Crested Butte for the big rodeo in Gunnison’s Cattlemen’s Days.
“Hey, Jace, don’t you have a place in Aspen?” Blythe asked.
“I do, darlin’. You plannin’ a little getaway?”
“No, but Bree is going to the X Games. I thought, if it was empty, she could stay there. She’s having a hard time finding a place with rooms available.”
“I’ll find a place, Blythe. I can always stay in Basalt and drive in every day.”
“Why’re you goin’ to the X Games?”
“Tell him, Bree. I think what you’re doing is really cool.”
“I’m researching why people participate in extreme sports.”
“There’s more. Go ahead, tell him,” Blythe prodded.
“I’m thinking of interviewing people who ride bulls and broncs, even barrel racers.”
“Jace, why don’t you let Bree interview you?”
Why didn’t Bree ask herself, if she wanted to interview him? He knew the answer—because she didn’t. Blythe was trying hard to make peace between them, like she was doing now, and he hated to disappoint her, but he and Bree barely tolerated one another. She took every opportunity to tell him he didn’t have a place in Blythe’s life.
“Blythe’s family is perfectly capable of taking care of her,” she’d say. “You don’t need to be here every day. Let her get back to a normal life.” Bree worked that into almost every conversation she had with him.
“Can you explain how me leavin’ her alone makes her life normal? She’s pregnant, twenty-three years old, the father of her baby is God knows where and doesn’t even know he’s going to be a father, but it’s me that makes her life abnormal.” Jace had shaken his head and walked away after that conversation. Actually, he shook his head and walked away after every conversation he had with Blythe’s sister.
“Yeah, well, if you can’t find a place, you can stay in the condo in Aspen. Lemme know. Billy’s waitin’ to get started.” That was a crock of shit; Billy never waited on anyone.
“Never seen a woman rattle you that way,” Billy goaded him.
“She doesn’t rattle me. She makes my skin crawl.”
“Whatever,” Billy smirked.
“You ready to get back to work? If not, I’ll let you gossip with the girls sittin’ over there.” Jace motioned toward the barn, where Renie, Blythe, and Bree sat, watching them.
Billy laughed, which made Jace want to knock him into the dirt, but that would happen soon enough without Jace having to do it. This weekend they’d be in Pueblo, and the horse Billy was due to ride had bucked off its last fifteen riders. Jace was as thankful he hadn’t drawn that horse, as he would be to see Billy eat a little dirt.
The baby was kicking up a storm. Sometimes it hurt, but most times it tickled. Like it was now. Blythe started to giggle. Renie and Bree were used to it. If she was laughing and rubbing her belly, they knew why.
“Can I feel?” Bree asked her.
“Of course, you don’t have to ask. I don’t like strangers touching my belly—which happens more than you’d think—but you can, whenever you want.”
Blythe watched her sister’s face turn from troubled to serene when she felt the baby kick. Was she wishing she and Zack had gotten pregnant before he was deployed? At least then she wouldn’t be alone.
Lyric drove up and parked next to where they were sitting. Things would get interesting now. They always did when Lyric was around. She never hesitated to say exactly what was on her mind, which usually resulted in the four of them laughing hysterically.
They formed their own tight-knit circle. Renie wasn’t around as often, between finishing school and raising Willow, who was growing like a weed. She was eighteen months old, walking and talking like a little lady.
“Come here and see Auntie Blythe, Willow. You wanna feel my baby?”
Willow toddled ove
r, and Blythe showed her where to rest her hands. When Willow felt the baby move, she jumped, and then started to giggle. Was there a better sound on earth than a little girl’s giggle?
Jace watched Blythe playing with Willow. When she was around the little girl, she never stopped smiling. She told him she was worried about what kind of mother she’d be, but she’d be a great one. All she lacked was confidence. Once her baby was born, she’d be too busy to over-think herself.
Her baby. Not their baby. As close as he felt to her, and as much as he loved that bundle growing inside her, the baby would never be his. He’d always be Uncle Jace.
He caught Bree’s eye instead of Blythe’s. She was watching him. He watched her too, when she wasn’t looking. Why did she irritate him so much? Every time she opened her damned mouth, he wanted to throttle her.
Lyric walked over. “I wanna do a spotlight on you and Billy this week. Different than the interview we did on him at the National Western. This time the focus would be on him retiring, you gettin’ started on broncs. RodeoChat followers would love to hear your different perspectives, especially since ya’ll are travelin’ together. That’s weird on its own.”
He’d heard that Billy never had a travel partner when he was competing hardcore. Jace figured it was because no one wanted to be around the guy. He’d also heard Billy believed it was bad luck. They hadn’t talked about it, but Billy was riding great, so evidently, he’d stopped believing his own superstition.
“Sure, Lyric. You know we’re happy to talk to you anytime.”
“Bree’s gonna sit in on it, too. She’s got some questions of her own about some research project she’s doin’. If you ask me, that sociology stuff is a load of crap, but what do I know?”
Jace scratched his chin, wishing he’d seen that one coming. Too late to bow out now, though. “She mentioned somethin’ about it, but I didn’t get the impression she was interested in anything I had to say.”
Kiss Me Cowboy (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 3) Page 13