by Cathy Peper
They heard an answering whinny in the distance. Crawford’s head shot up. “Could be pursuers,” he said, his voice low and tense. “Hurry, we have to get going.”
Jesse pulled off his jacket and draped it over the horse’s eyes, keeping him from seeing the turbulent water. He coaxed the horse forward, his own heart sinking as they stepped on the bobbing contraption.
The ferry operator slid the rope free and pushed off. The current caught them instantly, spinning them in a circle. The operator ran from one side of the craft to the other, trying to maintain control.
Jesse stood, head buried in his horse’s mane, taking deep breaths. His horse seemed calmer now, standing steady, but he could hear one of the other horses, Crawford’s probably, shifting nervously, hooves rattling against the wooden planks. He felt a hand on his back and realized Diamond had drifted closer. She didn’t speak, but he took comfort from her presence even as his cheeks burned with humiliation. How would he be able to look at her again if they made it to the other side?
“We will overshoot,” Crawford called out.
“No help for it,” the operator replied.
The raft took another sickening turn, and Jesse heard Diamond catch her breath as water sloshed over the top, wetting their already soaked feet. They might all die if it overturned.
A bang sounded from shore and bark flew from where a bullet buried itself in the ferry’s railing. Diamond screamed and drew closer. The men on the bank were shooting at them.
The ferry operator yelled some obscenities, then gave up fighting to bring them into shore and caught the center current which carried them quickly downstream. Another volley came from shore, but this one missed the speeding raft entirely. The men raced their horses along the bank for a few minutes, firing as they went, but the river carried the ferry along quicker than the men could follow and they were soon out of range.
Once they were no longer under fire, the operator tried once more to bring them to shore. He struggled to move the raft against the strong current. Crawford still fought to control his unruly mount. Someone needed to help the operator and Diamond hadn’t sufficient strength.
“Hold him.” Jesse shoved his reins into Diamond’s hand.
“Where are you going?”
“He needs help.”
“But—”
Jesse didn’t allow her to finish. He stepped towards the operator, his stomach rolling with the pitch of the deck. He grabbed the pole, too, and together they fought against the strength of the swollen river, pushing against the muddy river bottom. They stopped the forward momentum, and the ferry spun again, using the pole as a fulcrum. A cold sweat trickled down his back, mixing with the drizzle. He averted his gaze from the frothy, brown water, but couldn’t erase the image from his mind’s eyes.
“That’s it,” the operator said, “Just another hard shove.”
The pushed with all their might and the ferry broke free of the current, slipping into slower moving water. They were still being carried downstream, but not as fast and the next time they applied the pole, it was easier and they crept closer to shore.
When they drew within a few feet, the operator jumped into the water and waded to shore. “Throw me the rope.”
Jesse flung it out, and the man caught it, putting all his weight against it. The ferry rocked to a stop and then he pulled it in. There wasn’t a dock here, but Crawford’s horse caught sight of dry land and bolted free, tearing the reins from Crawford’s hands and thundering off the ferry, nearly trampling the operator in his haste to reach dry land. Crawford ran after him. Fortunately, the horse didn’t go far, coming to a stop a hundred yards from the river, allowing Crawford to capture him.
On shaking legs, Jesse turned to get his horse, but Diamond was already by his side, leading their two horses. She passed him his reins, and he walked the horse off, leaning against the animal and wishing he could just collapse.
Diamond trailed behind, her eyes worried. Would she still even want to stay married to him after this?
“I’m asking double for this,” the ferry operator said. “And they need to pay for damages. I never signed up to be shot at.”
Crawford returned with his horse walking calmly beside him. “You’re working for the war effort. Being shot at is always part of the package.”
“I’m working for the money. And if there’s a risk of getting shot, they need to pay more or find someone else fool enough to do this.”
Crawford looked annoyed, but thanked the man anyway.
Diamond added her own thanks. “We would never have made it without you. I’ll be forever grateful.”
A hint of color stole into the man’s cheeks. “I’m happy to help a nice lady like you, but you’d best be on your way. There’s another ferry fifty miles west of here, although I don’t know if it will be running.”
Jesse shook hands with the man, glad his were no longer shaking. Then the operator secured the rope to a tree and disappeared into the woods. Jesse assumed he would come back for the ferry later, after the water had receded.
“So you’ll be heading west then?” Crawford asked, a hint of disapproval in his voice. “The cause needs every able-bodied man it can get. I will go back to my regiment.”
“I’ve already asked a lot from my wife. And I’m ready to put the bloodshed behind me and make a new life.”
“Good luck to you then.” Crawford swung up onto his horse.
“Wait. I need to speak to Jesse for a moment. In private.”
Crawford nodded and trotted out of earshot.
Jesse felt almost as sick to his stomach as he had felt earlier looking down into the muddy river. Did she want to end their marriage? Would he be able to let her go? He’d made her a promise when she agreed to marry him.
“That was amazing,” she said.
Jesse fumbled to figure out what she was referring to. “We were lucky none of us got hurt.”
“That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about how you got us across the river.”
“It was nothing more than brute force. As fast as the water was running it required the strength of two men to move the raft.”
Diamond’s lips tilted at the corners. She was pale, with dark circles under her eyes and her hair had come loose from its bindings, falling in wet rat tails around her face, but her smile was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. “I know it took a great deal of effort. I could see the two of you struggling, but I’m talking about the mental, not the physical challenge. You walked to the edge of the raft and fought the river head-on even though you don’t like water and haven’t since you nearly drowned as a child.”
“It’s foolishness, sheer cowardice as my father always says—”
“Stop.” She laid a hand on his arm. “You had a very traumatic experience as a child. It’s bound to affect you in ways that people might not understand in this century. If you hadn’t helped that poor man the river would have swept us further downstream. We might have capsized.”
“I just did what I had too.” Jesse ran a hand under the collar of his shirt.
“And you always do. That’s what I admire about you. And if you want to go west, I’m all for it. I would love to get away from the constant worry and ever-present danger. But I know you can’t desert with equanimity. If you feel you need to go back to your unit, I’ll support you. I’ll go live with your father again or we can get our own place.”
“Things will only get worse.”
She nodded. She’d told him prices would rise and food grow scarce. The Union Army would burn a swathe through the South and cities like Atlanta and Richmond would fall.
“The South loses the war. We should get out now, start a new life.”
“I’d be happy to, but not if it will cast a pall on our marriage. Not if you’ll always regret your decision and eventually come to blame me.”
“I would never blame you or anyone else for my own actions.”
“Maybe not, but I notice you didn’t say you
wouldn’t regret it. Knowing what you know, it must be difficult to keep fighting, but I have a hard time seeing you as a deserter. Can you live with that label for the rest of your life?”
Could he? He changed tack. “I know you married me for convenience, but I love you. I want what’s best for you.”
His big brown eyes opened even wider. “You love me? It’s not just the dowry and my connections to the Pooles?”
“Amy has a dowry and stands to inherit even more when her father dies. If I only cared about money, I would have married her years ago.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured that out. So I thought you must have married me because you felt obligated to do so after we spent so many nights alone together.”
Jesse shook his head. “I’m not that much of a gentleman. Besides, I was very sick. Only a fool would think I’d taken advantage of you.”
“My reputation would still have been ruined.”
He placed a finger under her chin and titled her head up. “I married you because I couldn’t let you get away from me. Let me do this for you. I’m not asking you to love me back.”
“I love you. Maybe not when we married, but since. When Amy made her play for you, I wanted to scratch her eyes out.”
Jesse grinned, but his brow furrowed. “Then why have you been so angry with me?”
“Because I wanted to keep you safe.”
“Then our best bet is to go out West. Nobody will care about my military record after the war is over.”
“You will.”
She was right. It would always leave a bad taste in his mouth. “You’re willing to send me back to the war and go back to Arkansas? It will be dangerous and uncomfortable for both of us.”
“Heading west would not be without risk.”
The tight band around Jesse’s chest eased. She loved him. She loved him so much she would risk losing him. It made sense in a crazy way. He could have both her and his honor, if he survived the war. “I signed up for two years. I only have a few months left and then I can come home to you.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
He gathered her into his arms and they clung together, wet and shivering from cold and shock. He kissed her fiercely, claiming her mouth as his, plundering it as he sought to stamp himself on her mind and body. She melted into him, giving as good as she got, their tongues dueling, tinged with fear and longing.
At last, he pulled back, his gaze searching her face. Color had returned to her cheeks, but she still looked tired. Determined, but tired. He flicked a wet curl out of her eyes. “We’d better tell Crawford he’s gonna have company.”
Thirty Four
Chapter 34
Six years later
California Coast
The tide rolled slowly in, creeping up the sand and sending frothy swirls of water into the moat of the sandcastle Jesse had built with the children. Diamond guessed it would last about half an hour before the waves overwhelmed it, dragging the sand back into the sea.
She sat on a blanket well above the watermark, papers, pencils, and books scattered beside her. The sun shone overhead, and the temperature hovered around eighty degrees. Earlier she had taken her five-year-old son, Cameron, and his sister, two-year-old Emerald, into the waves. Jesse had come with them. Although he still hadn’t learned how to swim and never ventured into water over his head, the fear that had dogged him since childhood had vanished after their wild crossing of the Missouri River.
She had taken a big risk sending him back to the army. By the time he finished his original service, the Confederate Army was so desperate for men they automatically re-enlisted anyone due to muster out. Both the North and the South started a draft, an unpopular, but a necessary step to replace the thousands who died in battle and of disease and injury. She could so easily have lost him but feared that if he had broken his oath and deserted, like his brother, she would have lost him, anyway. A vital part of who he was would have died.
Not that he had returned unscathed. The man who came back from nearly three more years of brutal warfare wasn’t the same man she had married. He didn’t like to talk about the war and she didn’t press him, but he had nightmares. Although he was unfailingly gentle and loving with her and the kids, he had a hard edge about him which reminded her of Ian.
After the war, they had moved to California and used her dowry to purchase an orange grove in what would one day be part of Hollywood. She planned to stress to her children and grandchildren the importance of holding on to the property which would eventually be worth a fortune.
In the meantime, they got by. Citrus was not yet the major crop it would be in years to come, but they cleared a tidy profit and she supplemented their income by writing for Harper’s Weekly and other magazines. Handwriting her copy onto sand-covered papers made her miss her laptop. And it was hard to spend weeks or months painstakingly researching something she could have Googled in two minutes in her own time. But she had grown used to the slower pace of life and enjoyed living in the pristine beauty of an area which would become overcrowded and prohibitively expensive in the twenty-first century.
Emerald, or Emmie, as they called her, broke away from her father and brother and toddled up to her mother. Her little round face was flushed with heat. Worried about sunburn, Diamond plopped a hat on her dark curls and scooped the child onto her lap.
“Castle gone,” Emmie said, sounding sad.
“You can build another one next time.” Diamond picked up a stack of papers and fanned Emmie and herself.
“Did you get any work done?” Jesse asked as he and Cam joined the girls.
“Some.”
“I’m hungry,” Cam said.
“Let’s go get lunch,” Jesse said. He took Emmie from Diamond and they headed back to where they had left the wagon and a hearty picnic lunch. Cam ran ahead and Emmie struggled, wanting her dad to set her down so she could follow her brother. Jesse set her on her feet and she took off as fast as her little legs could carry her.
“She reminds me of you,” Jesse said.
“How flattering to be compared to a toddler. Do you expect me to throw a tantrum at any minute?”
“Her enthusiasm, not her meltdowns. She will keep Cam on his toes.”
“I was an only child, so I never had to worry about competition among siblings.” And after meeting Janet and Jack, she was glad of it, though she wouldn’t say so aloud. Finn had sold his property in New Madrid and taken the proceeds, along with Janet’s dowry, and bought a dairy farm in Minnesota. They kept in touch and Janet was expecting her second child.
Ian went home to Hickory Grove, which has suffered only minor damage while held by Union forces. She and Jesse spent a year after the war helping him get the farm up and running again, this time with paid labor instead of slaves. They persuaded him to sell off a portion and split the money in half, providing Janet with her dowry and Jesse with his own share of the estate. Ian eventually took Jack back as his heir. Unlike some guerrillas, like Frank and Jesse James who continued their outlaw ways even after the war, Jack had settled down. He and Amy, along with their three children, now lived at Hickory Grove and helped Ian with the farm.
Jesse and Diamond had finally been free to move out West. Diamond wanted to raise her children far from Ian’s critical eye. Emmie didn’t remember her grandfather, but she worried that Cam had picked up on some of her father-in-law’s negativity during his crucial formative years. She and Jesse had conceived Cam somewhere along the trek from St. Louis to Little Rock after Jesse’s escape from prison. When Diamond realized she was pregnant, she’d had little choice, but to continue to live with her father-in-law, first in Arkansas and later in Texas when the Missouri Confederate government relocated there after the fall of Arkansas.
“I wrote Ari a letter.”
“Did you? She will not change her mind after all this time. Besides, your place is here now with me and the children.”
Jesse always grew slightly defensive whenever she mentioned Bryce and
Ari. “I would never leave you and the kids.” She’d take them with her if she ever got the chance, but no need to tell Jesse. “She and Victoria are the only ones who understand my situation.”
“I try my best.”
Diamond grabbed his arm, stopping him. The kids ran on ahead, their voices carrying over the wind. “I know you do.” Sebastien had talked to Jesse about dealing with a wife from the future. Knowing how much Victoria missed her soda, he’d hired a chemist to create a copycat version. Victoria said it would never compare to the real thing, but it gave her the sweet hit of caffeine she longed for.
Diamond missed soda, too, but always joked that nineteenth-century coffee was better than newsroom coffee. She enjoyed whiskey as well and matched Jesse drink for drink in private, although she kept to a glass of wine in public.
Jesse encouraged her writing and had been the first to suggest she branch into writing for magazines. She usually published under her married name, but wrote the occasional article under the name, Di Merrell, which she had used when she worked for the TV news station. It was her way of leaving clues for her mother. She hoped one day her mother would see one of those articles and have an inkling what had happened to her daughter. She probably wouldn’t be able to believe Diamond had gone back in time, but maybe the possibility would give her a measure of peace. They hadn’t been close, but now Diamond was a mother herself, she realized her mother had loved her in her own way.
Jesse stared down into her eyes. Both had experienced so much since the first day they met at the fall of Island #10.
“I guess I still can’t believe how lucky I am the crystal brought you to me. I thought you were an angel when I looked up and saw you standing over me, the sun glinting off your hair.”
“Really? The way I remember it is you thought me a pest who wouldn’t leave you alone.”
“A strangely dressed, very bossy angel,” Jesse agreed.