Harrison's eyes focused slowly on the wild hair and green eyes that had slid into the booth across from him. Zelda's wonky smile caught him off-guard and he felt himself return the smile. She motioned to the server, who came over and took her drink order.
“So how are your hands?” she asked.
Harrison turned them over and showed her. She leaned close and took a long perusal of his wounds, then shook her head.
“Yikes,” she tsked. Then she sat back in the booth as her beer was set before her.
Harrison was torn. On one hand, he was plotting getting up and leaving her sitting there alone. On the other, he was just so damn relieved to see her smile that he didn't want to move.
She took a bolstering drink from her pint and set it down. “So I get that you want to pretend like...” she paused, looked up at him and then back down again. “Like the kiss never happened.” Her green eyes were flat when they connected with his. “And I'm okay with that.”
“You are,” he said, finding the words difficult.
She nodded, her face soft, sad, and certain. “I miss my friend.”
Oh how Harrison wished Sway would have just kicked his ass by now. He was such an idiot.
“So I'll act like nothing happened and you can act like nothing happened and we can go back to how it was.” She tested a smile as she waited for his response.
He needed to fix this. He missed her, too. But he didn't want to pretend like it didn't happen. He just had no idea what to do. He'd never been so confused in his life.
“I'm sorry—” he started, but then she cut him off.
“Please don't apologize,” she whispered. “I think that if you said you were sorry for it, then I might actually die.” She looked around nervously, her hands fidgeting with her glass.
“Okay,” he acquiesced, even though he wasn't planning on apologizing for the kiss. He wasn't sorry for it at all. But he did want to say he was sorry for acting like an ass the past ten days.
Her expression relaxed and her crooked smile came back in full force. “Good.”
“Have you heard from Dick Pic again?” he asked, trying to ease back into their casual friendship.
“No, surprisingly,” she said, her eyebrows going up slightly. “You must have actually scared him away.”
First good news he'd heard all week. “You'd tell me the truth, right?” he asked anyway.
“Yes,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I secretly want to see you smash his face a little bit.”
And just like that, they were back.
Harrison had two more beers to Zelda's one and they talked like old friends catching up after not seeing each other for a long while. She was funny and she made him laugh by telling him of all the times she'd fallen down while taking pictures. He returned the favor by telling her about some of the shenanigans that had taken place in the band's early days.
She really was a fan. She could track the time line by the album; some of the shows he referenced she had actually attended. In fact, they had crossed paths more times than should be possible without having ever actually met.
It started to get late and they both charged their tabs to their rooms, joking about how Kendra was going to give them all another stern lecture on “Necessary Expenditures.”
It felt so good to talk to her again. To laugh with her, to hear her references and be able to fire one back in return.
They wandered through the lobby and over to the elevators. Harrison nodded at the coffee shop by the front desk.
“You wanna meet me for coffee in the morning?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said, before entering the lift.
He pressed the button to his floor and then the button to hers.
“How are the rooms on the fifth? Decent?” he asked.
“Nice,” she said, nodding. “Though there's some kind of bachelorette party down the hall from us tonight.”
He looked over at her and raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Did they at least invite you?”
“They did.” She laughed. “But I told them I'm technically working right now. That wouldn't be very professional.”
He shook his head seriously. “Of course not. You never know when one of them might try to get you to go swimming after-hours in your panties.”
He was rewarded with her gasp and a smack to his arm. “Who told you?”
He chuckled. “Lucy told Blake, and Blake has a big mouth.”
“I'll remember that,” she muttered as the elevator shuddered to a stop on five. “Big-Mouth Blake.”
The doors opened and he followed her out, intending to walk her all the way to her room. They rounded the corner and music thumped through the walls. Harrison stopped their forward progress with a hand to her elbow.
“Do you wanna see the floor we get to stay on?” he asked impulsively. He had no intention of doing anything with that. He just thought she might want to see how the stars were set up. Judging by the look on her face, he had assumed correctly.
“Does Sauron need Visine?” she asked with a quirk of her lip.
He slid his hand into hers and turned them around to the elevators. He chuckled to himself and shook his head.
“What?” she asked, giving his hand a squeeze.
He smiled sheepishly. “There's just something about walking through hotel hallways late at night with a girl that makes me feel a lot younger. I half expected Carl to step out and wrestle me to the ground.”
“Led many a young woman astray, did you?” she teased.
“Not as many as Sway,” he answered as he pushed the button to the lift. The doors opened immediately and he pulled her in with him. Hitting the fifteen with his free hand, he grinned down at her. “Mostly I was sneaking his dates back out.”
“Sure you were, Romeo.”
“I had to. And I usually bought them a cab for their trouble. Sway owes me hundreds of dollars in cab fare.”
“Hundreds?”
He shrugged. “It may have been a limo a time or two.”
Zelda shook her head. “Rock stars.” A thought struck her and he saw it ripple across her features. “I haven't seen a lot of groupies on the tour. What's that all about?”
“I think Kendra tasers them on sight—”
Zelda burst out laughing.
“No, really,” Harrison reiterated. “I think it's a trick Lenny taught her.”
The doors opened and he pulled her out into the hallway, which was not very different from the one ten floors below.
“Am I going to get tasered if I'm seen up here?” she asked.
“Only if all your clothes accidentally come flying off.”
She laughed again and he repeated the hand squeeze. Her laugh hit him right in the solar plexus and made it hard to breathe. He loved it.
They rounded the corner where his room was and he slid the key card out of his back pocket. Looking down at her animated face, he said seriously, “Now, if you don't approve of my sleeping quarters you'll have to keep it to yourself. I don't fare well under harsh criticism.”
“I'll be gentle,” she reassured with a curt nod.
The door swung open and he let her go through first.
“Whoa!” she exclaimed, pausing briefly in the entryway. Then she bounded through the room like an excited kitten. “It's bigger than my apartment! Holy crap! Have you seen your view? I think I can see my apartment from here! No way! Your bathroom is humungous! Why do you need a giant bathtub and a shower?” she asked, sticking her head out of the bathroom to frown at him.
Harrison shrugged and stuck his hands in his back pockets. “I don't know.”
“I bet you could have an epic bubble bath in that sucker. Are you a fan of bubble baths?” she asked, a light tease in her voice.
“I have no idea, I've never tried it,” he answered with a laugh.
She stopped and frowned at him. “You've never had a bubble bath?”
“Nope.”
“Something is very wrong with that,” she said, stroll
ing past him to check out the bedroom.
“Why is that so wrong? I'm a guy. I doubt a lot of guys really like the bubble bath thing. They sound boring, honestly.”
She turned around and walked backwards. “They're not boring. They're very relaxing.” She flashed a smile and then started opening the closet doors.
Harrison had a sudden image of Zelda covered in bubbles in his bathtub and he pressed his lips together hard enough to bruise them. He took a breath and purposefully thought of Carl and the fact that the tour manager had a key to his room.
That was better.
“You have a sound system in your hotel room,” Zelda said accusingly when he entered the bedroom. She was holding the remote for it and already firing it up.
“Yeah, it's pretty standard,” he said, leaning against the doorjamb.
“Shut up. It's wired to the entire suite,” she exclaimed as she rushed back into the living quarters.
It didn't take her long to figure out how it worked and she had music filtering through the speakers.
“This is so cool,” she said, adjusting the treble, bass, and tone. The satellite station she'd chosen was nice. Soothing.
And then Harrison realized he didn't want to go back to the day. He wanted the night to last. He wanted to just spend time.
Time laughing, time talking. Time watching her discovering. She was entirely without guile. She shined and sparkled and danced without even realizing it.
The guitar of Snow Patrol's “Chasing Cars” filtered through the speakers and Harrison was compelled to do something he'd never done before.
“C'mere,” he said roughly, grabbing the remote and tossing it aside, then taking her hand and leading her to an open space.
He stared into those fierce green eyes and ran his hand lightly over her ribs to her back. Her hands automatically went to his shoulders and her body followed his lead. He swayed gently, hesitantly. But she was the best dancing partner. Her rhythm and pace matched his perfectly. The whole time, her eyes never left his.
Harrison was dancing.
Not just in action, but in feeling. In thought, in desire, in life.
The words were a question, the music was the answer. She was saying yes with her every movement.
His fingers pressed her closer to him and she yielded. Too heavy to hold up by himself, he dropped his forehead to hers and breathed slowly. In and out.
The song ended, but he kept her close, afraid that standing on his own would be impossible. Afraid that if he let her go, the spell would be broken. She ran her hands up and threaded her fingers into his hair, drawing her body even closer to his. Thankfully. Because Ed Sheeran's “Give Me Love” was next up on the playlist.
It brought back the night they sang karaoke, and with that, all the dozens of memories they'd shared and experienced throughout the tour. The words could have been written by him. Maybe it was too tragic, too dramatic. But it's how he felt.
He wasn't the front man with a heavy burden, or the guitarist with mystique, or the misunderstood playboy, or the ex-junkie with a tortured past. He was just Harrison.
He was a man with a heart that had no idea what to do with itself. Was it possible to be lost without ever having left your comfort zone? He had no deep wound to delve into, no traumatic experience to blame for his insecurities and fear of rejection.
Was it normal to just want to be loved for who you were before you ever took off your mask? Was he being unreasonably dramatic by thinking maybe he had something worth hiding?
Turning his head slightly and pressing his temple along her hairline and then down so that his lips rested against the shell of her ear, his hands slid lower. They demanded this closeness, unrelenting in their need.
His need.
“Do you think I'm too unblemished to be broken?” he asked her, afraid of her answer. Afraid to find out what she really thought of him.
“We're all broken. Some of us just more quietly than others,” she whispered, her breath warm on his neck. Were they really so close that he could feel her breath?
After ten days of fighting it, he was finally right back where he wanted to be. The only place he ever wanted to be for the rest of forever. In fact, the tour could continue tomorrow without him and he'd be just fine with that.
Because Zelda eased his mind. She laughed with him and not at him. She looked at him like he was a hero in a story he hadn't read yet. And she kissed him like he was the only man she ever wanted to kiss.
That's all Harrison ever wanted. But he didn't realize it until just that moment.
No wonder he was terrified.
His lips whispered a touch along her cheek as they sought her mouth. Wanting to be home. His tongue needing to taste her, touch her, make her his.
“Oh, I'm so sorry!” a female voice broke into their dance with a startling suddenness. Harrison jerked his head back and Zelda stiffened in his arms. He looked over her shoulder and saw Kiley standing in the doorway.
This. Was. Not. Good.
Harrison felt his eyes close in disbelief even as Zelda backed away from him.
This wasn't happening.
This couldn't be happening.
He opened his eyes and saw Zelda, her face still flushed from their intimate moment. She had been ready for the kiss that would have claimed her as his own. She gave him an understanding smile. But that was the thing, she didn't understand. How could she? He didn't even get it and it was his life.
“I'm so sorry,” Kiley said again.
Zelda turned around and gave Kiley her beautiful smile. “It's fine. I was just leaving anyway.”
“No really,” Kiley pleaded, her face red with embarrassment. “I called him, but he didn't answer. I should have—”
Zelda had reached the door. How she had made it all the way across the room when Harrison was still trying to figure how to breathe was a mystery to him. But there she was, walking out of his life.
“It's fine,” she reassured Kiley. She turned back to face Harrison, giving him a small wave. “See you tomorrow, guy.” The door clicked closed behind her.
Harrison stood very still, hoping that any second he would wake up and be able to start this day over again.
“Were you on a date?” Kiley asked, popping his thought bubble.
He scratched the center of his forehead with a fingertip and his mouth twitched. “Is that so surprising to you?” he asked, suddenly feeling very tired.
“Yeah, I mean, no,” she corrected quickly.
He pursed his lips. “It does surprise you.”
She met his glare with silence. He sighed, reached down for the remote and shut off the music.
“What are you doing here, Kiley?”
“I was in town and I wanted to surprise you,” she said softly.
“I told you—”
“I know, but I thought maybe you'd change your mind if you saw me.” She tested a hesitant smile on him.
Harrison rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “I think you should go.”
She swallowed and looked down. “Okay.”
He licked his lips and took a breath. Right before she reached the door, he stopped her. “What am I to you, Kiley?” he asked.
She faced him slowly. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, when you look at me, when you think of me, what am I to you?” His heart hurt. It hurt so bad he thought maybe it really was broken and he'd just never realized it.
“You're sweet and I like you,” she whispered.
He nodded. “I'm sweet. Adorable. Safe, even. Not the bad boy, not the one who needs rescuing or repairing. Just sweet.”
Her mouth opened, but no words came out.
“You know who I am to her?” he asked. She looked over her shoulder as if expecting to see Zelda still there. Facing him again, she shook her head.
“Just another liar.”
Chapter 14
Best Of You
Kendra had no idea what to expect when she knocked on Harrison's door
. Carl had called her and barked at her to get up there immediately. It was more than coincidence that Zelda had returned to their shared room ten minutes before that.
She'd entered, changed into yoga pants wordlessly, and then went to bed.
Kendra could hear raised voices on the other side of the door that silenced when she knocked. Carl opened it abruptly and she swallowed at his scowl. It was darker than usual.
Walking into the spacious suite, she was surprised to see Sam, their head of security, there as well. The “Oh shit” feeling intensified.
Harrison's back was to her as he faced out the window at the lights of the city.
“What's going on?” she asked.
Sam cleared his throat and looked at his boots. “Harrison had an unexpected visitor tonight.”
Panic entered Kendra's blood vessels. “What?! Like a stalker?”
Harrison turned around and faced her. “No, not a stalker. It was Kiley.”
Kendra's head jerked and she frowned. “Kiley? O-kay.” She looked from Carl to Sam to Harrison. “I don't get it. What am I missing?”
Harrison growled under his breath.
“She got a key at the front desk and made it all the way into his room and no one stopped her,” Carl explained.
“How?” Kendra asked.
“That's what I want to know!” Carl snapped, looking between Kendra and Sam.
Sam shrugged. “My guy said he saw her with Harrison in Denver. He stopped her, she had a key, and he assumed she was supposed to be here.”
“How did she get a key?” Harrison asked. “Can anyone just go down and get a key to my room whenever they want?”
Kendra was shaking her head. “No! No, the management had specific instructions not to give out keys to anyone. Only me.”
So that's why everyone was looking at her.
“I didn't get her a key!” she exclaimed, quickly connecting the dots.
“Can you find out who did, please?” Carl asked obviously.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Kendra pulled out her phone, but she had no idea where to start. She should go downstairs and deal with this directly.
“Although if you kept your security detail updated on who you're sleeping with, little misunderstandings like this probably wouldn't happen,” Carl said, turning his irritation on Harrison.
The Hope That Starts (Double Blind Study Book 5) Page 19