“Know what?”
She began to fade, her entire body, wings dress and all, becoming translucent. “Take care of our little rose, fair knight. She is a prize beyond compare, far more than a common soldier like you deserves.”
Ardan reached for her but his hand merely swept through her transparent figure. “Wait! What is it I don’t know? Tell me.”
She disappeared without answering, the ringing sound of her mocking laughter trailing into silence.
Ardan glared at her, his grey eyes hard as flint. “What did she mean? Thorn?”
The last of Buttercup’s implications rocked through her. “I’m—” She only remembered being a princess. What if she really was the queen? Should she tell him?
The sound of a thousand ravens cawing came to them on the rising wind. The day darkened. In the distance, over the trees, a black cloud appeared in the distance bringing with it the damp smell of rain.
“Come on, without her, we’re only prey.” He led Triton to the dark hollow in the rock, his back stiff. “But once we’re in a safe place, I want to know why she said that and what you aren’t telling me.”
Thorn followed him into the murky entrance to the tunnels, every step heavy with realization. She had to tell him she suspected she was the Black Queen. But once she did, what would happen was anyone’s guess since her lover, Ardan, had vowed to kill her and take her head.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Ardan pulled Gleam and as they entered the tunnels the blade’s runes lit up the dark. With each step his deep sense of foreboding grew. The light from the sword gave him some sense of comfort as they walked in an ever deepening spiral underground into the belly of Underhill and the tunnels of the Fir Bolg.
Behind them, Thorn had created her own light globe and she walked carefully, cradling the bunch of buttercups in her hand. Additional soft light came from the flowers, creating a circle around them, and he tried to walk as far ahead of her as he could but still stay within the boundaries of the light.
The pain from Thorn’s rejection cut deep, and the thought that as soon as they exited the forest she would again try to separate from him had him jumping from idea to idea, trying to figure out a way to make her stay.
“Ardan—”
“Shush.” He kept his voice low. “We may not be alone here. I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure how I feel about trusting our safety to a handful of flowers.”
It was more than just being alert and staying sharp in case there were others in the tunnels. He also couldn’t bear to hear her speak.
The little fairy woman’s last words echoed in his head. Take care of our little rose. She is a prize beyond compare. Far more than a common soldier like you deserves. What had Thorn kept from him? What more pain was in store?
The tunnel ceiling dipped low, and he had to hunch down and walk with his head and shoulders bent at an uncomfortable angle. He rolled his head from side to side, trying to ease the strain.
“Look out!”
Triton responded to Thorn’s call, jerking the reins and tugging Ardan back with him, saving him from nearly slipping into the deep chasm suddenly at their feet.
Blood thundering in his ears, he cautiously moved back to the edge and stared down into the depths. He called for light, sending the tiny glowing globe down into the dark.
“What can you see?”
The tunnel here was narrow and Thorn had to push her way past the stallion to come up to where both he and Triton watched the little light floating down, illuminating yard after yard of steep rough cut stone walls. It was almost out of sight when it stopped at the bottom.
Thorn’s face was pale. “Are those skeletons?”
He nodded. “I guess we need to be more careful. I should have realized there would be traps.” He called back the globe and looked across the gap as the light rose to hover in the air above the fifty foot drop below. “It’s not too wide, but I don’t think either of us can jump it. We need a way across.”
“Look there, I think I see a ledge.” A narrow lip of rock jutted out from the side of the wall bridging the chasm. We might be able to cross it, with lots of luck and some magic, but what do we do about Triton?” She nodded at the side of the wall.
He eyed the skinny piece of rock. “It’s barely big enough, but I think you’re right. We might be able to get across, but Triton will never fit.”
His globe came sailing back into view and he sent it a few yards ahead. “The way looks clear after this.”
“What about expanding your shield to hold you to the wall.”
His shield was very good at keeping people out, but keeping himself in place? “I don’t think I can do that. Can you?”
“I think I can.” She nodded. “If you can’t, I’ll send my shield with you first. And I think, between the two of us, we can form a bridge for Triton to cross.”
He gave her a hard glance. She was stronger than him, he’d known that. But how strong was her magic really? Had he underestimated her powers? And what about relying on her as a person?
She’d tried to save him from Aoife and she’d come to rescue him when he’d been in the Golden Court’s jail, but now, after what Buttercup had said and Thorn’s rejection of him last night—his faith had been shaken.
Ardan looked down into the pit. Last night he thought he’d found his match, now he had to trust this woman with his life. He wasn’t sure he could—or should.
“I’ll keep you safe. I’ll keep you both safe.”
He hesitated.
A look that might have been pain flashed over Thorn’s set features so fast, he wasn’t even sure he saw it. “I swear, you’ll be fine.”
The fae couldn’t lie. They could deceive, manipulate, and confuse, but not outright lie. He took one more look at her face in the pale light of the globes and went to the drop off. A warm glow came from Thorn as she placed her own personal shield over his own.
Her magic had a tingle, like hot cinnamon candy melting on his tongue. Feeling her magic touching his skin was like touching her while making love and he flushed.
Ardan shook off the memories. But the feeling stayed with him as he put his back to the cold rough stone and edged out, sliding first one foot. And then the next. A pressure came from Thorn’s shield, as it took its place lying along the entire front of his body and holding him close to the wall. He forced himself not to look down as he took the first step sliding sideways over the shaft.
Step by step, inch by inch, he made his way across the drop-off. Sweat built up on his back, sliding down his spine. Finally, he made it and took the last jump to solid ground.
He turned back to Thorn and grinned in relief. “You’re next.”
Something like indecision crossed her face. It kicked him in the gut as he realized that after all of his actions, everything he’d done, she still didn’t trust him. For a moment he wasn’t sure she was going to come. But then she gave herself a little shake and her face smoothed over into the stranger’s he’d woken up to this morning.
Again the pain of her rejection shook him as the heat of her shield lifted, leaving him suddenly bereft and alone on his side of the shaft.
“Ready?”
“Ready.” She raised her shield and inched her way around the lip of the pit. As soon as her feet touched solid ground, a quick smile lit her face. “Made it.” For a moment he saw the woman he’d come to know over the past few days and then she was gone. “Now Triton.”
Her power flowed into his and he gasped. Sharing her magic was like touching Thorn, feeling her touch as they’d made love. He gasped.
“Are you okay.”
He couldn’t respond and simply nodded, wondering when this feeling of pain would go away.
. He had to get control of himself, he’d been hurt before and he’d recovered. He could do it again.
“Ardan?”
“I’m okay.” The two of their powers laced together in a blue and lavender glow of light that seemed almost solid. He took th
e merged power and directed it across the gap, forming a bridge. “Come on, Triton.” The steed whinnied, and shook his head. “Come on, idiot, we have to go.”
“We’ve got you.” Thorn sent more power and the bridge took on a stronger almost purple glow.
They worked so well together, how was it she wanted to leave? If he knew whatever it was she was holding back, would he feel the same way?
He was so distracted by the almost sensual feel of linking his powers with Thorn’s that he almost missed Triton’s magic massing. When the stallion gathered his hindquarters and made the leap, Ardan barely responded in time, jumping and shoving Thorn out of the way. Their powers sparked as the bridge broke, his Gift recoiling back into him. They rolled out of the way as Triton’s hooves flashed by, barely missing their heads.
“Are you insane?” Ardan got to his feet, rounding on the stallion. “You could have killed us. You could have crushed Thorn.”
Triton merely winked and stood waiting for them, twitching his tail slowly back and forth.
“It’s okay, Ardan. We’re fine, he’s fine.” Thorn’s face was white against the black of the stone walls. “Let’s just get moving.” She brushed past him heading down the tunnel.
He wanted to ask her what she was thinking. He wanted to beg her to tell him the truth, what had changed? Why did the lesser fae think she was something special, something else? But the danger of their surroundings kept him mute.
Instead, all he said was, “Let’s go.” Then he moved on into the dark.
It wasn’t much farther before he walked through a shimmering force field, the tingle telling him they’d crossed a time barrier. His time sense kicked in again. It should have been a relief, but all he could think was that his time with her was nearly at an end.
The tunnel floor angled up, and they spiraled back up and out along what looked like the exact same route, only backwards. This time the obstacle of the pit was easily transversed and they emerged into the shadows of boulders that looked very similar to the location they had entered. But now the trees of the Black Forest were bare and black with near winter chill and the cloud of ravens were gone.
“When are we? Are we back when we left?” Thorn asked. “This looks the same, but everything is just a little different. Look, that rock’s moved and the dead tree is gone.”
“We’re in our own time now. More or less.” A deep sadness settled inside Ardan. Their trip into the past had cost them weeks. Instead of nearly a month left, he had only days to find the queen.
Thorn frowned. “My sense of time is still not right. I think it’s later than when we were here before.”
Suddenly he wasn’t sure he could stand to be around her anymore. The push and pull of his emotions had him exhausted and all he wanted to do was get her somewhere safe and crawl away to lick his wounds.
He swung up on Triton and offered his hand. “Come on, let’s get out of here as fast as we can.”
She swung up behind him, and even that was bittersweet as he realized this was likely the last time she would ever be this close.
The wilting buttercups held up and they wound their way through the forest without trouble.
Out of nowhere she asked, “Where will you take me?”
“Home, back to the north. I have a friend there and she’ll keep you safe while I try to find the queen.” There was a reasonably flat open spot and he took the time to send out feelers, making sure they were alone, before getting ready to open the portal.
“Will your friend help you with the rest of your quest?”
“No. She has a dragon for a husband. He doesn’t like me very much.”
“What are you going to do? Go back to Aoife’s?”
“You don’t get it.” He clenched his fists, feeling her inches away from his back. Too close, and yet he wasn’t ready for her to be gone yet. “I’m done, Thorn. I’m not strong enough to kill the queen on my own.”
“Aoife was.”
“Yes, but she was also ready to sacrifice you. And I’m not going to do that.” He couldn’t bear to look at her.
“You’ll fail your quest.”
“I’ve already failed.”
“You’ll be branded a criminal.”
“Yes.” He wished she cared. He wished that even though this was to be his fate he could run away with her to another world and start over. But she didn’t want to be with him, and nothing would change that. At least he had a few days head start on the hunt Bosco would no doubt open on his own head.
“Ardan, I can’t let that happen.”
“Well you can’t stop it.” He twisted around in the saddle and faced her. “I’ll take you to Siobhan and her dragon lord. Then I’ll leave Underhill. There are other worlds out there, places where no one will care that I pissed off a prince or failed his quest.” He took her hand and stared at the fading yellow flowers. “And you’ll be safe.”
“No.”
Startled at the vehemence in her voice he finally looked her in the face. “It’s the only choice, Thorn.”
“No. It’s not.”
For the first time since that morning he saw the Thorn he’d come to love and not the stranger who’d pushed him away. This Thorn—with her head held high and her eyes shining with purpose—was the strong woman who cared about him and had his back.
“Ardan, I have something to tell you. You haven’t failed your quest. I’m Aeval, Princess of the Black Court. And I may even somehow be the Black Queen.”
His head whirled as he stared into her eyes and realized—she was telling the truth.
THORN WATCHED THE EMOTIONS swiftly changing on Ardan’s face. Shock, denial. And finally, anger. His grip on her hand tightened. She’d finally told him and the look on his face was squeezing her heart and it hurt, much more than the pain in her hand.
“What are you talking about? You told me your name was Thorn. You can’t be the Black Queen.” He let go of her hand like it burned.
“I told you to call me Thorn, but it’s never been my name. I’ve known I was Aeval since that first day.”
“You’ve known this since the beginning?” He stopped the horse and got down, pulling off his helmet and tossing it to the side. He ran a hand through his long hair and pushed it back off his face. “You said you couldn’t remember anything. I saw into your memories. They simply weren’t there.”
“I’ve known my name, just that, Aeval. And that memory of me as a little girl, that’s been one of the few to return. But last night I had a dream I was dancing in my father’s ballroom. And when I woke up, I knew.” She swallowed. “I’m Princess Aeval.”
His face had lost all color. “You’ve known since this morning. That’s what was so fucked up.” He stepped away, nearly at the edge of the buttercups’ shielding influence. “Why wait until now? Why not tell me this morning?”
“I was going to leave without you. It seemed easier. But I can’t let you become a renegade because of me. Or worse, have them hunt you down and kill you.”
“Don’t pretend you care.” His eyes glinted like chips of steel. “If you cared, you would have told me your name already. You’ve had plenty of chances. And you would have told me your dream this morning.”
She leaned from Triton’s back, reaching towards him, but he backed away. “Ardan, listen. I loved being Thorn. She had no past and only possibilities for a future. Aeval was someone who was locked up, chased, confused. I didn’t know who she was and I still don’t. But when I was Thorn, I could be whoever I wanted to be.”
“You were going to leave without telling me.” His eyes grew wide. “You thought I’d kill you.”
“I didn’t want to put you in that position, having to make a choice.”
“Because you don’t trust me. Well, I guess I can see why.” His face twisted. “How could you trust me when you can’t even trust yourself?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t even know what to say.” His hands shook as he stood there staring at her with betra
yal written all over his face.
Thorn’s stomach clenched. “I didn’t know, Ardan, not until this morning.”
She’d wanted to protect him, but looking at him she realized she’d done nothing but hurt him instead. All she wanted to do was rush over to him and reassure him that she’d made a mistake, but she was fixing it now. But he’d shut down, retreating back into that hard soldier’s shell.
“I loved you.” He took a deep breath, his voice breaking. “I would have done anything for you, including sacrifice my entire life.”
“You loved me?” Her whole body stilled. Not love, but loved.
“I was an idiot.” The look of disgust on his face made her wince. “Let’s go.” He grabbed Triton’s reins and began to walk. “Those flowers won’t last much longer and we need to get all the way out of the forest before they die.”
The pain in her stomach radiated up into her chest. Was this what heartbreak felt like? Like she’d broken something that could never be glued back together?
She stared at the rigid line of his back. She’d messed everything up. Everything. By trying to keep herself safe, by trying to keep Ardan safe, she’d hurt him. Deeply.
Chapter Twenty-nine
The walk out of the forest was excruciating for Thorn. She tried to distract herself from the disaster she’d just caused by exploring the bits of memory that had come back to her, but there wasn’t much there. Just the ball. Nothing else. And even that was only bits and pieces. A few excited feelings, an encounter on the dance floor. In fact, not really much at all. She didn’t know anything that would help them. And she still didn’t know if she really was the Queen of the Black Court or just a stray princess.
By the time they reached the forest’s edge, where the large trees gave way to thin saplings and the thick tangled undergrowth became thin grass, she was exhausted. They’d had to go on foot for much of the last bit. Her bare feet were sore and bleeding and her heart was torn.
Ardan waved at a reasonably clear spot. “We’ll camp here.”
She gave him a tentative smile, but he turned away and set up the tent. She went to the saddle bags and got out supplies and started the fire.
Bespelled: A Fae Fantasy Romance (Fae Magic Book 5) Page 18