Cowboys Don't Ride Unicorns

by Tara Lain

  Laurie almost laughed. Sneaked that one in there. “Uh, no, I don’t.”

  A funny little grin played across Danny’s lips. “So what did your family think—?”

  Laurie’s phone rang in his pocket. “Hmm. I suspect this is a speak-of-the-devil moment.” He pulled the phone out and smiled. “Hi, Mama.”

  “Hello, dear. Where are you?”

  “About to ride a gorgeous horse, watching a gorgeous sunrise.” He didn’t mention the gorgeous cowboy. “I notice you’re up early.”

  “Yes. We can’t all afford to play on horses all day.” She laughed. She knew as well as anyone that getting Laurie out of his office was harder than pulling fleas off an English sheepdog. “So before I leave for the office, I wanted to tell you I’ve found two more possible venues for the reception. I assume you have web access?”

  Oh crap. “Mama, I’m really trying not to work. I promised Grove.”

  “Let me talk to him.”

  Pause. “He’s not here right now.”

  “What do you mean? Where is he?”

  “He slept in as usual, and I went riding, uh, alone.”

  “Alone? Dear God, you haven’t been to that godforsaken country before. You can’t—”

  “I have a guide, dear. I meant I went riding without Grove. I’m a better rider, and I can’t really enjoy myself when he’s with me—on horseback, I mean.”

  “Well, don’t tell him that!”

  “He knows it without my telling him.”

  “Laurie, does a woman have to tell you how to hold on to your man? For God sake, if you ever want to be able to start your own firm—”

  Been here. Done this. “I know, dear. But I never get vacation. Grove loves to sleep in and I don’t, so I’m allowed to have some fun while he’s doing what he wants to do.”

  “Laurie—”

  “Send me the files on the venues, Mama. And send them to Grove’s e-mail too. He has his laptop here—of course. I have to go. It’s time for our ranch breakfast.”

  “Honey, did you talk to Grove about hurrying up the timeline on the takeover situation?”

  Shit! No, I’ve been too busy pissing Grove off. “No, dear. But I will today. I promise. Okay?”

  “I’m so sorry to have to trouble you with this on your vacation. Tell Grove I’m sorry too.”

  “I will, dear.”

  “Don’t eat too much. Must keep that boyish figure.” She said it in a cute singsong, but it still rubbed his fur the wrong way.

  “Talk later, dear. Bye.”

  He slid the phone back in his pocket and tried to ignore the heat of Danny’s eyes on him.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yes. She just loves to worry about me.”

  “That’s nice.”

  “Yes.”

  They rode onto the ranch and trotted the horses to the stable. Across the open area, Nora and Elena walked toward the ranch house. They both waved and smiled.

  Laurie smiled back.

  Danny didn’t.

  WHEN THEY led the horses toward the stable, the part-time stable hand, Pauly, stood grinning in the entrance. “I’ll tend to them, boss. You go have breakfast.”

  “Did you eat already?”

  “Yeah. Kai’s here, so he’s at the table too.” Kai was Pauly’s hero—a genuine paniolo or Hawaiian cowboy.

  “Okay. Thanks.” Danny pulled off his hat, whacked it against his slightly dusty jeans, then shoved it back on. He’d just as soon stay in the stable as go eat with the guests. Yeah, that sounds career limiting. Might as well get on with it.

  He grabbed a straw, stuck it in his mouth, and walked silently beside Laurie toward the ranch house—which felt like a kick in the gut after the friendly camaraderie they’d shared all morning. But something about that damned phone call bugged him. It sounded like Grove must be a favorite of Laurie’s family, even if Laurie didn’t live with him—and it sure seemed as if Laurie was trying to pretend he wasn’t with Danny. The whole thing made him feel weird and stupid and really illicit. Like he was doing something wrong. What about flirting with another man’s boyfriend—who also happens to be a guest—isn’t wrong, asshole?

  At the ranch house, Laurie walked ahead and burst through the door. Danny came in just in time to see him kissing Grove on the cheek and then shaking hands with Kai. Laurie pulled out a chair next to Grove, sat, and sort of snuggled against him.

  Kai nodded to Danny. Even compared to Rand, Kai didn’t talk much. Rand joked that back in Hawaii, Kai’s friends said he’d watched High Plains Drifter too many times. But the guy had protected his brother and sister for so long, his instinct was to hide. His beautiful face always vied between fierce and friendly, but these days, friendly was winning.

  Danny forced a smile. “Kai, glad you’re home. How was school?”

  “Great.” His dark eyes lit up.

  Aliki sat next to his brother. “He got an A on his exam.”

  Danny nodded. “Congrats, man.”

  “Thanks.”

  Danny walked to the only open seat, which put him opposite and a couple of folks down from Grove and Laurie. Grove stared at him, and not in a good way.

  Nora wiped her lips with her napkin, removing bits of cheese enchilada. “So you went riding this morning. Must have been beautiful. We just can’t get up that early.”

  Danny nodded. “It’s okay. It gave me a chance to give Laurie a good workout on Star Sight.”

  Rand raised an eyebrow, “How’d you do, Laurie?”

  “I loved it. I’m very appreciative of Danny letting me ride her.”

  Danny tried to assume his best teacher face. “He did great. Even though he learned on all those fancy saddles, he’s got a natural seat for Western.”

  Nora chuckled. “Now that sounds positively risqué.”

  Danny’s face heated, but Laurie laughed. “Yes, ma’am. I have a natural cowboy butt.”

  Aliki snorted, Lani giggled, and the tension broke. Grove, however, never really smiled at Danny.

  Danny took another bite of enchiladas and eggs. Come on, man, you’re better than this. Grove and Laurie will be out of here in a week. This job is—well, it means a lot. Do it. He cleared his throat. “I’m planning a field trip and wanted to see if anyone’s interested.” He glanced at Laurie. “I happen to know that someone in the group is crazy about antique stores and used furniture places.”

  Laurie’s face lit up like a July Fourth celebration.

  “So I was thinking that tomorrow, I’d take anyone who wants to go into town for some antiquing and lunch. Who wants to go?”

  Laurie’s hand shot up. “Me. Me!” He laughed. Then looked at Grove. “You want to come too, don’t you, dear?

  Grove glanced at Danny. “Sure.”

  Nora exchanged a quiet word with Elena. “We’d love to go too, Danny.”

  Andy and his dad hadn’t said anything. Lani gave her quiet smile. “I’d like to go if it’s okay, Uncle Danny.”

  “You’re more than welcome, sweetheart.”

  Andy glanced at her. “Count me in too.”

  Arthur Landsdowne looked at Andy, then at Rand. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay behind and spend some time on my riding—so I don’t hold Andy back, and maybe we can ride together sometimes after we go home.”

  Andy gave his dad’s arm a pat. “You ride fine, Dad.”

  “I’d like to ride better, and I’m not much on antiques.”

  Rand nodded. “Fine by me. Antique hunting gives me hives.” They all laughed. “But I think it’s a great idea. Thanks for thinking of it, Danny.” They exchanged a glance that gave Danny a warm glow.

  Aliki crossed his arms over his chest. “Will there be ice cream?”

  Danny grinned. “Are cowboys bowlegged?”

  “You aren’t.”

  Danny leaned over and gave him a tickle on the ear. “Yes, there will be ice cream. And craft beer for those who like it. Chico’s a birthplace for chichi beer.”

  Laur
ie clapped his hands like a kid. “Oh man, I can’t wait.”

  Shit. At least Danny’d done something right.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “MAN, THIS ice cream is great. Thanks, Uncle Danny.”

  “You’re welcome, Aliki.” Danny sat back on the bench, gazing around the little park in the center of downtown Chico. Big trees, a pretty fountain, food vendors—none compared to the sight of Laurie licking his ice cream cone as he wandered from kiosk to sidewalk vendor, inspecting their goods. He’d left off his western gear today, so Danny got a better look at the “real” Laurie, dressed in slim linen pants and a body-skimming jersey top that clung in all the most distracting places. What a body. Greyhound thin, but the soft jersey showed the slight bulge of his pecs and even the hint of a six-pack. Down, boy. Yeah, way down, since Laurie held firmly to Grove’s arm even though Grove looked bored beyond belief and kept checking his cell phone.

  They’d spent the morning prowling from antique shop to collectibles sales, and Danny got to see Laurie’s professional mode as he bought items and tossed off his business card. “Just deliver these to Armisted Designs.” Lani had found a beautiful pair of blue stone earrings, and Andy bought them for her, much to her amazed delight. Aliki hadn’t been enthralled with the stores, but he’d found some antique games that interested him.

  “What’s next, Uncle Danny?” Aliki crunched the last bite of his cone and wiped his hands on his jeans. Those would need the wash.

  Laurie and Grove arrived beside Aliki at that moment. Laurie smiled. “Yes, what’s next, Uncle Danny?”

  Grove flashed an annoyed expression.

  Danny, on the other hand, could fall into Laurie’s smile. “Uh, I read about this sort of antiques mall. We haven’t been there yet.”

  Aliki kind of stuck out a lip. “Aww, isn’t there something more fun?”

  Grove sighed. “I’m with you, kid.”

  Laurie gave him back the annoyed look but still kept clinging to him like a barnacle.

  Danny grinned. “I happen to know that there’s a National Yo-Yo Museum not far from the antiques mall, so we could drop you there.”

  Elena looked up from the last of her pistachio in a cup. “I’ll go with you, Aliki. I’m not much for shopping either.”

  “Cool!”

  Danny set off through the park with his eclectic parade—two stalwart lesbian ladies, two beautiful Hawaiian kids, a smitten teenager, a businessman reeking of money and power, a creature so exotic and gorgeous he should come from another planet, and one broken-down saddle tramp. People stared, mostly at Laurie, and they had every right to.

  On the other side of the park, they found the Yo-Yo Museum located inside a storefront. Danny waved an arm. “Yo-Yo Museum. Who wants to go?” Aliki and Elena stepped forward. Andy stared in the front of the place, jam-packed with yo-yos. “I’d kind of like to see this too.” He looked at Lani. “Would you mind?”

  “No, it looks like fun. I’ll come too.”

  “You sure?”

  Nora said, “You and I can girl-shop, Lani. You don’t have to get stuck with any old yo-yos.”

  “No, I’d love to see them.” She smiled and touched her earrings shyly. “Want to stay with us, Nora?”

  Nora shook her head. “You can’t drag me from shopping, folks! I’m a professional. Don’t try this at home.”

  Elena laughed, which she didn’t do a lot, so everyone laughed with her. “Trust this woman. She tells the truth.”

  Danny nodded. “Okay, me, Nora, Laurie, and Grove will go keep the antiques mall in business.”

  Grove muttered, “Shit, that’s the truth.” Still, he kept walking beside Laurie until they found the big warehouse building, full of small kiosks and stalls, just down the street.

  Nora looked around avidly. “Don’t hold me back, boys. I’ll meet up with you in a while.”

  Danny glanced at Grove and Laurie. He’d planned this outing to please the guests, but he didn’t seem to be making Grove happy just by being around. “Why don’t you two go shop and I’ll wander on my own? Look at cowboy stuff.”

  Grove flicked his eyes up from his cell phone. “Sure. Great.”

  Laurie didn’t say anything, which kind of itched under Danny’s skin, but what the hell. He cut to his left and started conspicuously down a different aisle from the power couple. What the hell am I going to do at an antiques mall?

  He wandered through the crowded row of stalls, barely looking at the old desks and tables and knickknacks out the butt. At the turn to the next aisle, he stopped. A booth featured a collection of cowboy hats. Okay, more interesting. He stepped inside and browsed through the rows of great wannabe cowboy hats with fancy beading and bands. Had nothing against bands, they just added cost. He was turning to leave when his eyes caught a back corner of the booth where five hats were displayed on an old dresser. Holy shit. In the middle of the group sat a black fur felt bull rider’s hat that looked to be old. Like he was approaching an altar, Danny walked up to the hat.

  “May I help you, mister?”

  Danny glanced at an old man with a creased face and well-worn straw hat that might have been a mate to Danny’s own. “This is some hat.”

  “Yep. Custom-made. Might’a been one of Jim Sharp’s, but I can’t prove it so I don’t claim it.” He gave Danny a once-over. “You a bull rider, son?”

  “Yes, sir. Was, mostly.”

  “Well, as you can see, this here hat is perfect.”

  The soft lilting voice froze his spine. “How much is that hat, sir?”

  The old guy looked up, and his eyes widened. “Well, young lady—” He paused. “Sorry.” He frowned.

  “No offense taken, I assure you.”

  “This here hat’s three hundred and fifty dollars.”

  Laurie smiled. “I think you should have it.”

  Danny tipped his straw hat. “Too rich for my blood.”

  “Pity. You and that hat were made for each other.”

  Danny nodded at the old cowboy. “Thanks so much for showing it to me.”

  “I’d make a special deal for you, son.”

  “Afraid I need my small budget for more practical things, but thank you.”

  Laurie gave a little shriek. “Oh God, look at that hat!” He bounded across the booth, picked up a huge black picture hat with giant pink flowers, and balanced it on his pretty head. He struck a pose. “What do you think?”

  Shit. The rose-gold hair draped around his shoulders, setting off the hat—but nothing could make that face prettier. Can’t improve on perfection.

  Laurie laughed and turned to the array of women’s hats.

  The old cowboy gave Danny a look out of the corner of his eyes. “He a friend of yours?”

  A quiver ran up Danny’s back, and his stomach turned. “Uh, he’s a guest at the ranch where I work.”

  “Guest?”

  “Yeah. It’s a guest ranch. You know, like a dude ranch.”

  “Oh. That makes sense, then—I guess.”

  Danny released his breath long and slow. He a friend of yours? Shit, the last time he heard those words, he wound up nearly dead. “Yeah. I’m taking a bunch of them on a field trip to the antique shops. Don’t know shit about antiques, but it makes them happy.”

  The old guy laughed and slapped Danny’s shoulder. “A job’s a job, man. Right?”

  “Yeah.” He laughed. You’re a chickenshit coward.

  Laurie came back laughing and flipping his hair. “Thank you so much for letting me play. You have beautiful hats.” He leaned over and kissed the old guy on his half-shaven cheek, then swished away toward the next booth.

  Danny glanced at the man, whose eyes looked like pale-blue bloodshot saucers, and he had a little grin on his face. Danny suppressed his smile. Not quite so homophobic as you thought, right, asshole? “Thanks.” He walked after Laurie.

  When he caught up, Laurie was running his hands over an old table. It looked like it might have come out of some Victorian home or somethi
ng. Danny cocked his head. “Kind of old-fashioned, isn’t it? Do your clients like that kind of thing?”

  Laurie looked up and then back at the table. “Picture this. A large open-concept home with polished stone floors. Middle Eastern rugs. Big windows. This table stands in the dining area with ultramodern, maybe Lucite, chairs around it. In the great room, the couches are comfortable but contemporary, and the space is a mix of antiques and modern décor. How does that sound?”

  Danny stared at him. “Wow. Friggin’ wow. It sounds perfect. Beautiful.”

  Laurie smiled his ball-busting display of teeth.

  “No wonder your clients love you.”

  “Thanks.” His smile faded. “I just wish they’d love me more and faster.” He started walking down the aisle.

  “Uh, where’s Grove?”

  “Talking on his cell, as usual. I better go get him or he’ll never hang up.”

  “So why don’t you let him finance a business for you? Sorry. I overheard.”

  “Because I want to fucking do it myself.” He looked up with a hint of challenge in his face. “Why do you hoard your money?”

  “What money?” Danny grinned tightly.

  “You must get a paycheck, right? I’d expect most cowboys to blow it on wine, women, and song.”

  Danny shrugged. “Well, I’ve got a crappy voice, I try not to drink too much, and I don’t much like women that way.”

  Laurie’s head snapped up like someone had pulled it on a rubber string. For a second their eyes met; then he blinked and looked away. “Come on, seriously.”

  “I want my own place and—well, I’d like to go to school. I save for that.”

  “Why did you never go to school?”

  Danny tried not to tense. “Education wasn’t a big goal in my family.”

  “When did you—?”

  “Laurie, fuck! There you are.” Grove stomped toward them, still holding his phone in his hand. “Are you going to shop forever? Shit!”

  Laurie tensed, took a deep breath and seemed to make a huge effort, then smiled. “Sorry, baby. You know how I get. Danny had to come and pull me out of the booth.”

  Grove glanced at Danny. “Thanks.” But he didn’t really look friendly.