Chapter 5
Brianna
“Tell me again why did I agree to do this?” I ask Ciara when we are on the way to the get together. I’m just annoyed. I could be shooting or practicing self-defense moves.
“Number one, because you love me and I want to share some fun times with you. Number two, because that eye candy named Colton has been looking at you all day like you are an oasis in the fucking desert. Number three, you need to get laid. Period. You are getting too bitchy for your britches!”
“What makes you think that Colton is a good candidate for me? I don’t know, Ciara. I think he wants me too much, too badly. That would take him off the candidate list for the friends with benefits. Or have you forgotten?”
“No, I have not forgotten. But it’s not like your dance card is full, girl! The man is gorgeous, why don’t you give him a chance? What is really going on, Brianna?”
“I’m attracted to him.” I say in the smallest whisper can manage.
“You WHAT?” Ciara says loudly.
“I’m attracted to him!” I reply a little more clearly.
“OMG! I cannot believe it! Brianna, you have never been attracted – Attracted – to a guy since I have known you! You always refer to guys as ‘he’s hot,’ ‘he’s fine,’ ‘he’s okay.’ Never, have you used the words that just came out of your mouth!”
“I know!” I say completely mortified and sink lower in my seat. “I don’t understand it. He is a lot like an ass and a little sweet, and he’s got a body of muscles, ripples and bulges in all the right places and those eyes! His eyes do something to my insides, they make me feel like I’m on fire. And I… I can’t stop thinking about him, Ciara! That’s why I did not want to go to the party. I’m trying to stay away from him and the hold he’s got on me - It’s hard to resist. He is hard to resist. I just don’t know if I can trust myself. I can’t trust myself when I’m around him! Argh! I’m so frustrated right now. And pissed. And frustrated. This is not supposed to happen. It is not in the plan. When I’m around him, I’m mush. When I’m not around him, I want to be near him. What can I do, help me, please.”
“Whoa! You got it bad! But this doesn’t have to be a freak out moment,” she shakes her head and tries to fake that everything will be okay, when we both know it’s going to be the hardest thing I have had to resist in my life. I’m in for a battle of wills like I have never had before. “We can work with this… This is good. You are 21 and it may be time to let yourself experience what you are feeling, don’t you think?”
“No, Ciara, I cannot let a guy have that kind of hold on me. It’s too much power. I promised myself long ago that no one was ever going to have that kind of power over me. Colton is too… intense.”
“Well, you don’t have to let it get there, especially if it feels uncomfortable. Why not take it slow? Little by little. Enjoy yourself one day at a time. Why run a marathon when all you have to do is cross the street. You are losing it, girl. It really is not that serious.”
“You don’t think so?” I asked her, hopeful.
“We are humans, and as humans we come with this large range of emotions. Sometimes they are hard to control. But we should never let emotions control our behaviors. We are the ultimate handlers of our lives. We need to make conscious decisions at all times. There is nothing wrong for you to decide to have a little fun in your life. In fact, I strongly recommend it. Life’s short, live more, regret less, and build memories. That’s my take on this.”
I silently stare at the road mulling everything over. I am aware of my feelings. I guess that’s important so I can control them and not let them roll off me like a waterfall to a river. There is something different about him, like when we touch – skin on skin, there is that tingle and the heat, and it feels like a very low current coursing through my body, hitting all the right places. And even though I want to stay away from everything that is Colton Hensley, I want to be close to him a whole lot more.
Colton
I hear the doorbell ringing even though the speakers are blasting. I have been waiting for that sound. It’s music to my ears. I look at Traxx, he winks at me and runs to the front door to open it. The pool party is in full swing, I have been polite, but I don’t care for these ‘skeeter girls that are trying to bleed me dry. Barely containing my excitement, I glance quickly at my reflection in the sliding glass doors, I have rubbed a bit of tanning oil all over my upper body, which helps define and display my muscles in a very positive way, my hair is untamed, like most girls have said they like. What is it they call it? Fuck me hair, I think is the proper term. I’m grilling us some hot dogs and burgers, and as she comes through the patio door, my concentration falters and I drop a burger, losing it to the ground. The temperature must have gone up to 110 degrees, ‘cause all of a sudden beads of sweat pop up on my forehead and it’s harder to take a breath. I wipe the sweat with a paper towel, and turn around to see her as she waves hello to me. Ciara grabs her elbow gently and they move towards me.
“Hi Colton, are you tonight’s master chef?” Ciara asks me.
“You can say that. I’m not an expert, but I do enjoy cooking, trying out new recipes, but most of all, tasting them is what gives me most pleasure…” I look at Brianna and realize she is biting her bottom lip. “Brianna, girl, if you don’t stop biting your lip, I will not be responsible for my actions. You are nothing but a whole lot of sexy in that little sundress that showcases your beautiful body.”
“Stop it, Colton!” she blushes an adorable cherry red and gives me a shy smile. “I am a lot of things and beautiful is not one of them.”
I look at Ciara incredulously and she shrugs her shoulders and looks at Brianna and says “Brianna, please don’t talk like that about yourself. Everyone who knows you knows how truly beautiful you really are – inside and out. Look, Colton, can you entertain Brianna for a little bit, I’m going to get us some drinks.”
“Sure thing. There is a full stocked bar in the butler’s pantry area, next to the kitchen.” Then I look at Brianna and ask her “Do you know what you want, Brianna?”
“We brought some things from the liquor store. Ciara’s got me. She knows what I like.” She smiles coyly at me.
“Is that right? Let me see. I don’t think you are a beer kind of girl. Is it Mike’s lemonade, wine coolers?” She is shaking her head no.
“You are not even close. Let me just say that I like my alcohol the same way I like my men – Hot and hard on contact… perhaps you would like one more guess?” And there goes her tongue slowly licking her upper lip.
Dear Lord, have mercy. This girl is killing me. It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to grab her and kiss her – hot and hard – on those full, heart shaped lips. And then more than that to hide the tent that I’m pitching inside my board shorts. Oh, I have ways to show her the different levels of hotness and hardness I can achieve. “Well, then I guess you enjoy drinking hard liquor and mixed drinks?”
She smiles from ear to ear, “Yes,” she says, “I love hard liquor because it makes me feel warm all over. But whatever you do, don’t get me drunk. I am not a very nice girl when I’m drunk.”
“What do you mean, not very nice?” I am super curious now.
“I mean ‘not very nice’ in the sense that I like to fist fight. And I’m good at it – how do you think I came to be called ‘Knuckles’? Your best bet is to keep me on the right side of tipsy.” Then she winks at me. I must say I am hot, bothered and intrigued all at the same time. Hot damn! I have never met anyone like this – ever! Ciara comes back with a tray carrying three shots, two mixed drinks and a beer.
“Here we are! Traxx told me what you have been drinking. I brought some ‘Alabama Slammers’ to get the ball rollin’, a beer for our resident male hotness and Blue Hawaiian for us. Now we must toast and chug the shots!” She hands us each a shot glass filled to the rim and we raise them up high and clink as Ciara toasts “to new friendships!”
“Cheers!” We all say in
unison.
We down the shooters, and I’m steadily looking at Brianna. She is so incredibly beautiful. I feel like a shy kid who’s afraid to say the wrong thing at the wrong time that will cause her to walk away without a second look. When her eyes meet mine, I can feel the attraction and perhaps even desire. This is far away from my territory. I normally don’t care what the girls think about me because there is always one more around the corner throwing herself at me. Brianna flirts and I think she likes me, but sometimes her actions contradicts that, like when she is trying to avoid me. However, we made progress today. I don’t want to push her too hard.
Ciara hands us our drinks and pulls her away, saying something about mingling and seeing everyone. As they are walking away, Brianna looks over her shoulder and gives me a small smile and waves. This is certainly not over, it is barely the beginning.
Brianna
I have been glancing at Colton as discreetly as possible all night long. We have been playing dominoes and dipping in and out of the pool to cool off. I must confess that he could be a fitness model because his muscles are so defined and his body is the perfect size in my eyes. There is no denying that there is some sort of attraction between us, and I have no doubt we could have fun together, but he seems a little bit more interested than I care for him to be. It scares me. I don’t do serious relationships. Hell, I don’t even date. I don’t need that type of distraction in my life. But maybe we could have just a little fun together. Ciara seems to think that it could work. She says all those guys are pure man-whores, love them and leave them kind of guys, so why can’t I treat them the same way they treat us girls? He sure has a body made for exploring, and adventures, both in and out of bed.
As I am sitting there thinking of the many different ways I can show him how to explore his body, I see him come my way.
Crap. Play it cool, Brianna, play it cool…
“What in the world are you thinking about that is keeping you miles away in your head?”
“Nothing much. Hey, I have not had a chance to tell you what a good job you did on those burgers, they were delicious.” Just like you.
“Oh, really? Glad you liked them. I am a pretty good cook. What’s your favorite type of food?
Anything that involves all the succulent parts of your body. “I am easy to please. I love Mexican, and Italian and Chinese – in that order.” I smile like my life depends on it.
“Really? Would you let me cook for you sometime?”
“Perhaps.” As long as I can eat the food off your rock hard body and a lot of tasting of things edible and not edible are allowed. “What do you have in mind?” I consciously lick my lips and he stares intently at my mouth.
“How about you let me entertain you one evening, I cook, we chat, get to know each other better… You won’t even have to do the dishes.” He winks and looks at me expectantly.
I just can’t do it. I cannot entangle myself with anyone. Classes need to be my priority, my numero uno. Besides, if he or anyone ever finds out about my past, they will hate me. They will not listen to the whole story and they will hate me and judge me. I will be banished to the nothingness I am so familiar with. I just can’t take the chance. I don’t ever want him to look at me in any way other than the way he has been looking at me since I met him.
“Nah. I don’t think that is a good idea, Colton. I don’t do dates. I don’t date, I don’t do relationships.” If looks could kill, I would be dead. Crap! Please don’t hate me…
“Whoa! Hold it, girl! Who said anything about dating? Better yet, who said anything about relationships!?” Oh, yeah. I saw this one coming.
“I know you didn’t… yet. I have been here before and there have been others before you. I don’t know why but they are always ‘it’s just a friend kind of deal’ and then the deal goes South in a very fast way. They want more and more of me and it gets to the point they want it all. I guess I have something that just drives guys to the brink of crazyville. I don’t want that to be the case for you and me.” I shrug my shoulders as I say this in the most matter of fact way I can.
He guffaws at me. Very, very loud. “Brianna, I can’t believe you just said that. I never heard anything as funny as this shit - ever. What, are you addictive or do you emit a drug of some kind? Yes, you are very pretty and sometimes you can be nice, but I don’t see how in the hell would I get so attached to you just from having dinner together. Please, do not insult my intelligence.” Then he turns serious and looks at me with a frown. “Okay?”
“Okay. I guess this shit is settled. You think I’m joking and I am not. My original answer stands. I guess I deserve this for trying to be honest with you. I was way off and wrong as hell. Excuse me, your assholiness, I think is time for me to go.”
“Brianna, wait a minute. Let’s talk this out. I probably sounded a bit more upset than what I am, really. I did not mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted, but it does not change my answer.” He grabs me by the arm, and as I am about to reach for my pocket knife, I tell him in the most calm voice I have, “You need to get your hand off my arm right this second, or I am not responsible for my actions in regards to your unwanted gesture.” I stare at him hard. It works. He lets go and raises his palms up in defeat.
“Fine. We are done for now.” He smiles sincerely. “I will earn your trust. Eventually, you will let me in. We are going to be great friends, Brianna. You and I are yet to be.”
I give him a tight lip smile and turn to go get Ciara and escape. Running away from the most real feelings I have ever had in my life. Running away from something that terrifies me and excites me all at once. But this is not my first time running. And it probably won’t be my last.
Chapter 6
Brianna
“I promise you, it will be fun!” Ciara is at it again.
“Those are somebody’s famous last words.” I tell her without looking at her. My nose has been buried in a book since last night. I have no interest to collide with the world. I’m pissed at myself.
“Brianna, you are being ridiculous. It’s a Saturday night. We are going out. None of this ‘I want to read and stay home’ business, since when did you turn 60?” She looks at me incredulously. “I’m going to your closet and getting your clothes ready. You go take a shower. You know you always feel better after a shower. Hell, take a bubble bath. We have time.”
Exasperated, I sigh loudly, “I don’t really want to deal with crowds and especially don’t want to deal with guys.” There is only one guy I want and I can’t have him. Crud.
“You need a distraction after last night’s fiasco. Those romance novels are not going to push him out of your mind. Trust me. This place we are going to is actually pretty low key. You will like it.”
“What is this place?” Now I’m suspicious.
“We are going to a place that has Karaoke night, but plays dance music sets in between. It’s called ‘Twisted’.” She looks at me pleading. I’m shaking my head no, I know where this is going… “Oh, no. Negative! Not happening!”
“Brianna! It’s $500 dollars! You can do it! You’ve done it before! Please!?” She is pouting now. Shit.
“Why? You don’t need the money! Why do I have to do it?”
“Because! Number one, I can’t sing, if I do all the dogs in the neighborhood will howl. Number two, it’s fun and will get you lots of attention. Number three, we will put the money in our ‘Rainy Day’ account – after a celebration drink. You can’t ever have too much money in an emergency fund. Don’t you agree?” She has been pacing around the living room while she recites all this. She has practiced the speech, the little shit.
“What am I supposed to sing? I haven’t even practiced!” I practically yell at her.
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