“Fine. Good night Brianna, and thanks for being my friend. I can always count on you to bring me back down a few notches.” She smiles at me and I smile back. I turn to leave the room, engaging the lock on my way out in case any one particular person tries to come in. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
I walk to the restroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. Everything seems to be in order, so why do I feel so restless? Moving quietly to the empty side of the bed, I take off the shirt and lay down facing Colton. Is this really happening? My boyfriend is Colton-fucking-Hensley. When I decide to do something I obviously go big. He is one of the most popular guys on campus. Can I allow myself to be happy? My life is actually as I always dreamed it could be. I never thought I could be in a real relationship. Colton thought the same thing, and now we fit so well together. Then again, all this relationship stuff is new. He has been patient with me these last few days and has not drilled me with questions that I can’t answer quite yet. Will I be able to avoid telling him all the ugly details of my past?
There are no monsters under the bed or the closet, but they are out there lurking within the shadows waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. I cannot be careless. I will always look over my shoulder and must continue to be vigilant, because Jesse is real and he will come after me when I least expect it.
The full moon is shining through the window, filling the room with dainty light. I touch Colton’s warm hand and rub it calmly and softly. He barely opens his sleepy eyes and smiles at me, then grabs my hand and pulls me closer. I lay my head in the nook of his arm and breathe in his scent. I try to put all the plaguing thoughts about Traxx and Ciara, magic sticks, monsters and whatnots aside. I decide that yes, at this moment, I like my life very much and pray it will stay this way for a long time.
Chapter 15
Brianna
It has been almost a month and everything has been going great between Colton and I. We have had plenty of fun within our group of friends and by ourselves. Lately we have not seen each other as much as we want to because football season has started. The guys have been overwhelmed with drills and practice. When they are finally free, it’s late or they are too tired to do much.
Ciara has had a great time flirting with Traxx, much to Colton’s chagrin. It all has been very tame. Traxx does behave more like a human than a dog when he is around Ciara, but I have seen him in action outside our group and he is still the same ol’ Traxx. Notso was also trying to get Ciara’s attention, but ever since Keagan has joined our little group more regularly, Ciara and Notso have mostly become best buds. He really is a great guy and we girls love him very much. There is also the little known fact that Keagan is smitten with Notso, but I think he is afraid that Traxx will smother him in his sleep if he makes a move towards his cousin. The looks that they give one another are hilarious.
In the meantime, Ciara and I have become good friends with Keagan. She is a tiny roadrunner, always doing something or participating in some kind of fundraiser that inevitably we all wind up participating in. She is also a great cook and we meet at the guys’ place often where she displays her exceptional culinary skills. Ciara and I have learned a lot from her, and it has helped us to stop eating out at fast food restaurants, instead we eat more healthy stuff that we prepare ourselves.
Tonight we’re all going to a tailgate party before the Homecoming game. Carrie’s family owns a huge camper trailer, and they invited us to come over, play games, hang out and eat before kickoff. We are making a huge batch of potato salad to bring over and share with everyone.
“I will boil the eggs as I’m sure I can’t mess that up. You guys can peel and cut the potatoes.” Says Ciara with a big smile, like we are going to let her get away with it.
“Ciara, there is a potato peeler for everyone, go ahead and grab one, because you are not going to get away with doing only the easy job. If we get wrinkly hands from potato juice, you’re gonna get wrinkly hands too.” I tell her and Keagan snickers right behind me.
“Fine! But you know I hate peeling potatoes! It takes me twice the amount of time to do one than what it takes you guys!”
“Ciara, that happens because you always try to do the easiest thing. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.” Keagan tells her and Ciara rolls her eyes because we all know she just didn’t want to do it.
“Sooo, Keagan, who taught you how to cook?” Ciara asks her.
“Our housekeeper, Tina. I was rather lonely after my mother left us, and I spent a lot of time in the kitchen watching her do her thing. When I got a little older, she would let me help her prepare our meals. I was able to learn all the basics of cooking and baking, and while I am not a connoisseur in the kitchen, I can certainly handle my own.” Keagan smiles proudly at us.
“How old were you when your mom left?”
“I was nine. One day she announced that she did not belong in the boondocks – meaning our house outside of suburbia - and that she deserved better. The funny thing is that she had everything she ever wanted. My daddy has always made plenty of money, so I feel that was just a big fat lie. I don’t know what the real reasons were, and it drives me crazy. My dad has never said one bad thing about her. So it makes me feel inadequate, like we were just not good enough for her to want to stay.”
She looks down at the floor embarrassed and then moves to the stove to check the potatoes and the eggs. I feel terrible for her and I wish I could just hug her tightly. Sometimes a good meaningful hug makes it all better. I get closer to her and speak softly.
“Sometimes life is not kind, and most times we have to hurt deeply in order to find out how strong and determined we really are. Bad things happen to a lot of us, but it gives us purpose. It may not seem fair because during that time we are buried in sadness, anger or whatever feelings we may be experiencing, it makes us lack the perspective we need to create solutions. Those only come when we can step out of the dark hole and look at the entire picture. There is always an alternate option. Always. Remember that, and it will keep you from falling into the darkness once again.”
She stares at me, thinking it over and I notice her jaw tightening. Then the frown magically goes away and she smiles kindly at me. “Thanks, Brianna, I never really thought about it in those terms. I like it.” Her small smile now widens into a grin stretching from ear to ear and I know she means it.
“My pleasure.” I nod my head and then take a deep bow similar to the ones given to a queen and roll my arms. I am still standing next to Keagan getting the ingredients ready, I bump her shoulder with mine and ask her a burning question. “Sooo, what is the deal with you and Notso?” She gives me a shy smile and looks at me from the corner of her eyes.
“Yeah, Keagan, what’s going on?” Ciara eggs her on. Suddenly, Keagan’s large green eyes can’t seem to look at us. Her face changes from milky white skin to bright scarlet, and I know we have hit a nerve. Keagan starts to fidget with her clothes, then stands straight as a board.
“Well, it really is nothing. I wish there was something going on. I have been crazy about that boy since high school but he never gives me the time of day. I don’t know what to do about it.”
“I have a feeling that the time of day is not given to you because of a ‘best friend double threat’ that is currently going on between all our boys.” Ciara and I give each other a knowing look. Keagan looks at Ciara as if she wants to ask her something. I continue to encourage her.
“Keagan, let me tell you something, girl… Notso is a damn good catch. The boy is sweet, thoughtful and super good looking. If you want something with him, then give it all you got. Don’t let anything or anyone chase you away.”
Keagan’s hands are now alternating between fists and stretching. “Ciara, I must confess something, for a while there I thought you had an interest in Notso and he on you.”
Ciara’s eyes look surprised. She takes a deep breath and smiles. “But of course, who wouldn’t want a piece of this!” her hand sweeps her body from head
to toe and when it comes back up, she flicks her hair in an over-the-top fashion, making us all laugh. “But we have no control of our heart or our feelings. When you are committed to live your life being true to yourself, you need to free your feelings in order to experience all that life has to offer. If you try to control your feelings, there is no doubt that the life you are living is merely a lie. In my case, my feelings are telling me one thing, even though my friends are telling me another. I am afraid that my feelings do not belong to Notso, as much as I logically know that he is the best choice for me. My heart is driving me towards another.”
I have known Ciara for a very long time. Long enough to know this question has really bothered her, even though she is trying to play it off. I make a mental note to talk to Ciara in private about this. Right as I am finishing this thought, Ciara chimes in and says “Music time!” She turns her iPhone speakers on and plays “Dark Horse” by Katy Perry. We start dancing around the kitchen surrendering our thoughts to the music and having some much needed innocent fun.
Brianna
We managed to arrive at the tailgate party just in time. Carrie came out to greet us and we all complemented each other on our outfits, jewelry and sandals. The entire campground is full of flags, banners and all things showing school spirit and sporting the school colors: Orange and Navy. Doesn’t matter where you look, this is the color scheme of the day.
Every girl grabs their handbags and a bag of groceries. We have brought the potato salad, but also have drinks, alcohol, chips and salsa and mini chocolate candy bars. The site is full of people engaged in different activities. Some are playing games, some are watching games on these big screen TVs, some are eating, and then some are, like us, are just talking but everyone is having a great time.
I love the fact that although our guys are members of the school’s football team, they are not huge stars. That allows them more time to spend with us. College classes already take a huge chunk of time away from us, then Colton has his football practices and I have my job… But somehow we manage, and the best part is that it’s working for us.
About an hour before game time, some of the people in our group decide to start walking towards the stadium, which is about a mile away. We are chatting about everything and anything, looking at the other tailgaters on the way and yelling and teasing back and forth. I notice these two guys in a golf cart, trying to weave in and out of the crowd.
“Those idiots are going to hurt somebody.” I tell the girls.
“If we see security, we need to bring it to their attention. There are too many kids around here for them to be cutting through the crowd.”
We are walking through this small patch of grass where there are canopy tents setup with people partying and having a great time, while trying to stay covered from the hot sun. That’s when I hear the golf cart approaching once again from behind me. I look back and all I see is the drivers eyes completely unfocused, and looking the opposite way. He is headed straight for us.
I immediately snap out of it and push the girls out of the way, turning and yelling at the driver. I can’t throw the knife I have on me, because I don’t want to kill the guy! His face turns in my direction, and as soon as he sees me waiving my arms, he jerks the wheel, turning the golf cart away from us and right towards the tents full of people.
In slow motion, just like a scene straight from a terrible movie, we started yelling towards the people under the tents, and amazingly, the golf cart evaded the first row of tailgaters, but then maneuvered right into a canopy on the second row. You would think that would have been the end of it but the damn canopy falls on top of the golf cart and the runaway cart continues to move forward towards a ravine behind the tents. I can hear the guys on the golf cart screaming amidst all the other spectators, and while everyone else is standing there in shock or running away from the commotion, my Army training kicks in and I run towards the problem.
When I get to the edge of the ravine, I find the golf cart at the bottom and the guys have been ejected out of it. The sides of the giant ditch are full of rocks and branches from shrubs that have tried to grow unsuccessfully under these perilous conditions. I’m again grateful that I almost always wear jeans. I move down the slope swiftly trying not to trip and bust my ass or fall on my face and scratch my eyes out with all these twigs. I finally reach the first passenger, and when I check his pulse is strong, so I smack his face a couple of times to see if he’ll regain consciousness.
“Hey! HEY! Can you move?” He whimpers in answer, and slowly looks at me. He attempts to move his legs and arms.
“Yes, I’m okay… Where is Joe?” I’m going to assume that Joe is his friend, the driver. Other people have come down the ravine and there are a couple of guys looking at Joe. Their faces show panic when they look up screaming that Joe is bleeding and asking for a doctor. I yell at them not to move the guy.
“I’m going to see about your friend, okay?” The guy nods and I start to move away.
When I get to Joe, I tell the people around him that I have some medical training, and I instruct them to make sure someone calls 9-1-1. This one looks really bad. Joe is looking at me. I can tell he’s in shock.
“Hi Joe. You may not be feeling a lot of pain because of the adrenaline going through your body, but you have some injuries that I am going to attempt to treat before the medics get here. Okay? I need you to stay with me and fight it if you feel like you are falling sleep. Okay? Joe nods.
He is bleeding profusely from a gash on his thigh, and I’m afraid that he has nicked a femoral artery, judging by the amount of blood coming out. I also see a thick stick of wood stabbing him under one side of his ribs, and minor scrapes all over his exposed skin. He must have been caught by every branch rolling down to the bottom of the ditch after flying out of the golf cart.
“Hey, Joe, you have a cut on your thigh that is bleeding and I’m going to try to stop it. Okay? Now Joe, while I’m doing this, I want you to talk to me and answer a few questions, is that all right? Think you can do that?” Joe nods.
“What day of the week is today?” I don’t want to move Joe in any way, so I take the edge of my shirt and with a sigh, pull it over my head leaving myself wearing a tank top.
“Saturday.”
“What is your favorite football team, Joe?” In one swift motion, I rip the shirt to get what I need and hastily fold it over a few times and start applying pressure over the wound. The blood is seeping through the shirt fast. This is not looking good.
“Ocean Tides…”
“You are doing great Joe. What is your full given name?” I signal a guy to come over and continue to apply pressure. I need to treat him with a tourniquet, to try to stop the bleeding or he will fade away quickly. I stand up and look for a solid long enough branch, when I spot one of the canopy’s wooden supports inside the cart. I go get it.
“Joseph Michael Russo.” I hear him whisper. The canopy support is too long, so use my knee to break it to the right size. I hear a few people gasping. Joe closes his eyes.
“Joe! Stay with me, Joe. Russo is an Italian name. Are you Italian?” I grab a hold of the t-shirt of the guy putting pressure on Joe’s cut, and without any warning, I rip it off of him. His eyebrows draw together and he cuts his eyes in my direction. Before he can say anything, I mouth the words “I’m sorry” and keep doing what I need to do.
“My dad is.”
“Well, Joe. Italian men are stubborn, so I need you to fight to stay awake. Okay?” I rip the shirt into a long piece and I start to wrap it a few inches above the bleeding gash on Joe’s thigh. I am able to wrap it around three times – this is good.
“I’m not stubborn, but I’m so tired.”
“If you go to sleep on me, I’m going to take a sharpie and write all over your face. I’m going to draw hearts and rainbows and unicorns and it will take days for it to go away and you are going to have to walk around campus like that – what do you say now?” I tie the material in a half knot and pla
ce the piece of wood on top of it and then I tie a full knot on top of the wood.
“You are not being nice… Pretty girls are supposed to be nice…”
“Not with stubborn Italian men, we are not supposed to be nice. When was the last time you visited home?” Here comes the fun part. I start twisting the stick over and over, like a bottle does when you play “Spin the Bottle” with your friends. I twist until I can’t twist any more. I wrap the loose ends of the shirt around each end of the stick and tuck them under the makeshift bandage.
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