by Brandt Legg
“Should we take him there? I mean, he was one of Lightyear’s top people,” Booker asked.
“They only share a soul. Two very different personalities, not the same people,” Spencer corrected.
“What about souls being corrupted by a lifetime with a very strong personality? I’ve read about that happening.” Booker asked. “I mean would you want to have Hitler’s next incarnation babysit your kids?”
“Is that possible?” I asked.
“Not in my experience. People have theories, but nothing has ever been documented,” Spencer replied.
“So you don’t know for sure?”
“I know Fitts is no Hitler.”
“Tell that to my family.”
The sound of a helicopter unnerved me. Linh and Amber started toward the door. “It’s just Tiller Hobson and three of the IMers from Taos. Once Moab got hit we decided to take some of the key people from Taos and bring them here. Now they’ll all go on to Cervantes.”
“Nate, I’ll be taking this copter out of here,” Booker said. “I can’t take any chances of being affiliated with the Movement. I’m its bank you know.”
“How many people are in the Movement?” I asked.
He looked at Spencer.
“A few hundred thousand in varying degrees,” Spencer’s answer surprised me.
“What does that mean?” Linh asked, joining the conversation.
“There are hundreds of thousands of people who share the same core beliefs and philosophies as IM.”
“How many actually know it exists?”
“Maybe five thousand.”
“And at the centers?” I asked, deflated.
“Fewer than a thousand.”
“How are we ever going to change things with numbers like that?” I asked.
“Every significant change in human history has begun with an idea from a single individual,” Booker said. “We can do this. My fortune is at our disposal, and a chain of events, which began long before any of us were born, is already under way. There are cracks at Lightyear, and their opposition to all that we believe in will be the drive that propels us forward.”
“I appreciate the pep talk, Booker, but there is so far to go. How can we get there?”
“You need to stay alive,” he said, tapping my chest. He looked over at Spencer. “We’re asking a lot of you, Nate. The truth is, going to Outin to find Dustin is not going to be easy. Assuming—”
“Booker, let me explain,” Spencer interrupted.
“If you don’t mind, I’d rather hear it from Booker,” I said.
Spencer tipped his extended hand to Booker and nodded.
“Just getting back to Outin will be challenging enough,” Booker continued. “But if you survive that, finding Dustin and escaping Outin again will prove almost impossible. It will require every power you’ve learned and a few you’ve yet to remember.”
“What do you mean, escaping Outin?” Amber asked.
Booker looked again at Spencer and walked over to the stone fireplace.
“Outin is not the same place you left,” Spencer said. “As far as we know, there had never been a killing there... until Nate and Linh killed the soldiers.”
“Not the same place, how?” I asked.
“We don’t know exactly. It’s a whole other dimension, and I don’t fully understand this yet,” Spencer said.
“And Lightyear may be there,” Booker said. “It’s impossible to know if they’ve already found a way through. Even if they haven’t yet, you can be damn sure they’re looking for it. Finding Outin is likely more important to them than finding you, Nate.”
“It’s too risky to go,” Amber said, pausing to look at me. “But we have to, don’t we?”
“Without finding Dustin and securing Outin, there is no way the Movement will succeed, and there’s no way the girls live much longer,” Spencer said.
“When do I leave?” I asked.
“You mean when do we leave?” Linh corrected.
Amber nodded.
“It’ll be dark soon. You’ll go then.”
61
We left the cabin and were immediately swept into the confusion of an evacuating refugee camp. I’d learned in Taos that IMers were all on the run from something. Often it was as benign as knowing the “normal” world wasn’t right for them, but as I was learning fast, mine wasn’t the only life Lightyear had touched personally. Others were called by visions or synchronistic events, or encounters with Spencer or other mystics. They all had nowhere “safe” to go, and feared Lightyear—not just because of the punishments they would suffer because of their acquaintance with me but also terrified of what the world would become should Lightyear win.
Tiller Hobson stopped us. “Yangchen sends her love.”
“Where is she?”
“Hard to say, but she’ll be fine.”
“Amber, she said to remind you of the floating flower.”
I looked at her for an explanation. She just smiled and turned away.
“It’s begun; things are getting crazy. I’ve heard that ten centers are evacuating.”
“What’s begun?” Linh asked.
“The next stage... We’re at the beginning of the great shift. Don’t you feel it? Or maybe you guys are so much in the forefront that you sense it differently.”
“We’re just trying to stay alive, Tiller,” I said.
“Amen, brother.”
It started to snow. Spencer called us from the porch. He had a large duffle bag with fantastic clothes, all black. It started with one-piece swimsuits for the girls and trunks for me. The next layer had light cargo pants, T-shirt, and safari shirt, but instead of being solid black they were speckled with tiny points of white. He also had mountain boots, snow pants, warm jackets, and wool hats.
“Looks like combat fatigues for Outin,” Linh said, half smiling.
Spencer nodded gravely. “You should dress now; put it all on.” We scooped everything up and were heading inside when he added, “Nate, wait.” I motioned the girls to go on in. “There’s more. Here’s a small pack for each of you. It includes all kinds of survival gear.”
“Okay,” I said, anticipating what was next.
“I want you to consider taking weapons.”
“No.”
“Nate, listen, please. I have to tell you, even with guns, your chances of getting away from Outin alive are slim... ” He looked at me hard. “A million to one that you make it.”
“And without them?”
“I’ve not seen it happen.”
“That doesn’t mean it won’t.”
“No it doesn’t, but the odds are astronomical. This isn’t a new power to me. I’ve spent decades watching the future, and then seeing it evolve and—”
“Then why are you letting me go?”
“There is no other way.”
“Then let me do it my way,” I replied.
“Is it your way, or is it Yangchen’s way?”
“You’ve known me enough lifetimes, Spencer. You tell me.”
Our eyes locked, pleading with each other. He grabbed me in a hug. “Damn it, you better survive this.”
“I plan on it. If for no other reason than just to prove you wrong.”
He surprised us both with a half laugh, and as we pulled apart, his eyes brimmed with tears. For the first time, I believed he might care more for me than what I was to the Movement. And I realized he and the Movement were enormously important to me.
The girls came out a few minutes later looking like ski bunnies. I left them to get dressed myself and ran into Booker inside.
“I’ve got a bus coming. Should be here in the next twenty minutes to take everyone out. You and the girls can ride with me. I’ll take you as far as is safe. Somewhere near the base of Shasta, I suspect. From there you will have to find your way to Outin. The snow will help give you some cover, but they’ve got patrols and Sno-Cats out searching... for you and for Outin.”
“Does the military r
eally know how to look for a portal to another dimension?”
“You’d be surprised. But in this case, Lightyear has some psychic spooks on Shasta advising and sifting the data.”
“Do you think we’ll survive this?”
“Hell yes, I... ” He stopped himself. “Nate, I’m no mystic. I’m a helluva lot closer to my personality than to my soul, in spite of all my efforts. I’ve just never found a way to reconcile business to spirituality. I don’t believe they’re mutually exclusive; I’m just better at making money than anything else,” he paused. “Always remember that power clouds things.” Some of his employees rushed through carrying boxes. “Anyway, that’s not what I mean to be telling you right now. If I was to set this whole thing up as a business, I’d send you in there with a mercenary army and enough modern weaponry to give you a chance against the deadliest military the world has ever known. We’d have maps of Outin, spies, and surveillance equipment, bribes would be issued, the whole works. But this ain’t like that. We’re dealing with different forces. So, knowing what I know, if you’re looking for an honest answer... ” he paused.
I nodded.
“No, I don’t think I’ll ever see you again after today, at least in this lifetime. I think you’re crazy not to take weapons with you, and I think Spencer is a fool to let you go.”
“He says there’s no other way.”
“Damn, Nate, there’s always another way.”
“I have to try.”
“I know. But Nate, make things right before you do. Get ahold of your mother. Tell her you love her and forgive her and all that stuff.”
“Okay. Thanks for being straight with me.”
He nodded. “And, Nate, I hope I’m wrong. There’s plenty I don’t know, about you, your powers, and Outin. So there’s a fair chance I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.” He went outside, and I finished dressing.
My mother was in the same cell when I reached her. “Nate, please tell me it’s not true.”
“What?”
“That you had something to do with this mall attack.”
“Mom, are you serious? I’m a thousand miles away from that mall. Lightyear set me up. They’re trying to discredit me.”
“Nate, I’m sorry, but you’re doing a pretty good job of discrediting yourself. I just don’t believe they would kill hundreds of innocent kids to make you look bad. Of course I don’t think you did either, but that’s why you have to stop running, so we can get this sorted out. Our government wouldn’t kill its own citizens.”
“That’s what they do. All the Montgomery Ryders... you should know better.”
“Please, let’s get you the best lawyer in the country and fight this thing the right way. No more running, no more killing. It’s out of control. You’re going to get yourself killed.”
We lost contact for five or ten seconds, which gave me a chance to compose myself. “Mom, I love you. I know you don’t understand most of this and can’t believe the other half. But I’m your son. Trust me.”
“I’m trying, but think about the lawyer. Not like Sam’s sister. With all this publicity, the best attorneys will just line up to take this case.”
“I’ll consider it. There’s something else I want you to know.”
Silence.
“I forgive you, Mom.”
“For what?”
“For everything, all of it.”
“Oh, Nate, I just want you and Dustin out of harm’s way. I don’t know what to do anymore.” Tears. “I’m just a mom who wants her babies safe. If I could hide you I would, but where do you hide from something like this?”
We lost contact. I was alone for only a minute trying to collect my thoughts when the girls came in. Booker had told them the plans.
“Does it really make sense taking everyone to Cervantes? Isn’t it risky teaching powers to all these people?” Linh asked. The question of Ren’s loyalty had made us doubtful about everyone we’d met at the centers.
“Spencer said that the more who connect with their souls, the better. Powers help bring us closer to that. Without understanding and embracing our true selves, we can’t develop and perfect the powers. He really wanted us to take weapons. They don’t think we have a chance without them.”
“Do we?” Linh asked.
“Yes.”
They both smiled.
“If going back to Outin is our best chance to keep you two alive, then we’re going to do it. If we don’t make it, then we’ll all die together.”
“Kyle better show up,” Linh said.
“Where else is he going to go? He’ll be there.”
“And Dustin?” Amber asked.
“What time is Dustin in, what dimension?” Linh asked.
“Wandus told me that understanding my Outviews should help guide everything I do. They are my soul’s experience on this plane.”
“How are we going to get to Outin if they’ve got the mountain locked down? I still can’t even Skyclimb,” Amber said, sadly. “Sorry. I don’t know why I can’t—”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Wandus also said that the connections of our past, present, and future incarnations can answer any question. Ren was Fitts. I was Clastier and Hibbs. Spencer was Hibbs’ mistress. My father was my friend in many lives, protecting the Jadeo. Kyle is also Curry, the writer and Mayan scholar. Who were you Amber? Not just my sister—there were more lifetimes. And you Linh?”
Linh’s expression suddenly softened to reveal depths of love I was unprepared for. I turned back to Amber and kept talking. “It’s hard to know where it ends and where it begins. My mother, Dustin, Josh, Bà, Bridgette, Amparo, who were they? The more we understand about the relations in this life, the more we can find out about past connections, and then the answers will come and secrets will be revealed. And remember what Wandus said. The question I should be asking is, who was Storch?”
“How do we find those connections?” Amber asked.
“You could read us,” Linh said.
“I’d rather explore Outviews.”
“Can you do that now? I mean, control them?”
I nodded.
“You already have all the secrets Wandus talked about, and the rest of Clastier papers can’t be hard to locate since you have his memories,” Amber said.
“And you know what the Jadeo is, right?” Linh asked. “Are you going to ever tell us?”
“Believe me, it’s better if you don’t know yet. But one day you’ll understand.”
Spencer was at the doorway, making a helicopter signal with his hands.
“We’re coming.”
The girls waited next to the chopper, refusing to get in until I did.
The snow was worsening.
“What about Kyle?” Linh asked.
“He’ll catch up with you at Outin,” Spencer said. “One more thing.”
“Let’s go,” Booker yelled from inside.
“Go ahead,” I told the girls. “I’m right behind you.”
“If you’re going back there intent on avoiding violence, then I think you should give me the Jadeo,” Spencer said.
“Will that really make a difference?”
“I don’t know.” He was exhausted and exasperated. I embraced my old friend.
“Here,” I handed it to him. “I don’t know either. If things go badly, you’ll make sure it’s safe?”
“Or destroyed.”
62
From the air I caught a glimpse of the charter bus turning off the main road onto the long drive to the cabins. Another small helicopter landed where we had just been. I tapped Booker on the shoulder and pointed.
“It’s for Spencer, he’s not going straight to Cervantes.”
I stared out at the forest and mountains below, their calm majesty seemed strange considering the turmoil of the mall attack and our lives. Linh handed me a poem.
They came like flies, or sweets, or rain
down my throat, searing my veins
con
vincing sounds, my head turns
and eyes behold, unwarranted burns—
that smell, that tear my skin into folds—
breaks made. We never win. I hide,
dear friend, like those around
whose hands reach out, my tears fall to the
ground. I beat, with body, curled and distant
aching shame, to go where bidden
notwithstanding, nor image rest
upon this shore, where no man’s test
is here. Yes, here. Here! Look at the vestige
like a shipwreck, confound this absent brutal
vex and shun, the soft skin of a sun-ripened
peach in your hold, your precious world,
teach its sweetness, that distinct taste of us
fresh, and silent, and sure... we are.
Oh, the magnificence of youth,
’tis age is wasted on the dying,
and blood, is smeared with a reckoning
as honest as a baby,
the breath of innocence,
the kiss, the stunning clarity
of who you are,
be it, damn it. Be the power in your heart
and awaken my renewal.
I am crumbling
in the wake of my ancestors,
and this resurgence is
deafening.
We are here.
Here. Yes, here!
Now look in our eyes and spell
it out so they will come like sweets,
and not flies,
on our bloodied bodies,
our thoughts of ne’er.
Our flowers smelling soft
like rain.
How could Luther Storch have ordered such a massacre? After twenty minutes Booker’s voice came across our headsets. “Nate, we’re going to have to put it down here. I’m sorry we can’t get you closer. They’ve got restricted airspace.”
“This is fine.”
“We’ll add the film of you at the center and the affidavit to the propaganda videos,” Booker said. “They’ll be released when the time is right.”
“Propaganda makes it sound made up.”
“You’re right. How about we call it ‘the truth’ instead? We’ll get the truth out.”