by Sophie Stern
I guess I know why Gavin has been a dick to me all of these years. He probably thinks it’s my dad’s fault his went to prison. Hell, maybe he even blames his dad’s death on mine. I don’t know and I don’t care. Today was an eye-opener for me. I’ve been putting up with his shit because part of me felt sorry for him, but you know what? He took things too far. He showed that picture to everyone and he didn’t even say he was sorry.
Well, fuck him.
I’m done making excuses for Gavin and I’m done feeling bad for him. I had a fucking asthma attack today because of the stress and if I don’t get my emotions under control, I’ll probably have another one. I’m one of those people whose asthma flares up depending on my emotions, which is one of the reasons it’s so vital that I keep everything in my life in a neat and perfect order.
I need to keep things under control for my health.
I need to keep things under control so I don’t go crazy.
I start walking away from Gavin and I don’t turn around to look back. It’s been five years since our dads were taken away. It’s hard to believe it’s been so long. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that Gavin was kissing me for the very first time.
Rain starts pouring down on me. Crap. I hadn’t been expecting that and I’m definitely not dressed for it. I walked here from the dorms and it’s at least a twenty minute walk back. I’ll be fine, I tell myself. It’s just a little rain.
Whatever.
I feel his hand wrap around my arm, though.
“I’ll give you a ride.”
“Fuck you.”
“We both know I’d love that, but all I’m offering right now is a place for you to stay dry.”
I look up at Gavin. He towers over me now. The last time we kissed – the only time we kissed – he was the same size as me. Neither one of us had started growing yet. Neither one of us had started turning into who we are now.
“I don’t need your pity.”
“Are you fucking crazy?” He asks, and he looks bewildered. “It’s pouring. You can’t walk back like this.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse.”
“Emilia, you’re going to catch a cold. Your asthma.”
“My asthma is fine, and to be honest, it’s none of your concern.”
“Look, I know that you’re going to be more likely to get respiratory infections and viruses because of the asthma.”
How the hell does he know that? I glare at him, but keep walking. It’s already starting to get muddy and my shoes are going to be destroyed long before I make it back. Whatever. I have a second pair. I’ll just make them last the rest of the school year. Soon enough I’ll be going off to college anyway, assuming I get a scholarship.
“Like I said, Gav, it’s really not your problem.”
“Yeah, well, I’m about to make it mine.”
He sighs loudly, like he can’t believe what he’s about to do, and then I feel him grab me.
“Stop! What are you doing?”
It’s all happening so fast. First his arms wrap around me and then he lifts me up and tosses me over his shoulder like it’s nothing.
Like I’m just a toy for his amusement.
Like I’m a damn backpack.
“It’s for your own good.”
“Hey! I didn’t ask for this! Let me go!”
“No.”
I pound on his back, trying not to think about the fact that my skirt is riding up my butt and if he looks, he’ll definitely be able to see my pink lace panties.
And I hate the way my body feels like it’s absolutely on fire. There’s a part of me – a dark part – that wants him to slide his hands up my thighs and touch me between my legs. I want to feel his fingers there, and then his tongue. I want him to play with me, and my body is already wet as I’m thinking about it.
It would be wrong.
Gavin is mean, and he doesn’t like me, and we aren’t really friends.
I know that we haven’t been friends in a long time. Not since we were kids, so why do I want him so much? I hate that my body responds to him so quickly. No man has ever turned me on nearly as much as Gavin does. I know that 18 is still pretty young, but if I had to choose someone to spend my life with, I know it would be him. He’s the only person I’ve ever felt safe with and even now, with him hating me so much, he’s the only person I can ever imagine myself being with.
He ignores me pounding on his back, yelling at him, and he carries me to the car. When we get to his Hyundai, he unlocks the car manually and plops me down in the front seat. He leans in over me and the scent of his body wash fills my nostrils. It takes all of my self control not to grab him and kiss him right then.
“What are you doing?” I snap, irritated at my reaction to him.
He doesn’t say a word. Instead, he grabs the seat belt and buckles me in quietly, making sure that no matter what happens next, I’ll be safe. He closes the car door and I know he’s walking around to the other side.
The problem is that I don’t know if I can take much more of this.
I don’t know what my body is going to do when I’m alone with Gavin in a car.
Shit.
Chapter 7
Gavin
I’M GOING TO JUST IGNORE the way my cock is hard from carrying Emilia back to my car. I’ll just pretend that none of this happened. It’s totally fucked up that I’m thick and swollen just from her rubbing against me while I carried her. She acted like she was protesting, but she was practically grinding against me.
When I hoisted her up over my shoulder, it was all I could do not to take a peek at her tiny little panties. Her skirt rode up, but I kept my eyes plastered straight ahead even though I totally didn’t want to.
What I wanted was to let my hands wander up her creamy thighs and between her sweet legs. What does Emilia’s pussy taste like? Has anyone had a bite? That’s what I want, and as horrible as it is, that’s what I would do if she could ever look past how shitty of a human I’ve been.
I stop outside of the driver’s side and just stare at my car for a second.
Shit.
If what she told me about our dads is true, then I’ve completely fucked up. Could it possibly be real? Is there a chance that my dad wasn’t the victim I’ve always been led to believe? Did her father really give up his future for mine?
And more importantly, why didn’t my mother ever tell me?
I’m fucking soaked, so I finally open the door and slide in. I sit in the seat, and I close the door, but I don’t slide the keys into the ignition just set. Instead, I turn and look at her.
Emilia Riley is sitting so perfectly and quietly in my car. She’s totally prim and proper, and all I want to do is fucking devour her.
“What?” She finally says, turning to me. “Why are you staring at me?”
“Do you remember the night?”
“What night?”
She remembers.
She has to.
“You know which one.”
The night I kissed a girl for the very first time.
The night I realized I loved her more than anything else in the world.
The night I decided I was going to grow up and marry her one day.
The night my entire life changed.
“Yes.”
“You were my first kiss.”
I don’t know why I’m telling her this. It’s a little embarrassing, I guess, or maybe it’s sweet. It’s not something I should be telling her after the way I treated her, though.
“You were mine, too,” she whispers so quietly that I can barely hear her.
“You never told me that.”
“You didn’t exactly speak to me after that,” she shrugs. “How was I supposed to tell you?”
“I’ve missed out on a lot, huh?”
The silence hangs heavy between us as I wonder what else I don’t know about her. What other little secrets does Emilia have that I’m not aware of?
She sighs and looked out the window. He
r breasts heave as she breathes heavily, focusing on the way the little rain droplets seem to slowly make their way down the window.
“Yeah,” she finally whispers. “You have.”
“Do you think about it?”
“What?”
“That night.”
“Are you asking me if I think about the night I lost my dad, Gavin? Because that’s a pretty fucked up question.”
She spins her head to look at me, and her brow furrows. Even in the dim lighting in the car, I can tell that this question hurts her somehow, and I cringe when I realize just how deeply I’ve wounded her.
“I’m asking if you think about us.”
“There was never any us.”
My blood runs cold.
Really?
Never?
Never?
“How can you say that?” I ask.
“Because you kissed me and then you never spoke to me again. In fact, if I remember correctly, up until a couple of hours ago, you were dying to make my life miserable.”
“Yeah, well, shit’s changed since then,” I mutter.
“How? Because I stood up to you? Now you suddenly want to be my friend?”
Kind of.
“You didn’t have to cover for me with the principal.”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Really? You had to? Why?”
“Because my dad would have done the same thing.”
Her words drop like a fucking bomb because now I actually know what she’s saying. Her father loved mine. I don’t know if they were just very close friends, or if there was something more between them, but Emilia’s dad gave up everything to save my father, and she’s telling me that she would do the same thing for me.
Only, I don’t know why.
And I need to know why.
I’ll ask her later, on a night when it’s not raining. I’ll beg her to tell me all of her secrets, but right now, I want to make her remember.
“I was scared,” I tell her.
“We were both scared.”
“I was scared of kissing you,” I clarify.
“You?” She scoffs. “The great Gavin? Afraid? I don’t believe it.”
“I was terrified. I’d wanted to kiss you for so long and I mean, you were completely out of my league.”
“I don’t believe that at all.”
“You were perfect, Emilia.”
You still are, I think, but I don’t say that out loud.
“Gavin,” she looks at me. “Take me home, okay?”
But I need her to remember.
I want her to remember.
And I want to thank her for what she did today.
“I was wrong,” I tell her.
She’s silent, and she looks out of the window again, as though she’s completely resigned to sitting in this car until the rain stops.
“I shouldn’t have posted the picture. It was a shitty thing to do. I’m sorry.”
“Why’d you do it?”
“I wanted to hurt you. No matter what I do to you, it never seems to bother you. I wanted you to care.”
I can see the tears glistening on her cheeks. This is more than just a stupid picture to her, I realize. Emilia has never been easily embarrassed. I would never do something truly evil that really hurt her. I mean, it was a picture of her falling. It wasn’t like I shared a picture of her naked.
But I can see that what I did actually did hurt her.
For so long, I’ve felt like I couldn’t break through to her. Forever, it’s seemed like she was too strong to give in to my teasing and taunting, but now I realize that Emilia is just as broken as I am.
Maybe more.
She looks at me, and suddenly, I feel sick when I realize just how deeply I’ve wounded her. I reach for her cheek, unable to hold myself back, and I stroke it softly. My cock is straining at my pants because even now, even in this moment, it’s an idiot who wants her.
She’s never looked more beautiful than she does right now, though, and I know I’m a fucking bastard because I want her more than ever.
“I’ve never stopped caring,” she whispers.
“I think about that night all of the time.”
I don’t know why I’m telling her this. It doesn’t make sense. I should be holding back, keeping this secret to myself, but I can’t seem to do that. Not when it comes to her.
And then Emilia does something that just pushes me over the fucking edge. Her eyes dart to my lips quickly before they’re quickly back on mine.
Then she bites her bottom lip, and I realize I’m a goner.
I reach for her, pulling her close, and I slam my lips onto hers. I kiss her hard and fast and deeply. I kiss her in the way I can only do now. I could never have kissed her like this, not back then.
The last time I kissed Emilia, it was innocent: a kiss brought on by desire and the purest kind of love you can feel.
First love is the only innocent kind of passion.
Now, though, there’s so much more that this kiss contains: heat, anger, passion...arousal.
Oh, I’m aroused.
Based on the way she grabs my hair and tugs me closer to herself, I’d say this is affecting her just as much as it’s affecting me.
“Gavin,” she whispers against my mouth, softly tracing her tongue over my lips. I’m totally and completely at a loss as to what I should say now.
I didn’t expect this.
I didn’t plan for it.
This isn’t what I thought was going to happen tonight.
Oh, I thought we’d talk about our dads. It is the five year anniversary of their arrests. It’s been five years since our lives were drastically changed. When this happened, I thought that my heart had died. I didn’t think there was any chance I’d ever find love. Not that this is love. I know Emilia doesn’t love me, and I doubt she ever could, but damn, if I don’t feel completely crazy about her.
Especially now.
I fist her hair and tug her head back. Then I lean over and start to kiss her neck softly, tenderly, and then more fiercely. I nip at her skin, and she groans.
“You like it a little rough, don’t you?” I whisper in her ear.
“No.”
“You’re a liar, Emilia Riley.”
“I’m not.”
“If I slipped a hand between your thighs, Emilia, what would I find? Would you be wet for me? Is your pussy aching for me?”
She groans instead of answering, and I place my hand on her thigh. It’s tight and soft. She exercise a lot, I know, and her body is lean and toned. Even if she wasn’t, I wouldn’t care. I’m crazy about this girl.
She sucks in a breath and I chuckle.
“Are you aching?”
“Gavin...”
“Tell me, pretty girl,” I say.
She shakes her head. Even in the darkness, I can see her blushing. She’s embarrassed, at least a little, but she’s also horny as hell. She wants this, but she doesn’t want to admit it. That’s okay. I can help her with this.
“If you tell me how much you want this, Emilia, I can give you something.”
“What?” She whispers.
“An orgasm that’s going to make your head explode.”
I kiss her neck, licking and biting her, but I don’t move my hand any higher up her leg. Instead, I massage her leg, keeping my hand firmly in place.
I’m close to her panties: so close.
I could slide my fingers up and just dip them under the soft fabric of her underwear. She wouldn’t know what hit her. She’d love it. She’s so turned on that I have the feeling she’d come right away if I touched her.
I want to find out.
“I don’t want an orgasm,” she says breathlessly.
“Lying again, baby?” I whisper. I nip at her ear and then move back to her lips. This time, I do slide my hand up just a little higher. My fingertips brush against the fabric of her panties, and I can tell that yeah, she’s completely wet for me.
She’s anxiou
s and wet and she’s close.
“You’re full of yourself,” she says, kissing me back. “And you’re a bully.”
“I’m ready to bully your pussy,” I tell her.
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“Let me show you.”
I pause, waiting for her to give me the go-ahead. I can take Emilia to places she’s never been before, and I might be a total dick, but I’m not going to force myself on a woman. I never would. Even now, even though I’m certain she wants this, and I know she’ll enjoy herself immensely, I still need to know that she’s okay with this.
Guilt pangs me briefly as I think about how much I’ve put her through, but this is going to be different.
This is going to be just for her.
My cock aches as I wait. She seems to have some sort of internal battle before she finally nods.
“Show me,” she commands, and I don’t need to be told a second time. I don’t bother removing her panties. I just slide them to the side and slip a finger inside of her tight, wet channel.
“Fuck.”
“Gavin...”
“You are so fucking tight.”
I wonder, for just a second, if she’s a virgin, but I don’t think that’s really possible. Who’s a virgin in this day and age? But all of my questions float away as the sound of her moans hit my ears.
And I think I might fucking die.
Emilia Riley is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.
She spreads her legs, giving me more access to her pussy. Her eyes are closed and she reaches for me, kissing me over and over as I play with her body. I slide my finger in and out of her, gently grazing her clit.
“Oh...” She murmurs. Her eyelids flutter open and she cups my face. Then she nuzzles her cheek against mine. “This feels so...Gavin, don’t stop, okay?”
I chuckle.
“I don’t think I could even if I wanted to,” I murmur.
I slide another finger inside of her and start pulsing them in and out of her body. She clenches my fingers, tightly gripping them with her pussy. Fuck, if it’s not the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I kiss her neck again and then graze her breasts with my other hands. I rub them gently. The movement is almost tender, but she seems to like it because she arches up into me.
She’s getting close, I realize, and my cock is straining at my pants as it tries to break free.