by Leslie North
Crunching the numbers and being as honest with himself as he could, he considered how often he would be able to spend time with Adeline in person. With balancing both projects plus time for air travel, he would get to see Adeline an average of once every four and a half weeks for approximately a day and a half.
Groaning, he put his face in his hands. Something was going to have to change. He had no room in his life for Adeline.
ADELINE
“Nicolo, you know how much I’ve enjoyed our time together,” Adeline said, reaching across the table for his hand. They'd barely seen each other since they made up. Eventually she’d stopped talking to him. It had been hard, but she had made peace with the fact that Nicolo wouldn’t be staying in her life. When she’d refused to answer his phone calls or text messages, she’d thought he’d give up and simply fade away as someone she’d once known. For him to do so was for the best. Their time together was ending. Her life was changing too much and too fast to continue to adjust her needs to his whims. She’d accepted the job in Spain. And, besides that, she needed someone stable, someone who was going to be there for her more than when it fit his busy schedule. It was time to make Nicolo understand that.
Nicolo had offered to drive them up the coast for dinner, but she’d told him she was tired and wanted to keep it simple. Both were true. So they’d decided on a little bistro in town. Now, they sat at one of the curbside tables, and Adeline found herself wanting to escape from the way Nicolo stared at her. He could not pull his attention away from the paleness of Adeline’s skin or the dark circles under her eyes.
“Adeline, t’amu, are you well? You’re so pale… but you have dark circles under your eyes. And, you’ve lost weight, I can tell. You are like a frail bird. Are you not sleeping? Are you not eating? What is wrong?” His words poured out but a silence met them. When Adeline didn’t say anything right away, he cleared his throat and spoke again. “I know that you mean to break up with me. Nobody starts a conversation with ‘I’ve enjoyed our time together’ if they don’t mean to end that time together. I… I know you must be upset with me for how strongly I reacted to your confession in Tuscany. I am a passionate man, but I know myself. I know that a life without you is incomprehensible, and it is unacceptable. If you are sick, Adeline, tell me. I will find you the best doctors in the world. I would build a hospital for you if that’s what it takes.”
“I’m just tired,” Adeline reassured Nicolo. His concern was sweet, but in this case, it was misplaced. She’d been fine without him during their time apart, and she would continue to be fine without him as time moved on. She didn’t need him, not anymore. She didn’t need a part-time distraction.
“If you are not well, do not keep it from me, Adeline. Tell me,” Nicolo’s stern voice bid her.
“I’m okay, Nicolo. I promise.”
“You’ve been to a doctor?”
Adeline paused before answering, then said, “Yes. She says that I am well. She said that I need to take things a little easy and give myself more time for rest.”
Nicolo’s cheeks colored. “And here I’ve been, asking so much of you with the overseeing of the Romano del Mare’s renovations. I have done this to you, and I hate myself for it.” He kissed her hand. “Please forgive me.”
“I… There’s nothing to forgive. It’s just… life.” Fatigue settled into her bones, and she fought the urge to simply leave to go home and take a nap. It was true, the doctor had said she was fine—but the doctor had also said that she would never be the same again.
“But it’s a life that can be different, no? I know that I’ve been busy and that business has kept me away, and I know that it’s not fair to you. Our love is so young, yet I’ve asked for so much patience from you. I’ve taken advantage of your generous nature.”
At Nicolo’s use of the word love, Adeline felt the wall she’d constructed around her heart crumble. It left her exposed and suddenly vulnerable to everything about him. His strength, his kindness, and the way he made her feel in the middle of the night when he moved inside of her. He was the first thing she thought about when she woke in the morning and the last thing she thought about as she drifted to sleep at night.
Adeline’s cheeks grew hot, and she fought the urge to reach out a hand to him but she wouldn’t allow herself. She wouldn’t let him treat her as second in line to everything else about his life any longer. “I have felt like a part-time girlfriend,” she admitted, finding the words she needed to say. “That is not what I want in a relationship, Nicolo. I want a full-time partner. My life is changing—”
“I know,” Nicolo interrupted. “And it’s exciting! The job in Spain, I know they want you very much. They see in you the amazing person that I see. How could anyone do otherwise than to love you, t’amu? But, I wonder… could the adventure and opportunity that’s offered in Spain also be found in India?” Nicolo seemed to hold his breath.
“Nicolo, I… I don’t know what to say.” Adeline blinked, stunned at the sudden turn. “The lifestyles between Spain and India are so different. It’s not what I want for myself.”
Nicolo’s shoulders sank as if her answer weighed heavy on them, but he nodded his head in seeming acceptance of her answer. “Adeline—”
“I’m pregnant.” It was Adeline’s turn to interrupt, and she watched as shock registered on Nicolo’s face.
“You’re what?”
Adeline didn’t repeat herself. She knew that he’d heard her. “It’s why I’m leaving you,” she said instead.
A breath of air left Nicolo’s body as if he’d been punched in the gut. “Adeline…” Nicolo reached for her hands, but she pulled away. His gaze traveled over her face, and a new understanding seemed to dawn within him. “You’ve been sick,” he said, “with morning sickness.”
Adeline nodded. She was telling the father of her unborn child that she did not want him in her life—or the life of their child. Miserable did not even begin to describe how she felt.
“It’s why you’ve lost weight. And, you’re tired because of the sickness and the pregnancy and”—he paused, studying her—“the stress.”
“You’re never here, Nicolo. I don’t want a part-time partner, and I don’t want a part-time father to my baby. We deserve more than that.”
Nicolo blinked slowly as if still in a state of shock. But when he spoke, his voice was sure and full of confidence. “Adeline, life can be different. Please give me a chance.”
A tear fell from her eye as she shook her head. “You shouldn’t have to give up your dream. You’ve got the life you want. I don’t want you to stop living the life you love. I don’t want you to wake up years from now and resent me, or worse, hate me because of all you’ve had to sacrifice for me… for us.” She put a hand on her lower belly. It was still flat, but she knew the child was inside.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, Adeline continued. “I’m leaving for Spain again the day after tomorrow. I’ll be finalizing the job offer and then starting preparations for my move there. I know that you’ll be gone by the time I get back. I don’t want to see you again after today.” There was hurt on Nicolo’s face when she spoke those words, but it was the way it needed to be. She wouldn’t have a transient father coming in and out of her child’s life. She wouldn’t allow Nicolo to shower it with over-the-top affection only to neglectfully ignore it when life made being around inconvenient. It had been difficult enough for Adeline to handle the way he was in and out of her life as a whim, all based on his wants and his needs. A child wouldn’t be equipped to understand that his constant leaving wasn’t about it, and she would not have her child thinking it was less-than—less loved, less worthy, less valued—just because its father couldn’t be bothered to be around. No way. No how… but, she wasn’t heartless. “When the time comes, you can meet the baby, of course. But I don’t want you confusing the little one by making them think that you’ll be around to see their school plays or”—her voice broke—“tuck them into bed. I don’t want them to thi
nk that they can depend on you to be there the next day.”
Tears stung Adeline’s eyes. She felt as though she was being torn in two.
Nicolo leaned back from the table, and he shook his head, causing fear to grow within Adeline that he would not honor her wishes. His body was stiff, and his hands were balled into tight, white-knuckled fists. When he spoke, his normally expressive voice was flat. “Whatever you want, Adeline. Anything at all. I’ll do whatever you want. Whatever you think is best for you. Whatever is best for our child.”
Adeline’s heart broke. He’d accepted her terms. The love of her life was leaving her life.
14
Adeline
It had been two weeks since Adeline’s feet had been on Sicilian ground, and she had to admit that it felt good to be home again.
Home…
It was not a word that she could attach to Sicily much longer, and that was an unnerving thought. Even when she was growing up in America under the care of an agoraphobic and overprotective mother, she had always held Sicily as her home within her heart. But she was going to have to give that dream up, and it was time to say goodbye to the Romano del Mare. Though, she wouldn’t do that without seeing it at least one last time. Spain wanted her in place as soon as the middle of next week, and moving that quickly would take her every spare moment to make all of the necessary arrangements.
“Grazij,” she said as she was handed her cappuccino to-go cup. She’d made sure she’d gotten decaf because of the baby, but she was still in Sicily. She would have her morning cappuccino. Giving that up on top of everything else would simply be too much to deal with. She needed her creature comforts.
Her thoughts turned to the medieval resort that held so many fond memories for her. She’d achieved her long-time goal of getting the resort restored, though the restorations would take months to complete. It was bittersweet that as the place she had loved most as a child, its second chance at life was going to be met without her.
But it was as it had to be. She couldn’t stay—not after all that had happened between her and Nicolo. The Romano del Mare was no longer just the place that she had learned about life and love through the time that she had spent there with her grandparents. Now, the Romano del Mare was also the place where she had lost her heart and had her life completely altered. She was about to become a single mother, and it was the most terrifying adventure of all.
Slipping inside her car, she put her drink in its cup holder and set off to the one place that she wanted to be most. She needed to reconnect with the life that she was leaving behind. It was a life she had loved.
Am I making a mistake? I could stay and teach the bambina about her heritage. In truth, she could not think of anywhere else that she would rather raise her child than on the sleepy island of Sicily with its laid-back lifestyle. The people were happy and kind, and life was never rushed. It was a rich heritage, and for the hundredth time Adeline began to doubt herself and her decisions. But, in her gut, she knew that leaving was the way it had to be. If she stayed, it would be too easy, too convenient, for Nicolo to waltz in and out of their lives. Whether he thought it was or not, Sicily was the place that Nicolo would always gravitate back to. She wouldn't allow their child to be hurt by having a part-time father who came and left when he had nothing better to do. So, she had to leave Sicily.
It took only fifteen minutes to reach the Romano del Mare. The parking lot was scattered with several vehicles of various kinds, and with her windows down, Adeline could hear the shouts of people working and hammers banging inside. As far as she could tell, the restoration was moving forward at a good pace, and Alberto and his large family were doing an excellent job.
Adeline parked at the far edge of the parking lot so as to be out of the way. But that was only part of the truth. The other part of it was that she did not want to be seen. She wanted a quiet moment within which to reconnect with the place she loved. She needed to say goodbye.
Getting out of the car with her cappuccino in hand, Adeline walked the long stretch of crumbling dock toward the spot she considered her favorite. It was the spot where Nicolo and she had picnicked. She remembered sitting with her feet dangling over the edge, then she thought of standing on the boat dock while Nicolo tried to coax her into the kayak.
A smile reached Adeline’s lips. Even though her heart ached, her memories were good.
Dodging a pitted spot in the dock’s surface, Adeline slowed as her surroundings changed. The portion of the dock that stretched out before her had been repaired. The crumbling edges had been fixed with new cement and rock. The pitted spots were fixed, and loose segments no longer rolled under her feet.
Adeline turned around and looked at the dock’s surface over which she had just walked. It was still damaged and crumbling, yet the other half of the dock was now fixed.
Adeline turned her attention to the large three-story building. She’d seen the renovation schedule, and fixing the dock wasn’t on it until near the end. Turning back to look at the dock some more, she saw that the fixes had been completed with a fine skill. A lot of detailed effort had gone into it. The surface of the fixed areas was perfectly level with the original dock work, and the surface of the rocks were not marred by excess cement. They had been wiped clean so that they would be smooth for bare feet to walk across.
A familiar voice reached her ears even though the words were too faint for her to pick out. Turning, she looked back at the main building to see a tall man with broad shoulders and black hair coming out of its open front double doors. He was wearing a quarter sleeve button up shirt and khakis that were splotched with paint. On his feet were heavy work boots that had seen their share of a hard day’s work.
In the man’s hand was a blue bucket that pulled down hard on his shoulder. In his other hand were a couple of trowels for working with plaster, and his pockets were stuffed with old rags.
There was something familiar about the way the man moved, and it was not until the man stopped, frozen at the sight of Adeline, that she realized who she was seeing.
“Nicolo!” Her exclamation was quiet and for her own ears. Her mind raced, trying to remember his schedule. She was sure that he was not due back in Sicily for at least another week.
The man put the bucket and trowels on the ground, then in a jog that gained speed to a run, he covered the distance between them. Five feet away, though, his run fell to a walk and then he stopped just out of arm’s reach.
“Adeline,” he whispered with his hand over his heart. The smile he wore was like that of a man who had been reunited with a love he had thought long since dead.
“What are you doing here?” Adeline felt silly asking the question. The Romano del Mare was Nicolo’s birthright after all. He owned it. Who was she to question his presence? She was the one who was trespassing.
Nicolo held out his hands to his sides. “This is where I am now. I’ve come home, Adeline. I haven’t left Sicily since that day in the restaurant.”
Adeline blinked as her body started to tremble. “You’ve come home just as I’m leaving?”
Nicolo took a step closer but did not reach out to touch her. “So, you accepted the position in Spain?”
Adeline nodded, not trusting her voice enough to speak.
“If you will let me follow you,” Nicolo said, gathering the tips of her fingers in his, “I will follow you. I will go to Spain with you, and I will be your full time lover and the full time father of our child.” He took another step forward until there was only the merest threads of light between them. “My home is where you are, Adeline. We can be here, or in Spain, or in America. Wherever you lay your head, that is my home.”
“What about India?” Her voice shook as she asked the question.
“I told them that family matters have determined that I cannot remain in the role of developer-lead on that project.” He smiled, warm and loving. “I quit… But then they rehired me ten minutes later as a consultant with a task load that can be mostly per
formed from here.” He then bobbed his head in the direction of the hotel. “Plus, this keeps me busy.”
Tears fell from Adeline’s eyes.
Kneeling in front of her, Nicolo took her drink from her hand and set it on the ground before taking both her hands in his.
“Adeline Peluso, will you have me as your partner in life for us to face each and every adventure together? Will you let me lay my head on the pillow next to yours for the rest of our lives? Will you let me claim you as my home, my rock, my future, and my wife?”
Adeline was nodding vigorously before she spoke. “Yes… Yes!”
He stood and pulled Adeline into his arms, picking her up and swinging her in a circle. Then, setting her down suddenly with alarmed, worried eyes, he asked, “Are you okay? Are you sick?”
Adeline laughed and threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “No, no, but I do have a craving for pistachio gelato, and I know of the best place…”
“Mmmm, sexy, craving pregnant lady. You gonna send me out for pizza in the middle of the night?”
“Mmhmm, pizza with pickles.”
Nicolo barked with laughter as he held her tight. “Anything for you, t’amu.”
15
Nicolo
“Oh, I’m nervous,” Adeline said as she paced the room and shook her hands as if to flick water off of them. “Are we making the right decision? They’re both so much!”
Nicolo was sitting in front of his computer screen, and on it were two different options to click on. One would purchase an immaculate villa that had a history of making amazing wine. The other was a sprawling mansion that was much bigger than the first, but it would require a lot of tender loving care, hard work, and money to fix up. Nicolo had liked the wine villa, but Adeline had fallen absolutely in love with the mansion that needed some help to reach its best.