by Leah Matheny
“You’ll do fine. I’ll sit with you and watch, and be there to help if you’d like. How are you feeling?”
“I feel great, but no changes. And yes, I would appreciate you being there in case I mess up.” We left to collect everything I needed for dinner. We headed in the opposite direction of the hot pools.
“Tune, would you like to hear more of our Miwok history?”
“Yes, I’ll want to know so I can tell my child about its history...future children...umm…” I ended on a mumble and blush. I was already talking like I was pregnant.
Sitala smiled and acted like she hadn’t heard me. “Let’s see…the first generation of Miwok who came here first camped in the valley below the cave you went through to get here. One day some of the men were tracking a bear and it led them into the cave. Well, the men lit torches and followed the bear into the cave, but they couldn’t find it. The cave is huge with lots of turns and tunnels, taking them in different directions. One of the paths they took led them to this valley. It’s actually a caldera, we’re in the middle of a volcano that exploded eons ago. You’ll notice most of the mountain is covered with volcanic rock. As soon as they saw this place, they knew it would be the perfect sanctuary. They moved their village here and they sealed the openings up with the rolling stones. Over time the men searched the cave. One day they found gold in an area of the mountain that wasn’t covered with hardened lava.”
Sitala turned to me. “Do you remember asking me about the cast iron pots and skillets?”
I nodded and we continued walking.
“Well, when the first group separated from civilization, the people had with them objects from the outside world. The chief didn’t want anything from that world, but the women argued, they liked the pots and skillets. That chief didn’t even allow English to be spoken anymore. The younger generation knew the importance of keeping the knowledge of English, and the chief’s son was one of them. When the son became chief he told people to speak English, to practice daily. They only knew rudimentary English. He told them that they’d never know when the oje’aj might find them…maybe during their time or the time of their great grandchildren. They needed the weapon of knowledge.”
Sitala stopped again to point something out to me. The structures were huge, conical shaped baskets of different sizes, hanging on poles off the ground. “These are our version of a silo. They hold our grain and nuts.” She showed me how to open the bottom to retrieve what I needed.
“Now a few generations later, when they realized they needed women with a different bloodline, they knew they had to leave for the first time. Two men were selected to take some of the gold…they needed to find another Miwok tribe so they could buy horses and women.” Sitala stopped and looked at me. “I know, I know, things were different for women back then. Anyway…their wives and mothers wanted them to buy more cookware.”
“The men were gone almost three months. They returned with three Miwok women, four horses, tools for the men, and cookware for the women. They also brought animals to raise for food. Look over there.” Sitala pointed to pens that held chickens, goats, and pigs. As we got closer, I could also see rabbits. Just a bit farther away were the horses. “New animals need to be brought in every so often to change and strengthen the bloodlines.” We walked away.
“When the men returned, they were forbidden to discuss their trip. The women brought here were also forbidden to speak of the outside world. No one here is to have knowledge of the outside world, except for the chief and whoever goes on these trips. The information they gathered was told to the chief and passed down from chief to chief through time. Every generation or two since then, either the chief himself went outside with someone to help him or he would select some men to go get what was needed. Time passed and Miwok tribes were harder to find, so they began to go to other tribes. Later on, people weren’t willing to sell their women so our men began to kidnap them.” Sitala stopped to look at me again. I thought she was likely trying to judge my reaction. “I know that must seem barbaric to you, but taking women was--and still is--the only way we could survive.”
I smiled at her lightly. “I know the situation. Muata told me about it one day. I am curious about one thing, you said we. You consider yourself one of them?”
Sitala looked surprised. “Yes, I do! I’ve lived here most of my life. My sons are Miwok. Dani, if you met a man, got married, moved to Boston, and after raising your children and living there most of your life, wouldn’t you consider yourself a Bostonian? You’d consider yourself part of that community, right?”
I blinked in realization. “You’re absolutely right. Put that way, yes.”
“Come in here.” She pulled me into a cave. As soon as I entered I saw a drape and smelled smoke. “This is where we smoke our meat.” Sitala pulled the drape aside for me to see and we took some for dinner.
We walked out and Sitala continued, “As more English-speaking women were brought here--and by then they were treated better--more English was learned. One of the women brought here had been a teacher. She made her children only speak English to her and she taught them to read and write. When the others saw how well those children spoke, some saw the benefits. Other English-speaking mothers started doing the same. Later, some of the Miwok women had their children spend hours a day with the English-speaking children and their mothers. This soon led to the first school here. Later, all mothers would speak only English to their children and the fathers spoke Miwokan. Everyone here is bi-lingual. Only some adults kept up with reading and writing, although it’s a little difficult without a stationery store and library,” she laughed.
“Honon will become chief next and he already knows the secrets from all the past chiefs. A year before he was supposed to leave for the first time, I told him everything I knew about the world. At that time we were running low on cash, so Honon needed to sell more gold. I had Wuyi draw us a map in the dirt of our location and I told Honon to head in the direction of Mammoth Lakes. Because of his clothing, I told him to say he was a model on a photo shoot. I told him to head to a jewelry store and ask there where to sell the gold nuggets, and to ask for a clothing store so he could buy jeans, shirts, jackets, socks and hiking boots in a few different sizes for future times he and others would be going out there.”
“But when they took me, all of them were dressed in full Indian clothing.” I’d never forget that delicious, scary sight.
“I’m not sure. I know Honon and Muata don’t like the tight, binding jeans. I know they took the clothes with them. Maybe they just hadn’t changed yet. Anyway, in the past ten years Honon and Muata have gone outside four times, counting this last time when they took you. We knew they had to go back out again. Honon didn’t take the others with him this time. He went alone and Wuyi is not happy about it.”
“I thought they only went out every, or every-other generation?”
“It’s getting harder and harder for them to find what they need in one trip, not be discovered, and get back here safely.”
Dinner was a success. Plus, the whole day passed and I didn’t hear any “rumor” about me being pregnant. I guessed Sitala and Papina had just been teasing me.
The next evening all of us were at Sitala’s for dinner. Kosumi and Liwanu were even there. After dinner we were eating a dessert of a cracker with honey on it when everyone got quiet. I looked up to see them all looking at me.
“What?” I looked around.
Wuyi had a big grin on his face. He came over to me and stood me up. “Tune, you will make me a Papa, a grandfather? You will make this potokmeh, grey hair man, very happy?”
I looked to Sitala and she smiled. “You said two days. That’s tonight,” she said, clapping her hands. Everyone was asking me if I was pregnant.
“Yes…I’m pregnant,” I smiled. At least I was pretty sure I was pregnant. They all came and gave me hugs and congratulations.
I thought Wuyi cheered the loudest. “Tonight we send up prayers for the safety and
good health of our new baby,” he said as he bowed his head.
I felt my skirt being pulled and looked down. “Yes, Helaku?”
She looked very subdued. “You will still be my friend and want to be with me after your baby is here?” She almost looked like she might cry, so I picked her up.
“Of course, my little Sunshine, I’ll always want you around. You’ll be a big sister to the baby. You can help to teach the baby, just like you teach me.”
Grabbing me around the neck, she gave me a big kiss. “Then now I am happy for you,” she said with her huge smile, and everyone laughed. The celebration went on for another two hours. People came to see what the commotion was about and news soon spread through the whole village. I had a wonderful evening.
A week later I woke up and barely got out of bed before I threw up. Oh, I was miserable. I kept waiting for my stomach to turn inside out and come completely out of me. I realized someone was holding back my hair for me and rubbing my back. I peeked around. “Sita…” I began dry heaving.
Kosumi announced himself.
“Give me the bowl, Kosumi,” said Sitala. She began to rub my forehead and the back of my neck with a cold rag.
“Ahhh, that feels good. Thank y…” I knew mothers got sick, but I didn’t know how I was going to survive it. I was slapping the ground trying to get my lungs to fill up with air, but I couldn’t because my stomach was contracting and heaving. Finally catching my breath, I lay down on the ground. “Sitala…please…no more.” Then I was up on my knees again over a bowl.
Many hours later I could finally sit up and sip some broth. Papina was with me by then. “Oh, Papina, did you get sick like this?”
“I was sick, but not as bad as you. Hopefully this will only last a month or two. Though I don’t know how you could take a week of this,” she said with a sad smile. “Is there anything else I can get you? Would you like to go down and have a bath? You may only go in the cool pool now, no more hot pool until after the baby.”
“Yeah, I know about that. Thank you, I’m just too tired to walk there now.”
By early afternoon I was feeling better and Sitala walked me to the cool pool to bathe. Misu, Liwanu’s sister-in-law, was there and she jumped up to give me a big hug. “Huyana, we are so happy for you. I know you were sick this morning. If you need help, you come get me. And when you feel better, you come eat with us again.”
“Thank you, Misu, I’ll do that.” She was a round, happy type of person who I felt probably made everyone feel comfortable. We all sat and talked. Misu told me about her pregnancy and the birth of her baby. “I guess you had an easy time, you’re lucky. I’m just glad you didn’t tell me one of those horror stories so many mothers like to frighten pregnant women with.” We all laughed. “But truthfully, I’ve seen some horror stories at my work. I’ve seen a few women die during childbirth, and that’s with all the medical advancement we have today.”
Misu and Papina looked at each other blankly.
Ooops. “Never mind, I don’t know what I was thinking.” I remembered that we weren’t supposed to talk about the outside world.
I ate a lot at dinner that night and went to bed on a full stomach. Honon’s been gone for two weeks. I hope he won’t be too much longer. Ha, I hope a lot more than that.
The next week was more of the same. Every morning I was horribly sick, and the dry heaves were the worst. Sitala, Papina and Misu took turns helping me; even a few other women came to help. I don’t know what I would have done without them.
I was lying there panting while Papina rubbed a cold cloth over my body. “Just shoot me now. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
“I know, but we’re strong. All women survive the morning sickness. After you hold your baby in your arms you’ll think this was all worth it.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard the line,” I sighed. “I’d love a bath. I think my stomach has stopped now. Maybe if you help me, we can make it?”
Papina put one arm around my waist and slung my other arm around her shoulders. We’d just taken a couple of steps outside when Liwanu stepped into our path. He leaned over and picked me up, cradling me in his arms. “Where do you want to go?” He asked.
“To the cool bath, give me a minute so I may grab Huyana’s basket of supplies,” Papina said as she ran back inside.
Liwanu set me down next to the pool. “Papina, come get me if Dani needs help returning.” We both thanked him and he walked away.
Later in the afternoon, Sitala came by and said that Wuyi wanted me to come to dinner that night. “I also want to let you know that Honon has returned.” She looked hopeful.
My heart picked up its beat. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, won’t Honon be there too? I don’t have the strength for him right now. I’m sorry.” I desperately wanted to see him, but I was afraid.
“Tune, I think you misunderstood me. When I said Wuyi wants you to come to dinner, it was not an invitation, it’s an order from the chief. Don’t worry, if Honon is there Wuyi will make him treat you civilly. Now, before you come over, put on the outfit Honon gave you. Also, splash your face with cold water and pinch your cheeks. Comb your hair and leave it down. It’s so beautiful with all those red waves and it makes your green eyes stand out.” She smiled and turned to go.
Primp for Honon, ha! Part of me felt like going over there in rags, with dirt on my face.
I did decide to put on the outfit Honon had given me and I did leave my hair down. Being so nervous didn’t exactly help my stomach, but I steeled myself and headed over for dinner. By the time I walked into Sitala’s, my heart was beating out of my chest. I looked around. Honon wasn’t there, and I let out an audible sigh of relief.
“You aren’t nervous are you?” Kosumi asked me with a conspirator’s smile.
“You’ve got to be kidding, look at my hands, they’re shaking.” I held my hands out and he took a hold of them and rubbed them. “Kosumi, has anyone told Honon about the baby?”
“No, not that I know of. He’s been in such a bad mood since he came back that everyone is afraid to approach him, much less talk to him.” He patted my cheek. “Don’t worry, Falling Rain, all will be okay.”
“Well, I guess it’s up to me to tell him tonight, if he shows. Speaking of which,” I quickly glanced toward the entrance, “Honon seeing us together right now wouldn’t be a good idea, not with his insane imagination.” I smiled at Kosumi and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
“Well, look at the lovers. They can hardly keep their hands off each other.” Honon said.
“Honon, you will stop this at once!” Wuyi spoke harshly. “Kosumi is your brother. He would not behave badly with your future wife.”
“My what!” “His what!” Honon and I said in unison. Our heads snapped around to look at each other and quickly looked away.
Wuyi looked like a fierce chief as he slammed his cane into the ground and said, “Huyana is to have your child. You will be honorable and marry her.”
Honon turned to glare at me. “Falling Rain? You’ve been named…by whom?”
My jaw dropped open. “That’s your concern, who named me? It doesn’t matter.” I turned to Wuyi. “Wuyi, please, I don’t want to get married like this.”
“Nonsense, daughter, you will marry Honon.” He turned to Honon. “Honon, you will claim this child so he will be in line for chief.”
Honon just stood there, looking smug. “Father, how do you know the child is mine? Where is Liwanu, shouldn’t he be here?” He nodded his head toward Kosumi. “And my dear brother, he also has a stake in this, doesn’t he?”
Before anyone else moved, I turned and slapped Honon in the face. “How dare you accuse your brother of betraying you!” And before I could take a step back, Honon grabbed my wrist in a tight grip and held up his other hand, showing me two fingers. He shook his head. I started to breathe heavy.
Wuyi grabbed Honon’s arm and he let go of me. I felt safer and continued, “And, how dare you
accuse your good friend, Liwanu. They would never betray you. They knew how you felt about me.” I stopped for a second when he gave me an incredulous look. “Yes, felt…before I ran away from you that last day. You don’t deserve their loyalty. Stop acting like a cakah’uc, an ass, and grow up!”
I turned to Wuyi and Sitala. “Please excuse me, I’m so sorry. Please…I have to leave.” I turned without looking at Honon and ran all the way back to my place. I sat rocking back and forth on the bed, trying to calm myself. I didn’t cry.
A little later Sitala arrived with food. “Here, you need all the nourishment you can get before your stomach acts up again. Kosumi wanted to bring this over, but I thought that would just make matters worse.”
“How was everything after I left?” I was almost afraid to know.
“Wuyi told Honon that if he’d been a younger man, you wouldn’t have been able to beat him to the slap and that Honon should be happy because his slap would have been much harder. Then Kosumi said about the same thing, except his excuse was that he was farther away.” Sitala chuckled. “Wuyi told Honon he should be proud to have a strong woman like you, you’ll make strong sons.”
I smiled lightly. “Sitala, please tell Wuyi not to force Honon to marry me. If he’s forced, his bitterness will never leave. At least give me a couple of months to work on him. Have Liwanu and Kosumi explained to Honon…have they told him we didn’t do anything?”
“Yes, they’ve told him, but Honon is too stubborn to listen to reason. He said it doesn’t matter what he believes because you’ve been with others besides them.” She looked extremely uncomfortable telling me this.
“Well, this is the first time I’ve ever been accused of being a slut. Wow,” I said with a little huff of bewilderment. “I’m sorry, but I’m exhausted. I need to sit and think about what to do. Thank you for the food.” I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.