“Fine.” He didn’t really have the patience for this, but he knew his brother. Come hell or high water, he would have his say.
“Do you still love her?”
Well, shit! He so did not want to have this talk with his brother.
“Not important.”
“Yes, it is,” Quinn persisted.
“No it isn’t.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow at him. “You wanna do this all day? I got all the time in the world, bro.”
“What the fuck? What do you want? Why the hell do you care if I love her?” He was getting pissed now. He really did not want to have this discussion.
Quinn laughed and continued. “Because, dear brother, if you do love her, letting her go could be the biggest mistake of your life. I know it, and I think, deep down, you know it, too.”
He sat there staring at his brother. He wanted to say something curt and tell him to leave, but he knew that even if he threw him physically out the door, he’d just get back up again, dust himself off, and march right back in here again like the persistent little bastard that he was.
“What’s the matter? I hit a nerve?” Quinn asked.
“Don’t be smug, little brother. You almost lost the woman you loved, too. Need I remind you? It wasn’t that long ago after all.” It was a dig and a low blow because he knew how hard it had been on his brother when he’d almost lost Ann. He didn’t care though. This was none of his brother’s business, and it was really starting to piss him off that he was standing there all smug trying to give him life lessons.
“Ah, indeed I did, big brother, indeed I did. But you’re forgetting something very important.”
He was really trying Derek’s patience. “And what might that be?”
“The key word in that sentence is that I almost lost her. At the end of the day, I bucked the fuck up and did what I had to do to make sure that never happened. Because all that mattered was I loved her and she loved me, and everything else seemed pretty damn stupid in comparison.”
“Easy for you to say.”
Smiling, Quinn answered, “Yep, I know. Very easy for me to say? I’m married to the woman of my dreams, I love her more than anything in this world, even your stubborn ass, and I’m happy. Can you say the same thing?”
Derek sat there staring at his brother, who cockily gave him a nod and a smile before walking out of the office.
He was right. He knew if he separated his feelings for Sandi from the hurt she caused that he’d see things more clearly, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t. He had tried so hard in the past couple of days. No matter how much he loved her, he could not find a way to get past the pain she caused.
It killed him when she left. It destroyed him every time he thought of another man touching her or…His hand clenched around the coffee cup so hard, he thought he may break it.
It was just no good. How could he love her so much but still have so much anger and hatred inside of him? He just couldn’t understand it. A year ago, hell, even a month ago, he would have done anything to have Sandi in his life again, not to mention his arms.
So why the hell was it that as soon as he had her, he was willing to give her up and just toss her aside? Quinn was right about that part. He was throwing her away. The bitch of it was, he didn’t want to.
The unbearable tightness in his jeans told him that his body was winning the argument over his brain. He wanted to bury himself inside of her right this very minute. It didn’t matter how much she hurt him or the betrayal he had felt after she left him for another man. He could not erase the feeling he got when he was with her.
He heard the sound of Quinn’s truck start in the parking lot outside his office window. The arrogant, little twerp grew up to be one smart man. He smiled for just a second, wondering where the hell he’d gotten it from. Lord knew their father had been the biggest ass when it came to women, and their mothers were lovely women but held little in the department of teaching their sons the importance of what is right and wrong in a relationship.
Placing his hands behind his head, he propped his feet up on the desk. Could that be it? Was his childhood and seeing what his mother went through with his father the reason for his refusal to forgive and forget?
“Damn it!” he shouted to the empty room.
He wanted to believe Sandi. He wanted to be okay with her again. He wanted to hold her and make love to her.
So why in the hell did he get his ass on a plane and leave the only woman he’s ever loved? If there was an answer, he would really like to hear it because as sure as he sat there, he knew there was no God damn good answer to that question.
Chapter 16
She heard the knock on her door, but ignored it. It was probably just Zach or one of the other house staff he has sent to check on her countless times in the past few days. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She just wanted to be left alone. Turning a page, she went on to read the next chapter in her book.
“Go away,” she yelled after a second knock came.
“Can’t do that, Sandi. Now open this door.”
“Zach?” It was definitely his voice she heard, but there was something else in it that sounded like he was angry.
She got up from the chair, carefully placing the ribbon bookmark in its place, so she’d know just where she left off. When a third knock came, along with Zach’s insistent demands that she answer, she hurried toward the door, opening it for him.
“What’s the matter?”
Zach stormed in the room, taking the door and slamming it. “That’s what I’d like to know!” he shouted.
Startled by his anger, she took a few steps back. “Zach, I don’t know why you’re so upset but I—”
“Oh save it.” He shook his head and stopped her from talking, “I just got finished talking to the kitchen staff. It seems you’ve barely eaten enough for a bird to sustain itself in days.”
She sighed as his curt words interrupted her. “Zach, please don’t start. I haven’t been very hungry.”
“I don’t fucking care, God damn it!”
“Pardon me?”
“You heard me, Sandi. This is getting old. I’m allowing you to stay here at no cost. People spend hundreds, sometimes thousands to become a part of the experience we offer here.”
“Zach—”
“No! Not another word. You’re going to listen to me, and you’re not going to like it, but you will hear every word I say. Do you understand me?”
She went back over to her chair when he motioned for her to sit. Once comfortable, she looked up at him and nodded, albeit hesitantly, waiting for the scolding to begin.
“Look, Sandi. I care about you. I think you are a very sweet person who has been through some very unfortunate turns in her life, but enough is enough. You have got to get your shit together. Derek is not coming back.”
Hearing him say it struck a nerve that she hadn’t felt in at least two days. Tears welled up in her eyes.
“No, you will not, do you hear me? You will not cry! The son of a bitch doesn’t deserve your tears.”
She quickly interrupted him. “He is not that! Don’t call him that! Ever!”
He raised his eyebrows at her. “Oh, you don’t like hearing that, huh?”
She wasn’t sure why he looked pleased with himself, but she was not happy. She was furious. “How dare you call him that!”
“How dare I call him that, you ask? Heh! What a joke. Okay, sweetheart, I’ll tell you how. I call him that because he is one!”
She started to get up from her chair.
“Sit down!” he shouted.
“I don’t have to sit here and listen to this, Zach!”
He gave her an agreeing nod. “Nope, you’re right. You do not have to sit here and listen to it. Why don’t you pack your bags and go mope somewhere else? Because I am sick and tired of watching a beautiful, young woman like yourself live her life in her own world of self-induced pity just because that prick, Derek Travis, is too stupid to kn
ow a good thing when he sees it.”
She watched as he rapidly made his speech, and his face got redder.
“Zach, are you all right?”
He took a deep breath and sat on the bed across the room. Shaking his head, he answered, “No. No, sweetie, I’m not.”
“Can I get you something? Do you need a glass of water?” She started to get up without even waiting for him to answer.
“Sandi, stop. I’m physically okay. But I cannot sit idly by while I watch you literally dwindle away into nothing. I get that he broke your heart, but the staff tells me you’ve barely eaten anything in days. That’s not good, honey. You have to eat. You have to at least sustain yourself until you figure out what you’re going to do. Do you understand that?”
She wanted to argue with him and tell him she had eaten, that she has been taking care of herself, but she knew that it would be a lie. Instead, she hung her head and covered her face.
They sat there in silence for the longest time. She couldn’t look back up at him. She wasn’t crying. She couldn’t find the tears. She was just so tired and numb. It was almost like she could no longer feel. When she felt his reassuring hand smooth her hair down, she looked up at him.
“Sweetie, I know you love him. And I think on some level, he loves you, too, but the truth of the matter is, Derek Travis is too far gone in his own anger to give you what you need, or more importantly, what you deserve.”
“I know.” She stood up and held onto him.
His friendly embrace was so comforting to her. Zach had always been so kind to her since the day she’d first met him. She pulled away just a bit and looked at him.
“Do you think he ever will? Be able to get past his anger, I mean?”
Zach shook his head and gave her a somber look. “I don’t know, honey. I just don’t know.”
When he tried to pull her back into a hug, first his hand and then his watch got caught in her hair. They both laughed as he spent over a minute trying to detach himself from her tangled locks.
“Sandi, you are a beautiful woman, but”—he took a deep sniff before he smiled at her—“you really need to take a shower. You’re a mess!”
“Hey!” She shoved him, but giggled because she knew he was right.
“Sorry, but you stink!”
She was laughing so hard she couldn’t believe she’d spent the past days so miserable. He was absolutely right. She couldn’t wallow in her misery her whole life.
“Oh fine. I’ll take a shower.”
“Good, then meet me in the dining room in an hour. I’m going to get your boney ass to eat something if it’s the last thing I do.” He gave her butt a good smack before leaving.
* * * *
An hour later, she entered the dining area to find Zach sitting there reading the newspaper. He peeked over the top of it and gave her a wink.
“Have a seat,” he told her while folding it up and setting it beside his plate.
She eyed all the food lying out on the table. “Wow. Are we expecting an army?”
He gave her a smirk. “No, but this is about the amount of food you’d let go to waste in the past few days. I had the help dig it out of the trash.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh? Wouldn’t I? It doesn’t come cheap to run a place this size after all. I’ve got to cut corners wherever I can.”
She almost believed his poker face for a second until she saw one corner of his mouth turn up and twitch as he tried to fight his smile.
“You brat!” She laughed. “I almost believed you for a second.”
He raised a glass of juice to her in salute. “I’m so glad to see you smiling again. I know these past few days have been hard on you, but it will get better, sweetie.”
She reached over and covered his hand with hers. “Thank you, Zach. You really are too good to me. Do you know that?”
“Pffftt…nonsense, woman! Now eat!” He motioned with his hands toward all the food.
Smiling, she picked up a leg of the fried chicken. She remembered telling Zach it was her favorite of all foods that one should never eat. It was also one of the most requested items on the menu at Derek’s restaurant.
She shook the thought from her mind as quickly as it appeared though. No longer could she dwell on him. He had left her this time. After only a couple days, he left her with a meaningless note that meant little and explained nothing. She had to find a way to move on with her life. If there was ever proof that she was hanging onto something that was no longer there, that note he left her was it. Derek Travis just simply did not care for her anymore.
Thirty minutes later, they were sitting there, practically in tears from laughing so hard as they told each other silly jokes and random stories about one another.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I ate way too much. While I couldn’t possibly hit the treadmill right now for fear I’d probably throw up all over it, I could probably stand a good and hard workout in a few hours. Are you game?” Zach said.
“Work out with you? Wow, I don’t know. You’re pretty fit. Something tells me that I’m more of a beginner”
“Nah. You’re too hard on yourself. I’m fit, yes. But I’ve got my routine down and kept to it for so many years it hardly feels like work now.”
She laughed and shook her head at him. “How does that help your argument?”
“I guess it doesn’t.” He chuckled. “Oh shut it, woman! Just meet me in the gym in about”—he checked his watch—“say four hours.”
“Something tells me I’m going to regret this, but okay.”
“Oh, you’ll love it. Besides, after all that food you ate, you better do something, Miss Piggy.”
She reached over with a smile and smacked his arm. “Oh really? Well, you weren’t exactly holding back. Maybe you need the workout more than I do. You easily ate two times what I did. So there!” Playfully, she stuck her tongue out at him.
“I don’t have to look good. I can get it whenever I want it.” He stuck his tongue out back at her.
She sat there for a moment. Her smile slightly faded. She wondered why she never saw him with a woman. It seemed odd to her now that she thought about it that a man who spent so much time, money, and energy into a place dedicated for people to find sexual satisfaction did nothing to satisfy his own needs.
“Did I say something wrong?” he inquired.
“No. I’m sorry, I was just thinking, but it’s probably much too personal.”
She watched as he raised an inquisitive brow at her and settled back in his chair. “Is that so? Well, try me.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to offend or upset you.”
Smiling, he answered, “Yes, Sandi. I’m sure. I’ve got pretty thick skin. What’s the matter?”
She thought about it for a second before responding, but decided to just go for it. He had been very good to her. Maybe she could be just as good of a friend for him as well.
“I was just wondering why I never seem to see you with a…um…I guess you could call it a date?”
She was surprised by his loud roar of laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
Still laughing, he got up from his seat and walked over to her. Gently kissing her on the cheek, he then whispered into her ear.
“My dear, just because you do not see me with a date, does not mean I do not have them.” He winked and walked toward the double doors which led out into the hallway.
“Oh really?” She was amused by his answer.
Turning back, he replied. “Yes. Oh really. Now go rest up. You’re going to need it. See you in the gym in four hours. Do not be late!”
All she could do was smile as he left. She may have lost Derek, the only man she has ever loved, but at least she had a friend like Zach to keep her on a good path.
Chapter 17
Derek closed the door to the stable and took a deep breath of the clean air surrounding him. It had been probably over a year since he had gotten on a ho
rse. The freedom felt good. Just riding for a few hours without a care in the world. Nothing to think about. Nothing to decide.
Warren, the stable manager, was bringing a mare around the side of the fence when he spotted Derek and stopped dead in his tracks.
“Well, I’ll be a pig in mud. If it isn’t the famous, or should I say, the infamous Derek Travis.”
Derek smiled at the man he’d grown affectionately to know as one of the most arrogant and cocky men around town. At least that was what all the ladies claimed. Funny thing was, for every time he heard a woman complain about their town Lothario, they were all too willing to be his next date.
Warren tied the mare up to a post while it drank from a trough of water and walked over to him, extending his hand out. “How the hell have you been?”
He gave him a firm handshake back, knowing all too well from experience that Warren was the old-fashioned, rugged cowboy type. The kind who would break his hand in a death grip of a shake if he gave him too much leeway.
“Not too bad, partner. How are things with old man Jenkins? He still a cranky, old bastard?”
Warren spit a hunk of chewing tobacco to the side and nodded. “Yeah, he’s an ornery one, that guy. You know him though. Approaching eighty and still thinks he can do it all.”
“Eighty? Shit, really? Damn, I had no idea he was that old.”
Warren gave a mocking shudder as he held onto his cowboy hat and looked around. “Careful, man. We don’t use the O word around here. He starts throwing things and cursing and shit like that.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “Cursing and shit like that, huh?”
“Yep. Anyway, man. What the hell have you been up to? I’ve been to the restaurant a handful of times, but I don’t think I’ve seen you there in months. Where you been hiding?”
“I’m usually there. Just working in the back, taking care of the books and stuff.”
“Books, huh? I heard your brother’s fine-looking new wifey, Ann, does the books just fine.”
Derek knew from the look on Warren’s face that there was hidden sexual innuendo all over that comment.
Morgan, Nicole - Intimate Confessions [Intimate Temptations 2] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 10